


Of Deals and Traumatic Conversations

by watercolorwoman



Series: Chronostasis [1]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complete, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Slow Burn, Spoilers, akechi is kind of a dick here, but not a lot, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:02:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 105,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24611962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watercolorwoman/pseuds/watercolorwoman
Summary: The foundation of their relationship was a deal. Ryuji helps Makoto get stronger, and she helps him with his school work. It wasn't supposed to get this complicated. As the deals become more serious, things get far more out of hand than they both expect. For better or for worse, they're tied to each other.(Complete)
Relationships: Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakura Futaba, Kurusu Akira & Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Takamaki Ann (former), Kurusu Akira/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Niijima Makoto & Okumura Haru, Niijima Makoto/Sakamoto Ryuji, Suzui Shiho/Takamaki Ann
Series: Chronostasis [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828765
Comments: 142
Kudos: 356





	1. Prologue

Just as quickly as her persona awoke, she was gone. Makoto had enough of Kaneshiro and decided she was ready to fight back. Ryuji had seen everyone's awakening, even Joker's, which remained a mystery to the rest of the team. But never had he seen something as intense as hers. 

She'd left a mess on the floor where she stepped and broke the ceramic tile. She was a natural, attacking as though she had her whole life. With Johanna, she blasted shadows with a bright power that mirrored his own. He knew it wasn't electricity, but it still burned just as bright. It was hard to believe that their class president, the one who harassed them for weeks, was now a member of their team. 

_Well, not officially yet, right?_ Ryuji thought in the back of the Morgana van. They had barely escaped from Kaneshiro and would shortly be back in reality. If this was an indication of how this palace would go, Ryuji was excited for what was next. He felt the shift he felt every time they went from the metaverse to reality. He closed his eyes, taking it in for a moment before waking back up in reality. 

\--

"What just happened… what did I do?" He heard Makoto say. She had a blank look on her face and she suddenly slumped down the floor. Her arms wrapped around her legs, and she rested her head on top of her knees. 

"You kicked some serious ass out there!" Ryuji said, grinning from ear to ear. "Dude, a rideable persona? That's sick!" 

"I think I'm gonna be sick." 

"How about we call it here? Everyone go home and rest, it's going to be a long few weeks. We can talk about our plan tomorrow." Akira steps in. As the leader of the Phantom Thieves, he was always two steps ahead of everyone. Odds are, he already had a plan to secure a treasure route. At least, Ryuji was pretty sure he had a plan. 

Everyone agreed it was best to go home for the night, and for the most part, went their separate ways to catch their respective trains. Ryuji walked to his platform, looking at his surroundings. At this hour, there normally wasn't too many people going on the train. Usually, there a dozen people waiting to get on the train. The people who lingered behind after rush hour. 

Ryuji was used to this; he'd always wait for the 7:20 train back to his neighborhood. Depending on the adventure, he could either go earlier with the 7:05 train or had to take the 7:50. It was a routine, and the only one he enjoyed doing. It was a time for him to collect his thoughts, at least it normally was. 

He was surprised to feel a tap on his shoulder. 

"Are you also taking the 7:20?" It was Makoto. She was still in her school uniform, but it'd felt like a whole new day after finally entering Kaneshiro's palace. She smiled at him. "Sakamoto?" He hadn't realized his mind had wandered. 

"Uh yeah, sorry. Yeah, we're usually done around this time. I always take it back home." He stepped forward to see if he could see the train coming. By now, he'd at least see the lights in the distance. And yet, there was nothing. 

"Looks like it's running late. Does it normally come late at this hour?" She asked. Ryuji shrugged, causing her to sigh. "I thought you always took it back home." 

"Pshhh yeah, but how would I know if it's on time or late?" He sputtered. She gave him a look like she was waiting for an answer. "I mean, I can't see the lights?"

"The rainy season is ongoing, I would hope the tunnels aren't flooded." She comments. There's a silence between them. Neither of them is interested in this conversation. 

"Look, I guess since you're probably joinin' the team and we take the same train home, we should talk about somethin' other than the train." If he was stuck with her for this time, he may as well get used to her. That meant more than just the weather or that the train was late. 

"I suppose you're right. Well, I do have a question for you, but it may require an empty car if we can find one." She responded. Ryuji was confused; why would she want an empty car just to ask a question? Makoto looked over at him. She opened her mouth to respond but heard the train horn echo the station. 

When they stepped inside, no one entered the same car as them. With the doors closed and the train moving, Ryuji and Makoto sat in the same row. She placed her backpack on the empty seat next to her, and Ryuji kicked his feet up. She gave him a stern look, causing him to sheepishly put his feet back on the ground. 

"How did you guys follow me? I doubt Morgana can turn into a bus in reality. We were moving so fast in the car, I'm surprised you caught me in time." Makoto asked. _Ohhhh, she meant palace stuff. That's why she wanted an empty car._

"Well, Yusuke wrote down the plate and I jumped in front of a taxi-" 

"You jumped in front of a taxi? That's extremely reckless!" She gasped. Why would he do that? Was he trying to get killed? She wasn't sure his motive, or if his team was that desperate to save her. After all, they barely knew her. 

"Yeah well, when you're trying to save someone from the mafia, what else are you gonna do?" He waved his hands in the air. "No one would stop, I waved like a normal person but nooo, they didn't stop… but yeah, we just took a taxi and asked them to follow the license plate." 

She sat up, fixing the wrinkles on her skirt. She looked up briefly, counting the stops left until she had to get off. From where they hopped on, she had to wait five stops or about 10 minutes. 

"Please, avoid throwing yourself into traffic again." She looked directly at him, "But I appreciate everyone helping me. I've learned a lot today." 

The train slowed to a stop. The doors opened, but again, no one entered their car. With the train moving again, they never resumed their conversation. They sat quietly until the door opened for the third time, and Ryuji rushed off of the train without saying goodbye. 

\--

This palace was the hardest one they had encountered thus far. Going through Kaneshiro's palace, Ryuji couldn't help but be impressed with Makoto. She was quick to help step in and create a plan with Morgana to secure the treasure route. Makoto was a powerful fighter, but she was also a much-needed healer. Ryuji would see it first hand when encountering a stronger than average shadow. He was pulled out of his thoughts with Joker clearing his throat

“Okay team, we’re almost there. Before we go forward, I want to make a few changes. Panther and Fox, you’re up. Skull and Queen, stay behind.” Joker says in the safe room. They were close to securing their route but still needed one big push to get through. This meant having as strong a team as possible. Skull and Queen were good but had been fighting for a while now. For Queen, it was the first time she had been asked to stay behind. 

“What do you mean? Do you wait in the safe room or stay a safe distance away from the rest of the team?” Makoto asked, standing at the other end of the table. 

“The second one! You stay close, but not too close, in case Joker says we need to change out again.” Mona answered. He turned to Joker, “Anything else before we go?”

“No, just the team change. I trust both of you will be fine. Let’s go.” 

The main team filed out, with Skull and Queen lingering behind. Queen had seen Skull in action, and it was more or less what she expected. He dealt physical damage to shadows, with the occasional electric attack. He had a tough personality in reality, so it made sense to her that his persona matched. Lingering behind, Queen didn’t expect much. She was able to see the main team fight from a distance. Whenever that happened, the two looked for a place to hide and watch. Since Panther and Fox hadn’t fought this trip yet, they were well-rested and ready to fight shadows. For the most part, it was a boring position, but Queen understood the value of staying nearby and observing. 

The further they went, the better Skull felt about hanging behind with Queen. They hadn’t stayed behind together yet, so he wasn’t sure what to expect. He was quiet with Mona, neither of them wanting to talk. He joked around with Panther, but whether she was up to talk or not varied. Fox was his favorite because he always had a funny comment on whatever happened. Fox didn’t mean for it to be funny, but Skull always loved it. 

“Hold it!” 

The deep voice was startling to Skull and Queen. They knew the group was so far ahead that it couldn’t have been any of them. The pair turned around to see a security guard. Queen wasted no time and ripped her mask off. She jumped and landed right on Johanna, ready to attack. But when the shadow changed, they didn’t recognize it. 

“This ain’t look like anything we’ve seen before,” Skull said, taking off his own mask. 

“Then let’s give it all we got!” 

The shadow wasn’t strong, but with half a full team, they felt the impact. Skull felt it more, as the shadow’s strength was his weakness. He was knocked down over and over, frustrating him more and more. He used as much of his physical strength as he could, knowing there was no way he could attack with electricity. Once he was downed, the shadow seemed ready to deliver a powerful attack. He guarded and close his eyes, bracing himself for the attack. Instead, he felt nothing. Opening his eyes, he saw Queen in front of him taking the attack. Her legs were shaking, but she quickly used Johanna to kill him with one last nuclear attack. 

When the shadow finally disappeared, Queen turned around to face Skull. She lifted her arm, and he started feeling like himself again. Did she use Diarama? He thought to himself. I thought only Mona had something that strong. He knew she was powerful before this, but it didn’t occur to him that she could heal after taking a hit like that. 

“Come on, we’ve fallen behind. We should move.” Queen said, going around him to push forward, he turned around to follow her. 

“Wait Mak - Queen, are you okay? That was a pretty intense hit,” He asked. He jogs a short distance to catch up to her. 

“I’m fine. Although I’m sure when I get home, I’ll need an ice pack.” She looks down at her arms. While she couldn’t see her skin through her suit, she knew she was bruised. While she did heal herself as well, she could only undo so much damage to herself. 

“Thanks.” He says. She nods and turns her head to look at the tall structures around them instead. They stay quiet the rest of the time, but in this time, Skulls comes up with an idea. He knew it would take a day or two for him to figure out how it would work. Or if it could work. But if he did, he knew Kaneshiro was done for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile since I've written any fan fiction, like **three years,** so we're going to give this a shot! Also this completed on my end, so rest assured it will be completed :) 
> 
> Also also, shout to Joyriding by Ikasury because there's a part of this fanficition that's inspired by it.


	2. the light is coming

Ryuji heard the sound of paper on his desk. He looked down at the blank paper before flipping it around to see his latest test score. _Just great, another D_ , He thought, looking at the 67 at the top of his test. He was never the strongest student, but his grades had worsened since the track team disbanded. There were rumors of them getting back together again after the Kamoshida scandal, but even if he was interested, he wouldn’t get back in with grades this low. Besides, he had more important things to worry about that day. With the sound of the bell, he grabbed his test and sped. 

On their last trip to the palace, the Phantom Thieves had secured a route to the treasure. After placing calling cards all over Shibuya yesterday, they only had today to finally bring down Kaneshiro once and for all. Ryuji rushed into the hallway, running directly into Makoto. She fell on the floor, papers flying everywhere. 

“Ah shit I didn’t see you there,” Ryuji said, bending down to grab the papers. 

“No kidding, you really need to be more careful,” Makoto said. She grabbed her papers as well. Ryuji gave her the papers he picked up, and she placed them on top of her pile. She looked down at the pile and saw the 67 at the top of the page. It took her a moment to see Ryuji’s name written at the top. Ryuji saw the paper and grabbed it off the pile. 

“I think that’s mine.” He said with a half-smile. She rolled her eyes and started walking away, with Ryuji not far behind her. 

“I don’t know how you live with yourself earning poor grades like these.” Makoto said, “Don’t you need a B average to stay on a sports team? How did you maintain it before?”

“Well,” Ryuji said, scratching the back of his neck, “I was on a team, now I ain’t. So what’s the point? I just need to pass, and I’m doing that.” 

“Yeah, with a D-average. There’s no way your parents are fine with these grades.” The pair walk out of the school and down the steps.

“My ma knows I’m not getting a track scholarship anymore,” He retorts before awkwardly shifting tones. “I’m sure my old man doesn’t care since he didn’t stick around.” He said quietly. Makoto stops to look at him. She knew a few things about Ryuji, but not enough to truly say she knew him. She didn’t know his home life and didn’t expect him to be so upfront about it. Then again, they had seen each other every day with the Phantom Thieves since she joined a few weeks ago. 

“Look, Ryuji. I can help you develop study habits so you can earn better grades in school. With exams coming up soon, it could help boost your grade. I can’t guarantee an A, but I think you can do better than that.” She says, pointing to the test in his hand. He crumples it up and puts it in his pocket. 

“I guess it’d be nice to show my Ma a good grade for once. But don’t ya got your own exam?” He asked. 

“Yes, but I’ve studied for months. I imagine taking an hour out of my day won’t drop my scores.” They reach the train station, and the pair swipe their respective commuter passes. Waiting for the train, Ryuji thinks about it for a minute. 

“What do you want for it?” He asks

“Excuse me?”

“Studying. I’m not gonna have you help me for free. What do ya want for it?”

“You know,” Makoto answers, “I’ve noticed how physically strong you are as Skull. I have my magic, but after taking the hit last time, I realized if I was a little weaker, I wouldn’t have lasted. I want you to help me withstand hits and boost my endurance.”

“That’s it? That’s easy,” He laughs, but his laugh is drowned out by the sound of trains in the distance. “You can work out with me. I’ll get you into shape in no time!” 

“Great! Sounds like we have a deal.” She smiled. “We can start on Monday, after the weekend.” _Well, that was easier than I expected._ Makoto thought to herself. She would need to look over her notes from last year, but she anticipated it wouldn’t be difficult for her to teach him. If anything, she was worried about his workouts. To have a persona that prioritizes physical attacks, he had to be strong. She could only imagine what his workouts looked like. 

“Hey, before we go to the hideout, can I talk to ya for a sec?” Ryuji asks. They stop in front of the bakery, before the hallway where the others were likely waiting for them. “Let’s stop by the bakery too, this place is awesome.”

Makoto furrowed her brow. “Sure.” She wasn’t sure what he’d want to talk about that he couldn’t have addressed prior. They go to the bakery, where she orders a melon pan. As she reaches into her bag for her wallet, she sees Ryuji paying for her. 

“I got it.” He pays for their goods and the two lean against the window across from the bakery. Makoto takes a bite out of her baked good, enjoying the taste. It’s cool in the station, but she could feel the heat from the window. Summer was right around the corner, but as she expected, the station was bustling. She was surprised by how quiet this corner of the station was, considering its location inside. Nevertheless, she enjoyed the peace before heading into the palace.

“Thank you. What’s on your mind?” She questions. He looks up surprised before clearing his throat. 

“You know what? It’s nothin’.” He says quickly. 

“Well, it definitely doesn’t seem like ‘nothin’’ to you.” She pushes for an answer. He sighs, fidgeting with the bread in his hands. 

“Uh… So I’ve been doin’ a little thinkin’, and well, how do I put it… I guess I was thinkin’ about coming up with a new move, like a tag-team move, kinda thing. I started thinkin’ about the idea a few days ago, but I was playin’ this game last night and hit me. And it’s a move that’s gonna need your help-” He was awkward, stuttering a few of his words. She wasn’t entirely sure where he was going with this ‘tag-team move’ idea he had. 

“My help?” She asked, cutting him off. His eyes widened. 

“Know what? Never mind, I just saw somethin’ cool in a game and when I try sayin’ it out loud, it seems too insane.” 

“Hm,” She was finally starting to put it together when he called his idea insane. “What you’re trying to say is you came up with an attack that can outclass our other ones? Why don’t you tell me your idea? It must be a pretty good one.” 

“Uh alright, just promise you won’t get mad at me?” Makoto hadn’t really seen this much vulnerability from him before. She was learning far more about him today than she had anticipated. Why was he so nervous to tell her? But she nods, and Ryuji explains his idea. He was right, it _did_ sound like something out of a game. It was a unique idea; the only other time she’d seen something similar thus far was with Ann and Morgana. She was impressed with their attack, and this one sounded right up her alley. 

“I see…” She said quietly, trailing off. Ryuji wasn’t sure what she thought. Did he stay up way too late playing video games last night? Yes, but he also came up with a way to create a tag team attack with him and Makoto. He knew he wanted to come up with one after seeing Ann and Morgana use their attack, but he wasn’t sure who he could’ve done it with. He thought about Yusuke, but he didn’t think he’d say yes to this crazy idea. Makoto on the other hand… he figured he had a 2% chance, which was better than his chance with Yusuke. 

“Heh, it’s stupid right? Yeah I’m just jokin’.” He said, half laughing before quickly saying, “Please forget what I said.”

“I think it can work.” His mouth dropped at her response. She said yes? To my weird idea? He thought. 

“Wait what?”

“But if we’re going to do this, we’re going to have to push ourselves harder than ever before. Think you can keep up?” She smiled. 

“Y-yes ma’am! We’ll show them the true meaning of pain.” He fist-pumped the air. He couldn’t believe she actually listened, much less agreed. If they were going to test it out, he knew today would be the perfect day for it. Ending Kaneshiro with his own tag-team attack? It sounded like a dream come true. He knew it was unlikely, but he hoped they could squeeze it in somewhere. They finish their bread and head down the hallway, ready to enter Kaneshiro’s palace for the last time.

\--

“Now! Let us strike!” Yusuke shouted, initiating an all-out attack. Kaneshiro was a difficult ruler, and while they knew he would likely pull some unexpected tricks, they were never sure what he had planned. They knew what to expect based on Kamoshida and Madarame, but every palace rule was different. After the all-out attack, Kaneshiro got back on his feet and dealt an impressive attack. Panther and Fox were knocked down with the attack, and Morgana rushed to heal his fallen teammates. Kaneshiro turned his attention to Joker. 

“You’re next!” He shouted, preparing his next attack. Queen felt the blood rush from her face. She hadn’t seen anything like him yet, but based on previous stories from the team, she thought it would’ve been easier. The last thing she wanted right now was for her new friends to fall to this monster. She started going through the plans in her head, deciding what was too dangerous, impossible, or unlikely to help their current situation. 

“Queen!” Skull shouts over the sound of Kaneshiro charging his piggy bank, “Let’s try the attack!” 

“What? We can’t! We’ve never tried it before. We don’t even know if it works yet!” Queen had briefly considered the idea, but since it was never tested, she had no idea if it would help or hurt the situation. 

“We don’t really got a choice right now.” Even through his skull mask, Queen could tell he was also terrified of losing his friends. She sighed and looked at Kaneshiro. She knew they were running out of time, but he was right. There was nothing else they could do right now that would help the situation. They had to act. 

“Here it comes!” She yelled, changing her stance and preparing for the attack. Skull didn’t have a chance to even reconsider the option, but he was pumped to attack. 

“I’m ready whenever you are!” He charged up his own attack. “Time to get a little crazy!” 

“Stay focused,” She said, elbowing him before she ran towards Kaneshiro. Skull followed behind, watching her kick Kaneshiro directly in the stomach. He jumped up, and slammed back down with his weapon. After landing, he hit Kaneshiro in the face, causing him to move a few steps back. 

“Go for it!” He yelled. She mentally prepared herself before punching harder and faster than she ever had before. He watched back, not able to see her hands themselves. She ended it with one final blow, and he flew against the wall. The stone shattered and cracks appeared all around him. He wasn’t dead, but he also wasn’t moving. She could see his body move lightly to breathe, but besides that, he was down. They had won. 

“Holy shit.” She whispered. Queen normally didn’t curse, but it slipped out of her. The two stood next to each other for a moment before Skull jumped out and cried out in celebration. He couldn’t believe his idea worked, and that they won with it. The others ran up to them. 

“Oh my god what was that? That was awesome!” exclaimed Panther, hugging Queen from the side. Suddenly, the building shook. 

“We need to get out of here, now.” Joker said calmly, pushing his team to run forward. The group ran as fast as they could to get out of the palace, passing by the few landmarks they established along the way. While Queen was excited she had finally brought down Kaneshiro, she still felt nervous about what came next. If this didn’t work, she didn’t know what to do. Three million yen was a lot, and even if she worked for the rest of her life, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be free of the debt. But for now, she couldn’t think about that. She had to think about escaping the palace before it came crashing on her. 

\--

Akira: Great job team.  
Ann: Shout out to Makoto and Ryuji for that killer move at the end! What even was that?  
Makoto: Ryuji had an idea for a tag-team attack. We talked about it prior to meeting at the hideout today.  
Ann: Well it was awesome!  
Yusuke: Yes, I was impressed with the speed and agility you both showed.  
Ryuji: Thanks guys. But I’m effin TIRED after that shit.  
Makoto: Language.  
Ryuji: Says the one who said holy shit after we finished.  
Yusuke: Please don’t start. We’ve all seen enough fighting for one day.  
Akira: Rest easy, everyone. We’ll meet again next week. 

Ryuji put his phone down on his nightstand. He laid on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He was excited his plan worked, but he was exhausted after that attack in the palace. It was easy jumping around and punching stuff in the metaverse, but when it came to reality, there was only so much his body could handle. Normally, he was fine after a trip but with a move like that, he had to get used to it. He had an ice-pack on his right arm and had taken pain killers an hour beforehand. All he could do now was wait for it to pass. 

Suddenly, his phone buzzed. He groaned, not in the mood to answer it. When it buzzed again, he decided to check. He saw he had two text messages from Makoto, separate from their group chat. _Oh, it’s Makoto. Wasn’t she mad at me like a minute ago? What does she want?_ He unlocked his phone to read the messages. 

Makoto: Thank you for coming up to me with your idea. Everything went according to plan.  
Makoto: I hope you’re willing to do it again in the future. 

He smiled. She could be annoying, but hearing her praise his idea like that reassured him he did have good ideas sometimes. But she did just scold him...

Ryuji: Weren’t ya just about to lecture me about cussing?  
Makoto: Yes, but I can still show my appreciation.  
Makoto: If you’d prefer to not do the attack again in the future, you can tell me now.  
Ryuji: No way, we gotta do that again!  
Makoto: I’m glad we can agree on something.  
Makoto: Just like how we agreed to meet after school on Monday to start your studying session. Bring your textbooks, please.  
Ryuji: UGHHHHH why’d you have to remind me about that?  
Makoto: Sleep well Ryuji. I’ll talk to you then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First deal! Thanks for the positive reception so far. Btw I know the showtime attack isn't the same as it normally is in boss fights, I realized it after I wrote it lol.
> 
> Also I name my chapters after songs from my playlists (is that basic lol) but it usually ends up being whatever song I listened to while writing it unless it just straight up doesn't make sense.


	3. Pacing

“So if angle C is 28 degrees, and angles A and D are 88 degrees, what is the angle of B and E?” Makoto asks. Ryuji and Makoto were studying in the student council room after school. She originally planned the library but figured the last thing she needed was hearing other students whisper about the odd pair. Their meeting was innocent enough, but if she knew anything about the student body, they loved to blow things out of proportion. It did, however, require them to wait half an hour for the school to empty out so fewer people would see him entering the student council room. 

“Uh…” Ryuji mumbled. Math was one of his weakest subjects, and that was saying something considering his grades. He tried writing the math as Makoto suggested, but he kept hitting some type of roadblock. “I’m stuck, I don’t know.” 

“Let me see your work,” She asks, holding her hand out to take his paper. He hesitates for a moment before he passes his paper to her. She looks over it, scribbling notes in the margins for him to use later. “You were almost there. Look at my suggestions, and see if you can get it.” He looks over her notes. It helped fill the gaps he was missing when he tried to figure it out. Going further down, his paper, he starts the question over again. This time, he has an answer. 

“Uh… 64 degrees?” He says, unsure of himself. She just looks at him with her eyebrows raised. “Um, yeah 64 degrees.”

“Yes! Great job. See? You can do this, you just need to apply yourself a little more.” They continue to study for half an hour before Ryuji starts to feel himself getting more and more distracted. School can only hold his attention for so long, and while Makoto made it easier for him, he still could only focus on academia for so long. At first, Makoto didn't notice. As he took longer and longer to answer questions, she took note. She figured his limit was an hour before he began to struggle again. She sighed, opting to cut him off in the middle of a question instead of having him finish it. 

"I get it with you, but I'm fried," He said, "Can we work out now?" 

"Sure, I've brought my gym clothes in my bag. I'm ready for whatever you have planned." She starts to collect her belongings. She watches as he starts to shove things in his bag. "Quick note: please refrain from shoving the notes in your bag. You might need it again in the future." 

He rolls his eyes and follows her lead. They pack their belongings and leave the school. Heading to the train station, Ryuji attempts to retain the information he learned. He wasn't excited to do it, but knew if he was spending an hour a day for the next two weeks on one topic, he may as well try to remember. As a result, the walk to the train station is relatively quiet. Makoto doesn't mind the silence, choosing to think about tomorrow's study session instead. She had a general idea of what he was learning based on her second-year note. After looking at his mess he called 'note taking,' she was grateful she had her own note to reflect on. 

They took the train to Shibuya, going through bustling Central Street. Makoto had an idea where Ryuji was leading them, but wasn't sure of the gyms in this area. She had learned akido from a gym a few blocks away, also in Shibuya, but knew it wasn't the same one based on their path. Instead, Ryuji turned on a small side street. 

"This is where I come cuz you don't gotta pay that monthly fee stuff like other gyms." Ryuji says, holding the door open. Makoto walks inside and pays her fee at the door. She looks around at all the machines inside. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but it was drastically different from her own gym. There was little space for sparing and most of the machines used weights. In the corner, there was a whole row of weight benches, half of which were used at the time. To make matters worse, she was fairly certain she was the only woman here. _Okay, it's fine. No one will judge you for it_ , she thought to herself. 

"So what first?"

"Well, we gotta get changed. Here, I'll show you." He walks them over towards the weight benches before making a sharp left towards an unmarked hallway. It's a short walk, but at the end there's two doors. Makoto walks into the locker room, picking the locker closest to the exit. She changes into black shorts and a gray tank top. From her bag, she grabs a red headband. Next to the door, she sees a mirror. She adjusts the headband in the mirror to keep most of her hair, opting to keep her bangs in the front. 

When she comes out, she's Ryuji in his school gym uniform. He's already stretching on the mats. Makoto walks over to him, doing her own stretches. She's surprised he hasn't addressed her, but she knows how to prepare her muscles for an intense workout. 

"We're not gonna do a lot of trainin' today. I gotta see where you're at first." He says, bringing himself up from the mat. "Have you used a weight bench before?"

"I don't think I have." 

"This should be interestin' then. Lay down on that bench over there, I got the weights." Ryuji points to a bench at the end of the row. There's no one on the bench next to it. She sits down on the edge of the bench, watching Ryuji select from a rack of weights. There are various sizes, some Makoto assumed weighed more than she did. He picks six small ones and walks back over. 

"You make it look easy." Makoto jokes. 

"Heh, it's not that bad honestly. They're 5 kilograms each. I can bench way more than that." 

"Hopefully I'll get there myself." She lays on her back, looking up at the metal bar. When she grabs it, she feels a small electric shock. When the immediate shock passes, she's able to feel the cold and texture from the bar itself. She turns her head to see Ryuji placing one of the weights on one side before going over to the other. 

"This should weigh around 15-20 kilograms. I don't think this'll be too bad. Here's how you do it so ya don't get hurt…" Ryuji explains the safest way to lift the bench. He wasn't the best explainer, but Makoto understood enough to put it together without hurting herself. After several minutes of trial and error, she learned she was about to lift roughly 30 kilograms without straining herself. She completed her first set, feeling optimistic. 

"That was doable. How many sets do you normally do?" Makoto asked, sitting up to face him. 

"Like three, I'm not trying to get jacked. I just wanna be fit." 

"Understandable. I'll also go for three." She lays back down and finishes the last two sets she has. For the rest of their visit, Ryuji and Makoto go around the gym. They focus on different strength exercises, and she feels the slight burn in her muscles as time goes on. After an hour of working out, she's exhausted and ready for a shower. Ryuji, on the other hand, is noticeably relaxed. 

"You'll get used to it," He promises. "ya probably need a shower." She nods, and heads into the locker room. Ryuji starts cleaning the last piece of equipment they used before heading in to shower as well. He grabs a change of clothes and let's his mind wander. 

All things considered, he was surprised to have enjoyed his time with Makoto. He hated studying, but if it always led to working out and getting the stress out, he figured he could do it more often. _Eh, kinda lookin' forward to tomorrow._

He finishes his quick shower and changes into a yellow graphic t-shirt and black jeans. He looks in the mirror, drying his hair with his towel. His recently bleach blond hair was manageable for him, especially since it's in the one thing he tried to take care often. When he's content with his hair, he packs up the last of belongings and heads out the door. He sees Makoto near the exit, seemingly waiting for him. 

"Think you can keep up?" He laughs, catching her attention. 

"Overtime, definitely. But I'll need some training to get there. I'm sure the next few weeks will be an enlightening experience." She holds the door open, and the two walk out of the gym. 

"Hey, before you head out, can I ask ya something?" Ryuji says quickly, as if trying to stop her from going on. 

"Sure, if you'd like we can pass by the convenience store across the street. I would like to pay you back after treating me to bread the other day as well." He nods, and the two go on. They enter the cool building, each grabbing a soda of their choice. Makoto pays, and they walk back outside. They don't go very far, deciding to sit on a bench near the train station. 

He wasn't really trying to get her to pay him back, but he's had something on his mind for the last few days. Ever since they pulled off their team attack, Ryuji was already scheming of what came next. He could've just stopped with the one attack, but he had an idea too good to not use. At least, he figured he did. Since he knew he could talk to her already about his weird attack ideas, he wasn't as embarrassed to talk about this new one. 

"Aight, so I got this other team attack idea. I don't know who to ask yet, which is what I wanted to ask you." He pops open his soda and takes a long sip. 

"What brought upon the idea this time? Another video game?" 

"What can I say, it's giving me awesome ideas." He smiles, before getting a little more serious. "Don't laugh when I tell you my idea, k?" 

Makoto turned to him. "Did I laugh last time you told me an idea? Your idea saved us in Kaneshiro's palace. I think any idea of yours is welcome right now." She was caught off guard by his lack of confidence around her. Was he always this conflicted, or did he not trust her enough yet? 

"Oh… Thanks, Makoto. Uh, anyway, here's what I'm thinkin' this time." He breaks down his new idea for a complex team attack. It's as outrageous as his last one, but based on the success of his last attack, Makoto has faith in it. She didn't think she'd be into the idea, but someone came to mind as soon as he finished explaining it. 

"Have you run this by Yusuke?" He chokes on his drink after he hears her question. 

"How'd you know that's who I was thinkin'?" He says, coughing in between some words. He catches his breath before going on. "But I dunno honestly, he can be kinda uppity sometimes. Ain't he gonna think this is beneath him or somethin'?" 

"If he does, it's his loss." Makoto chugs the last of her drink before tossing the bottle in a bin next to their bench. "But I think he'll see it as an excellent idea." 

“Well, if you think it's good it's gotta be worth going for.” He scratches the back of his head and gives her a thumbs up. There’s a short silence between them. 

“I should get going. Same time tomorrow?”

“Yeah, totally!”

\--

Over the next two weeks, Makoto and Ryuji met nearly every day. They always started out with studying. Although at times, studying didn’t last very long. Ryuji’s patience wore thin closer to the weekend. Even Makoto did her best to real him in, she could only do so much. Still, she was happy to help him study, even if it was for only half an hour. She was sure some people started to notice Ryuji entering the student council room on a near-daily basis. After all, one visit wasn’t suspicious, but consistently? She knew that was a different story. She tried not to let it bother her since no one was really around the school at that time, but she did overhear two second-years talking about Ryuji entering late in the day. 

_Oooo what do you think he’s doing in there?_

_I don’t know! Do you think Makoto knows?_

_What if she’s the one inviting him?_

Thankfully, that conversation happened two days prior to exams. If any rumor were to spread, it would fizzle out before the start of the next semester. Still, the thought of yet another misleading rumor nagged Makoto. She did her best as the student council president to lead by example, but she was still quite unpopular. Nevertheless, she had found people she cared about in the Phantom Thieves. They were friends she knew she could rely on, and that meant helping each other out with things they struggled in, such as exam taking.

During their final meeting, Makoto gave Ryuji a mock exam. 

“What’s this?” He asked, looking at the thicker-than-normal packet. 

“You’re going to have an hour to complete as much as you can of this mock exam. I know you’ve lost your patience the longer we’ve done this, but you can’t give up now that you’re so close.” 

“What? I can’t take this test!” 

“Yes, you can. You’ve worked hard for it. What if I decided to go home after this instead of working out with you? Or didn’t try as hard as a Phantom Thief anymore? Wouldn’t you think you worked with me for no outcome?” He pressed his lips together and pulled a pencil out of his pocket. 

“I guess, I hate this studyin’ shit though.” He mumbles

“I’m surprised you’ve made it this far at all.” She smiles, tapping away on her phone to set a timer. “Your time starts now.”

His eyes get wide, and he looks down at the test. Makoto spends most of the hour going over her own notes. She knew all of the material already, but it didn’t hurt for her to set a good example for Ryuji. Looking over at him taking his exam, she considered how much she’s gotten to know him since she joined the Phantom Thieves. He was still the troublemaker she expected him to be, but he also had a big heart. He was more nervous than she expected, something she saw whenever he asked her for advice, and even now taking the exam, his hand had a slight tremble. She wasn’t sure why he was anxious, but she’d hope his result would ease some of the stress. When her phone went off, he slapped the pencil on the table and yelled. 

“Ryuji! Someone might hear you!” She shushes him. He stops, and leans back in his chair. It seemed like he was holding his breath the entire time. She takes his exam and starts to look over it. He didn’t finish the last third of it, but she didn’t expect him to finish. She knew he would have more time to do the work, but she was impressed with his results. She pulls out a pen and starts grading him. Noticeably, she doesn’t write many notes in the margin. 

“So uhh, how’d I do?” 

“Omitting the questions you didn’t get to, you got a 80. Congratulations -”

“NO WAY!” He shouts and grabs the paper, looking through his answers. “Man that’s awesome!” 

“You still missed a few, so I’m not sure how you’ve done on those, but I’m impressed with your progress. I think you’ll pass your exams.”

“I know I give ya alotta shit sometimes, but thanks.” He says with a half smile. 

“Now, I suppose we have some exercising to do, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday!  
> Soooo for someone who is still semi-new to the fandom fanfiction wise, what is RyukotoWeek2020 and can someone tell me about it :o


	4. Stronger

After several days of intense test-taking, the team was ready for the Fireworks Festival. They all agreed to meet at the train station, and the first two to arrive were Yusuke and Ryuji. While Ryuji had only come in a tank top and shorts, Yusuke had a full traditional yukata on. 

“Dude, how can you wear that? It’s so effing hot!” He complained about the heat, squatting down closer to the ground. He fanned himself with his hand, hoping to feel somewhat cooler.

“It’s nice to wear traditional outfits, and this is the ideal occasion for it.” He pulls a fan out from his sleeve and also begins to fan himself. Ryuji looks up at him, confused about how he managed to keep the fan in his sleeve without it falling out. “Why aren’t you dressed up?”

“I don’t got clothes like yukata, too expensive.” He said a matter of factly. His mother was always working to make ends meet. The last thing he wanted to trouble her with was with buying an expensive outfit he could only wear a few times a year. So, he was stuck in his usual clothes. 

“Ryuji - I have a favor to ask you,” Yusuke asked. Ryuji perked up. 

“A favor? Sure, you need some money for food or somethin’ -” 

“Not this time. I’ve actually been mulling over a new battle tactic for a while now. And I’d like for you to lend a hand in bringing this idea to fruition.” Ryuji couldn’t believe his ears. Yusuke wanted to create a team attack with him? He was already thinking about it himself, after talking things through with Makoto. Maybe she was right after all...

“Dudeee, I was gonna ask you the same thing!” Ryuji spilled out. He didn’t expect Yusuke to want a team attack with him as well. The two mull over their own respective ideas. Surprisingly, their ideas work well together. They play on each other’s ideas, working it until they’re both excited about their attack. They know they’ll have to wait until Mementos to try it out, but it’s still something amazing to look forward to. 

“We should consult Jose about this soon.”

“And then all we gotta do is see how the star reacts to the idea, right?” 

“Correct. However, I can feel my appetite growing after discussing the idea.” 

“Same here… Ugh, where is everyone? I wanna eat some food!” Ryuji complained. A few minutes later, Akira arrived with Morgana. He waved, standing next to his friends. Coming in his normal clothes, Akira didn’t consider bringing his own yukata from home when moving to Tokyo. 

“Nice yukata, Yusuke.” Akira compliments him. Morgana, sticking his head out of the bag to eye the outfit.

“Man, you look way too normal in that,” Ryuji says. 

“I get that a lot,” He laughs. 

“Ah, by the way, the exams…” Ryuji says, trailing off at the end. He had done well, at least he thought he did. He had to have done well, Makoto spent so much time with him for him not to have done well...Right? 

“I bet you got a big fat F on them!” Morgana points out, smiling before ducking back into the bag.

“Shuddup! We-we don’t know that yet.” In the distance, he saw two girls in yukatas pass by. “Daaang, they look really hot.” 

“Then why don’t you go after them?” Ann angrily exclaimed as she and Makoto walked towards them. They had their own yukatas on, with Ann wearing a bright blue-spotted yukata and Makoto in a white one with red flowers. 

“So those are the types of girls you like, Ryuji.” Makoto said, elbowing his arm. 

“Uh, well… that’s, um…” He stutters. He would never admit it to her face, but he thought she looked great in her outfit. He wasn’t sure exactly who his ‘type’ was honestly. He’d never had a girlfriend before, much less kiss someone. _Wait, what am I doin’?_ He thought to himself. He had stopped listening to the others, only brought back when he heard Morgana -

“Did you hear?” Morgana grinned, popping out again from Akira's bag. “Ryuji pretty much failed his exams.” Ryuji turned sheet-white, avoiding eye contact with her.

“Oh?” Makoto looked angry. 

“Mona you little -” 

“We should get going,” Ann said, cutting the tension. Everyone followed their lead. Ryuji started walking forward but felt a pull on the back of his shirt. He flipped himself around, face to face with Makoto. Letting go of the back of his shirt, she put one hand on her hips and the other grabbing the front of his shirt. He’s gotten physically close to her at times because of their workouts, but not like this. 

“Would you like to explain?” Makoto asked in an annoyed tone. _All the work we put in…_ She thought. All she was looking for was for him to do better on his exam. He didn’t need an A, but she wanted him to see passing school could be worthwhile if he applied himself.

“Mona jumped the gun, that’s all.” Ryuji looked all around her, still refusing to make eye contact with her. “I don’t know my grade yet… But I’m pretty sure he’s wrong.” 

“Really?” Her eyes softened. She let go of his shirt, putting her hands back down at her side. “I’m sorry I overreacted. I was worried you’d thrown all your hard work down the drain.”

“No ma’am, I was nervous and shit takin’ it, but I felt… i dunno, I guess okay for once. It’s weird, I dunno the word for it.” 

“Confidence. Something I’m fairly certain you needed more of after hearing you put yourself down so much. Come on, we may not know your score yet, but we can still have fun at the festival.” Makoto grinned and started walking to catch up with the others. He felt better after talking to her, although he’d hope she’d quickly forget his previous statement towards the other two girls from earlier. The two caught up to their friends and went to catch the next train to their destination. 

When they arrived, they realized how late they’d come. The streets were filled with people of all ages. It was hard to move through without touching someone’s shoulders. Akira, calm as always, moved through the crowd gracefully, making a path for the others. Filing through, Makoto held grabbed part of her yukata to ensures others didn’t step on it. Like others, she rarely wore it. Even worse, if something smudges on her outfit, the white would require a pricy dry cleaning. It was a little out of her comfort zone, but she was happy to see Ann and Yusuke in their own. 

When the group reached an ideal spot, they looked up at the fireworks. Despite the buildings blocking part of the view, the fireworks were still bright and colorful. As loud as the crowd was around them, the bangs of the fireworks were louder. Makoto took a break from looking up to see the people around her. She could see a father with a young child, propped up on his shoulders. A similar group of friends to them, but they were likely a group of first-year students based on how young they looked. Not too far from them, she saw a couple embraced. The man held her from behind, with his arms wrapped around her. 

“Aw man!” Ann exclaimed. Makoto turned to face her friend, touching her face. “I think I just felt a raindrop.” Makoto looked back up and felt a drop on her face as well. 

“Let’s go,” Akira said, starting his descent into the crowd. The group did their best to get through and narrowly made it into a small convenience store before the rain began pouring. They stood in front of the window, looking out at the crowd before them attempting to scatter. Makoto lost track of the people she saw earlier but caught a glance of the last couple she saw. The two were soaked in the rain but seemed happy to be with each other. As she saw them run, she caught a glimpse of someone she recognized. 

“Hey Makoto, what’s up?” Ann asked her. Makoto kept her eyes on her, seeing two other men helping her into a car. 

“Mm, I think I just saw someone I know.” Ann looked out the window, seeing the top of a girl’s head. She had orange hair but didn’t know anyone with that look. 

“You mean that girl in the black car?” Makoto nods. 

“Well, she’s got a ride… must be nice. How are we supposed to get back to the station without getting soaked?” Ryuji asked the group, but not anyone specifically. Yusuke fiddled with the belt of his yukata, pulling out an umbrella. 

“This may cover two of us.” He said calmly. Everyone stared at him. “What? Is there something wrong?”

“Uh, where did you pull that from?” Makoto asked, pointing to the umbrella. 

“My yukata, of course. Ann, care to walk with me?” Yusuke asked, heading towards the door. 

“Anything to beat the rain. See you guys later!” Ann happily exclaimed. Yusuke opened his umbrella, and the two walked off. Ryuji looked at Akira, who seemed mildly annoyed

“I’m heading out too,” Akira said. 

“Hey wait!” Morgana said, trying to protest. It was no avail, as Akira swiftly left the convenience store. He waved to Makoto and Ryuji from the window before running off. 

“What was that all about? That wasn’t like him at all.” Makoto asked Ryuji. 

He shrugged, “I think he’s got a thing for Ann but he hasn’t told me anything yet. He’s gotta be a little jealous.” Makoto wasn’t too surprised. After all, they had known each other for a few months already, and up until Makoto joined, Ann was the only girl in the group. She figured his feelings might’ve developed at some point, but she wasn’t sure. It didn’t bother her either way. She thought Akira was cute, but she didn’t see him as more than a good friend and their leader. 

“I see, I wonder how Ann feels about the situation.”

“Pfft, have you seen Ann? She’s got it bad.” Ryuji laughed. “I think she just doesn’t wanna make the first move.” He wasn’t sure what to say next. It was a weird conversation for them to have, especially since Ryuji had seen Ann and Akira from the beginning. He tried not to pay attention to it, but recently, he’d seen them staring at each other a lot. Yeah, he looked at Ann too, but Akira had a different look on his face. Almost like all he wanted to do was spend time with her. But what did he know? 

“By the way, have you had a chance to talk to Yusuke about your idea?” Makoto asked. 

“Oh, I was gonna tell you before you tried to kill me earlier.” She winced at the reminder. “But anyway, turns out, he wanted to do an attack too. So we talked about it, combined ideas, and next time we go to Mementos, we’re gonna try it out.”

“That’s great, I knew he was supportive.” 

“Why do you believe in me so much anyways?” He blurted out. It had been bothering him for some time now. Makoto seemingly had a lot of faith in him, he just couldn’t figure out why. 

“Well,” She had a feeling he was going to ask her at some point. “We’ve seen each other almost every day the last few weeks. I see that you have potential, and I don’t mean that solely in academics. You’re a great guy, Ryuji, and it seems like at times you need the reminder.” 

He stayed silent, looking back out the window. He didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t that. It was weird hearing something positive about him come from someone else, especially someone like Makoto. With everything she had going for her, Ryuji was sure she had her life together. And yet, he still wasn’t sure about what was next. 

“So does this mean the deal’s done now that I took the test?” Ryuji asked. Makoto shook her head. 

“Not quite. We may be done with our studies for a few weeks, but we’re not done working. If I’m staying with the team, I need to get stronger. I know I’ve made a lot of progress, but I want to keep up with you one day.” Makoto loved working out. Aikido was a great way for her to learn self-defense in an emergency, but she also wanted to feel strong. In the short time she had started joining Ryuji, she could see a difference in herself. In the handful of times, they’d gone to Mementos since starting their deal, she felt better and better each visit. 

“Sounds good to me!” He was pumped he’d still have someone else around when working out. Before Makoto, he was going by himself. Sure, he was fine on his own, but it’s always better having someone there. Outside, the rain was starting to let up. While they knew they couldn’t avoid it, he figured they could take advantage of it. “We should head out. You gonna be okay?” He said, referring to her yukata. 

“Yeah, a little rain won’t hurt me.” The two head out of the convenience store, heading back home. A few days later, Makoto receives an excited text from Ryuji, with a slightly higher test score than his practice exam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I kept racking my brain on what to post for Ryukoto week, but I'm shit at one shots so nothing ever came out of it. So instead, I figured I'd post another chapter this week. I'm still posting on Mondays, but I wanted to make a special exception this week :)


	5. Breezeblocks

After the fireworks festival, it was full steam ahead for the Phantom Thieves. An unknown force, Medjed, had threatened their identities. Following days of investigation and an encounter with ‘Alibaba’, they knew their next target: Futaba Sakura, Sojiro’s adopted daughter. It was shocking, to say the least. They never knew Sojiro had a daughter, especially after making the terrible assumptions prior. It was somewhat of a relief for Ryuji. Sojiro was a good guy after all, but after hearing about Futaba, it made him sick to his stomach. He couldn’t imagine losing his own mother to suicide, and for Futuba to see it herself, well… it made everything so much worse.

The first time they entered her palace, it was a punch in the gut. Every time they go in, it’s Akira’s goal to make it as far as possible. It makes it easier for them in the long run to get a good idea of what to expect in the palace. At the very least, they were getting their steps in with all the stairs they kept climbing. Normally, going as far as they can as a strategy was somewhat effective, and they’d get about halfway before needing to turn around due to low supplies or exhaustion. However, the puzzles were troubling them, and the shadows were intense. 

For Queen, she normally found the palace puzzles easy. In Kaneshiro’s, his so-called ‘roadblocks’ were a breeze for her. Futaba’s palace was on a whole new level for her. She was interested in all the puzzles, but over time, she found herself thinking more than she expected. When they had to move the gem, it took her longer than she’d care to admit in finding its rightful place. The shadows were tougher, but she felt like she could hold her own. She knew, however, if she was stuck behind and was ambushed like in Kaneshiro’s palace, the situation may appear direr. So when Joker announced they were going to return tomorrow for another shot at securing a full route, she was excited about the much-needed break. 

The next day, the Phantom Thieves were quick to retrace their steps. Queen was on the starting lineup, which meant she'd likely be on standby in the second half of her trip. Surprisingly to her, she found that she'd likely be with Skull again. She had no problem with it, but it seemed like Joker was setting up his growing team in a specific manner. Her suspicions were confirmed in the safe room after she was pushed to standby with Skull. She didn't question it in front of everyone, choosing to wait until almost everyone lingered out to pull him aside. 

"What's your strategy behind typically putting Skull and me together?" Queen asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention on their way out. 

"Hm? Oh, you two work well together. Your abilities compliment each other as well. It's also why I rotate Panther, Fox, and Mona. So, I like keeping you two together." Joker said. She had noticed they seemed to power each other up better than she would with the others. 

"I see. Thank you, Joker." She smiled and waved him off. Skull, sitting back with his legs propped up on the table, had heard bits and pieces of it. It didn’t necessarily make him feel bad to have her question it. In fact, he was wondering the same thing. Joker’s reasoning made sense though; anytime she was on the team, he could guarantee at least one shocked enemy thanks to her persona’s trait. He balanced himself to sit up and leave the room as well. 

"Wow, sick of me already?" He joked. "Bout time, must be a new record." 

"Ha ha," Queen responded dryly. "Let's go, I don't want us falling behind." 

Like in Kaneshiro's palace, they stay close to the team. Most of the time, the team in front does well enough. Towards the end of the palace, the team hit a particularly hard shadow. Fox said the magic words, and Skull was ready for action. Skull, wearing a bright smile, sprang into position for their team attack. The two pulled out their guns and got to work on the shadow, effectively bringing them down. They celebrated with a simple elbow bump before Skull went back on standby and the team carried on. 

Makoto had only seen their attack a handful of times, but each time, she was fascinated. She was intrigued by the other attacks as well, but there was something satisfying about seeing a shadow brought down so easily with bullets. 

"Did I ever tell you that your team attack with Yusuke is fascinating?" 

"Whatcha mean?" 

"It's so elaborate. I still can't believe you managed to put it together." She says. He's noticeably disappointed. _Oh man, I hope I didn't trigger a nerve._

"Ain't you the one who told me to believe in myself?" He says with a straight tone. Skull knew she was joking, but it was fun nonetheless to mess with her. 

"I was kidding!" She says seriously, before coming looking at his face and coming to the realization. "Oh, you're messing with me again aren't you?" She sighed.

"Works every time" He smiled. Skull wouldn't admit it, but he enjoyed spending time with her. She was fun to mess with and easy to talk to. Even more so, he actually was starting to enjoy studying….sometimes. It was way better with her around, as opposed to doing it on his own.

"Either way, you and Yusuke do a great job with your attack. That's all I wanted to say." She holds her hands up defensively. Seeing the team ahead get into a battle, she moves to hide behind a statue nearby. Skull follows and sits next to her, choosing to act as the lookout. 

"But uh, thanks again, really." He says. He's quiet for a moment before remembering his exam grades. "Shoot, we should celebrate my grade!" 

"I agree. Do you have plans after this?" 

"Not really, I'm down. Joker pulled us out pretty early too, so I'm still - ha! Mona got knocked down." Queen moved to get a better view over his shoulder. Mona was on the ground but quickly got back up. As small as he was, he was always quick to bounce back up. She looked over at Skull, who was still snickering 

"Please don't make me change my mind." 

"Heh - sorry. But ya wanna get dinner at the diner then? My treat." 

"Sounds like you're asking me out on a date." Skull was glad he was wearing a mask because he felt his face burning. It had to be Queen talking because the Makoto he knew would never make such a bold statement. Based on her silence afterward, he figured she knew. 

"Uhh… we should get going." He ran on ahead, not sure what else to say. Queen was also left a little confused. Even he had to have known she was joking… 

They spoke little after that, only really addressing each other when needed or to warn of an incoming shadow. Skull didn’t know why he got so nervous with her comment. Sure, she was probably joking, but he didn’t think of it as a joke at first. 

The rest of the palace is a breeze compared to the first half. While the last puzzle is somewhat tricky, Queen comes out of standby to assist. From there, it's not long before they see their goal: the door to Futuba's treasure. It requires a calling card from here on, but it's nothing they couldn't handle. 

\--

"So tomorrow we'll send the calling card. Be at the hideout by 2. Any questions?" Akira said at the end of their meeting. After returning from the palace, the group decided the best way to send a calling card. They had no idea what to expect with Futaba as a palace ruler based on her eccentric behavior, but they had to be over-prepared. As a result, Makoto ended up on drink duty, aka, buying all the necessary drinks and foods needed in the palace if they needed emergency healing. With no questions, everyone started to go their separate ways, however, Ryuji cleared his throat, causing Makoto to turn around. 

"You still wanna celebrate?" He asked. Makoto was surprised. She was sure he would've changed his mind after her comment in the palace. 

"Sure, I'm surprised you're still okay with getting dinner." They started walking in the same direction, opposite from their friends. 

"Ah well, I mean I didn't expect it. But it's all good." He smiled, giving her a thumbs up. "Anyway, you sure you still wanna go? I know you got drink duty." 

She looked down at the list in front of her. She had noted down every item the group typically needed, and after these last few days, their supply had greatly dwindled. 

"Before we go, I could use some help buying everything, it's a lot to carry. There's a little shop near the train platform that has almost everything we need. Can you help me?" 

"Yeah I gotcha. Besides, we just missed the train so we're stuck here for like 20 minutes." He says, checking the time on his phone. They walk through the bustling station to the little shop. With summer in full swing, the station was busier than ever. It worked as a great cover for the Phantom Thieves, but they were also worried about someone overhearing them right before leaving and returning from the metaverse. 

Stepping into the shop, Makoto picks up a small basket near the door. She goes straight for the drinks, picking out multiple cans. When it starts to pile, she hands the basket over to Ryuji. 

"Now that I think about it, shouldn't you be carryin' this? Didn't you want to get stronger?" 

"I mean," she tosses a few more cans in the basket before going over the food area. "We did just come back. I'm not looking to get stronger right now. Besides, you did agree to help me." 

Makoto takes some items off the shelf and stuffs it into the nearly-overflowing basket. She's marked off almost every item, outside of a few high-price items. She waves Ryuji over to the cashier, where they pay for the items. When leaving, they both grab two bags each. It's a short walk back to their platform, where they have no time to sit and relax. Immediately upon arrival, their train pulls in. They sit next to each other on the train, placing the bags at their feet. 

"Jeez, do we really use this much stuff? This is effin' heavy." 

"It doesn't seem like it, but yes. I've been keeping track of our usage over the last few weeks. If we buy multiples of the same item, it means we use it and likely need it for battle." 

"Yeah, yeah I get that. Don't make it any less heavy." He fiddles with the strap on his backpack, which sits on his lap. He looked up at her, feeling a weird sensation at the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t quite nausea, but he couldn’t decide what it was. "You wanna just wait to celebrate until after we send this calling card?" 

"Hm? If this is about earlier, I'm sorry - "

"No, it ain't that. I just - I dunno, I don't feel so good now." Makoto bends down and reaches into the bag. She looks through before pulling out a ginger soda for him. 

"Here, if it’s nausea, this might help. Take it, I can always replace it tomorrow morning." She hands it to him. Ryuji looks down at the can, opening it with a simple flick and takes a sip. He looks down at the soda, thinking about Makoto. He wanted to change the topic, talk about something he was comfortable with.

“You got stronger.” He says, taking another drink out of the can. 

“Is it that noticeable already?” She asked. While she had noticed a difference, she wasn’t sure if anyone else could see it. 

“I mean, yeah. You still gotta get stronger, but I see it when you fight.” He looks up at the digital screen, seeing his stop coming up. “Hey uh, do you need help bringing these to your house? Or I can take some with me?” 

“If you don’t mind, it’d be easier if you took the two bags you carried back home.” Ryuji stood up, grabbed the bags, and started walking towards the door. The train came to a slow stop, and the doors opened. He waved and gave her a big smile before walking off. He felt better getting away from her, and at the same time, he was discouraged to leave so soon. 

_it's probably nothing..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny enough, I finally beat Futaba's palace in Royal over the weekend so this chapter comes out at a good time. Thankfully since I beat the original game it doesn't impact me too much to not have finished Royal yet :)


	6. Explosions

Futaba’s final battle was no joke. From seeing Futaba gain a persona in her own palace, to dealing with a cognitive Wakaba, it was stressful for everyone. Even with everyone doing their respective team attacks at different points, it took time and patience to bring her down. Queen wondered if they would have succeeded without Futaba’s help. She never truly attacked, but she provided guidance in establishing the next steps. Joker was cool and calm as always, something she admired while she panicked internally. Even when the entire team was on their knees, he usually stood up tall. Maybe the others saw her the same way since she never showed when she was nervous. Then again, she was on the same level as the rest of the team. 

But Wakaba was a whole other beast, literally. 

Every time she came and pushed down the team, Queen felt pushed to her limits. When she saw her own healing powers begin to falter with time, she had no choice but to use the items. Over time, the same happened with Mona and Panther. So when Skull hit the final blow against Wakaba and brought her down, it was the first time she felt like she could breathe since they started the fight. It was a short-lived celebration, as they felt the pyramid beneath them come crashing down. The team started running down the side, feeling the pressure of a collapsing building behind them. Near the bottom, Panther threw Mona to the ground and he changed himself into a car. As everyone fell inside the car, Queen knew there was no time to waste. 

She jumped into the driver’s seat and slammed on the gas. It was the fastest she had gone in the van since she took over driving from Joker. Driving fast was hard enough, and with the added challenge of avoiding the debris, it took all her attention to get the group safely away from the pyramid until she heard the sweet sounds of reality again. That, unfortunately, was also short lived. Their one hope in taking down Medjed was fast asleep, and it was unclear when she would wake up. 

“Is everyone okay?” Makoto asked, looking at the team, and everyone nodded. “Akira? What’s next?” 

“We’ve done everything we could. From now on, we have to be patient with Futaba.” Akira said calmly. 

“We can’t wake her up?” Ryuji asked, annoyed with the situation. Akira shook his head. The group returned to reality, all shaken up after the fight. They knew the effects wouldn’t be immediate, especially with Futuaba’s… unique circumstances. However, all they could do was wait and hope it would pass. If not, they were up against yet another problem. It seemed whenever they sent a calling card, there was always something over their head. While it wasn’t three million yen, it was essentially the end of the Phantom Thieves. 

“I know it’s hard to wait, but we need to give her time. In the meantime,” Akira grabbed his backpack from the ground, “It’s business as usual. I’ll text everyone as soon as anything changes. If anyone wants coffee, I’m making some at LeBlanc.” Ann and Yusuke followed Akira towards the coffee shop. Ryuji decided against going since he wasn’t into coffee like the others. He also wasn’t really in the mood to socialize with the rest of the team after the fight. There was nothing more he hated than being knocked down to his knees like that. He felt a twinge of pain in his bad leg, likely from pushing himself to his own limits. 

“Hey, Ryuji?” Makoto asked Ryuji, stopping him from going to the train station. “You have plans tonight?” 

“Not really, I don’t feel like sitting and watchin’ the others drink coffee.” 

“I have an idea if you’re interested in joining me. I’m also heading towards the train station, so you don’t have to decide immediately.” Makoto said, and the two walked to the train station. 

“You wanna tell me what’s up?” Ryuji asked. He opted to not sit as it was a short ride to Shibuya. He held onto the metal bar, near where Makoto sat with her bag on her lap. 

“Remember how we talked about celebrating your grade? I think I have something a little more interesting than dinner in mind.” She smiled like she had a secret. Inside, she was stressed out. Wakaba had really shaken her up. While a relaxing dinner might’ve been nice, it wasn’t how she wanted to relieve the stress. She had other things in mind. 

“Like what?” He asked. She normally wasn’t this vague, so he wasn’t sure where she was going. It would have to wait a moment, as they arrived at Shibuya station. They hopped off the train, and Makoto waved for Ryuji to follow her. They walked towards the station square, where people were bustling everywhere. It was later in the day, but it was more crowded than normal. 

“Wakaba was the most stressful shadow I feel like I’ve encountered since joining the team. I’m frustrated and annoyed, and I feel like I can’t relax.” She said, not expecting those words to come out. It was what she was thinking inside, but she didn’t think he needed to hear that. 

“Honestly, yeah. She was a whole shit-show.” Ryuji answered. Even with her gained strength, it was reassuring to see her be so upfront with him about what she was thinking. When she was content with their spot, in the middle of a crowd at station square, she turned back around to face him. She took out her phone, preparing the metaverse application. 

“I agree. So… how about instead of a simple dinner, we go and beat up some shadows in Mementos. Nothing difficult of course, we can stay on the top floors so we don’t need to worry about the stronger shadows.” Makoto waved the phone in front of him, and his eyes lit up. 

“That sounds awesome!” He exclaimed, the pain in his leg disappearing from the excitement. She took that as approval and opened the application to start the process. He opened it up not long after her, and before they knew it, they were at Mementos. The team still came to Mementos on occasion, but typically waited until they had multiple jobs to stay as long as possible. They came a few days prior to entering Futaba’s palace for the first time, so she expected this spontaneous trip to go smoothly. 

“Ah we’re gonna have to walk, ain’t we?” Skull asked, scratching his head. Queen hadn’t really considered it, since she normally had Johanna. Skull’s persona, despite having a boat, was not rideable. 

“You know what…” She said, bringing her hand to her chin to think. “I’ve never had anyone else ride Johanna. Would you like to -”

“YES! Ugh, you have no idea how long I’ve been waitin’ for you to ask!” He cut her off, not letting her finish her question. He loved his persona, but from the moment he saw her ride her persona and destroy those shadows at Kaneshiro’s palace, he had been dying to try it out himself. 

Stepping down to the train tracks from the platform, she took off her mask and unleashed her persona. She jumped on, feeling the rumbling from the engine. She scooted up a little, making sure Skull had room to jump on to the back. He eagerly wrapped his legs on the seat but wasn’t sure where to grab. He awkwardly placed his hands at his sides, using his hands to grasp onto the seat. 

“Are you ready to go? I’ll go a little slow at first so you can get the hang of it, okay?” Queen asked him, preparing Skull for the ride. He was excited to try it but was nervous about riding it. As much as he’d wanted to do this, he didn’t think he’d ever get the chance. She revved the engine and moved forward. Immediately, he loses his grip and falls off the back of the bike. He rolled backward, scratching his arm against a train track. When Queen noticed he fell, she braked and put her mask back on. She turned around to see Skull on the floor, grabbing onto his upper arm. It looked like he was wincing. 

“Oh no are you okay?” She ran up to him, kneeling down to where he was sitting. He let go of his arm, showing a torn part of his sleeve and a small set of scratches. She felt the anxiety bubbling up, knowing she was the reason he got hurt. “I’m so sorry, that was so stupid of me. I should’ve known better than -”

“Hey, it’s okay. It ain’t your fault. I still got a bandage roll from earlier.” Skull said calmly. Even he was surprised how calm he was about it. He knew he might not be when he saw the impact it had on his body in reality, but for now, he decided to just wear the bandage. She saw him unroll the bandage and start to wrap it around his arm. When he was noticeably struggling, she stepped him to help finish it. 

“I’m such an idiot, that was so reckless of me,” Queen mumbled, finishing the knot on his bandage, making sure it wasn’t going to fall off. She rolled the bandage back up and handed it back to him. Their hands brushed as she passed it, and it made her feel worse about the situation. _He’s going to hate me after this_ , she thought to herself

“Look, it’s my fault. I shoulda grabbed onto your waist, but I wasn’t sure how’d ya react if I did.” He said, looking down at the ground. Skull knew he wasn’t being scolded, but he felt the same embarrassment as when she grilled him after thinking he failed his exam. Despite a different situation, the feelings didn’t change. He didn’t want to face her, and she knew that. The last thing she wanted was him to feel uncomfortable with her, especially since he was so enthusiastic less than five minutes ago. 

“We can both take the blame here. Would you like to try again? It’s okay, you can grab onto my waist. I’d prefer you to avoid another situation like this.” She stands up, reaching her arm out again. He can finally look up at her and sees she’s moved her mask to rest on top of her head. Making direct eye contact, he felt a weird sense of vulnerability. He took her hand, and stepped back up. He’d almost forgotten that he was taller than her. She was a year older than him, but he was still nearly a full head taller. They didn’t break eye contact, but it took Queen a second to realize they were still holding hands. She pulled back, a little too quickly. 

“So uh, just hold onto ya then?” Skull asked, and she nodded. “Alright, let’s do this!” 

Queen resummoned her persona, and this time, he held onto her. He was warm against her back, a sensation she surprisingly enjoyed. Skull, on the other hand, did his best to keep as physically away from her as possible. He was worried she’d feel awkward. They had been friends for a while, but he can’t really remember a time he hugged her before. He felt warm, slightly embarrassed about the situation. 

She started her engine again, this time speeding ahead. He gripped her tighter as she moved through Mementos, passing through the convoluted hallways. His scarf flew in the intense wind. He gripped her harder with one hand to quickly tuck in the end of the scarf with the other. The longer he rode, the happier he felt speeding through. He laughed, a little closer to her ear than she expected. It was different from his usual laugh. She thought it was almost cute. Almost. 

They stopped a handful of times, essentially destroying any shadow that came in their way. It was a breeze compared to earlier, but Queen felt so much stronger against the weaker shadows. The stress from Wakaba was melting away with each shadow she destroyed. They never spent a lot of time up here, since, by the time she joined, they were already further into Mementos. Thankfully, it was a short-lasting disadvantage as she learned quickly. It did, however, mean she missed out on learning about weaker shadows. She took mental notes of certain traits and characteristics she noticed. 

When they finally arrived at a rest stop, they sat down across from each other. She took out a small notebook, filled with notes about the different shadows she saw along the way. There were certain characteristics and connections she made over time, such as winged-shadows were usually weak to bullets. Her connections weren’t always consistent enough to share with the rest of the group, but she felt useful in preparing the work. 

“You ever gonna share what you got in there?” Skull asked, peering over. She quickly closed the notebook. “Hey, we all got our secrets.” He leaned back, crossing his legs and resting his scratched arm on the chair next to him. 

“I do, occasionally. I’ll share the rest when I have enough evidence to support it.” She notes, and her eyes drift to the scratches again. She winced, reminded of the earlier situation. “I’m sorry again about… that.” She used her pen to gesture to the bandage on his arm. There was no sign of blood bleeding through the bandage, encouraging her it wasn’t a serious injury. 

“Trust me, it’s fine. Besides, riding Johanna after was so worth it.” He gave her a reassuring smile. “But uh, why’d you invite me down here anyway?”

“I figure if anyone would help me let out some of my frustrations, it’d be you. Plus, we planned a celebration. This was the best option, especially since none of us are spending money.” 

“I had some money, I coulda taken you out though.” 

“Are you sure you’re not trying to ask me out on a date?” She knew better than to make the same joke twice, but it slipped out without her thinking. Since they were face to face this time, she saw him turn red and flip his mask back on. 

“Uh no, course not.” He awkwardly laughed. He cleared his throat before continuing. “But yeah, killing shadows is always cool.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make things awkward again.” She puts her notebook away. Any thoughts she had were overshadowed by yet again putting Skull on the spot. Yes, she felt terrible about having him this way, but it was also exhilarating seeing him squirm. 

“No no, it’s okay. I’m just a weird dude.” They don’t look at each other for a second before she decides to look back at him. He was looking down at the ground again, like when she was fixing his bandage. _Weird dude? Really man?_ Skull thinks, regretting the words he let slip out of his mouth. He wasn’t sure what was up with him, at all. It was getting real old real fast. 

“It’s getting late, we should head back up.” She said, starting to stand up. He nods, and it's a silent ride back up. They both agree to avoid shadows and make it back up as quickly as possible. When they return to reality and go on the train, the silence continues. It’s only broken when Ryuji audibly says goodbye to her as he gets off on his stop. He makes it home, seeing a note from his mother on the counter. 

_Got called into third shift. Don’t stay up too late, i love you! :)_

He leaves the paper on the counter. It was nothing new for his mom to pick up a third shift at her job, but it meant he was forced to sleep at home alone. He hated the silence in the house. He opens the door to his room and throws his bag next to his bed. He flops down onto his bed, face down into his pillow. He lets out a small groan, still feeling embarrassed about earlier. A second later, he feels a small pain coming from his arm. Shit, I forgot about that. He hears a buzzing coming from his book bag. 

When Makoto gets off her stop and makes it home, she sets her bag next to the door and lays on the couch. She knew her sister wouldn’t be home for a few hours, if she did end up coming home that night. For some odd reason, she couldn’t stop thinking about Ryuji. Even more, she was surprised how caught off guard she was with their moments in Mementos. They’d never had a real interaction like that. At the same time, she knew it made him feel awkward. But the awkwardness wouldn’t mean much if his arm was infected - Actually, how’s his arm? She reaches for her phone and immediately texts him. 

Makoto: Hey, how’s your arm? 

_Damn, weird timing. How’d she know?_

Ryuji: I dunno yet, I went straight to bed.   
Makoto: Can you please check it? If something is wrong, it needs to be fixed asap. 

He gets up from his bed and takes off his t-shirt to see the scars on his arms. He had a few other scars healing on his chest from other palaces, but it wasn’t anything serious. Thankfully, these scars were definitely less intense than it initially appeared in Mementos, but he couldn’t tell if he should be worried or not. 

Ryuji: Better than Mementos, worse than I expected.   
Makoto: I’m calling, I want to see it. 

Suddenly, he sees his phone light up, with Makoto attempting to video call him. He swipes up, answering her call. She opens her mouth to say something, but she gasps and puts her hand on her mouth. He’s confused until looks at himself in the small screen and realizes - 

“Oh shit, sorry!” He drops the phone on the floor, and runs to grab a tank top. On the other end, Makoto is beat-red. She mutes herself and lets out a small erratic squeal. She expected it would have happened eventually, but not so soon. It makes her feel worse knowing it wasn’t the worst thing she’d seen. After all, she knew he was constantly working out, so he had to be muscular under his clothing. He was attractive. Ryuji rushes back over with a tank top on and moves the phone to only show his scar. Makoto takes a deep breath before unmuting herself and looking back at the scar. 

“Okay, it’s not that bad. Just, please put some rubbing alcohol on it.” 

“I can do that.” He doesn’t look at his phone, only at the scar. 

“Okayhaveanicenightbye.” Makoto says quickly before hanging up. 

_Fuck, will the awkwardness ever stop?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little nod to joyriding :)   
> I've always thought it made a lot of sense for them to go down and beat up shadows together. It's not the last time I add a small nod to it.


	7. Slow Burn

Ryuji and Makoto don’t speak much for the next few weeks. Their workouts become more sporadic, the previous deal starting to fade away. Makoto didn’t want to lose her strength because of a weird tension between them, and begins to go on her own on days when Ryuji doesn’t text her. While Mementos consistently makes her feel better and less stressed, she knew she couldn’t go alone. After going with Ryuji, she hesitated to ask anyone to go down with her. Especially with the latest addition to their team and the struggles that came with it. 

She liked Futaba. She was a little odd, but Makoto understood the circumstances. It was hard to not sympathize with her after everything she had experienced. In the time it took for Futaba to begin opening up, Makoto had almost forgotten about the experience in Mementos. Opening her up was an adventure on its own, requiring planning and careful strategy to ensure she didn’t shut back down. Over time, Futaba opened up, and her true personality shined through. Makoto imagined if she ever had a younger sister, she might be as eccentric as Futaba. 

After seeing her open up enough, a beach trip was planned to celebrate defeating Wakaba and recruiting Futaba. Makoto had never been much for the beach, and she hadn’t bought a new bikini in years. Thankfully for her, it still fit fairly well. The only difference for her was the filling on the top. Since she last wore it, she noticed her top was more filled in. She knew she wasn’t nearly the same size as Ann, but still felt some confidence in seeing herself. 

_Wonder if he’ll notice...Wait, what?_ She opens her eyes wide, seeing herself turn slightly pink in the mirror. She quickly changes back into her summer clothes and ignores the thought. Instead, she checks her phone for any new messages. She saw a few messages in the group chat, stating they were ready whenever for Makoto to pass by. 

After pleading with her sister to borrow the car for one day, she agreed so her friends didn’t have to awkwardly ride the train covered in ocean salt and sand. Makoto placed the last of her belongings in the beach bag and went to turn on the car. When planning the trip, she knew the most efficient way to pick people up was starting with Ryuji, something she mildly dreaded. She gathered the last of her belongings before heading to turn on the engine. She sends a separate text to Ryuji, letting him know she was on her way for him, after all, he lived a short drive from her. Makoto waited a few minutes outside before she saw him bumbling outside. His scratches had healed fairly quickly, and there was little evidence left of it. He sat next to her on the passenger side, placing his bag down at his feet. 

“Hey, can we talk?” Those words always seemed to make her feel anxious, especially when it came from someone like him. She gripped the wheel harder, and the skin on her knuckles lightened. She opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by a phone call; Futaba was calling her. 

“HEY are you guys almost here?” As Futaba opened up, Makoto learned to keep the phone away from her ear when she answered, or risk a slight ringing from Futaba’s loud greeting. 

“Yes, you and Akira are next. I just picked up Ryuji. I should be there in less than ten minutes. See you soon.” She answered. 

“K, byeee.” Futaba gleefully answered before hanging up. Makoto laughed quietly, placing her phone in the empty cup holder before she moved the car and headed back on the road. She noticed Ryuji didn’t bring up his intention after Futaba had called. 

“Ryuji, what did you want to talk about?” It took everything in her to ask, but before he could answer, his own phone went off. Looking at the caller ID, he saw it was Yusuke. 

“Ryuji, did you bring sunscreen?” Yusuke asked on the phone. 

“Uh yeah, why?” Ryuji scratched the back of his neck. Why was he asking him for sunscreen? 

“May I use yours at the beach? It seems I don’t have my own.” 

“I don’t see why not? Why did ya call me now?” Ryuji lightly placed his hand on his forehead. He liked Yusuke, but the guy was weird. 

“Ah, wonderful! I’ll see you later then.” And like just that, Yusuke hung up. Ryuji looked back at his phone. If he was going to talk to Makoto, now was not going to be the time. Since their last call, he couldn’t stop thinking about the situation. He went back and forth, not sure whether he was just going to make a joke out of that night and risk making her mad, or just apologize and make her feel worse. He just knew he had to talk it out; he enjoyed their friendship too much to not try and fix it. 

“Do you want to talk at the beach?” Makoto asked, parking near LeBlanc. She couldn’t drive into the street, but she could at least make the walk for them as short as possible. Before he answered, Makoto texted Futaba where she was parked. 

“Yeah, sure.” He looked up at her, typing away at her phone. The rest of the ride was uneventful, with Makoto picking everyone up over a half-hour span. They may all live in the same city, but Tokyo was far from a small town. From there, they were off to the beach. It’s a relatively smooth ride until they get closer to the beach. Ryuji, who’s kept his eyes out the window nearly the entire ride, looks into the mirror to see behind him. For a split second, he thinks he sees Ann and Akira’s hands together. _Wonder if that ever worked out for ‘em._

Despite the traffic and difficulty in finding parking, they make it before noon. As the boys went to set up a spot on the sand, Makoto and Ann hurried Futaba into the changing rooms. She had come dressed with her bathing suit already, only needing to take off her t-shirt and shorts. She put them into her bag before pulling out Futaba’s bathing suit. Futaba felt awkward taking it home after the three of them had gone shopping for one a few days ago, so Makoto took it for her. She removes the tags before throwing it over the door. 

Ann and Makoto stand next to each other in front of the door, waiting for her to put it on. Makoto couldn’t help but look over at Ann. Suddenly, all the confidence she felt this morning disappeared. Ann must’ve noticed, because she wrapped her arm around Makoto’s shoulders. 

“Don’t worry, you look great.” She whispers. 

“I-uh, I mean -” Makoto stutters, making Ann laugh. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll hold the boys back for you.” She gives Makoto a big smile, and a flustered Makoto calls out for Futaba. She slowly opens the door, peeping her head out. 

“Are you sure I can’t wear my other gear?” Futaba asks nervously. 

“Nope! We’re heading out, you better come out too!” Ann pulls on Makoto and heads towards the exit. When stepping out, they encounter the others standing in front waiting. The three of them noticeably stare before Ann points at Ryuji, laughing. They hear a fumbling behind them, seeing Futaba in her bathing suit… and a wrapped head. 

“Oh, Futaba,” Makoto says quietly. She turns around to start removing the wrapping around her head. Ryuji let his eyes wander, and while he thought he normally would’ve spent more time looking at Ann, he watched Makoto go back and forth with Futaba over the wrapping. By the time Makoto had removed nearly all the wrappings, Akira lightly nudged Ryuji, staring at him. 

“Enjoying the view?” Akira teased. Ryuji opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted with Futaba loudly complaining about how Yusuke got to wear a hoodie and she didn’t. They all started walking back before Akira quietly told him, “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” 

“Ah come on, man. It ain’t like that.” He playfully pushed his friend back. “Besides, ain’t you and Ann-” Akira made a motion for Ryuji to stop talking, which he quickly understood. 

“It’s complicated right now. We’re just...talking, I haven’t told her anything yet.”

“Wait, weren’t you holding hands in the car?” 

“Oh, you saw that? We did, but I don’t know, we’re not official yet. I haven’t really told her how I feel. I was thinking about telling her today actually, maybe making up some excuse for her to go on a walk with me.” 

“Don’t worry man,” Ryuji confidently said, “You ain’t leaving without gettin’ your chance.” _And I won’t either- making up, not emotion sharing,_ he thinks. Ryuji jogged up ahead, pulling Yusuke aside to talk about his plan. In a short time, Ryuji developed a plan to make sure Akira had a chance to talk to Ann alone, and he could finally have that conversation with Makoto. It would be a few hours before Ryuji could implement it. It started with Yusuke inviting Morgana and Futaba on a boat ride. While Morgana did protest at first, he was quickly dragged away by Futaba. Ryuji knew with that ticking time bomb, he had around 30 minutes before the three of them came back. 

“I’m startin’ to get kind of hungry. Makoto, you wanna come with me to get some food for everyone? Those guys are gonna be hungry when they get back.” He asked, stretching his arms up in the air after sitting under the umbrella for some time. 

“Hm? I think I might pass.” She said not looking up from her book and flipped to the next page. Ryuji, panicking, tried again. 

“I might need help bringin’ everything back so let’s go.” He said, this time with a harsher tone at the end. She looked up this time, seeing him behind Ann and Akira, slightly pointing at the two of them. _Oh, I suppose it’s finally happening._ She put her bookmark into her book, making a mental note of where she stopped. She put the book down, cleaned the sand off of her legs, and followed him. They walked towards the boardwalk, where the closest food options would be. 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I would’ve said yes the first time instead of making things even more awkward.” Makoto said, once they were no longer close enough for them to listen. 

“I figured the less people that knew the better for him. Poor guy is probably shittin’ bricks over there. Come on, we still gotta come back with food. What’re you in the mood for?” 

“Hm, we could just get a box of rice balls for everyone. I saw a place on our walk in this way,” She said, pointing down the boardwalk. They went towards the restaurant and placed an order. In the meantime, they both bought small sodas and sat in a booth. 

“So…”

“So?” She sighed. “Look Ryuji-” 

“I’m sorry for makin’ things weird. In Mementos, and then on that call. I shoulda put a shirt on.” He said quickly, bowing his head down to nearly the table. She gasped at his rash response. 

“It seems all we can do is apologize to each other nowadays.” Makoto laughed. She grabbed the drink with both her hands, fidgeting with the glass bottle. “You know, we don’t have to be so… awkward around each other.” 

“Whatcha mean?” 

_Yeah, what did I mean?_ “Well, we’re friends. We’re allowed to joke around. Sure, I can be serious at times and you can be really reckless-”

“Hey!”

“But if we’re going to continue working together, we should try to relax around each other. We shouldn’t tip-toe around each other. As far as you shirtless goes… Well, that was going to happen eventually, such as today… So, can we make another deal? We keep the awkwardness behind us, and try to start a little fresh by opening up more and relaxing. Besides, we still have our first deal, and I really do miss working out with you consistently. It’s not the same alone.” She gave him a relaxed smile. Ryuji knew she was the mature one, but it went way better than he expected. 

“Yeah, but starting tomorrow, we’re back at it again!” He raised his arms up to flex, making her laugh. “So uh, since we’re gonna be a little more open now, you look really good.” The comment makes eyes get wide. “Not-not to say you didn’t look good before! I’m just sayin’, since ya know you’re in a bikini and you workin’ out and all-” 

“It’s okay, thank you.” _He’s just trying to be nice. You don’t look that great in it._ They hear a bell ding, and see their order on the counter. “I hope that was enough time for Akira to feel comfortable confessing.” They shuffle out of the booth and Ryuji picks up the box. As they walk closer back to the sandy beach and their spot, they see Ann leaning on Akira’s shoulder. Ryuji smiles, happy his friend could find love. 

“Yeah, looks like it was plenty of time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second deal! little more serious, but still pretty tame.  
> The chapters also start going to start getting a little longer from here, next one almost 6k words. It's not always going to be that long, but it'll become more common.
> 
> Also real life is going to get in the way for the next few weeks because I'm moving, so I'll try to keep posting on Mondays. If I can't, I'll post back to back chapters :)


	8. Walls Could Talk

Following an eventful summer and nearly having their identities exposed, the Phantom Thieves returned to school. Makoto and Ryuji had returned back to workout after their beach conversation, adjusting the schedule from summer to school fairly easily. A deal was a deal after all, and for Ryuji, it meant going back to studying. Makoto reassured him they didn't need to study everyday like they did for exams. Although, she found herself a lot more busy than she expected to be this early in the semester. 

"...And so we'll need you to watch over a group of second year students. That should be easy for you to do." Kawakami asked. She had pulled Makoto aside near the locker rooms to discuss something important. Unfortunately, the school's principal had passed away at the end of the summer, but his death was a mystery. The teachers were forced into other tasks, meaning many likely couldn't go on the Hawaii trip. While Kawakami was going, a handful of teachers weren't. 

"I suppose so. I'm not the only third year student doing this, am I?" Makoto asked. Kawakami shook her head. 

"No, we're trying to pair you off. I got you with Haru Okumura, do you two know each other? Have any problems I should know about?" 

"We're acquainted. I don't think we'll have any issues. What class are we doing?" Makoto asked. Kawakami passed her a clipboard with multiple papers clipped on. The top paper was a class list, with images of the students in the class. At the top, she saw Haru was responsible for the first half of the class, while she had the second half. She recognized names and faces, but didn't know anyone specifically until she saw Ryuji’s face at the bottom of the page. 

_Looks like this should be an interesting trip._

"If you have any problems when we're there, just call." Kawakami waved, going around Makoto to leave. Makoto looked back down at the list. Thankfully, she was only responsible for ten students. But with Ryuji, she wasn't sure what to expect. She rarely spoke to him at school, so it would be interesting to see if he caused as much trouble as the rumors said he did. 

Makoto started walking back to the student council room, and saw a familiar face approach her. 

"Hi Niijima-san. Did Ms. Kawakami speak to you as well?" It was Haru Okumura, a third year student. They weren't in the same class this year, but were as first years. Even back then, they didn't speak to each other often. 

"Oh, hello Okumura-san. Yes, I just finished actually." Makoto responded. Haru looked at the clipboard and paperwork in her hand. 

"Is that the class list? She said she would give it to you after you agreed. May I please see it?" Haru held her hand out, and she obliged. She looked through the list, along with some of the other papers in the pile before handing it back. 

"It seems like a good class, I recognized a few names." 

"I agree. I'm worried about Sakamoto, I hear he's never up to any good." 

"He's nice once you get to know him." Makoto said. It looked like the rumors had reached even someone like Haru, who always kept to themselves. 

"Are you two friends? It was something I heard in passing, I don't think I've ever spoken to him before." Haru pondered. "It was nice talking to you. Oh wait, let's exchange contact information just in case." 

Makoto and Haru got each other's phone numbers before Haru ran off. She didn't know much about Haru, But Makoto figured she'd learn over the next few days on the Hawaii trip. She understood the school was disorganized, but to assign a last minute change the day before the trip like this was disorienting.

\--

"Yo, Mr. Hara isn't coming! You know what this means?" Ryuji eagerily exclaimed to Akira. The two were sitting at the airport, waiting for their flight. The airport wasn't too crowded, since they were leaving on an early morning flight. It did mean seeing several students already half asleep and laying down on a few chairs. Akira had saved the seat next to them for Ann. 

"You're going to do whatever you want?" Akira asked. 

"HELL yeah! I mean, they can't replace a teacher like that." Ryuji was looking forward to slacking off and ignoring whatever 'group activity' was required. 

"Except they can, and they did." The two look up at Makoto and Ann arriving at the same time. While Makoto's bag isn't much bigger than Ryuji's, Ann brought a large rolling suitcase. Akira grabbed his bag, giving Ann the seat next to him. Makoto picked up Ryuji’s bag, placing it on his lap with a smile. He looked at Makoto confused as she sat down and placed her bag down, resting her feet up on the hard plastic exterior of her small suitcase. 

"Uh, what're you talking about?" Makoto grinned, pulling a neatly folded paper out from her shirt pocket. She hands it over for him to read. He looked over it before gasping. 

"YOURE MY TEACHER?" Ryuji yelled. All of his plans of running off and doing whatever he wanted were down the drain, because Makoto was in charge of his class. She wasn't the only one, there was some other name next to the other half of his class. But he was her responsibility. 

Makoto shushed him immediately. "Will you ever learn to use an inside voice?" She said, taking back the paper and folding it back into her pocket. "And no, I'm your class chaperone. It means if anything does come up, I'm required to be there." 

_If anything comes up, huh… Nah, she'll kill me._ He loved causing chaos, but this was Makoto. She already was going to have a lot of stress thanks to babysitting the other nine students. He could at least try to be on his best behavior. Overhead, their plane number is called, and the group gets up to get on line. Makoto and Ryuji were ahead of Ann and Akira, who were invested in their own conversation. 

Since Akira confessed his feelings at the beach, things got better and worse among the group. Morgana seemed to always have some type of issue, especially with him and Akira. Ryuji wasn't sure what his problem was, but he figured it had something to do with Akira dating the girl he had a huge crush on. They were still in the honeymoon phase, something that bugged Ryuji as well. He missed his best friend, but he was happy for him. It's not like he was getting anything anytime soon, so he may as well celebrate his best friend's success. 

"They're inseparable these days." Makoto said, keeping her eyes forward instead of looking behind. She didn't mind too much, but she did find it frustrating whenever they were trying to discuss Phantom Thieves business and they derailed the meeting. It's only happened once or twice, but it was enough for her to notice. 

"Tell me 'bout it. I bet that's what true love looks like." Ryuji said, stepping forward to give his ticket to the airport worker. Makoto followed after, walking through the tunnel. It was a long flight, and Ryuji had a feeling he was about to lose his seat to Ann. Before he could even see his row, Ann immediately asked to switch seats. He protested at first, before having Akira politely ask right after. They switched ticket stubs, and Ryuji found his new seat. He was in the same row as Makoto, but didn't have a seat next to her. _Wonder if she'll let me switch, might be nice sitting next to Makoto instead of whoever this chick is._

"Um, Sakamoto, correct?" A soft voice asked him. He didn't recognize the girl sitting in the seat between them. 

"Ryuji, this is Haru Okumura. She's the other chaperone." Makoto said, entering the conversation. They briefly shook hands before Ryuji stuffed his bag in the overhead bin and sat down in the aisle seat. He figured the change wasn't coming anytime soon. 

"I had a window seat and everything. This sucks!" He exclaimed, crossing his arms. 

"Did Ann ask to switch seats? I know you had a seat next to Akira." Makoto pondered. He nodded, confirming her statement. It didn't surprise her one bit, all things considered. 

"I get they're together and all, but come on! Does she want my bed now too? Actually, she might, don't give them ideas."

"I wouldn't dream of it. Kawakami is on this trip, so don't worry." 

"Um, would you two prefer to sit next to each other? I didn't realize you two were close friends." Haru interjected. Makoto and Ryuji hadn't realized they were leaning over the arm rests, taking up Haru's space. The two leaned back towards their own seats, protesting her request at the same time. Haru shrugged, leaning down to reach her purse under her chair. She pulled out a sleep eye mask. 

"Do you want us to stay quiet so you can rest?" Makoto asked. Haru shook her head. 

"Oh no, don't mind me. I'm a fairly heavy sleeper." She put the mask on and leaned back comfortably into her seat. Ryuji and Makoto looked at each other unsure of what to do. Neither of them wanted to disturb her, but they both felt their conversation wasn't over yet. Ryuji grabbed his phone out of his pocket, deciding to text her. 

Ryuji: How long are we flyin' again?  
Makoto: About seven hours, give or take a few minutes.   
Ryuji: UGH this SUCKS. I just wanted to hang with Akira for a bit. Ann's been the only thing on his mind.   
Makoto: They'll get used to it eventually.   
Ryuji: Stupid honeymoon phase. It can't be that great.   
Makoto: You've never been in a relationship before, have you?  
Ryuji: No, but I wouldn't be like them.   
Makoto: You won't know for sure until you get into a relationship.   
Ryujii: You speakin' from experience, prez?   
Makoto: No. Just from what I see from my fellow students.   
Ryuji: Well 'you won't know until you get into a relationship' if its great or nah.  
Makoto: Haha, very funny. Do you see my face? I'm dying from laughter. 

Ryuji looked up from his phone to see a stone faced Makoto. She could only hold it for a moment before smirking. 

Makoto: We won't be able to text when in the air.   
Ryuji: Why not?  
Makoto: Really Ryuji? Phone reception doesn't work the same in the sky. If you want to send messages, it can cost you a small fortune.   
Ryuji: Oh, dumb planes.   
Makoto: It's for the best, we should save our battery in case we need it when landing. 

Makoto coughed, getting his attention. She puts her phone back into her bag and slips it under the seat. He rolls his eyes, deciding to stay on his phone. When the plane lands seven hours later and Haru is awoken by the plane wheels coming down, Ryuji's phone dies upon landing. He audibly groans. He had his charger, but had no idea when they'd get to their rooms. 

"Looks like someone should've listened." Makoto says. She stands up in her seat, stretching her legs out while the front of the plane starts to disperse. He sticks his phone in his pocket, hoping he doesn't get any important messages until he can turn it back on. When it's their turn to leave, the three of them shuffle out of the row and out of the plane. The classes huddle right outside the airport, waiting for their buses back to the hotel. 

Makoto and Haru look for the class, gathering the students based on the photos on their sheet. Once everyone is gathered, they explain the situation. The class is understanding, but much quieter than they expected. There wasn't much of a peep out of the students after the two reaffirmed their position among them. Not long after, the groups filed into the bus for a short ride to the hotel.

_Maybe this won't be so bad. They seem well-behaved._

It's chaos once the class arrives at the hotel. Students come up to Makoto and Haru to complain about their room assignments. Knowing students had the option to select earlier, neither of them budge. One student starts crying after realizing she left her charger back in Japan. After a long, complicated explanation in English to the hotel staff, they provide Makoto a free one for the student to use. On the other side of the lobby, Haru tries to convince a pair of students to not run off since neither of them were fluent in English and could get lost. In the middle of it all, Ryuji, Akira and Ann watched the chaos. 

"Ryuji, I knew your class was a little unstable, but they all look extra crazy here." Ann commented, holding onto Akira's arm. 

"Yeah, they're buncha crybabies. Literally." He said annoyed. He was sharing a room with Akira, and they already had their room key. They were simply waiting to see how this would unfold, especially since the three of them knew Makoto well. 

"For the fifth time, I am not asking the hotel to switch your rooms... No, I don't care if you don't have a beach front view." Makoto was growing more and more frustrated by the minute. She was almost with her half of the students, but could not convince one pair of students that their room was good enough. 

"Come on! Pleaaase? The hotel staff won't listen to me!" The students exclaim again. _It looks like it's gettin' pretty bad,_ Ryuji thought, instinctively walking towards the chaos. 

"What is he doing?" Akira said. Both him and Ann turned to see him go without moving themselves. Before Ryuji can say anything, the students storm off. Makoto sighs, organizing the paperwork on her clipboard. 

"They’re a real big pain in the ass, especially the guy." Makoto jumps slightly, startled by Ryuji's sudden appearance. She turns to see him. Makoto wouldn't admit it, but he was right. 

"Ryuji," Makoto gasped before sighly quietly, "He just seems a little… challenging. But Okumura and I will make it work." She glances up, seeing Haru finally alone and going up to their room. "Looks like she's done too. I have to unpack, I'll see you soon." 

Makoto walks around him, jogging to catch up to Haru. Their room is on the third floor of the hotel, right next to the elevator. While Makoto enjoyed the quick access, she knew this would become a hot spot for students. When she caught up to Haru, they walked the short distance from the elevator to their room. Haru scanned the card, unlocking the hotel room. 

It was no different than any of the other rooms the Shujin students were staying in. There were two queen sized beds, an accent chair in the corner, and a large cabinet with a television propped on top. Between the two beds, there was one large night stand. Immediately to their left upon entering was their closet and bathroom. 

Haru claimed the bed next to the wall, which made Makoto happy to be next to the window. She propped her suitcase up on the bed, going through the different items she had brought on her trip. Multiple days of clothing, her bathing suit, toiletries, emergency money… everything was there, thankfully. She placed some items on top of the cabinet and took her toiletries to the bathroom. The rest stayed in her suitcase. 

"Would you like to eat dinner together, Niijima-san?" Makoto has forgotten about dinner with all the chaos happening over the last few hours. It was a weird time for her, but she hadn't realized how hungry she was until Haru had mentioned it. She felt her stomach gurgle, and despite how tired she was, she was ready to eat. 

"That sounds amazing right now." They left the room as quickly as they came, going towards the lobby. This time, they walked into a large dining room, where food was being served buffet style. The two filled their plates and sat down. They were a few tables away from most Shujin students, but both unofficially agreed to keep their distance from the class whenever possible. She was surprised to not see the other three around, but chalked it up to timing. 

Haru and Makoto make polite conversation, not having much to say to each other. They never really spoke before this, but Makoto didn't want to be rude. She knew Haru was quiet, and it didn't seem like she had a lot of friends. The least she could do was provide Haru some company. They returned to their rooms after eating, working on their own respective tasks in silence. 

On the other side of the hotel, Ryuji laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He threw a ball up, and let gravity bring it down. For a once-in-a-lifetime trip, he was incredibly bored. There was some type of luau going on, but he wasn't interested in third-wheeling Ann and Akira again. He learned his lesson after trying to eat dinner with the pair. In the empty room, he had a feeling he'd sleep alone. Ryuji wasn't sure if they had tried having sex yet, but he figured while abroad, there's no way they wouldn't try it out. When the ball fell again, he placed it on the nightstand and grabbed his phone instead. 

_Akira is busy with Ann, I hate my class, there's no way I'm hanging out with Mishima alone… Makoto it is._

Ryuji: Hey prez, you busy rn? 

Makoto scrolls through her phone, seeing the message from Ryuji pop up at the top. 

Makoto: Shouldn't you be at the luau?  
Ryuji: lol no thanks   
Makoto: What about Akira?   
Ryuji: Probably off fuckin' Ann.   
Makoto: Please, I'd prefer not to think about our two friends doing...that  
Ryuji: You ain't answer my question!! Whatcha up to?  
Makoto: I'm in bed. If you want to hang out, it's going to have to wait.   
Ryuji: Yeah but like are you really in bed or like 'just layin' in my everyday clothes and ain't taken a shower yet' in bed?  
Makoto: There's a difference? I'm in my PJs, I'm going to sleep soon  
Ryuji: Ughhh fine, but can we hang out tomorrow then if you're not busy teachin' my class?   
Makoto: I'm not your teacher!   
Makoto: ...Not being able to hang out with Akira is really bothering you, isn't it?   
Ryuji: He's not Akira anymore, it's weird.   
Makoto: Tomorrow, Haru is the designated chaperone tomorrow after 5pm. I'll swing by your room around then.   
Ryuji: See you then :)

\--

When he woke up, Ryuji wasn't surprised to see Akira wasn't in the other bed. What surprised him was seeing a body in the bed. He jumped out of bed and tackled the figure. He tried wrapping the sheet around them to confine them, but when they didn't work, he decided to pin them down to the bed. He couldn't see their face, but heard a familiar grunting noise. 

"Yusuke what the eff? Why are you here?" Ryuji shouted, unpinning his friend and getting off the bed. Yusuke pulled the sheet away from his face. 

"Akira offered his room to me. He said he wasn't going to need it." Yusuke answered. Besides the twinge of sadness Ryuji felt, he had bigger problems at hand. 

"I mean here! Hawaii! Wasn't your school goin' somewhere else?" Ryuji flaked his arms around, trying to get a grasp of the situation. 

"Oh, yes. Our trip was cancelled thanks to poor weather so we stayed at our layover location, which happened to be here. There weren't enough rooms, so our teachers asked if we had any friends at Shujin Academy to share rooms with. You didn't answer, so I called Akira."

Ryuji walked over to his phone, seeking two missed calls from Yusuke and a missed call from Akira in the middle of the night. He figured it couldn't be that bad having Yusuke as a roommate. It definitely beat not having anyone at all, and at least he had someone to hang out with during the day. 

"Ah sorry man, I was knocked out. You got plans with the school today?" Yusuke shook his head, and Ryuji smiled. "You wanna go hang at the beach? We can check out some of the American girls."

"I suppose it may be interesting to see the differences. But I'd really like some more sleep before then." Yusuke grabbed his blanket and rolled back over. One minute later, Ryuji heard snoring. _Shit he's a quick sleeper. Whatever, I'm starved. I'll get somethin' and come back for him._

Ryuji heads down stairs, grabs a handful of fruit from the buffet and goes back to his room. As he goes into the elevator, he sees Akira rushing to keep it open. Ryuji kicks his foot out, making sure it doesn't close before his friend can make it in. 

"Thanks Ryuji." Akira said as he walked into the elevator. 

"Anytime. So uh, what happened? Why ain't you tell me you were staying with Ann?" Ryuji asked. He wasn't sure when he'd get another chance to talk to his friend one on one again while here. 

"Sorry, I kinda got carried away. It was nice though, we talked all night. It's been stressful, and I feel like talking to her makes it easier." Akira said. Ryuji suddenly felt guilty about complaining earlier. He knew it was hard for his friend to really destress. After all, his schedule was ridiculously packed. Ryuji wasn’t sure what he was up to half the time, but he knew it was important. After all, it was always beneficial to the Phantom Thieves. 

"Nah I get it, you deserve it man. Just don't forget about the rest of us." 

"I know, I'm sorry. Ann is off with some other friends, so you have me until she's done. We can get lunch, hang out. I'd say breakfast too, but I already ate and you look like you're about to." Akira gestures to the fruit in his hands. 

"Yeah, I figured Yusuke might be hungry too -" Ryuji looked down at the fruit before remembering that Akira didn't exactly have a bed anymore. "Wait man why'd you give up your bed like that?"

Akira shrugged. "Ann's roommate ended up staying with someone else, so she had the room to herself. When Yusuke called in the middle of the night, he sounded pretty upset. I knew he needed the bed more than me. I'm sorry, I tried to call." 

"Well, can't argue with that logic." The elevator door dings open. Ryuji was glad he got a chance to actually talk to Akira. He knew Akira had been through a lot, so for him to finally be happy with someone was a big deal for him. 

Even better for him, they finally got to hang out. Since the beach trip at the end of August, Ryuji didn't get much of a chance to hang out with just Yusuke and Akira. He spent a lot of his time with Makoto. He enjoyed spending time with her, but there was something nice about spending time with the guys. Besides Akira texting Ann on and off, he was a man of his word. 

When Yusuke finally woke up, the three of them went to the beach and watched the people around him. When asking around, Ryuji was surprised to see how many people had heard of the Phantom Thieves. It stroked his ego to know that so many people had heard of him, but didn't realize they were talking to three members. 

"Maaaaan this is awesome!" Ryuji said excitedly. The three of them sat under the shade of an umbrella. He was excited to be recognized, more so than he expected. While they didn't speak as much under the umbrella, he liked being able to spend time with them. He laid down on the sand, hands behind his head, eyes closed. The sun beat down on his face, but it felt nice and warm on his skin.

Ryuji let his mind wander, thinking about getting recognition as the Phantom Thieves. Overtime, he drifted off into a nap. He dreamed of standing on a stage, surrounded by his friends, and getting a big trophy with their name on it. In the crowd he saw lots of attractive women. For some weird reason, he liked seeing all the women in the crowd, but didn’t find any of them that appealing. He grabbed the trophy from the person handing it to them, holding it up to the crowd. They cheered louder, and Ryuji looked back at his friends, excited for the same reason as he was. He looked over at Makoto, and felt… strange. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but it made him feel warm inside. 

“Ryuji?” _Her voice._ It gave him chills. _What’s going on?_

Suddenly, the sky darkened, and he woke up. Opening his eyes, he saw Makoto's outline in front of him. Her arms were at her sides, and she didn’t look too happy to see him. 

"You really should keep the sound on your phone in case of emergencies." Makoto said, kneeling down to sit next to him. He looked around, and saw Akira had disappeared, and Yusuke was texting next to him. 

"Shit, did I fall asleep? I'm sorry." Ryuji grabbed his phone, seeing a handful of texts from Makoto. It was already past 5pm, meaning Akira likely ran off to see Ann. 

"It's fine, I thought you had bailed on me. But when I ran into Akira and he told me you'd fallen asleep on the beach." 

"Did Ann text him?" She nodded. "Ah damn, at least I got to spend some time with the guy here. And uh, apparently we have Yusuke here now too." Ryuji gestured to Yusuke, who continued to tap away on his phone. 

"Hm." He mumbles, not looking up from his phone. 

"Who are you texting so rapidly, Yusuke?" Makoto giggled. 

"No one, it's not important. Ignore me." He said, not looking directly at either of them. Makoto and Ryuji excitedly looked at each other before turning over to their friend. 

"Who is she?"  
"Come on, ya can tell us!" The two pried, leaving Yusuke more flustered. 

"I have somewhere to be." Yusuke quickly packed up his few belongings and ran off. Makoto could've sworn she saw a blush on his face. 

“Wonder what that was all about?” Ryuji asked, looking back at Makoto. 

“He must not feel comfortable talking to us about it yet. I hope everything is alright with him.” 

“Yeah… Hey, can I ask ya somethin’? Has Ann been super clingy to Akira too? It seems like he can’t stop thinkin’ about her.” 

“A little, but I think Akira is more attached than she is. It’s not a bad thing either way, but I don’t think she texts him as much as he does based on my interactions with her earlier today.” 

Makoto looked forward at the beach goers. There were some Shujin students here and there, but nothing overwhelming. She saw a few others she figured were from Yusuke’s school since they were stuck there as well. When she was the designated chaperone earlier, she thankfully had few issues. Outside of one student getting lost, and later found, she had no real problems a phone call couldn’t fix. 

“Makes sense, super quiet with friends but chatty in a relationship. Anyways, guess what we found out? Even the Americans know about us! Ain't that awesome?" 

"I suppose it is nice to see we've made this big of an impact. We still need to be careful. I hope you're not sharing who's part of it, right?" Makoto wasn't expecting him to share, but she figured if he did, he'd tell her. 

"Nah, course not. But maaan, it'd be awesome to get some type of recognition, right? I mean, girls must be all over the idea of some mysterious thieves right?" Ryuji was interested in using his status, but probably never would considering their group's position. What he wasn't expecting was the distaste in Makoto's face. He hadn't realized it until he got a good look at her, but her cheeks looked slightly red from the sun. 

"I don't know if I like the attention. I like making the world a better place, but I don't know if I'd want some random people swooning over me..." Makoto cut herself off and brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She wanted someone who liked her for her, not her status as a Phantom Thief. 

Ryuji hadn't thought of it exactly like that. He wanted fans and people getting excited over him there. He didn't really get that in his daily life, and even when he was the star runner of the track team, he didn't get a lot of attention. 

"I mean, it's not like I'd date any of them." He mumbled under his breath. _Why not though? What's holdin' me back?_ He thought to himself. A few months ago, he would’ve been happy to have girls fawning all over him. He was excited to go and see the American girls earlier today, but those feelings died pretty quickly after he got to the beach. The idea of it was more appealing than the reality of it.

“I’m surprised. I figured you’d be more interested in shorter flings than a committed relationship.” Makoto said, having heard his mumbles. She felt butterflies in her stomach overwhelming her, and she felt something she didn’t think she’d feel next to Ryuji. It was comfortable, and she enjoyed his company right now. A lot, actually. 

“I think before maybe I would’ve, but now? I dunno. Just gotta find the right person, right?” 

“Yeah, the right person.” I wonder who that could be. _It’s none of my business, and I don’t want to scare him off like poor Yusuke…_

The topic changes, at least Makoto forces it to change to avoid. They talk about other things while watching the sun set. Phantom Thieves, workouts they need to adjust when they return to Japan, trending shows on television. They talk until the sun finally goes down enough where they can’t see each other too much.

Before Makoto knows it, it’s night time. She hadn’t realized how cold it had gotten since then. They pack up their belongings, and she feels the chills on her arms. With all the hectic problems from earlier, she’d forgotten a sweater. When the two stand up, Ryuji sees the goosebumps on Makoto’s arms. He’d brought a sweater since it was a little cold when he arrived earlier, but noticed she was missing one. 

“Here, you should wear this.” Ryuji says, holding out his sweater. It’s a black track jacket with two white stripes going up along the arms. The last thing he wanted was for her to be cold. He could handle it, but she looked like she was going to freeze any second. 

“I’ll be fine, it’s just a little chilly. What about you, aren’t you cold?” Makoto responds. She didn’t want to take his sweater, even if it did look warm enough to at least keep her upper body warm. She knew what it implied to be seen walking around in his jacket. 

“I’ll be fine, but ya look like you’re gonna freeze.” He keeps holding it out. After a moment of hesitation, she takes it. 

“Thank you.” She says quietly, putting it on. It’s big on her, covering her entire upper body and reaches just below her hips. She zips it up, catching a whiff of the cologne on it. The smell is a pleasant surprise. They start to walk back over to the hotel, not seeing any students on their way back. It made her feel better to avoid seeing anyone she knew, especially when she made it to the elevator. 

“Want me to walk ya back to your room?” He asks while she presses the button for her floor. She instinctively nods. After a minute, the door opens, and Makoto leads the short walk to her room. He’s mildly embarrassed to see how close it is to the elevator. Looking at the sweater on her, he thinks she looks cute in his jacket.

“Uh, sorry I forgot it was this close. But um, thank you, Ryuji.” She stutters her way through her sentence before collecting her composure again. “Remember tomorrow at noon, all the classes are meeting at the dining hall for the last event before we go.”

“Yeah yeah, I’ll be there.” He decides against asking her for the sweater, and starts to walk away before turning around and saying. “You look cute in my sweater, keep it.” He runs off, turning into the hallway with the elevator. He’s grateful she can’t see him from here because he’s frantically pressing the button, hoping she doesn’t come after him. When it finally opens, he presses his floor and sighs when the door closes. _She’s gonna kill me… but I meant it._

Makoto is happy Ryuji left as quickly as he did, because she felt the blood rush to her face. She thought she was as red as her eyes. She struggles to unlock her door, but when she does, she slams it and leans up against it. She doesn’t realize she wasn’t breathing until Haru comes out of her bed and sees her against the door. 

“Hi, Niijima-san. Is everything okay?” Haru asks innocently. 

“Yeseverythingisfinewhywouldntitbe.” Makoto says quickly. She holds her hand against her mouth to stop herself from talking. She takes a moment to catch her breath, and pushes herself off from the door. “I mean, yes, I’m fine.” 

“I’m sorry to pry, but I am curious. Are you and Sakamoto dating?” If there was any blood in Makoto’s face left from earlier, it suddenly drained. 

“Uh, what would make you ask that?” She nervously asks. Haru’s eyes go to the sweater Makoto has on. _Shit, his sweater._

“You two seemed friendly on the plane, but I didn’t consider it until I was at the beach earlier helping one of our students. While I was there, I saw the two of you on the beach together. You looked awfully close, but I wasn’t sure. And now, you’re wearing his sweater.”

“Um… No?” _Why are you hesitating?_ “No, we’re not dating. We’re just close friends.” 

“Oh okay. I’m sorry for prying…. Niijimia-san, can I call you Makoto?” Haru asked. Makoto felt a twinge of sadness in her asking that, but nodded. 

“Yeah, can I call you Haru?” Makoto asked, walking around her to reach her suitcase. 

“Yes, yes you can.” She grabs her pajamas and goes into the bathroom. It’s the first time she sees herself in the mirror, seeing the large jacket draping on her. His words echo in her head, and the color returns to her face. She had to agree with him; she did feel cute in his sweater. 

The next day goes off without a hitch. Makoto doesn’t ignore Ryuji, but she doesn’t go out of her way to speak to him during the event. Even if she wanted to, she found herself distracted with his class. She could’ve sworn once or twice, she saw him looking at her. Sure, she watches her friends sometimes too, but his eyes looked softer. It’s really the only time she sees him before they’re all whisked away back to Japan later that night. On the trip back, Makoto is surprised to see Ann returning to her seat. When asked about it, Ann says she feels bad for Ryuji and decides to give him his seat back. It disappoints her deep down, but she’s fine with it in the end. After all, he was missing his best friend. 

The flight back is quiet and uneventful, but Makoto feels like her heads are in the clouds. As she starts to fall asleep on the ride back, she thinks about his sweater in her suitcase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy...Saturday? This next week is a little crazy, so instead of posting late, I decided to just post early :) This is probably one of my favorite chapters because its the calm before the storm (and there's a lot of foreshadowing hehe). 
> 
> Hoping to stick to the schedule next week, but if it doesn't work out, I'll probably post next Saturday as well before going back to Monday's (hopefully!)


	9. Lava

Ryuji: Can we hangout? I can’t just stay home and do nothin’ right now.   
Makoto: Depends. Are you going to yell at me too? 

Ryuji groaned, frustrated with his situation. After returning from Hawaii, the group had established Okumura as a potential new target. However, there was a lot of new commotion and energy coming from their growing fanbase. The vote was not unanimous, frustrating Morgana during their meeting. Right after, Ryuji and Morgana began arguing about it. He thought about Morgana’s choice of words, calling him a carnal blonde and saying he was only using the Phantom Thieves to pick up girls. He hadn’t picked up a single girl from it, and wasn’t planning on it. Should he have called Morgana useless? Probably not, but at that moment, Ryuji couldn’t hold himself back. So when the cat left the cafe, it was almost a relief to Ryuji. 

As a result, everyone was heated and frustrated with the situation. Akira quickly called the meeting to a stop, asking everyone to relax before meeting back again tomorrow with clear minds. No one talked to Ryuji, and he knew he had messed up. They didn’t have to say it to him, but he couldn’t admit guilt. It wasn’t just him after all. Morgana was just as guilty for going off to Okumura’s palace without a unanimous vote like they always do. So when he got home he considered his options. He could stay home and play video games, but he couldn’t be alone right now. At least, he didn’t want to be. 

Ryuji: I’m not mad at you if that’s what your gettin’ at. I dunno, I just wanna don’t wanna be me right now.   
Ryuji: Mementos trip, please?   
...  
Makoto: Fine. Meet me at station square in an hour. 

Makoto was furious. She had gone straight home and made some tea in hopes of calming herself down, but she was still incredibly angry. She had her own problems, but this one had suddenly taken priority. When she’d come back from Hawaii, her sister had gone on a rampage. She wasn’t herself, and it worried Makoto. Her sister was out yet again, looking for more evidence on the Phantom Thieves case she’d taken on. It stressed Makoto out, but she couldn’t do much but nod and smile. She’d never tell her sister about her position on the team Sae was so dedicated to bringing down. 

She finishes her tea and goes to her room to prepare a bag for Mementos. She didn’t have many supplies, but she knew they wouldn’t need much. Adjusting her hair in the mirror, she considers what she’s going to say to him. What was there to say? She knew she’d have to bite her tongue for his sake, but he was just as guilty. On her walk to the station, she thinks about all the emotions she’s felt this past week. In Hawaii, things were both hectic and calm. Luckily, nothing bad happened while she was chaperoning the class. Even better, she got to spend time with her friends and got to know Haru, which now she considered it, was a whole other problem in dealing with Okumura’s palace. But now? Morgana and Ryuji were at each other’s throats, the team had unbearable tension, and everything was not okay. 

And what did Morgana mean by Ryuji using his status to attract girls, when he told her days ago he wasn’t interested in any of them? 

Hopping off the train, Makoto made her way up the steps. At the top of the steps, she saw Ryuji leaning against the wall. They make eye contact, and she sees just how annoyed he looks, but then again, so did she. She decided to waste no time, and started to trigger the app as she got closer to him. When she pulls out her phone, he does the same. By the time she reaches the top of the stairs, they’re Skull and Queen yet again. 

“Well, we’re here. Let’s go.” Queen says, passing him without stopping. She runs through station square to reach the other platform, forgetting how terrifying the world looked like when she wasn’t downstairs running through the train tracks. Skull goes after her, knowing he’d catch up soon enough. She was athletic, but he still had his running experience to back him up. When she starts jogging down the steps, she hears him calling out to her. She ignores him for now.

By the time she reaches the bottom and walks forward, she feels his hand around her wrist. The anger she felt from earlier had momentarily subsided, her mask hiding her blush. _What is he thinking…_ She pulls her hand back, and she’s able to think again. She turns around to face him. 

“Are you okay?” Skull asked. 

“I’m fine. You wanted to be here and it sounded like to beat up some shit, so let’s go.” Queen rarely cursed, and knowing that, Skull decided to maintain the silence between them. At the base of the train tracks, she summons her persona. He sits on behind her, careful about how he grabs her. She set aside the feelings from earlier, trying to not let it cloud the problems swirling in her mind. With a loud roar, Johanna goes forward. 

It’s faster than she’s ridden before, and Skull could tell. He wanted to be gentle, but couldn’t with the way she was driving. He was terrified, but at the same time, he needed the adrenaline rush. He liked feeling the wind against his face, the uncertainty of her riding Johanna into who knows what. On their trip, they only stop twice to kill shadows. It’s only when there’s more than one shadow in a tight area that Queen decides to stop and kill them. She’s quiet for both fights, only talking to him when necessary. 

Queen was uneasy with the situation. She was destroying shadows, and speeding with Johanna, but she still felt annoyed with herself. The problems weren’t going away in her head. If anything, the thoughts were intensifying. In a particularly long hallway, she decides to speed up even faster. She feels the wind slam against her face, but she doesn’t care. She needed to be a little reckless right now, and just killing shadows wasn’t enough. The problems come back into her mind like a loud siren. 

_Morgana is off somewhere, alone. He could be dead for all we know._

_Haru’s homelife must be horrible enough to have a father with a palace…_

_Ryuji lied to me. He’s nothing but a playboy._

_Sae is -_

“Makoto stop!” 

Queen hears Skull’s shouts through her thoughts, and sees she’s about to crash into a wall. She quickly jerks the handlebars to the side to avoid impact. While she successfully avoids the wall, she feels herself losing balance on her persona. Skull jumps off quickly, and while he feels a small jolt of pain in his bad leg, he gets off unscathed. Queen, on the other hand, tumbles off Johanna and starts to roll away. Her persona disappears and her mask returns to her face. By the end of her tumble, her back is against the train tracks, her eyes looking up at the ceiling of Mementos. The walls move slowly, as she watches the red lines flow like blood veins. She accepts this moment of peace, blocking the problems in her mind, until she hears footsteps running towards her. 

“Holy shit are you okay? What were you thinking?” Skull yells, hovering over her. He reaches out her hand, but she opts to sit up on her own. Her back cries out in pain, and she feels the new scratches on her body. She looks at her arms, seeing small rips and tears all over. Her left leg has a large cut, but nowhere near as bad as Ryuji’s arm during their first attempt on the bike. She touches her face, feeling a new cut across her cheek. She pulls her hand back and sees blood. She knows she’ll be covered in bruises when she returns to reality. 

In the meantime, Skull is pulling out everything from her bag, and finally pulls out a healing gel. She takes it, and puts it on the large wound on her leg and her cheek. She thinks about how it’s better for her this way. Skull needed the bandage before because the impact was much more severe, while Queen could already tell this was nowhere near as bad. Her cuts would likely be healed with this gel before she left Mementos, but the pain and bruising would linger. 

“Say something, please.” Skull cries out. She remembers why she’s mad. 

“Why did you ask me down here?” Her tone is more aggressive than she expects from herself. 

“I told you, I wanted to get away from it all but I wasn’t expectin’ you to do that. What were you thinking?” Skull was frustrated. He had no idea why she wasn’t more careful, since she wasn’t careless in Mementos of all places. Something had to be wrong. 

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me since you’re the one who scared off Mona?” _Take it back, take it back, say something -_ “I had enough problems before you two decided to argue.” 

“Me? You know damn well he had it comin’! All he’s been doing is whining, he can’t be the ‘expert’ forever.”

“And what was he even talking about earlier? You told me you weren’t using this status to attract girls and suddenly you are? Decide what type of person you want to be before you tell people otherwise.” _Makoto, what are you doing? He’s going to get mad -_

“It’s not like we’re datin’ or anything so why do you care about my love life all of a sudden?” The last word echoes in Mementos. Why did she care so much about his love life? The two think the same thing, but neither had an answer to the question. The tension was unbearable, and for Queen, she eventually came up with a shaky answer. But it wasn’t something she could say, not after tonight, or maybe ever. She pulls herself together, resummoning her persona. 

“Get on. We’re going back. Unless you’d prefer to walk.” She says sadly, getting back on. He steps on without a word, and she makes her way back, slower this time. When they return to the entrance, she heals both of them before leaving back to reality without a word. She doesn’t have the guts to look at him right now, much less talk to him. 

On the train ride back home, Makoto feels the bruises on her back. It aches, and she’s already considering the ice pack in her freezer to help with the swelling. The cuts on her face and leg were nothing more than a small scratch, but her arms looked unaffected. She already felt guilty for yelling at him, when all he needed was an outlet after an argument. It was both Morgana and Ryuji’s fault, and she knew that now that she could think more clearly. Makoto had emotions she needed to sort out before she could apologize, and some problems she wanted to see solved. 

Thankfully, two of Makoto’s problems are somewhat solved a few days later. After investigating Haru, the team made the full and solid connection between her and her father. Makoto knew she was nothing like her evil father, but it took the team investigating her for them to fully see it. After all, they were friends now after spending time together in Hawaii. They texted each other daily, getting to know each other. Haru was okay and ready to deal with her father. 

As far as Morgana went, that situation was resolved the day prior. When Morgana and Haru returned to the cafe, it was an awkward conversation before he finally admitted he was wrong. Ryuji quickly apologized not long after. He knew Morgana called him useless all the time, but deep down he knew Morgana was projecting his own frustrations with his humanity. He wanted a reason to stay, and for him, it meant finding humanity. Their reunion was cut short, in part to Ryuji seeing the time. The last train out from Yongen Jaya back to Shibuya station, and so everyone had to run out. Everyone split upon arriving at Shibuya, going to their own train lines back home. 

Ryuji awkwardly stood near Makoto while waiting for their train. Their train back home had a handful of times after this, so he didn’t have to leave immediately. Knowing this, he hated the tension between him and Makoto. Over the past few days, she’d been distant. They haven't texted since their conversation in Mementos. He didn’t understand it, but he wanted to. He had one problem, and it was the space between them. 

“Hey Makoto?” Ryuji said. “I gotta talk to ya, about the other night. We can come back for the train, get a drink at the diner first. I’ll pay.” 

“Yeah, let’s talk.” She was glad he asked first, since she didn’t have to make the awkward first move. She still hadn’t entirely sorted out her own feelings, but with two problems down, she was able to prioritize. Even better, she could talk to Ryuji about her current one. They walked out of the station and up into the diner. It was nearly empty, with the diner closing in an hour. They were given a booth upon entering, and they both only ordered a drink. When the waitress leaves with their order, they apologize at the same time. 

“Wait, why are you apologizing? I yelled at you and almost got us killed in Mementos.” Makoto was surprised about his immediate apology. She was frustrated with the situation, but it wasn’t his fault. 

“I yelled at ya when you were down, I shoulda just helped ya back up and gotten us outta there. I also pissed you off with the whole argument Mona and I had. I’m sure you got problems too, and I wasn’t helpin’.” The waitress brought over their drinks, and Ryuji took a sip out of his soda. 

“You were stressed, I shouldn’t have been so reckless. I was thinking about everything going on and I didn’t think about how I was going so fast. I’m also sorry for putting you on the spot like that. You’re right, your love life isn’t my business.” She plays with the straw in her drink, swirling it around so the ice lightly hits the side of the glass cup. Right now, she wasn’t really thirsty. She felt ashamed for lashing out at him.

“He was wrong, ya know. I used to wanna use it before to get girls, but I think that trip to Hawaii cleared it up for me. I just wanna get some justice for rotten adults, and if I find someone along the way, that’s cool.” Makoto internally breathed a sigh of relief. As far as she knew, he wasn’t the playboy she thought he was for a moment. He was just Ryuji, and she liked that about him. He wasn’t afraid to be himself, even in moments of crisis. 

“That seems to be the trend. First your exam scores and now your love life. Seems like you two should talk a lot more and clear up some of your issues.” She laughed, finally taking a sip of her drink. 

“Yeah right.” He laughs as well. “I can’t talk to him like I talk to you. We can actually talk through problems. I mean, we argued a few days ago but after letting things sizzle down, we can come back and be okay again.” _What does that mean?_ Makoto was confused. Yes, they talked all the time and any argument they had was usually resolved pretty quickly, but she figured it was something he always did. Maybe their friendship was stronger than she realized. No, she knew their friendship was strong. 

It was strong enough for her to want to talk to him about her own problems. Earlier this week, she had four problems. Three were solved, but one… that last problem was something she couldn’t deal with as easily. She needed help. She wanted _his_ help. 

“Ryuji, you know I trust you right?” Makoto said. 

“What do ya mean?” He asks. Her comment was random, and while he had been thinking about their friendship a lot lately, it was a random statement. At least, for him it was unexpected. 

“I talk to the others a lot, but I feel like if I needed help with something, I could trust you to keep a secret and help me.” She was being vague, really vague. Ryuji was clueless as far as where she was going. He knew it was a compliment, in a weird way. But still… In the dim lighting of the booth, he could see the deep and worried look on her face. This wasn’t a simple issue, but then again, dealing with Haru and Morgana weren’t either. So whatever was going through her mind was clearly big, and Ryuji felt good knowing she trusted him that way. 

“Makoto, just get to the chase. What’s up?” He was tired of waiting, and for her, she needed him to be this blunt. Otherwise, she was going to talk herself into circles. She didn’t want to bring it up, but she knew if it wasn’t now, then it might become a bigger problem for her in the future.

“I… I need your help with something. I did some investigating on...something... and I want to check it out. I want to go tomorrow, so if you’re free and are okay helping me -”

“I’ll help, anything you need.” He quickly says, cutting her off. Ryuji didn’t care what it was, but if she was this nervous talking to her about it, he would definitely help her out. 

“You haven’t even heard what the problem is.”

“I don’t need to.” Makoto smiles at his response. She finishes her drink, and Ryuji chugs down the rest of his. He puts the money on the table before she can. It wasn’t much, so he was happy to pay for it. It was the least he could do after causing her so much stress. 

“This is serious, I don’t know what we’re fully going into, so bring supplies. It involves the metaverse.” 

“Whoa.. I don’t know what’s going on, but whatever it is, I got your back.” He didn’t know what the problem was, but he knew it had to be big for it to involve the metaverse. The only palace they were in right now was Okumura’s, and they only went in briefly, barely starting to secure a route. So for her to plainly say the metaverse was unsettling. 

“And I got yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should hopefully be the last chapter that's not on the Monday schedule, but I'll have a better idea next week. I may end up shifting to Sundays in the future, but I'll decide as I settled down.
> 
> Also I've been so excited to get to this point!! my idea for this story all roots from the next chapter, so hopefully I'm forgiven for leaving everyone on a cliffhanger with this chapter.


	10. Worry About Me

“Thank you, come again!” The cashier says with a smile to Makoto. She had bought a number of supplies from the convenience store for her and Ryuji’s investigation. She wanted to ensure they were well prepared because it was something new for her. Since joining the Phantom Thieves, she’d mainly trusted Akira to lead the way. For once, it rested on her shoulders. Earlier that day, she texted Ryuji to meet her by the courthouse and to make sure he brought his own supplies. Walking up to the old building, she sees his blonde hair running up in the distance. 

_Okay, keep it cool. It’s going to be okay…_ Makoto repeated internally to herself. She still hadn’t told him why she wanted to help, but he was still so willing to lend a hand without knowing anything. She knew he wouldn’t run after she told him, but the nagging in the back of her head annoyed her to no end. When he finally came close enough, she knew time was ticking. 

“Let’s go behind, fewer people will see us there.” She says, gesturing to him to walk behind. The two go around the large white building, going through a small alley before hitting the back of the building. There’s a small space, with other high-rise buildings covering any outsider view. In order for anyone to find them, they’d have to come down the same alley as well. Makoto knew the chances were unlikely, but it was still better than being out in the open. She set her bag on the cement, giving her arms a break from lugging it around. He followed her lead, setting it down next to hers. 

“So… you wanna tell me what’s up?” Ryuji asks. He’d gone along with her plan blindly. He trusted her to a fault, as he’d learn to do with everything that’s happened in the palaces. Nonetheless, he didn’t want to fall into any trap. He had his guard up, in case anything were to change. 

“My sister has a palace.” Makoto bluntly said, looking down at her feet. Times up. 

“Shit… Makoto I’m sorry.” It was all Ryuji could say. What else could he say? From the little he’d interacted with his sister, he knew she was a strong woman. But he hadn’t realized she had her own distorted desires. At least, not bad enough to create a palace. He saw her looking down at her shoes, her arms crossed defensively across her chest. Her lips slightly quivered. Without thinking twice, he went up and hugged her tightly. She felt small in his arms, but it felt...right. 

“I’m sorry…” Makoto says softly. She stays still in his embrace, not wanting to lose this moment. She knew this was the calm before the storm. Keeping herself level, she manages to hold back tears for now. After a moment, he lets her go and grabs her shoulders. He looks directly at her, inches away from her face. 

“You have me, all the way. I’ll support ya. Promise.” He flashes a big smile at her, trying to cheer her up. She finally looks up at him and sees despite the smile, his eyes are also scared. Makoto takes a deep breath before nodding, pulling away from his arms. 

“She hasn’t been herself for a while now. When we came back from Hawaii… She was worse than before. I put her name in, not thinking much of it. But I got a hit.” She feels herself about to break again but pulls herself together. “...I did some investigating and figured out the other words. I haven’t gone in yet. I didn’t want to do it alone. I’m sorry, this is too risky, I shouldn't have brought you here...”

“No, I can tell you want this. We’re goin’ in.” He picks up their bags, lugging one on each shoulder. “Even if we don’t get far, we’ll do as much as we can. We got each other’s back and a shit ton of supplies. We do what we can.” Makoto hesitates before taking her phone out. She puts in the keywords but doesn’t hit enter just yet. He pulls out his phone, copying the words onto his own.

“Ryuji…”

“If you change your mind, it’s okay. We can always come back with the rest of the gang.” Ryuji knew he had to choose his words carefully right now. He could tell she wanted nothing more than to go inside and see what her sister’s desires created. At the same time, she was scared of what she’d find inside. It was scary for him too, but he couldn’t imagine the pressure she was under. She presses enter, and he follows her lead. After a moment of adjustment, they enter Sae’s palace. 

Skull and Queen are welcomed by bright fluorescent lights. There’s a tall building where the courthouse once was, and standing before them is a large casino. On the side of the building, they see a large gavel with the words ‘winner’ and ‘justice’ largely around it. There’s a tall woman in the middle holding a scale, with one side carried down with the word ‘win’. Everywhere else, there’s bright brilliant lighting in all colors along the windows and side of the building. It’s breathtaking to look at, and under normal circumstances, might’ve been fun to see in reality. But this wasn’t a vacation, it was an investigation. 

“Shit, she really decorated the place up,” Skulls says, not taking his eyes off of the lights. 

“We should go, I don’t want to risk us getting caught,” Queen says, catching his attention.

“It’s not too late. We ain’t trigger any shadows yet.” He says suddenly, turning his head to face her. “If you don’t wanna go any further, I don’t want you to get upset. I get a feeling we might see some things ya won’t like in there. You come first.” Ryuji… Queen can’t recall the last time she felt this cared for by someone. She used to think it was just her sister, but after hearing him say that, she can’t help but feel attached to him. Honestly, she didn’t want to go inside. But she had to know what lurked inside. What her sister looked like as a ruler, what her desires had turned into. 

“I appreciate the concern… But, I need to know what’s inside.” He nods at her response, and the two look for a way in. 

Queen spots a vent up on the second story, and they climb up along the side of the building. When they reach the vent, she kicks at it in the corner and it unhinges itself from one side. From there, Skulls pulls on the other and moves it enough to free it. They set the vent door to the side and go in. She decides to go in first, looking down for openings as they come along. The first opening looks down at a blackjack table. She can’t really see beyond the table but sees hands going back and forth. Moving forward, the second opening is near a door. People go through it back and forth, and Queen knows it’s not the safest area to jump into. 

It takes a few vents before she sees something interesting. It looks like an empty hallway, with posters on the walls. She stays still, looking down to see if anyone makes an appearance. When no one does, she looks at the screws on the vent. She’s surprised to see how loose they are, and she can pull them all off with her hands. She quietly pulls the vent gate off, setting it on the other side of her. Moving slightly forward, she goes feet first down to the floor. She quickly looks around her. With no one around, she calls Skull down. He’s a little less graceful with his fall, but he makes it down still making little noise. 

“Where are we?” He asks. 

“I think we’re in the back since the other openings were the casino itself. Let’s see what we can find while we’re here.” Queen says, looking around to pick a direction. 

“You won’t have to go very far.” The voice echoes in the hallways. Queen isn’t sure where it comes from, but a chill goes up her back. She knows that voice anywhere. 

“Don’t answer,” Queen says, moving herself to be back to back with Skull, getting herself ready for any potential combat. “She knows we’re here, that doesn’t mean she knows where we are, or who we are.” She could feel her heart jumping out of her chest. It was too soon, too quick. They barely had a chance to look around the palace. Suddenly, a shadow turns the corner, standing in an intersection of the hallways in front of Queen. Not long after, another shadow appears in the intersection in front of Skull. 

“My guards will bring you to me. If you fight back, I’ll have them kill you. Thieves are not tolerated in my palace.” Her voice is like knives, hurting their ears. 

“Let’s get’em.” Skull whispers, turning his head slightly towards Queen. 

“No, we don’t know how strong they are, we gotta do what she says for now. We can’t risk a fight right now.” Queen hisses back. Reluctantly, they raise their arms in surrender. The shadows approach them, cuffing their hands behind them. They’re taken down similar hallways, with the same words repeating over and over again on the walls. 

_Double-faced_   
_Winner takes all_   
_Victory addiction_   
_Black and White_   
_Success, Success, Success_

Queen didn’t know what it meant, but it had to do with how she developed a palace. Phrases like that didn’t make much sense to her, but it signified Sae’s distortion to her. Her sister was likely trapped in her own desire to succeed in her job. She was under a lot of pressure at work, constantly trying to be the best one there. But Queen didn’t know how it correlated into a casino. Maybe her answer would come face to face when she saw her sister. 

Finally, they reach an opening, and the shadows take the pair into an opening. There are two grand staircases along the wall leading up to the second floor. In the middle of the room, there’s a tube going up, something Queen chalked up to be an elevator to further floors. The inside was as gaudy as the outside, with red carpeting and gold accents everywhere. In the middle of the room stood a distorted Sae, dressed in a long black dress and elegant hat. Her normally brown eyes were a piercing gold, matching the accents around her. She shooed the guards away from Queen and Skull, and the shadows pushed them to their knees. The bags slip off of Ryuji’s shoulders, falling to the ground. 

“Well well, what do we have here? Have anything to say for yourselves?” Sae asks, hands on her hips. She stares at Skull before moving her eyes to Queen. She spends a little too long looking at her, squatting down to make eye contact with her. Queen does her best to look away, not wanting Sae to know her true identity. She reaches out to take off her mask.

“Oh no,” Skull says under his breath. He knew whatever was coming wouldn’t end well, for anyone involved. Suddenly, Sae lifts Queen’s mask up, and her eyes get wide before a wicked smile crosses her face. 

“Would you look at that, it’s my useless fucking sister!” Sae laughs, tightly grabbing her sister’s chin and pulling her up to make eye contact. “When my guards saw something, I didn’t think it’d be a disappointment like yourself. Well, say something!” 

Queen felt her body go numb. She couldn’t move or say anything. All she could do was listen to her sister and the statements she made. She’d been working to overcome all the negativity she’d encountered prior to becoming a Phantom Thief. She always had a hard time managing her own self-esteem, and now when she was starting to feel confident in her own skin, it was all crumbling down. 

_what...?_

“What?” Was all she could muster together. Sae’s cackle was a noise she would have stuck in her head forever. The sound of her sister bringing her down, yet again. Sae let go of her sister’s chin, pushing her back. Queen falls on her back, staring up at the flashy ceiling above. 

_What am I supposed to do?_

“God, I bet you didn’t even realize what a burden you were until you came and saw everything I could become without people like you getting in my way. It’s beautiful, isn’t it.” She opens her arms out wide gesturing to the palace around her. “But no, you little brats, you just want to keep getting in my way and waste my time, don’t you?”

“Shut up!” Skull shouted. Sae stood there, unimpressed with his outburst. “What are ya gonna do, just get it over with!” 

Sae rolls her eyes. “Me? Nothing.” She points to Queen. “You and your little friend aren’t worth the fight. I’ll talk to you two when you bring the real Phantom Thieves with you.” She turns around, walking back to the elevator. Glancing behind her, she spots the bags. She snaps, getting the guard’s attention and pointing to the bags. They uncuff them and grab both bags. 

“What are you doin’? Give that back!” Skull barks, standing back up. He pulls out his bat, going to hit the shadow. It triggers its true form, a shadow neither of them had seen before. 

“Bring the team to me… if you live.” Sae says, stepping into the elevator. She goes up and disappears from view. Queen gets back on her knees, her eyes looking up at the elevator, still too shocked to do anything besides take in all the information. Skull sees she’s not moving, and he reaches down to her arms to shake her. 

Queen hears Skull’s voice, but everything sounded so distant. 

_Useless…_   
_Burden…_   
_Disappointment..._   
_It's all me..._

“Queen wake up we gotta fight! They took our shit come on!” He shouts at her, shaking her over and over until she finally snaps to. Queen gets up from the floor and massages her wrists from the cuffs. She still had the pain in her back from a few days prior, but she had to ignore it. These were new personas, and she’d be damned if she didn’t try to fight back. The other shadow reveals its true form, and the four begin to fight. 

It didn't take long for Queen to realize her bag was missing, but based on the anger in Skull’s face, she didn’t want to ask about it. All she could think about was her sister - no, that wasn’t her sister. She knew her true sister wouldn’t call her all those things. But she thinks back to the few times Sae’s stress got to her, and she let lines like that slip. It only happened recently, and she always apologized. She was so open with Queen about it here, and no apology either….

“Queen!” Skull shouted. She gasped, seeing the impact of an attack come right to her. She braced herself for the attack, before seeing Skull jump in front of her, taking the hit. He shouted in pain, dropping to his knees. She immediately heals him, and he springs back into action. _I need to focus, I’m going to die here… My god, I’m going to die here, aren’t I?_ She goes for an attack, finally killing one of the shadows. It leaves her fatigued, but she has to keep going. She knew the other one was weak, but she felt her energy slipping. Together, maybe they could do something. 

“Skull, showtime, now,” Queen says angrily. He nods, and the two spring into action. 

“No more waiting!” 

“Leave the rest to me!” The two run forward, with Skull holding his weapon for Queen to jump on. She bounces off the bat, flying high into the air. For a second, she feels weightless….until she comes crashing back down. She kills the shadow with a single hit, but the impact of a strong attack when they were both weak hits them immediately. Skull collapses onto the floor, breathing hard. Queen sits next to him, hyperventilating. Everything that happened prior to the attack hits him, and he forces himself to flip to his knees. He moves over to stand in front of her, feeling his bones aching. He takes off his mask, putting it on his head to look at her better. Her lip was quivering, but this time her eyes looked like she was ready to cry. 

“Are you okay?” She asks him. 

“No, are you?” He says. She doesn’t say anything else, weakly lifting her arm. He feels himself getting healed. For a moment, he feels great, but the realization of her healing him is clear. “Wait, no what are you doin’?” 

“Get me out of here… please.” Queen sees the room spinning before she falls into him. _What’s going on…_

“Queen… Makoto…?” She quietly breathes, and despite carefully shaking her, he knows she’s fainted from the attack. He adjusts her carefully, making sure he can carry her in his arms. “Please wake up…” Her eyes stay closed. He holds back tears of his own, pulling himself to his feet. He starts running towards the main door, different from the side door they were brought into. Kicking down the door, he realizes he’s in the main game room and recognizes a large door at the other side of the room. 

Skull moves through the crowd, pushing anyone that gets in his way. He can’t see anything clearly beside the exit before him. All he sees is red, and the anger he feels toward Sae’s statements. None of them were true, but based on Queen's reaction, she must’ve seen herself that way. She wasn’t useless, or a disgrace, or a burden. She was incredible, kind, smart, caring, and the words continued in his mind. All the words he wanted to tell her. 

“Fucking move!” He yells at a couple in front of the door. He kicks the front doors open and runs down the concrete away from the palace. 

They had returned to reality, back behind the courthouse. Ryuji sat on the floor against the back wall of the courthouse. He breathed a sigh of relief towards the sky, before looking back down at Makoto. She was still passed out, laying on his lap. He looked up and down on her body, not spotting any new cuts or bruises in obvious spots. She was more than fine, looking untouched in the attack. If she hadn’t healed him, they both would’ve passed out in the palace, and he might’ve had some serious arm pain. He brings his hand up to her face to get a better look, making sure there was nothing there. Besides the cut from a few days ago healing, she was fine. He caresses her face, enjoying how peacefully she looked after all the chaos. It wouldn’t last as soon as she woke up. 

“Makoto?” He says quietly. Her eyes flutter open, and he starts to tear up. “Oh thank god.” 

“Ry-Ryuji… I’m so tired…” Makoto says, sounding half asleep. 

“I’ll take ya home.” He carefully helps her up, with her leaning against him. “I can’t take ya on the train like this.” He walks them over to the curb, and scrolls through his phone looking for a taxi phone number. After not finding one on his phone, he quickly looks one up and calls. It’s a short wait, and the two enter the taxi. Makoto stumbles into the taxi, even with Ryuji helping her. The driver gives them a dirty look, which Ryuji chooses to ignore. 

Once they’re in, he gives the driver Makoto’s address. She leans against him the whole way there, wrapping herself around his body. He pulls his arm through and puts it around Makoto’s shoulders. He lets her rest, knowing the turmoil her body was put through. Despite the terrible situation, he was surprised how comfortable he was around her to do this. Even more so, he knew she normally wouldn’t let anyone get this close to her. _She's out of it, don't get your hopes up._ He looks out the window, seeing the cars pass them by. It takes about twenty minutes for them to get back, and once he sees they're turning the corner, he lightly pushes her off. 

"Hey wake up, we're almost there." He says, trying his best not to scare her. Makoto slowly wakes up and sits up straight against the back of the seat. Ryuji is sure she hasn't realized she has cuddled up against him the whole ride there. He pays the driver more than he anticipates before the taxi goes off again. Makoto fumbles with her keys at first before opening the door. She's still struggling to get a grip on reality but is beginning to piece herself back together. When she opens the door, the lights are off and the living room coffee table is covered in papers. 

"She must be out working. Come in." Makoto finally speaks. At this moment, she can't think of her sister's name. Not for a lack of trying, but she can't put the name and face together, at least not right now. She flips the light switch, lighting the place back up.

Ryuji hesitates before stepping into the small home. It's much nicer and larger than his home, with up to date furniture. The kitchen is surprisingly big as well, with its side table and chairs. She sits on the larger couch in the living room, finally starting to feel like herself, and the wave of emotions comes crashing down. 

Makoto is surprised to see she can't remember everything about her experience in the palace. There are gaps she remembers, words flying around, Ryuji's concern but nothing concrete. She definitely can't remember the trip back to her house, feeling like she woke up in the back of the taxi cuddled up to Ryuji - 

"I'm so sorry I shouldn't have grabbed onto you like on the way here." Makoto quickly says, trying to calm herself down. She notices Ryuji is still standing by the door nervously. "You should sit down too." 

He takes the cue, walking over to the couch on the opposite side of her. Honestly, he didn't care about her grabbing him on the way back. All he cared about right now was her. 

"Are you okay? I'm pretty shaken up after that, I can't imagine how you’re doing'."

"Me? I feel fine, I think." She's not fine, but now was not the time to fix her. The last lingering problem already semi-solved: going to her sister's palace… and she did it. So why wasn't she happy? 

"I shouldn't stay long, it's gettin' late and we have a big day tomorrow." He gets up, walking over to the door. In a moment of panic, Makoto's thoughts come out. 

"Wait don't leave me!" The words spill out of her, her thoughts out in the open. Ryuji turns to see her, and she finally breaks. She starts crying, holding her hands up to her face to hide it. She feels Ryuji come up and hug her again. They stay in that position for a few minutes before she's able to stop herself from crying. 

It hurt, a lot. Whatever happened in there, the things she can't quite piece together yet, must've been bad enough for her to beg him to stay and stop crying. Makoto wasn't sure what was wrong with her, but she knew it wasn't going to be fixed with a night's sleep. 

"I'll stay as long as ya want me to, promise." Ryuji says. He lets her go, walking back over to the other couch again. "We don't gotta talk about it right now, let's talk about somethin' else." 

Makoto gives a small smile, wiping the last of her tears away. They talk about video games for a long time. Since Makoto never had her own system, she was unfamiliar with a lot of the titles he was talking about. But it was a welcome distraction from everything. She learns about the video game he based their team attack on, his favorite game. Before she knows it, two hours pass. She realizes he can't stay here forever, as much as she needed someone here with her. 

"You should head home, I've kept you here too long." Makoto sounds like herself again, appearing impacted from the events earlier today. Ryuji knew she wasn't ready, but his mom had already texted him once asking where he was. He lied, saying he was out with friends, but he didn't want to lie again. 

"If ya need someone, just text or call me. I'll pick up." They both stand up this time, and when he loops around to the door, she initiates the hug. It's the first time where she's actually hugged him back, and he takes the opportunity to close the loop and wrap his arms around her. 

"Thank you, for everything." She pulls away from him, feeling more comfortable in his presence than ever before. "After everything that's happened, can you make me a promise?"

"Anything." 

"Don't tell anyone about today. I'm not ready to talk about this with the others yet. We both know it'll come up again… but for now, promise me you won't tell the others. Deal?" The look in Makoto's eyes can cut a knife. He's frightened for a split second, but nods. She needed time, and he'd give her all the time she needed after this chaos. 

"Deal. Got it, I'll see ya. Remember, if you need me, just say it." Ryuji says, walking out of her home. The door closes behind his back. Looking at the time, he realizes he has to run to make the last train. He runs, catching it without a second to spare. To him, it feels weird that he has to act normal again. Nothing ever really felt normal. It was something he hadn't felt since he went into Kamoshida's palace and awakened to his persona. It was that reality isn't ever as peaceful as seems. 

As the only one in his train car, Ryuji felt that weird transcendence. He didn't feel like he was fully out of the palace, and didn't give himself time to think until he ran off the train and back to his apartment. After a quick greeting to his worried mother, he went to the bathroom to take a shower. Still, he doesn't let it all sit until he's finally changed and back in his bed. He sighed, feeling like he could properly breathe again after leaving the palace. 

He thought about Makoto, and how much closer they had gotten today. He thinks of everything he wanted to tell her when Sae was berating her. She wasn't useless, she was wonderful and full of life. She was strong and independent. She yells at him sometimes, but he knew it was because she cared about him. She was kind and patient, something he always saw whenever she spent extra time tutoring him on subjects he couldn't grasp. When she held onto him, he didn't want her to let go. He could see her eyes clearly, her caring face smiling at him. 

The realization hits him all at once, and it was worse when he knew it came to him because of the mess of the day. All of these feelings meant one thing.

Ryuji liked Makoto. 

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday everyone! Tomorrow morning I move 400 miles from home, but I'm really happy I got this chapter out before I did move. 
> 
> So Ryukoto headcannon: Makoto went in earlier to Sae's palace, taking Ryuji with her but they don't get very far since this is right at the beginning of Okumura's palace so they're not strong enough, plus with just two people it's not a good idea. But obviously two people with somewhat impulsive tendencies can be a disaster. The idea really got stuck in my head, and it just turned into 100k words over like 12 google docs (which we're like 30k into with this chapter).
> 
> Also some of the tags are gonna start to make more sense (aka ANGST).


	11. mad woman

Every night for the next week, Makoto wakes up in a cold sweat. It’s not the exact same dream every time, but it always ends the same way: her death to Sae’s hand in the palace. She doesn’t remember what happened, but the dream distorts the little memory she has of it over the course of the week. Whenever she wakes up, she goes to write down her dream. She’s not sure how it’ll help, but she has a feeling the nightmares are all connected in a way besides their common ending. 

During the week, she sees Sae a handful of times. The first time startled her, as she came home from school to see Sae getting ready to leave yet again, four days after the palace visit. The conversation is short, better for Makoto this way. The entire time in their five-minute conversation, she hides her left hand behind her. She keeps it in a fist, in an attempt to keep the stress in one spot compared to the rest of her body. When Sae leaves and she’s alone in the house again, she breathes a sigh of relief. Pulling her hand from behind her, she sees her knuckles white from the pressure of her stress. 

_I can’t do this forever, I have to fix this somehow… but how?_

Makoto thinks long and hard about a fix, but nothing possible at that moment comes to mind. After all, she can’t exactly tell anyone about the trauma she endured, and the only one who knew was Ryuji. In the end, she decides to try and let time pass it. At the eight-day mark, she finally has a dreamless sleep, and it’s the best night of sleep she had since the encounter. Every day that week, Ryuji checks in on her. It’s nothing significant, sometimes it’s a short text or a passing question in the hallways at school, but it's enough to remind her that it actually happened. Despite the nightmares where she stands alone against Sae and her army of shadows, he was actually there. 

As traumatizing as it was, she continues to put her energy into her schoolwork and the Phantom Thieves’ palace visits. For the most part, she looks almost normal. At least, she’s pretty sure she was. It isn’t until she gets a slightly lower grade than normal back on a quiz she’d taken earlier in the week. It was still an A, but a low A. Comparatively, she was used to nearly perfecting her exams. She notices it again when she’s tutoring Ryuji, and he’s the one to correct her. 

“...I’m wrong, yeah you’re right it was 1785.” After Sae’s palace, they both agreed to move their study sessions to Makoto’s apartment to make things easier for her. Her sister was never there right after school, making an appearance at 8 pm the earliest and it was only 5 pm. 

“Okay, what’s up? You never get this shit wrong.” Ryuji says, leaning back in his chair. There were papers scattered everywhere when normally Makoto was far more organized. For once, he felt as though his notes were better grouped together. 

“It’s just an off day, I’m fine.” She lies, hoping he doesn’t catch her. Based on his face, she knows it wasn’t a successful fib. 

Ryuji had been keeping tabs on her after she broke down crying. He would text her, and sometimes she wouldn’t answer until 2 or 3 in the morning. She had developed dark circles under eyes, and she was unusually quiet during strategy meetings, only providing ideas when spoken to. In their most recent visit to Okumura’s palace, she was nearly knocked out against a shadow, something she wouldn’t normally struggle with. 

“You’re lying.” He says bluntly. “Do you wanna talk about Sae’s palace?” The question makes her heart pound. She feels beads of sweat at the top of her forehead, thankfully hidden behind her bangs. More obviously, she grips the edge of the table. His eyes move down to see her hands. 

“I think you should leave.” She says quietly, looking towards the door. 

“Makoto you can’t -”

“I can’t talk about it yet!” She shouts, aggressively standing out her seat. The chair falls behind her, slamming against the kitchen tile. He gasps, unsure of what to do next. There was nothing he could say right now would make her feel better. All he could do was watch as she tormented herself, and as much as it killed him, he started to pack his stuff. While packing, he thinks about the words he can say without triggering her more. He puts his backpack against his back, quietly thankful he didn’t take his school backpack into the palace. Slowly, he gets out of his chair.

“When you’re ready to talk again, I’ll be there. For now though, maybe we should stop tutoring and working out.” It was simple: giving her a break when she needed it most. They should have started with it, but Makoto thought she was strong enough to not let her emotions get to her. She was wrong. 

“I’m sorry, I know you have that test coming up -”

“I’ll study on my own. I had a great tutor teach me how.” He decides to try a joke, complimenting her at the same time. She finally gets a smile through. “There you go.” He mumbles under his breath. 

“I still need some time to process everything, I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have to apologize for thinkin’ about yourself.” He starts walking to the door. 

“Ryuji?” She says, his hand on the doorknob. He turns around and sees her. Her lip quivers slightly, but he decides to ignore it. If she was going to burst, she probably didn’t want him around right now. “Thank you.” 

“Yeah.” He smiles, finally opening the door and stepping away. As the door clicks closed, the realization comes to her. 

Makoto is ashamed. 

She should have done more in the palace, in fact, she could have done more in the palace. If she had fought back more, maybe she would have prevented their doom. Whatever happened, whether it was losing her bag of supplies in the palace when she looked for it later, or her waking up with an unclear mind, she could have prevented it. If things had gone differently, she would’ve felt confident enough in talking with the other Phantom Thieves about what she had discovered. 

But that wasn’t what happened. 

_I ruined this trip, and it's going to ruin our inevitable trip back into the palace._

\--

Makoto continues to feel empty the following week, but every day, she feels herself getting a little better. Some days she can smile. There’s one day where she swears she’s a normal person again before she’s reminded of her mistakes, but each day is easier than the last. She feels time flying, and before she knows it, the Phantom Thieves have successfully traversed through the palace. They plan a simple calling card, having Haru indirectly place the card on his desk at home. 

On the day of the calling card, nearly a week since her conversation with Ryuji, Makoto starts to finally feel like a person again. In school earlier that day, she gets another quiz grade back, with the grades back to her normal standard. She chalks off her one lower grade as an anomaly but doesn’t remain confident with herself. Instead, she goes about her day nervous to fight Okumura in the palace. All things considered, she found herself worse than Haru. Makoto thinks about this on her commute to Okumura foods for hopefully the last time. 

She was amazed at how easily she seemed to adapt to the situation. Granted, with her own issues, she was texting Haru less and less these days. But in the palace, it was like Haru was a different person as Noir. It was something she was excited to see every time she went in, a small light in her stressful days. When jumping off the train and starting the walk to the building, she remembers Ryuji. 

Makoto was confident in him actually studying. Right before Sae’s palace, he’d surprised her with a B+ on a recent quiz. He was a few points off from an A, but she was amazed at the progress he’d made over the last few months. He’d gone from a slacker not knowing the difference between simple math equations to maintaining a high C-low B average in all his classes. _And I pushed him away._ Makoto groans, wanting to return back to normal. She ached for a simpler time, back when the worst of her problems was accidentally seeing Ryuji shirtless. 

In the distance, she sees her friends grouped up together. It looks as though she’s the last one there, so once they spot her, she pulls out her phone to make the transition into the metaverse. Everyone seemingly follows, and they’re brought right outside Okumura’s palace. Joker takes them to the safe room closest to the treasure to go over the plan for this fight. 

“...And with that, does anyone have any questions?” Joker asks the group. With more teammates than ever before, they started nearly filling the safe rooms. There wasn’t as much space around the table anymore, and Queen often found herself bumping shoulders with someone. 

“Did you have a preference on who should jump in if needed?” Queen asks. It was the first time since starting the palace that she questioned something in their plans. 

“You, actually. You can fill in for just about anyone if needed until we can revive someone else. If something changes, I’ll say it. Anyone else?” Joker responds. Queen nods, taking in the information. There are no other questions, and the group leaves to fight Okumura. 

From there, the fight is much smoother than they anticipate. In fact, it’s likely the easiest boss they’ve encountered… well, ever. Queen is surprised at how smooth it goes, without a single problem along the way. Every single attempt at a technical or critical hit is successful, and there’s little healing needed among the party. Even their escape is effortless, with Joker having spotted a shortcut back to the entrance on their last visit. For Queen, it was the win she needed. Sure, she’d beaten shadows while in this palace, but it wasn’t like beating a palace ruler. 

The short trip meant Makoto could catch an earlier train. After debriefing with the team and going their separate ways, she hears Haru calling out to her. She stops her walk, waiting for Haru to jog up and catch up to her. 

“Hi Mako-chan! How are you doing?” Haru asked. 

“I’m fine, I think I’ve finally gotten a better handle on my sleep schedule,” Makoto answered. She had been very vague with Haru about her. All she knew was that she hadn’t been sleeping well these past two weeks. 

“I can tell, you seemed a little happier this time in the palace.” 

“Yeah, it’s been nice sleeping again. I did much better on my recent exam as well, so I’m assuming the worst has passed.” _Lies._ She knew it was far from over, but she had to lie. Thankfully, Haru wasn’t as observant with Makoto’s physical ticks when she lied like Ryuji was. 

“That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!” She smiled. If there was anything she wished she had from Haru, it was her positivity. “Anyway, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over this weekend. I’ve invited Ann and Futaba as well. I want to get to know you all better if I’m going to be a part of the Phantom Thieves!”

Initially, Makoto wanted to say no. The last thing she wanted was to go out and hang with her friends. However, she knew if she wanted to continue feeling normal, she needed to act like she was. She had to fake her way through until she felt better. 

“Yeah, sounds like fun.” Makoto smiled, giving her a thumbs up. 

“Hooray! I’ll message everyone to establish a date and time. This will be so much fun!” The two talked on their way back to the train. She was surprised to not have run into Ryuji, but she had asked for space. She was… surprised at how much she missed talking to him. He had done exactly what she asked him to. He hadn’t messaged her or tried talking to her outside of something Phantom Thieves related. Even more surprising, he hadn’t texted her any school-based questions. 

In reality, Ryuji was restless. 

He’d gone the opposite way to avoid Makoto on their way back home. It was a longer route, and it meant taking the next train, but he was dedicated to giving her as much time as needed. He’d only recently come to terms for his feelings for her. He could confidently say that he had a crush to her, but only to himself. In his thoughts. He couldn’t take himself seriously when he tried in the mirror at home, an interesting change for him. Every day, he wanted to text her, ask her about her day and reassure her that everything was going to be okay. At the same time, he didn’t want to push her to feel bad. He already made that mistake once, and the last thing he needed was to do it again. 

For him, going the long way meant walking alongside Yusuke, who lived on the opposite side of the city compared to some of the others. 

“Ryuji, may I ask you for your opinion?” Yusuke suddenly says, breaking the comfortable silence they had. 

“Sure, what’s up?” Ryuji answers. Yusuke takes a deep breath in and out before following up his question. 

“How do you know when a girl has feelings for you?” 

Ryuji gasps. “IS THIS THE GIRL YOU TEXTED IN HAWAII?” He was ecstatic for his friend. As weird as his friend was, he was happy to see he might’ve found someone. 

“...Perhaps. The person in question doesn’t matter. How can I assess if her feelings are true?” Ryuji pondered the question for a second. He considered his own feelings for Makoto, thinking about how he finally put the pieces together, but he realized that wasn’t answering his question.

“I dunno. I guess if she wants to spend more time with you, or if she texts you all the time. If she says she trusts you, or maybe she looks at you funny.” Ryuji said, pulling all the ideas out of thin air. He wasn’t sure if any of them would help him, but he figured it might at least guide him in the right direction. 

“I see, so if they start acting oddly around you, that’s a sign?” 

“Uh, I guess? Dude, I’ve never been in a relationship. Why ain’t you asking Akira?” Ryuji asked. Yusuke furrowed his brows. 

“I don’t think I’d want to ask someone who was loudly arguing with their girlfriend in public.” _They got into an argument? When did this happen? I gotta talk to the guy..._ Ryuji had been so focused on Makoto, he hadn’t had a chance to talk much with Akira. He figured they were still in a good place this whole time, but something must’ve happened between the Hawaii trip and now. 

“Shit, what happened?” 

Yusuke shrugs. “‘I’m not sure, I saw them yelling at each other a few days ago at the train station. I couldn’t tell the context, nor was I truly interested enough in their problems. Either way, you can see why I decided against asking Akira.” 

“Yeah, I gotcha.” _It’s been awhile._ They reach the train station, and they separate. Before heading down into a spotty signal, he texts Akira to hang out this weekend. He’s surprised how quick he is to respond and agreeing on a time and place. If he couldn’t help Makoto right now with her problems, maybe he could help his best friend through his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday! Most of my classes are in person but I go to zoom university on Monday's, so we're gonna stick to the Mondays :) If you're also going to school in person like I am, please take care of yourself! Social distancing, masks, vitamins, etc. 
> 
> Alright that's enough real life stuff, thanks for reading! :D


	12. Somebody To Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick thank you to everyone who's still with me on this story! I have other stuff planned that ties in with this story that I'm hoping to put out when it's ready (since this is the first in a series ~~hopefully~~ ) But this chapter also sets up some more plot stuff coming as soon as the next chapter, yaaay

When Makoto received Haru’s address, she knew wherever it was, it had to be a rich neighborhood in Tokyo. Her father made millions of dollars with Big Bang Burger, and as heiress to his empire, she’d likely grown up surrounded by wealth. As she expected, it was the tallest building on its street, in a penthouse looking over the city. She’s a little nervous going up the elevator, not because of the glass windows surrounding three of the four sides, but of talking with her friends. The last time she did something like this, it was only her and Ann. A lot had changed over the last couple of months, but she appreciated having more people in the group, especially since she got along well with everyone. 

The door opens to an extravagant lobby, with nothing but small plants on tall end tables leading to a grand double door. She walks forward, her steps a lot louder on the marble floor than she anticipated. She reaches the door and sees a high tech doorbell next to it. Pressing the bell, she hears the chimes and footsteps come from inside. It’s a moment before Haru flings open the door with a big smile. 

“Hi Mako-chan! I’m so happy you’re here.” Haru says, stepping to the side to let Makoto pass through. Just from stepping into the living room, she deduces the one room is the size of her entire shared apartment with Sae. On a large couch in the middle room, Ann sat texting on her phone. She looked up, waving at Makoto. 

“Hi guys. Haru, you have a lovely home from the little I’ve seen so far.” Makoto says, her eyes still looking around the place. There were hallways on both sides of the rooms, stretching somewhere she couldn’t see from there. She went and sat on the other couch across from Ann, with Haru walking over to the kitchen. 

“Are you hungry or thirsty?” Haru asks. 

“Just water is fine for now.” Makoto answers, but then remembers about her father. “Haru, is your father home?” 

Haru shakes her head. “He said he wanted to leave the space to me. Since the change of heart, he’s been acting odd. He’s much kinder now, but I still feel strange talking to him.” Makoto knew the process based on earlier conversations with Yusuke and Ryuji. After they changed someone’s heart, they were always off. Madarame kept his distance and Kamoshida put himself under suspension, both opting to stay away from others. Granted, she had no idea how Kaneshiro handled it, and Futaba was deep in a coma. Okumura was the first real change of heart she could somewhat see first hand. 

Ann puts her phone away and stretches her arms up in the air, reaching for a cup of tea on the coffee table before saying, “Futaba texted me, she’s not coming anymore.” 

“I hope everything is okay with her.” Haru responds, walking back over with Makoto’s cup of water. She hands it off to her and sits on the armchair on the other end of the coffee table. 

“She says she’s fine. I don’t think it’s serious, but she doesn’t seem like the type of blow-off something last minute.” Ann said inquisitively. “Anyway, what’s up with you guys? I feel like my life is a mess right now.” Makoto raises one of her eyebrows. From the outside, it seemed like Ann had been doing well in her life. She was dating Akira, had a good side hustle as a model, and seemed to be doing well in school. 

“What do you mean?” Makoto asks. Ann grabs one of the cushions on the couch, hugging it against her chest. 

“Well, Akira has been so stressed out lately. It’s hard to talk to him without feeling like I’m bothering him. We got into a pretty big argument recently too, it was over something stupid too. It just kinda escalated and we haven’t really talked all that much since then. There’s also... Other problems but I have no idea how to deal with them.” 

“Are you comfortable talking about it? You don’t look okay, Ann.” Haru says, leaning over to lightly rub her back before moving back to her chair. 

“Yeah, it’s just… When I’m not spending time with the Phantom Thieves or Akira, I’ve been hanging out with Shiho now she’s gotten better. And honestly? I think I might like her. Obviously I’m not gonna do anything until I figure out my feelings, but I feel like I’m leading Akira on.” 

Makoto sat there with her mouth opened, shocked that Ann had a complicated love life, more than it really appeared on the surface. She considered Ann’s problem, but couldn’t offer up any real advice. It made her think about her own problems with Sae’s palace. She couldn’t really say it was any better or worse than hers, since to Ann, this was likely killing her inside the same way Sae’s palace tormented her. One thing she knew for sure was that she wasn't bringing up the palace to them. 

“I’m sorry Ann, is there any way we can help you?” Haru asked, and Ann shook her head. 

“No, honestly just giving me a space to get this off my chest is great. The only thing I can really do right now is just figure out who I want to be with: Akira or Shiho. Even then, I don’t know if Shiho likes me that way.” Ann trails off, before picking herself back up to her usual chipper tone. “So what’s going on with you guys now that my problems are out in the air?”

“I think we all know the turmoil of my life recently,” Haru laughs, before getting a more serious tone. “As I said earlier, it’s been strange seeing my father’s personality change essentially overnight. Sugimura has also kept his distance at my father’s request. I’m hoping he may break the engagement, but I don’t know yet.” 

When the Phantom Thieves became heavily involved with the Okumura’s, one thing everyone agreed on was their hatred towards Haru’s fiancé, Sugimura. When they encountered him in the alleyway, it was the only time she’d seen Ryuji get so angry she could’ve sworn she saw red in his eyes. _Ryuji… I should text him when I get home._ Makoto makes a mental reminder to herself. 

“I hope it works out, to put it lightly, he’s garbage and he doesn’t deserve you.” Ann bluntly says, making Haru laugh. 

“I appreciate it. I wish he was a better man, I’m sure he has a shadow lurking somewhere in Mementos.” Haru laughs. Despite Haru laughing at the statement, the idea of getting back at someone like that made her excited. They should go after Sugimura. It wasn’t a big target by any means, so it likely didn’t require a unanimous vote, much less cooperation from the whole team. Besides, if the original team of four could handle Mementos requests before anyone else joined, why couldn’t the four girls as well?

“Then let’s do it.” Makoto says seriously. “We don’t need the boys to do it, we can text Futaba about it too. I’m sure if we type up his name -” Makoto starts to pull up.

“Wa-wait! We don’t even know if he -” Haru begins protesting before hearing target found come up on Makoto’s phone. “Is… is he in Mementos?” Haru and Ann get up, each taking up a spot next to Makoto. They look at her phone, seeing the application indicate he was indeed in Mementos. He wasn’t as low as some of their most recent targets, but going in thinking it will be an easy task is a mistake. 

“Looks like we can actually do this. We have the location and everything. We’d just have to plan -” Makoto is cut off by the sound of a notification from her phone. On the upper half of her screen, she sees a text message from Ryuji:

Ryuji: Hey, how are you doin’? I kinda miss the studying sessions tbh, I just-

_Well, here comes the questions_

The rest is cut off since it’s just a preview, but the embarrassment is inevitable. Despite her attempt to both help Haru get revenge and avoid talking about her own problems, Ryuji gave her up by accident. The timing couldn’t have been worse, with Ann and Haru looking directly at the phone, and as a result, the message from Ryuji. 

“No way!” Ann excitedly exclaims. “Makoto you gotta spill!” 

“It’s nothing, I promise!” Makoto attempts to defend herself, but even she couldn’t believe herself. 

“So when you told me in Hawaii you two weren’t dating after coming back with his sweater-” 

“Oh my god, you have his sweater? And you got in Hawaii? That was like a month ago, how long have you two been a thing?

“Ryuji and I are not dating,” Makoto says. She surprised how much it pains her to say that, nearly forcing it out of herself. 

“Yeah, I totally don’t believe you.” Ann laughs as well, and Makoto turns red. 

“It’s kind of complicated. I needed some space and so we haven’t talked for like a week, but I was planning on texting him after we were done here.” Makoto silences her phone and puts it back into her pocket. All she wanted to do was read the rest of the message but she had already embarrassed herself enough. 

“Mako-chan, do you like Ryuji?” Haru asks. _Ah, here we go._ It felt like hours as Makoto’s brain tried to piece together her own feelings. She’d gone back and forth, nothing really solidifying in her mind. 

“I’m not sure. I really enjoy his company. I feel like I can talk to him about anything and he won’t judge me for it.” It’s not a straight answer, and she prefers to keep it that way. 

“Looks like we both got some feelings to sort out right?” Ann laughs. “It sucks, but it’s nice knowing I’m not the only one having love problems.” 

“He seems like a nice guy, even though I haven’t gotten to know him too well yet,” Haru notes. “A little loud, I’ll admit.” 

That statement makes Makoto smile. “Look, now that we all got these problems in the air, can we focus on something a little more productive and exciting, like a mission to fight Sugimura’s shadow?” 

Makoto is able to successfully derail the previous conversation about her own love life back to this new mission. As they discuss their plans, Makoto thinks about Ryuji. She was truthful with Ann and Haru, not wanting to make it seem like she didn’t have feelings for him. It hits her when she has a moment alone on the couch, with Ann in the bathroom and Haru grabbing something from her bedroom. 

Ryuji was incredibly kind to her. He was dependable, and despite his quirks, he always found a way to make her smile. He took time out his day to check on her and was much smarter than she initially realized. Normally, she’d think he was strange, but she was surprised at how attracted she was. She was falling for him. What she didn’t know was whether or not he’d feel the same way. 

On the other side of town, Ryuji taps on his phone nervously. He's sitting on Akira's couch in the LeBlanc attic, with Akira sitting at the edge of his bed. 

After initially making plans to go out, the two decided to just stay in and relax. It started out as a fun experience, playing video games and poking fun at each other. At one point, Ryuji got distracted enough by thinking about Makoto to really focus. He couldn't tell what was on Akira's mind exactly, but it seemed like he had something going on as well. 

"You and Ann had a fight?" Ryuji asked without hesitation. It took Akira a moment to respond, but he confirmed his question.

"I haven't been making time for her the last couple weeks. It blew out of proportion and before I know it, we're not talking unless it's about the Phantom Thieves. I gotta make it up to her somehow." With his suspicions confirmed, he and Akira brainstormed. Their relationship was still fairly new, and it was important to Akira to maintain it. 

Ryuji didn't have a lot of experience in fixing a relationship after an argument, but he based his advice after his argument with Makoto in Mementos. He figured if they ever started dating and got into an argument, they'd give each other space to breath and decompress before talking it out. Akira, on the other hand, was sure Ann was still holding a small grudge. 

"You gotta talk it out. Nothin' is gonna happen if you don't, go on text her. Ask to hang out." Ryuji offered. When Akira sent his text, he received a response a few minutes later. She didn't confirm a date or time, but she admitted to missing him. With that win, Ryuji saw Akira breathe a little easier. 

"I'm afraid of messing this up before we've had a real chance. I’m scared it’s gonna get worse real fast if we don’t." Akira admitted, setting his phone to the side."But my problems aside...So, you and Makoto?"

"Wh-what?" Ryuji's voice pitched slightly. "You don't know shit." 

"Why do you think I always keep you two together in the metaverse? Yes, your powers work well together, but I see the way you look at her." 

“Maybe I do like her. It don't matter though. She's got somethin' going on at home.” It wasn't a total lie, but Ryuji wasn't going to tell Akira about Sae's palace. If it comes up, it's her decision to speak up, not his. 

One encouraging speech from Akira and multiple text edits later, Ryuji finally texted Makoto. 

Ryuji: Hey, how are you doin’? I kinda miss the studying sessions tbh, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Let me know if you're ready. 

The silence was killing him. It's why he sat, tapping away on a black screen with Akira at the edge of the bed. Sure, Akira didn't understand the deeper meaning behind the message, but he knew enough to understand. 

"It's been like an hour, I think you should put the phone down." Akira finally says. Ryuji sighs, putting the phone down. "Come on, you can kick my butt at Mortal Kombat again." 

Akira walks over to the old television next Ryuji. As he sets it up, Ryuji walks back over to his previous spot on the floor. Taking the remote in his hand again, he tries to stay focused on something other than his feelings. He had no idea how Akira balanced his feelings for Ann while starting the Phantom Thieves. They play for a few hours before Ryuji decides to leave for the night. 

"Text me if you need more help." Akira says from the LeBlanc door, waving goodbye to Ryuji. Even with his own problems, he was surprised how willing Akira was to help others. It's what he admired about his best friend, how selfless he was when his friends needed them. 

The train ride back home is quiet, with Ryuji deciding to avoid checking his phone no matter what. It makes the commute feel longer than it would've been if he could use his phone. He couldn't even distract himself with people around him. Besides an older man on the other side of the train car, he's surprised how empty the car was on a Saturday night. 

When the door flies open and he steps off, he feels a vibration in his pocket. Already close to home, Ryuji decides to wait the ten minutes it would take it to walk from the platform to his front door. He turns ten minutes into five with a sprint to his apartment. He's out of breath pulling his keys out and unlocking the door, but it's worth it to save the time. He hopes. 

"Are you okay, Ryuji? I could hear you coming down the hallway." His mother asks. It was the first Saturday she had off in a month. All she wanted was peace and quiet, something he was more than happy to give her by going to LeBlanc. 

"Yeah, just, gotta get that jog in." He says between breaths. "I'm gonna go to bed, night Ma." He goes straight to his bedroom and closes the door behind him. Leaning back against the door, he pulls out his phone. 

Makoto: Hey Ryuji, sorry about the late message. I was out with Ann and Haru. I'm starting to feel better, but the next few weeks are really hectic because I'm planning the cultural festival. Can we pick up again in late October?

Shit. It wasn't the answer Ryuji wanted, but it was better than her outright saying no. Even better, she was at least talking to him again. 

Ryuji: Yeah gotcha, I'll see ya around then. 

He didn't want to go any deeper than that, knowing he was better off just being patient and waiting for her. If he wanted any chance to date her in the future, it'd have to be on her terms.


	13. Pity Party

October turns into a blur for Makoto after hanging out with Ann and Haru. A few days after, Haru's father dies on live television while confessing his crimes. It startles everyone, leaving some more confused than others on what they're actually doing. After a long meeting, everyone agrees to stay on board, even Haru. 

The first time Makoto sees Haru in a dark color is at the funeral. She'd texted Makoto early in the morning, inviting her last minute to the funeral after school. Despite having a full day of school and planning ahead of her, she agrees. Makoto didn't exactly have anything appropriate for a funeral but opted to wear a black dress shirt and slacks. When she's picked up in a dark limo, she's greeted by a quiet Haru. 

The rest of the day is uncomfortable. She stands next to Haru, who is not given the choice to say anything about her father. The honors go to his business partners, and unfortunately, Sugimura. It's much shorter than she expects, and the entire time, Makoto doesn't say a word. It wasn't her place, and she needed to help her friend. 

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" Makoto says in the limo ride back. Haru, mostly silent as well up until that point, closes her eyes. 

"Sugimura." Haru says plainly. "I would like to take him down. He still seems keen on the wedding, and my father did not cancel the contract before…" She stops herself. 

"Of course," Makoto says, worried about Haru's mental state. "But I think we should let a little more time pass before we act. You should be at your strongest." She knew Haru was strong enough to take him down single-handedly after seeing her in her father's palace. If anything, she was worried about her killing him by accident. Thankfully, Haru opens her tired eyes and nods. 

"Yes, you make a valid point. While this pain won't disappear immediately, I can see myself as mentally strong enough to take him down." 

"Yeah, we'll take him down," Makoto says. 

As quickly as Haru initially texted her, she's already home before nightfall. She doesn't feel like she had even gone to a funeral, but it helped Haru. To Makoto, that was the motivation she needed to keep going, both in her own life and as a Phantom Thief. 

Unfortunately, it meant returning all of her focus back to the Cultural Festival.

While she was normally very excited for the festival, she wasn't feeling up to planning such a large scale event. However, her feelings didn't matter here. Her motivation failed more when Akechi was selected as the guest for the festival. Her prior experiences weren't the best in the past, but she also understood his position. Sometimes. 

Thankfully, her fellow council members don't notice her lack of interest in the event. If anything, it pushed Makoto to try and be bolder with her decisions. She accepted student ideas she might've normally brushed off. Makoto looked normal, but she felt like anything but a student council president. 

Those specific days are hazy, leading up to the moment she won't forget: having Akechi nearly expose the Phantom Thieves on stage. After the conversation in the PE faculty office, she finds out the stunt wasn't meant to reveal their roles, but to show he knew their identities. His whole explanation feels off to her, but at that moment, she can't pinpoint. Instead, she's immediately taken away to the next problem at the Cultural Festival after the group's short conversation. 

On the final day of the festival, Makoto helps out the first half before feeling herself genuinely burn out. She wanders around the school, searching for the unused hallway in the practice building. While a majority of the two buildings were used for the festival, there was still an empty wing on the third floor. While she did pass by abandoned decorations and souvenirs, there was no one around. 

She chose to sit on the floor, in front of an empty classroom. There, she tried to go over the last few weeks again in her head, trying to get a better grip on herself. Haru inviting her to the funeral, planning the cultural festival, lots and lots of school. Finally, Akechi revealed he was also a persona user. It was a lot for her to handle, and with Sae's palace around the corner, it was important she remained as cool and focused as possible. 

"Makoto, is that you?" She heard a familiar voice down the hall, one she hadn't spoken to in a long time. 

"Ryuji? What are you doing here?" She turned her head, seeing him walk down to her. He sat down next to her, their shoulders touching. 

"I got sick of the party so I left. Figured I'd get some space where no one was. But this is better." He said. Makoto had missed Ryuji, a lot. She had been so wrapped up in her own world, trying to just do something to get her mind off of Sae's palace. She shouldn't have pushed him away. 

"It is actually. I've been wanting to talk to you." 

"You got a crazy schedule, prez. I ain't surprised you didn't get a chance. But what makes now different?" Ryuji says.

"I think Akechi pushed me over the edge yesterday, it was an epiphany. I needed time to process everything."

"To think about the palace?"

"Time to think reasonably about my sister turning into a monster.” Makoto's words come out like a knife. It hurts her, and at the same time, hurts Ryuji. 

He had been dying to talk to her, but she needed her space. All he could really do in his free time was study and workout because he knew if he gave up now, he'd go back to old habits. He wasn't sure if she was doing the same, but she had other priorities. Still, he didn't feel so sure about her being a monster. Everyone had good in them, and it seemed like she did too. 

"I don't think she's a monster -"

"You don't get it," Makoto says, immediately cutting him off. "I can't remember it, most of it is a blur. All I remember is the words she called me and how useless I was in escaping. Since then All she's been doing is calling me a disappointment and a burden, and everything she says is all true." 

Makoto felt the tears perk up in her eyes. She did her best to hold them back, remembering she was still at school. A single tear does make it through, obvious enough for Ryuji to see. He lifts his hand, wanting to wrap his arm around and comfort her. Right now, it was hard to tell if that would actually help the situation or make it worse. There was one thing he knew for sure: Makoto was none of those things. He still decides against touching her.

"You're lyin'." The simple response catches Makoto off guard. 

"What?" 

"You're not useless. We wouldn't be anywhere without you helpin' the Phantom Thieves. All of us? We're your friends. And if we didn't think that, we woulda told you ages ago. You're smart and brave, you're awesome to talk to. You're literally amazing. I just… you gotta see that, right?" Ryuji felt a part of his heart pour out. He could've kept going, but it would've led to a confession he didn't want to make here of all places. 

Makoto feels her face heat up and uses her colder hands to try and cool herself down. She wasn't expecting such kind words from Ryuji of all people. They were close, but she didn't realize that he still respected her this much. She'd hope at least some of that was romantic, but she couldn't tell entirely. Still, it's not enough to persuade her; she doesn’t remember enough.

"What about getting out of the palace? I was incoherent the entire time.." She countered. 

"You used your power to save me. You knew if ya didn't, neither of us were gonna make it out. That was literally the smartest choice you coulda made. We woulda died without you." 

Makoto had briefly considered it, but hearing it come from someone else's mouth helped boost her own confidence. Sure, she was perfect, but maybe Ryuji was right, and she was actually all the things he said. He seemed to really care for her. 

"I'm surprised you seem to care this much about me," Makoto says, blushing slightly. 

"Well, when you're that awesome I can't help it!" Ryuji says, immediately regretting his statement. _Come on man, she's gonna hate it._ "But uh, guess I should head out." He stands up, awkwardly looking away from her. 

"Oh, I thought you were avoiding the crowds," she asked. She was confused since just a moment ago he seemed to really like her and now he was standoffish. 

"Yeah but I gotta go." He starts to walk away before turning back around and saying, "You're a good person, don't let Sae getcha down." 

He was mortified. Not only could he still not handle making a flirty joke around her, but he also couldn't even have the decency to stay. Once he looped around the corner of the hall, he facepalmed himself. It felt like Hawaii all over again, except this time he knew he liked her. 

As confusing of an experience as that was for Makoto, she knew she eventually had to leave as well. On her way to the student council office, she replayed his words in her head, pulling the meaning apart and trying to put it back together again. The key points she pulled was her own low self-confidence and how Ryuji used the word friend multiple times. 

Does he just see me as a friend? She wondered, entering the main Shujin building. If he did, then any feelings she had for him had to be set aside as soon as possible. It would be hard considering how much she liked him. Prior to turning into the hallway with the student council, she decides to text him.

Makoto: Hey, can we start back up with our deal early next week? How does Monday look for you?

Ryuji: Works for me. 

A brief response. She sighs, clutching her phone to her chest. Eventually, she knew she’d have to give up. Granted, she hadn’t really tried to go after him, but the early signs she got weren’t optimistic. She moved, finally turning the corner and seeing yet another familiar face. Albeit, a different one. He stands in front of the student council doorway, lightly tapping his foot to an unknown beat. When he sees Makoto, he stops and lights up. 

"I'm glad to have caught you in time."

"Can I help you, Akechi? And if you don't mind, I need to get into the office." She responds coldly. She hadn't warmed up to him yet and was surprised to see him there that day considering he was only due to attend the one. 

Akechi steps aside, and Makoto walks to unlock the door. She steps in, seeing him hover over the doorway. It was as though he was worried about stepping over a boundary. 

"I wanted to apologize for the scene I caused yesterday during the interview. It wasn't my intention to upset you-" She starts off by looking over some paperwork before realizing he wasn't going anywhere, and that she felt strong enough to talk back. She slams the paperwork back on her desk, immediately cutting him off. 

"You embarrassed my friends and humiliated me on stage, only to prove a point? You couldn't have messaged Akira asking to meet before we left? Not everything has to be for the dramatics." Makoto responds, looking for any emotion from Akechi's face. There isn't much before she answers, but she swears she sees a bit of sadness in his eyes. 

"You're absolutely correct. I should've thought my plan through better." Taken aback, Makoto looks noticeably shocked. Sure, she figured he felt some remorse, but his response felt genuine. 

"Wow, is that a real apology this time? I'm almost impressed." Makoto laughs, stepping closer to Akechi. This entire time, he stood at the doorway, only moving side to side at times when speaking. She had expected him to enter at some point, but she appreciated that he seemed to at least understand basic boundaries. 

"I should be saying the same to you. You've changed quite a lot since our first real conversation a few months ago. I can't pinpoint it, but I can tell it's a great and positive change." He smiles. Makoto knew she had changed, but hearing it from an outsider reaffirmed it. Sure, Ryuji’s words had helped her as well, but they spent a lot of time together, even when they weren’t studying and working out. 

"Well, thank you. I appreciate the compliment." She says, and Akechi looks down at his watch.

"I must be going, I don't want to take up too much of your time. I wanted to make sure I apologized to you in person. If you need anything, you have my number. Please give me a call anytime." The last line is said differently from the others, but before she can think, he leaves and lightly closes the door behind him. 

To her, it almost felt like he was flirting with her. Whether or not she'd act on it was a different story. After all, it didn't seem like anything was going to come out of Ryuji, so what was stopping her from seeing who else might like her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter we're a little over halfway through the story? I organized my chapters by ranks on my end (having 2-4 chapters per rank) and this is the start of Rank 6. 
> 
> Thank you as always for reading!


	14. Bad At Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Nausea/Vomiting  
>  ~~(If you're still interested to know what happens in this chapter but don't want to read it for that reason lmk and I'll reply to your comment with a short summary of the chapter)~~

After a somewhat intense conversation among the team, everyone decided the only way they could stop Sae was by taking down her palace. During the conversation, Makoto mentioned she'd tried putting her name into the MetaNav, but couldn't figure out the other words. 

_Liar_ , Ryuji thought to himself when she said it, but she couldn’t blame her. No one else thought otherwise, but he knew it was wrong to say something. It would help the team, but at what cost? Losing Makoto's trust? He was already worried he was losing her after an awkward return to studying. The last thing he wanted was to fully lose her. 

Lucky for Makoto, the first visit tomorrow was only a brief exploration, so it would be unlikely they'd need most people. She volunteered to stay back at the entrance, with Ryuji asking to stay behind as well. The others would split into two teams, and get the information they needed without entering too deep into the palace. 

"This will be unlike any palace we've been in before. She might have some tricks up her sleeves," Akira says to the team at LeBlanc, "But we can do this. We have to do this." The words hit her a little differently. She knew full well how terrible it would be to fight shadows there. Sae as a palace ruler was well aware of everything happening within. She just had to let her friends discover that for themselves, at least until she could get used to it again. 

Even after acting confident the entire time, Makoto returned home a mess. She cried in her bed, wanting nothing more than to avoid the palace. But then they'd know she lied and was likely withholding information. Even worse, any trust they had in her would fall apart. She already felt terrible about herself, she couldn't lose her friends too. 

And so the night is restless. She tosses back and forth, only really falling asleep halfway through the night. It's dreamless for her, and when she wakes up, she's startled by the blaring alarm she'd set prior. They agreed on an early adventure today to better prepare for a true expedition the next. She'd hope the one day of staying back would be enough. 

Makoto prepares for the day, buying a handful of extra items for her and Ryuji if the need ever arises. Being so close to the exit, they could thankfully just leave the metaverse and return after a short period away. However, she didn't want to risk a thing going in. She takes the long way to the courthouse and is the last one there. By then, the team was still somewhat struggling with keywords. She offers nudges here and there, enough to push them in the right direction. Eventually, it works, partially to her displeasure. 

Back as Queen again in an unfortunately familiar territory, she holds her tongue as Joker says instructions to the team. He seems… off. She couldn't quite pinpoint, but it sounded like this trip was hard on him as well. It's only when the two teams move forward that she allows herself to breathe, something Skull immediately notices. The two are waiting close to the exit, hiding behind a small wall at the edge of the building. 

"Now that they're gone… how you holdin' up? I've been trying to give ya some space, just in case." Skull says slowly, worrying greatly about Queen. 

The entire time prior to this moment, he had a knot in his stomach. It was only after entering that he started to feel better. He knew it was his nerves, and finally coming in and not immediately being ambushed was a blessing. Looking at Queen, he saw beads of sweat forming around her mask, and the little skin he could see was as white as a sheet. 

"I think - I'm gonna be sick." She runs over around the wall, and Skull hears the sound of her gagging. He tries to block his ears, but the sound of her still peeps through. As loud as it is, it's short-lived. She comes back around, her walk shakier than normal, and he runs up to her. 

"Holy shit we should take you back you're not okay." He says, helping her sit against the wall. 

“I feel like I’m losing my mind.” She says, looking at the false skyline in the distance. "But we should stay. If I leave, the team will suspect something." 

"You aren't okay! You just threw up behind the wall, your pale and you're walkin' funny. You ain't ready for this - " 

"I'M FINE!" Queen shouts. She realizes what she does, she stands and runs over to the corner furthest away from the sidewalk. Skull huddles close to her, on alert up in case of anything. When nothing comes for a few minutes, he scratches the back of his neck and groans. 

"How are you gonna get through this if you can't even sit here?" Skull asks her seriously. He was beyond worried at this point. "We should tell them."

"Ryuji please, don't," Queen begs, grabbing onto his arm and pulls him into a hug. Despite the earlier situation behind the wall, she still smelled the same. It'd been a while since they'd hugged, the last time also being Sae's palace visit. 

_God I miss this..._

"It's staying between us. We made a deal, I'll stick to it." He finally says, letting go of her. Little did he know that she wasn't ready to be released, but that was something she'd keep to herself. 

"Thank you." The silence is awkward but short-lived. In the distance, the pair hear loud footsteps. They maintain a reasonable distance between themselves prior to seeing their team return. With a deep breath in and out, Queen puts on back the fake mask she wore when talking to the team today.

"How'd it go?" Skull asks first, seeing a frustrated Joker. 

"It's gonna be tough, but we'll be fine going in properly tomorrow. Everyone," he says, looking at his team. "Tomorrow at noon, be ready to give it your all. This will take multiple trips. So take it easy today and we'll reconvene tomorrow."

While he talks, Queen notices Joker doesn't look once at Panther. She hadn't talked to Ann much since the hangout with everything going on, but she had an inkling of what had happened. When returning back to reality, everyone starts to say their goodbyes. Makoto is ready to leave before she feels a tap on her shoulder. 

"Can you stay behind for a minute?" Akira asks. 

_Heknowheknowsheknow -_

"Sure!" Makoto smiles, grabbing on tightly to her bag. She already felt sick to her stomach after earlier, and was worried about a repeat. By now, everyone else has walked off to their homes, far enough to not hear the conversation. 

"We ran into Sae, she talked to us." 

_Of course she did -_

"Oh? How did it go with my sister?" Makoto feigned surprise. 

"As expected. She knew we were there, but didn't try to fight us. She told us to meet her at the top of the building if we ever made it up that far." Everything he said made sense, even if she hadn't heard it himself.

"That sounds troubling. But we have to move forward to secure the treasure." 

"Yes of course… But she also asked if we were sent there by someone else." She could feel the hairs on her neck rise. It was coming, and she wasn't ready. "She kept it pretty vague, but Makoto did you -" 

Akira's phone goes off. He pulls it out of his pocket, looks at the caller ID and sighs. 

"I gotta take this. I'll see you tomorrow." Akira answers the phone and runs off. 

Makoto has never been happier about Akira's hectic lifestyle. She walked the long way back home, trying to think of how she was going to handle it if he asked again. She knew she wouldn't give up Ryuji no matter what, but she also didn't want to face it alone. After going back on it, she doesn't decide until she's turning the key to unlock her house. She would take any potential pushback alone. 

"God this isn't like me," Makoto says to an empty home. Sae's palace had ruined her, and all she could do was hope to feel better in the next few weeks. The closer they got to fighting Sae, the more mixed her emotions became. 

She tries to study, to no avail. She can't focus on anything besides the palace. Makoto even contemplated calling someone, but she didn't want to be a burden… again. Her day is wasted on imagining possibilities and trying to figure out how she would sleep that night. Before she knows it, the sunset light is creeping into her room, with no real studying done. She opts to go through the medicine cabinet in the kitchen, finding a bottle of sleeping pills. She takes two pills and goes to bed.

It's not a dreamless sleep like she wanted. In her nightmare, she's back in Sae's palace. She stuck outside, seeing Ryuji fight shadows on his own. No matter how loud she screams, she's stuck outside. To Makoto, it felt eerily real. She wakes up in a cold sweat, hyperventilating. 

She realizes when she told Ryuji she couldn't remember the visit, she meant it. There were gaps, and she knew she wasn't stuck outside. At least, she figured she wasn't, since she imagined Ryuji would’ve told her about that. Giving up on sleep, she reaches over to her phone, only to be startled again by her alarm. 

_I can't catch a break._ Makoto thinks to herself. 

Getting out of bed, she gets dressed for the day and goes to the kitchen to make breakfast. As she enters the room, she hears the front door slam. Breathing a sigh of relief, she puts together something quick to eat before mentally preparing for the day. After the meal, she gets a text message. As she walks over to her phone, she hears another notification. 

Ryuji: Hey prez, you doing better today?

and the other… 

Akechi: Hi Niijima. I hope you're doing well this morning. I'm sure this is a lot of pressure on you, so please know that you have my support should you need anything. I'll see you soon. 

It was strange receiving similar texts from them, at nearly the same time. She supposed they were both just thinking about her since it was her sister's palace after all. She put her phone away deciding to remove all distractions for the next few hours until she had to hop on a train and do it all over again. 

Makoto grabbed her bag and heads to the train station. Every stop she hears adds another layer to her anxiety. Today she was definitely going back in, and she couldn't suddenly throw up like she did last time. Even if it meant feeling like she would explode, she had to keep it together. 

_Think of something else, anything else…_

Tag-team attacks. She hadn't had someone else to do a tag team attack like most of the other team did at this point. Ryuji had his for months now, and with no attacks in the last month, she knew the team was overdue. Sure, she had considered a few ideas here and there, but nothing really concrete. 

Finally, she hits her stop and she's pulled out of her thoughts. Makoto shuffles off the train, walking towards the staircase when she sees Haru walking up to her. 

"Hi Haru," Makoto says, the gears restarting in her brain. "You know, I was just thinking about you." 

"Oh? What's going on?" Haru responded. Makoto was happy to see her friend back to her normal self. She had recovered well over the last few weeks, at least on the outside. 

"Well, you know how we have our team attacks? I was thinking things over, and I had a bit of an outrageous idea." She felt herself hesitating towards the end. 

"If you came up with it, it must be a good idea. Why don't we talk about it while we walk to the courthouse?"

For the entire walk there, Haru and Makoto talk about their team attack. While they don't initially see eye to eye, it blossoms into an interesting attack they're both excited to try in combat. They arrive early, giving them to work out some of the smaller issues they encountered while discussing it. 

The thrill of a new team attack motivates her to enter the palace as Queen without feeling overly nauseous. She still finds herself bringing her own hands into fists, but that was hidden thanks to her current gloves. She'd likely feel some pain in her fingers later from the strong grip, but it was the only way she could function in the palace right now. 

Even with the little knowledge Queen had prior to this trip, it wouldn't have been helpful past the initial investigation. Instead, it becomes a gambling game. They go through the entirety of the first floor finding places to gamble on. When discovering the rigged secrets behind it, they're forced into a fairly large fight. It's enough for the backup team at the time to linger closer than normal in case something happens

At the time, Queen, Skull and Fox are all on the starting line up with Joker. They each use their own abilities, with Queen feeling the best in a palace in months. The first Sae visit was demoralizing, but she felt stronger when she had her friends around. Even then, she still had one trick she wanted to try up her sleeves to destroy the last shadow. 

"Noir, now is the time!" She shouts behind her, calling Noir to her. 

"Ooh, Queen's powering up!"

Noir moves out of standby and runs up to Queen. The two run together towards their target, landing every single punch. Around them, they see items they can jump off, and both select something on opposite sides. They majestically jump into the air before coming back together and slamming down on the shadow defeating it. 

"Dudeee, that was sick!" Skull excitedly exclaims, going up to them after they finished. After their conversation yesterday, he was worried about how Queen would act in the palace. He was ecstatic to see her seemingly recover. He figured something was up, but couldn’t ask there and then. 

“Yes, that was rather impressive. I didn’t realize you could create such an impressive spectacle and at the same time essentially annihilate a shadow.” Crow said, coming up from standby. “Who came up with the idea?” 

“Queen did, we talked about it today prior to coming into the palace,” Noir responded. Queen was happy that the attack was successful, but she felt odd about the attention. 

"Makes sense, you're very bright." Crow smiled, winking at her. Queen felt her eyes get wide, caught off guard by the compliment and wink. It was much smoother than Skull's earlier compliment.

"Thank you." Was all she could muster out. Queen was...confused. She thought he was a little more than nice the other day in the student council, but now he was texting her unprompted and winking at her?

"I suppose I should leave the main team to it, sorry to intrude." Crow returned back, and the main team moved ahead. The entire time, Skull was ready to yell at Crow. He couldn't keep his eyes off of him while he talked to her. He felt an intense jealousy. They weren't dating so it's not like he could say anything. All he could do was sit back and observe. 

The team goes on until they clear the floor, ready to come back early next week to continue with their investigation. As they walk back through the palace, the other team members are reunited. Skull lingers behind with Fox, talking every so often about some of the weird decorations in the casino. Up ahead, he sees Noir and Queen talking. The entire time, Crow seems to be a few steps behind until he pops in between them. Seeing it happen, Skull suddenly picks up speed to overhear the conversation, dragging Fox along with him to investigate.

"Noir, may I speak to Queen for a few moments privately?" Crow asks. Noir nods, jogging up ahead to Panther and Oracle. 

"Is something going on?" Queen asks. 

"Queen, I have to admit I was wrong about you. You've made some great strides in the last few months. It has been interesting to see from afar."

"Oh, thank you." 

"And well, I know the timing is a little odd, but I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime. Just the two of us, no strings attached." Skull feels his heart drop to his stomach. 

"Well that's unexpected," Fox whispered to Skull, who kept his eyes forward, waiting for Queen's response.

"You don't have to give me an answer right now-"

"You get one night, and I'm drawing the line there." She says seriously. Skull sees a wicked smile from Crow, and feels his own body grow cold. 

"I promise you won't regret it." 

\--

"Hey Ryuji, I got some ideas for tomorrow's study session," Makoto said, jogging to catch up to him. The group had split apart, planning to return next Monday to deal with the following floor, as well as seeing how far they could really go since they anticipated having to change her cognition after next week's trip. 

Right now, the last person he wanted to see was her. He felt betrayed and hurt, especially since it seemed like she might've felt something for him. It was clear to him that maybe he was wrong, and he didn't stand a chance. So now in the middle of the train station, he had to act like he wasn't falling head over heels for her. 

"Uh, can we talk bout it tomorrow?" He says coldly. He keeps his hands in his pockets, looking forward as they walk to catch their train. 

"I suppose so, it might be easier for you to understand ahead of time what I'm planning though." 

"Ya know what? Let's just stop this. It ain't working for either of us, I don't need this shit." He says, feeling himself crack under the pressure. He felt like there was nothing he could say that was right, especially now. If Akechi and Makoto did start dating, it'd hurt him too much to keep studying and working out with Makoto like he didn't have feelings for her. 

"Ryuji are you okay? I know I've been distant the last few weeks -" 

"Yeah you don't say," He scoffs at her. Seeing the sad look in her eyes, he softens his tone. "I'm sorry, I've been stressed too. But maybe we should cool it on the study sessions and working out. You ain't gonna get much stronger and I'm fine with B's. Let's just end the deal." 

Makoto didn't want to end the deal. It was the only chance she had of seeing Ryuji this often, and despite accepting Akechi's offer at the palace for the sake of appearing normal despite the circumstances, she still would choose Ryuji over him in a heartbeat. But clearly, he wanted little to do with her now. She had to choose herself over fawning over someone who wanted little to do with her. 

"Yeah, I understand. I'll see you next week." Makoto walks away, waiting on the other side of the train platform. When they hop on, they're multiple cars away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH cue the first of I think two or three chapters were I'm anticipating some people won't be very happy with me, don't hate me! Rest assured the tags still stand, and it is a slow burn. ( ~~cough cough Angst with Happy Ending cough~~ )


	15. Moral of the Story

It's a busy week for Makoto. She meets with Akira, Morgana and Akechi to discuss any new strategies to implement at the palace. While this takes up a few hours out of her Monday afternoon, she spends the whole school day on Tuesday texting in a group chat with Ann, Haru and Futaba. 

They text about certain plans and ideas they have, trying to figure out the best way to get that low into Mementos without asking Morgana. While they appreciated the others in the group, this was something they all wanted to do together, without having to ask someone else for help. The text chat blows up towards the end of the day, leading Futaba to asking everyone to just meet up at the diner in Shibuya. The girls go straight to the diner, meeting Futaba at a booth in the middle of the crowded diner. 

"Finally! I thought the school trapped you all there!" Futaba exclaims. The others shuffle into their seats, with Ann sitting next to Futaba and Makoto and Haru taking the other side. 

"Sorry, the train was delayed. Now where were we?" Ann says, picking up a menu off the table. 

"The idea of using Johanna. It's a great idea but I can only really carry one person on it. Futaba can stay near the entrance anyway, but I don't like the idea of one of us staying behind." Makoto says. As expected, she'd taken on the role of planning the fine details of their mission. 

"Would Jose be willing to give us a ride? He does have his car." Haru asks. Makoto purses her lips. 

"I don't think he will. Even if he does, would he tell Akira? Do we care if they know?" Makoto questions. 

"Eh, we don't need Jose, we can find a way." Futaba waves off. The waitress comes, and the table orders a few appetizers for the table. They decided to keep the meals small since they

"I don't think it'd hurt to ask, Makoto. After all, he seems pretty happy to help any of us." Ann responds, before mumbling to herself. "Even if he does tell him." 

"Okay, pause! What's going on there? Can we talk about that first?" Futaba exclaimed. "He hasn't even been looking at you in meetings!" 

Ann sighs, fidgeting with the napkin in front of her while she speaks. "We broke up during the cultural festival. I decided to try going after Shiho. We're hanging out this weekend, I'm planning on talking to her about it then." 

The table is a mix of emotions. Futaba looks mildly angry, Makoto is confused and Haru is sad. Despite the confused look, she's connecting the signs she saw earlier. As upsetting as the situation was, it seemed like they just weren't meant to be. 

"How did he take it?" Makoto asks. 

"Not well, at first. But after I explained myself, he seemed to understand it a lot better. I think he just feels really awkward around me now. I mean," she looks around her briefly, "He did see me naked." 

"Oh I know," Futaba says plainly. Everyone goes into one unanimous expression: shocked, and a little disgusted.

"Pleaseee don't tell me you used the bugs to spy on them." Makoto sighs, placing her hand on her forehead. Futaba jokingly does evil laugh, dancing in her seat. 

"Poor Akira, I don't think he's ever seen real boobs before Ann's because his reaction was -" 

"Can we get back on topic?" Ann interjected. 

"Yes," Makoto responds. "Anyway, we can see if we run into Jose. But there's no guarantee that we will see him, he shows himself when he chooses to." 

"Mako-chan, what if we have someone stay behind with Futaba to help with long-distance support?" Haru speaks. Unsurprisingly, she chose not to participate in the side conversation about Ann and Akira's relationship. 

"It'd have to be Ann then. I can't exactly let you two borrow my persona." Makoto says, "Would you be okay with staying behind and focusing on support? I know you were excited about going down as well." 

"It sucks, but you two should go ahead. I'll find some way to help Futaba-"

"Oh we're gonna have fun talking about all the stuff I overheard. Man am I PUMPED for tomorrow now!" Futaba laughs. She stops when she sees their appetizers, excitedly reaching over to get some. Ann rolls her eyes, and starts to eat some as well. 

"Well, looks like we found a solution. Don't worry, Haru. Ryuji's been on Johanna so you shouldn't have any problems with it." Makoto says, reassuring her nervous looking friend. She could see Haru was nervous, but she wasn't sure if it was because of the missing tomorrow or to ride Johanna. Or both. 

"Speaking of Ryuji, what's going on there? I thought you had a crush on him and now you're going out with Akechi?" Ann asks. 

Makoto had seen this coming. Thankfully, she had prepared responses on the way to the diner (and prior) when asked about Akechi. 

"He said one date, so I'm holding him to that. I’m also kind of using it as a cover to help convince him we think he’s on our side. As far as Ryuji goes… I don't think he likes me. He stopped our study sessions and it seems like all he wants to do when we're talking is get away." Makoto plays with the food on her plate. She'd forgotten how sad it all made her to consider Ryuji's feelings for her. 

"I cannot tell with him, ugh!" Ann exclaims. "I swear, I used to be able to tell when he liked a girl. Granted it was always for her body. But with you? This is a new side of Ryuji. It's like he's trying to not disappoint when he's around you."

Makoto hadn't considered it that way before. Ann and Ryuji knew each other the longest, so her knowledge of him was important. She had considered the possibility of his new behavior as an inability to understand his own feelings, but unless she heard it from his own mouth, Makoto literally could not believe it. 

"I don't know, he seems so distant now. Either way I'm not focused on boys right now. I'm excited to get some justice for Haru." 

\--

"Hey sis, can I talk to you about something? I promise it won't take up a lot of your time." Makoto asked Sae. It was the first in a few weeks where she was able to eat breakfast with her sister. It was a mostly silent breakfast, until Makoto spoke up. 

"Make it quick," Sae responded coldly. 

"Well, I have a date this weekend, with Akechi. I'm a little worried about it." As Makoto finished her sentence, Sae's eyes lit up. 

"Oh that's great, you're going to have an amazing time with him. You two are perfect for each other." It's the first time she sees light in her sister's face in… well, she wasn't sure how long. 

"What makes you say that?" Makoto nervously asks, tapping her foot lightly under the table. Why would she say that? She didn't think they had that much in common. 

"He's going to be a valuable member of society in the future. You want to surround yourself with good people to get to the top. He’s worked hard to get where he is, make sure he likes you." Sae looks at her watch. She picked up her empty plate, putting it in the dishwasher before grabbing her other belongings from the living room. 

"So what should I do? I mean I don’t know -" 

"What do you mean? Win his heart, and help secure your future. Get the connections. I won't be around forever to support you. Don't stay up waiting for me, see you." Putting her coat, she runs out the door. Makoto looks down at her food, feeling like she got nothing out of that conversation other than Sae telling her to work hard yet again. 

_It's never just advice, there's always another motive for her,_ Makoto thought to herself. She was worried about the date, but she had bigger problems today: taking down Haru's fiance. It was going to be a long school day for her. 

Makoto does her best to listen in class, but she was already a week ahead and took the time to just think about other possibilities and scenarios in case something went wrong in Mementos. Before she knows it, the final bell rings and the school day is over. 

Ann, Makoto and Haru hop on a train from Shujin back to Shibuya, meeting Futaba at their old hideout in a long hallway with tall windows. It was initially confusing for Makoto to explain to Futaba where to meet them since she had never gone on her own, but she's able to do it easily after she explains the layout of the station. 

Sitting on the floor, Makoto could see Futaba tapping away on her phone. She had a big smile on her face, but it wasn't the usual look. It was almost like she was in love with whoever she was messaging. 

"Who are you messaging?" Makoto teased once they were close enough for her to hear. Seeing the three of them pop up, she quickly hid her phone and sprang back on her feet. 

"No one! Let's go, we're burning daylight!" Futaba smiles, walking in the opposite direction. 

"Futaba! We don't have to go anywhere from here!" Ann calls out. Futaba immediately turns back around. Her face is a little pink and her shoulders are hunched over. 

"Pshh yeah I knew that, I was testing you guys," Futaba comments. Knowing she wouldn't talk about the mysterious person she was texting, Makoto decided to start. 

"Okay, let's just hop right in." Makoto taps on her phone, triggering the change from reality to the metaverse. Suddenly they're all in their costumes, and make the short walk to the main entrance of Mementos. 

"You sure you'll be okay here?" Queen asks Panther. Oracle wasted no time setting herself up, a system Queen was sure she was used to by now. Panther swallowed hard. 

"Yeah, I get a feeling she'll pry for something but I'll be fine. You should focus on Noir," Panther uses her hand to gesture towards Noir. She was sitting on the edge of the platform, her face hiding in her hands. 

"I got her, good luck Panther." Queen walks over to Noir, sitting down next to her. 

"I'm afraid." Queen hears Noir quietly say, "What if something happens?" Queen could understand her concerns. It was a first for all of them to do a real mission without Joker, even if they did appreciate the independence from their leader. But for Noir, she was still getting the hang of things.

"Then we'll call for Oracle and Panther to help us. That's why they're staying behind. I know it's going to be scary, but think of it this way. You'll be a free woman, able to love whoever she wants. Isn't that wonderful?" Queen smiled, grabbing Noir's hands. 

"Yes, I'd like to be my own person, make my own decisions without worrying about a man holding me back… thank you." The two hug briefly before hopping off the platform. 

Queen calls upon her persona, and shows Noir how to safely ride Johanna. When she sat behind her, Queen could feel Noir's hands tremble around her waist. It made her nervous as well, but she pushed back the feeling. This wasn't about her; it was about Noir. 

"Good luck guys!"  
"Kick some ass!" 

Queen heard the cheers from her two friends left at the entrance as the two traveled down the floors of mementos. She did well with avoiding the shadows, only nearly entering a fight once in the middle of the ride down. At some point, she notices Noir's hands stop shaking, only to return once the portal is insight. After a fifteen minutes ride, the two friends stood in front of the entrance. 

"Are you ready to get some revenge?" Queen shouts over the sound of the portal, looking over at Noir. She could see a determined look on her face before she nods, walking inside. Queen is not far behind her, and two go in.

As expected, Sugimura stands in the middle of a large Mementos dead-end. He's dressed in a gray business suit, with an evil smile on his face. Queen hears a soft gasp come out of Noir, before Noir stomps on to get a closer look. 

"Sugimura, we've come to show you justice," Noir says confidently. He makes a face before his bolstering laugh bounces off along the walls. "I-I'm serious!"

"You're cute, but I'm not going anywhere. Everyone I walk over? They deserve it. It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I must win it all. The company, the employees, my fiancée, they're all going to be my property soon once I marry this useless girl." 

"Shut up! Noir, let's go!" Queen's anger spiked. Noir was one of her best friends. She didn't know it at the time when they were assigned together in Hawaii, but now? They were fighting alongside each other, with the utmost respect. 

Sugimura turned into his true form, a distorted slime-looking persona. It disgusted both of them, but they both proceeded to fight. They're surprised by how much push back he gives, but it's no match for them. At some point, they both feel their attacks and defense increase, likely a supporting push from Oracle and Panther. 

Towards the end, the fight feels more evenly matched. The two girls push until he suddenly changes back into his human form. He laid on the ground, flipping himself over to get a good look at both of them. Queen sees Noir step forward, her mask remaining on. From the little she saw, Noir was not happy with her eyes glowing bright yellow like she had just awakened her persona. With Sugimura on the ground, face up at Noir, the look on his face changes. 

"Haru? Is that you?" He asks, his voice still sharp. She sees Noir rip off her mask, summoning her persona. 

"You took advantage of my father's kindness. You were lucky he took you in like the son he never had. And you take advantage of him? How dare you!" Haru’s voice intensifies with each word. She attacks a few feet away from him, scaring him enough to stand up, giving him time to collect his composure. 

"Come on, babe. We come from the same social class, same backgrounds, we have some much in common. We're supposed to be together. Please understand." He hissed, walking up to her. 

"Stay back!" She launches another warning shot, this time a lot closer. It's enough for Queen to readily approach her friend. 

"Haru, stop it." Queen grabs onto Noir's shoulder, but she pulls away from the touch. Noir moves even closer to him and she launches another two shots on both sides of him. 

"You and I couldn't be more different! Just because we're similar doesn't mean we're meant to be together. Change is good, and for me, that means leaving you behind!" She attacked him directly, using a physical punch to bring him down. He falls down, this time gasping for air. 

Her words punch Queen as well. She thinks about her date with Akechi. Her sister was so excited earlier that morning, happy that Queen was going out with someone Sae deemed worthy. But… she wasn't sure if she saw it that way, even if she didn’t know about his true plans.

"Noir stop!" Queen runs up, grabbing one of her arms. "Don't kill him!" Noir pulls her arm back, this time triggering a small attack next to Queen to force her to move back. 

"This is my fight, stand back." 

"Please..." Queen quietly says. 

"You took advantage of my father. And now if you don't stop taking advantage of me, I will have no choice but to end your life! You don't get to make choices for me anymore!" Noir shouts, turning her attention back to him. Queen knew she was running out of options, she could either fight Noir or let him go off free. With a tall Milady standing behind her, Queen was worried of Noir's actual threat to kill him. 

Instead, he raised his arms up in defeat, making Noir take a step back. 

"I'm sorry I'm sorry! I'll rip up the contract! I didn't realize it hurt you this badly. I'll make amends, I swear to you I'll fix this… I'm deeply sorry, Haru Okumura." He glows for a moment before disappearing. 

Left behind, there's a small envelope with no name on the outside. Noir crouches down to pick it up, opening it. She pulls out a small packet, ripped into two pieces. Milady disappears, and Noir falls back to her knees sobbing. Queen rushes over, gently rubbing her hand on Noir's back. 

"Are you okay? That seemed intense."

"I'm so sorry, please don't be angry with me. I lost control, all I could think about was my father's death. He can't bring him back, but I was just so angry, I thought killing him might bring back the father I once had, but it won’t." Noir continued to cry for a few minutes, before she was able to stand up tall again. 

"I understand why you're mad. He's impacted your whole life. I'm happy you didn't kill him there."

"I wanted to…" Noir says. She stands up and turns around to face Queen, wiping some of the dirt off of her knees. "If I had lost more control of myself, I would've given in. But that would betray my personal morals, and those that we established in the Phantom Thieves. I just hope what we did was enough."

"You stayed in control, you should be proud of that. And based on the papers in your hand, I'm optimistic." 

"I think it's the contract he signed with my father, or rather a false version of it." Noir tries to read over the paperwork. "Some of it in Japanese, but it's very repetitive and poorly written. It’s meant to mimic the real contract, but it’s not this. This contract must’ve meant everything to him." 

"I’m sure it did, since he would’ve had so much power...Come on, let's go home." Queen and Noir link up arms and walk out through the portal. When they walk back through, she summons Johanna again, and the two go back through the tunnels of Mementos. 

On the ride there, Queen starts to feel regrets. After watching Noir so angry at Sugimura, she felt like she couldn't go out with Akechi. She liked him a little despite what she knew, but she wasn't really interested in him that way. 

_I can't back out, not with sis knowing._

The ride back is quiet, with Noir's shaking hands no longer taking her attention. Queen instead focused on the further decaying scenery of the tunnels. The further they moved back up, the more put together it looked. Like the others, she wasn't sure what lurked at the bottom, but it seemed to be in a rotting wasteland based on their most recent trips to Mementos. When they finally got back to the top, they were welcomed by Panther and Oracle cheering. 

"That was AWESOME!" Oracle cheered excitedly. 

"Yeah you guys did great," Panther happily says. The two hop off of Johanna, with Noir still clinging to the treasure. Panther takes note of it, walking up to her. 

"Was that the treasure? A piece of paper?" She points to the papers in her hand. Noir hands it to her, and she grabs it. "This is written weird, it's barely legible."

"We think it's supposed to mimic the contract her father and Sugimura made for Haru to be engaged. It was already ripped in half when she opened the envelope." Queen answers. Oracle comes up to Panther, looking at the papers herself. 

"Well that's stupid, why not leave like the engagement ring? We could've made some good money off of it," Oracle teases. Noir takes off one of her gloves, revealing the ring underneath. The three of them crowd around her hand, seeing a large diamond sitting on a silver band. 

"He saw me this morning so I put it on. I don't plan on keeping it after all this, so if we wanted to sell it, we can." Noir's eyes glaze over. She looks like she's ready to cry at the drop of a hat. 

"We should be going, I don't want anyone getting home too late. We still have school tomorrow after all." Queen says. Noir puts her glove back and walks over to the exit to wait. In the meantime, Oracle goes to pack up her stuff and Panther comes up to Queen. She gets close and whispers to her. 

"What happened there? That didn’t seem like her at all." Panther asks, looking right at Noir. Noir was still reading over the contract, looking like she wanted to make sense of something with no meaning. 

"She was furious with him. Honestly, I was worried she was going to kill him. She held back of course, but I think if she was given the opportunity she would've taken it to get revenge for her father." 

Panther's eyes soften, and she crosses her arms. "Jeez I knew it was bad, but she must still be healing. I hope it helped her." 

"Alright, I'm done let's bounce!" Oracle says, running over to the exit with her bags. Queen nods at Panther, and they all leave Mementos together. What she didn't know was how much it made her decision to date Akechi all the more difficult. 

Back at the train station, the four of them talk briefly before heading back home. As promised, Sae isn't there to welcome Makoto back home. It's better this way for her, as she didn't want the possibility of bringing down her sister's mood any more than necessary. Exhausted from the trip, she decides against studying and goes straight to sleep. 

It's not a peaceful dream. 

Makoto sees herself back in Sae's palace. In the same hallways with posters all over. She's escorted to a large hall, where Akechi already stands with his back to her. Thrown to stand next to him, she feels heavy here. Sae stands there but doesn't do or say anything other than keeping her hands on her hips. 

"What a disgrace. I can't believe you'd put her next to me." Akechi says with a sour face. He stands up, walking up next to Sae. She stays still, almost like a lifeless doll. 

"What's happening, where's Ryuji?" Makoto asks. Akechi laughs, grabbing onto his stomach. 

"That's hilarious. You're alone here." He snaps. The lights dim, with a spotlight on her. She sees shadows come from all angles, but she can't get herself to transform. 

"Please don't." Makoto cries out, reaching out to Akechi. He pulls back in disgust before walking back into the shadow. Suddenly, she sees a tall shadow spawn in front of her. Their arm pulls back, and Makoto closes her eyes to brace for impact. 

When she opens her eyes again, she's back in her room, looking up at a white ceiling. Without thinking, she reaches over to her phone. She's not sure what she's doing until she sees the screen turn into a call, with Ryuji on the other line.

"What the fuck, Makoto? It's like 3am." A sleepy Ryuji says on the other line. Sleep-deprived, she feels the guilt of waking him and wasting his time weighing down on her. It makes her hyperventilate more, and she starts to cry. 

"God I'm so stupid! Ijustcantseemtogetabreakevenwhen I-" 

"Shit, slow down!"

"Never mind!" She hangs up and turns off her phone. In retrospect, her brain was hoping for some type of comfort, the last bit of relief she could get was from him. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but she couldn't get any of it out. She lays back down, looking up at the small lines of light bleeding through the curtains. There aren't many, but she counts them over and over again until she starts to doze off again. 

A few blocks away, Ryuji screams into his pillow. He was half asleep answering, how was he supposed to know Makoto wasn't okay? He tries to call her back, but hits her voicemail over and over. It felt like he was just ruining every single opportunity coming his way. He was starting to accept the fact that he'd never date Makoto because he just couldn't seem to get anything right with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, few things! 
> 
> I think some of my favorite comments ever came from the last chapter because of all the universal 'fuck akechi' So thank you to everyone who did comment, I really do enjoy reading them. 
> 
> Also, another one of my favorite chapters ~~and it might be for some of you as well~~ is coming next week ! So something to look forward to since this wasn't too Ryukoto-heavy.


	16. Call Me A Fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of shameless self-promotion before we go into this chapter. 
> 
> I started another fanfic, it's Futaba/Yusuke (You Can Maybe Touch The Art). It takes place at the same time as this fanfic, but if Yusuke was in Futaba's social link instead of Akira. It's a lot shorter (10 ranks, so 10 chapters) if you're interested, the first chapter is out already and it'll be updated on Tuesdays :)

Haru: Good news everyone!   
Ann: OMG, tell us!   
Futaba: Is it related to jerk-face?   
Haru: He came up to me and talked about ending the contract my father and he created. He felt horrible about everything, and asked for my forgiveness! He's not my fiance anymore!   
Makoto: That's great news Haru :) 

Friday night comes in the blink of an eye, and while she was happy to get the news from Haru, her stomach was in knots. She wasn't sure what the plan was, but she was told to dress formally. When she looked in her closet earlier, the closest thing she had was a form fitting black dress Ann had bought her months ago. She had yet to wear it out besides the one time she tried it on in the shop, but there was a time for everything. 

She didn't worry too much over her make-up, only covering up a few red spots and mascara on her eyelashes. She briefly considered doing more but decided against it. Instead, Makoto went back into her closet to look for shoes to match. Her best bet was a pair of black flats she normally used for school. They weren't in the best shape, but it was enough to make her look nice. 

"Makoto, I think Akechi's here for you," Sae called from the other room. It was one of the rare nights when Sae was home, and Makoto was sure it was because she wanted to be there to see her go on her date. She takes one last look at herself before going into the living room. 

Sae is sitting on the living room couch, with papers overtaking the coffee table. There was a small cup of tea in the corner of the tea, which Sae grabbed as she looked over the paperwork. Looking up, she smiles at her sister. 

"I think it's a bit much," Makoto says, trying to cover the skin exposed on her upper arms with her hands. 

"You look great, it's going to be a good night I promise." Sae stands up, going to give her sister a hug. 

"Thanks sis." The hug feels warm. She almost forgets the trauma her sister's palace had caused her over the last few weeks. Almost. 

"Listen," Sae starts, pulling back. "I know I've been busy, but when all this is over and I catch the Phantom Thieves, let's go on vacation. I'll take us somewhere nice, somewhere warm." 

Makoto wants to hide in her room. It had been months since she felt like her sister cared about her, and now that she was going out with the detective prince, she was extra nice. It felt ingenuine to her like she was trying to get on her good side but not much else. 

"I should get going, don't stay up too late." Makoto walks toward the door. 

"I might leave tonight as well, but in case I don't see you, be careful and have fun." Sae smiles, waving Makoto off. She turns the door, walks through, and closes it behind her. She sees Akechi waiting patiently a few steps away on the sidewalk. He's facing the road, shuffling from side to side. 

"I hope I didn't leave you waiting for too long." Akechi turns around, showing a bouquet of flowers. 

"Not at all, you look great by the way." He smiles. "Here, I wanted to get you something small." The bouquet is far from small. It was filled with red and orange flowers, some of which she knew weren't native to Japan. They were lovely, but she felt weird taking them. 

"Oh, thank you." Makoto takes them anyway, unsure of what to do with them. 

"You can keep them in the car, no need to hold onto them." He quickly kisses her on the cheek, making her uncomfortable. Before she can say anything, he's walking ahead. She follows Akechi down the street to an all-black car. He opens the door for her, and he shuffles in next to her. It's all black on the inside as well, with a leather interior. She's sure it's not a cheap car to rent. 

Akechi speaks briefly to the chauffeur, and they're off. Makoto, wanting to keep a small distance between her and Akechi, places the flowers in the middle seat. 

"Where are we headed?" Makoto asks. 

"I figured dinner would be nice, nothing too complicated for a first date. Now if there's another one, then maybe we can consider something more exciting." He winks. She feels… empty. Makoto figured it might be the nightmare and the worries she had after facing Haru's ex-fiance. No matter what she did, she just couldn't shake the feeling.

It's small talk on the way there. They talk about school, Phantom Thieves business (while remaining secretive), and overall life in Tokyo. It's nothing remarkable, and Makoto maintains a relatively serious face during the entire talk. When the car starts to slow down, Makoto looks out the window, realizing where they are. She knew this wasn't too far from Haru's house, implying the cost of the dinner. 

"Akechi this place looks really expensive, are you sure about this? I don't think I can afford it." Makoto cautiously says. It was the truth, but she also felt herself looking for an out.

"Nonsense, tv studios are paying me a ridiculous amount of money to appear and talk about my work. Besides, dinner was always going to be on me." Makoto takes a deep breath before stepping out of the car. 

The restaurant blends in well with the other tall buildings around it, despite being a three-floor building with white accents. There was an elegant double staircase in the front, leading up to the main doorway. They walk up the stairs, with Akechi holding the door open for her. While they wait for the hostess to return, he wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in. She's again interrupted before she can protest. 

"Hi, I have a reservation for two under Goro Akechi." He says to the hostess. She does a double-take, seemingly freaking out when she notices it's him. 

"One moment please, let me make sure everything is ready for you and your date." She runs off, disappears for a moment before returning. She grabs two menus from the booth. "Right this way." 

She walks them over to the third floor, into a room with few tables, every single one packed except for one in the corner. Makoto passes by several tables, and she feels disapproving eyes on her. On the other hand, the ones who see Akechi all seem to light up. Finally, they reach the corner table, overseeing a small pond in the back of the restaurant. The hostess leaves the menus, promising the waiter would be there momentarily. Makoto picks up a menu and feels a heart attack from the prices. 

"Akechi this is way too expensive, I really can't accept this," Makoto asks, practically begging to leave. Instead, he waves her off. 

"I'm paying for it, order whatever you'd like without feeling guilty." He says, not looking up from his own menu. She sighs, frustrated with being essentially ignored by him. Looking over the menu, she finds the cheapest option she likes: a simple noodle soup. She was amazed a noodle soup could be so expensive, considering how cheap she normally found them. The only other place she'd heard of somewhat expensive noodles was talking with Ryuji -

_Oh, Ryuji._

Makoto starts to feel sad. She's not over him, still clinging onto the possibility of them. Instead of seeing a troublemaking blonde in front of her, it was a charismatic celebrity, and he'd chosen to date her. 

"Good evening, my name is Lin and I'll be your waiter for the night. What are you considering for tonight's meal?" The two place their orders, and when Makoto places hers for a simple noodle soup, she thinks she sees a slightly disapproving look from Akechi out of the corner of her eye. She ignores it, giving the waiter the menu back. 

"One of the best restaurants in town and you order a noodle soup? I'm surprised." He comments. There it was, the confirmation she needed. He could act suave, but he would likely still find ways to criticize her. 

"I'm not feeling too well, I'd prefer to play it safe." She lies, smiling through her discomfort with the situation. She looks outside, down at the pond below. It's a beautiful little area, with some of the last living plants of the season in bloom. She knew it wouldn't be long before the plants died from the cold, but it would be worth it once spring came around again. 

"Are you listening?" She gasps, looking right back at Akechi. The lights from the buildings behind him drown out his face, making his features look darker and more detailed than they normally are. 

"I'm sorry, I was just admiring the pond below. It's quite beautiful." She says, trying to salvage the conversation. 

"I suppose so. It must be nicer when it's warmer out. Everything out there looks practically dead already." He shrugs, not even looking outside.

"Yeah, that's true. So...what do you like to do for fun?" The conversation is tedious and awkward. She's not sure if he's enjoying himself, but she finds herself bored. He seemed to fit the bill of what she would want on paper. 

Sure, Akechi cared about his studies, was ambitious to move up in the world and kept an overall professional profile. If she wanted that, she would talk to herself or her sister. Instead, she was bored of having too many things in common. What could she really learn from him?

After twenty minutes, their food arrives. Makoto's soup comes in an intricate white bowl, with small flower designs along the sides. Akechi receives a platter of seafood, some items she knew were outrageously priced. Instead of protesting again, she quietly eats her soup. When asked questions, her responses get shorter and shorter each time. He doesn't seem to notice. 

At long last, he asks for the bill. When it's brought over, she tries to catch a peek, but Akechi snatches it before she can look. She couldn't remember exactly what his order was from the menu, but from the brief time she spent looking at it, it was worth more than she'd likely spend on food for the next two weeks. 

"Thank you for the meal, Akechi," Makoto says, watching him take out the cash for the meal. He leaves a fairly good tip, at least she assumed he does based on the bills she sees. 

"Of course, and if you'd like you can call me Goro." He says, reaching over to tightly squeeze her hand _...I can't do this._ She feels the pink flush up to her face. Losing the last of her patience, Makoto yanks her hand back and jumps out of her seat. She no longer cared about the eyes watching her from the other tables, or the snooty comments she thought she heard. All she wanted to do was escape, and leave the building. 

Makoto makes it out of the building, running down the stairs until she sits on the last bottom step. She felt her anxiety bubbling over. She wasn't sure why him saying his first name like that stressed her out so much. Maybe it was the commitment, the fact that he felt close enough to tell her to do so. He had been calling her Makoto for ages now, in part to already working with her sister. But for her to call him Goro? She just couldn't do it. 

"Makoto what are you doing? Are you trying to embarrass us?" Akechi says, coming down the steps behind her. Makoto shoots up, standing up on the sidewalk. 

"I'm so sorry, I just felt so -" 

"I have a reputation to maintain, I can't afford to have the media spin a story about this. Gosh I knew you were difficult before but I thought you had changed!" He exclaims, his eyes filled with rage. 

"What?" Makoto squeaks out. 

"If I knew you were going to waste my time this way, I wouldn't have asked you out in the first place. You’re more difficult than I thought..." He trails off, using his fingers to massage his temples. 

_Difficult, useless..._

_I’m getting tired of taking shit from people._

_Especially people like him_

"Shut up! If your only intention is to better your reputation or have a woman on your arm then I'm not it!" Makoto tries to walk off but feels his hand grip her wrist. 

"Don't do this," Akechi says darkly, but when she looks at him, she sees he’s genuinely pleading with her. Did he actually like her that way…? "I can forgive you for this, we can move on. Let's try again next Friday."

As bad as she felt for him in that moment, she had to remember who the real enemy was. Making up a fake appearance to appease him would never make her happy.   
"Then you'll be doing it on your own." She frees herself from his grip, refusing to look back. She reads the signs along the street, navigating herself back to the train station. It takes no time at all for her to make it back to Shibuya. 

While at the station, she pulls out her phone to use while waiting for the train. Surprisingly, there are no texts from Akechi. She exits her messages, seeing the same red-eye application. Going through it, she allows herself to be taken in by the metaverse. 

And Queen was furious. Running down the steps she jumps off the platform and rips off her mask. When she lands, she lands perfectly on Johanna. From there, she roars the engine and speeds down the endless hallways. Sticking to the first few floors, she ran directly into shadows, not giving them a chance to fully transform before they're killed. In a bizarre way, it relaxes her. 

At one point, she sees a group of them, four stuck together in an intersection. She laughs, revving the engine and allowing herself to go fast. The last time she went that fast, she nearly ran into the wall. She slams through the four of them, seeing another shadow at the end of a small sub hallway.

"You're next!" She shouts, driving up to them ready to run it over. Instead, she sees it frantically jump off the tracks to the side and wave it's arms up. The closer she gets the more clear the image becomes, and the more conflicted she starts to feel. She slows down to see Skull, standing tall with his spiked mace in hand. 

"What the hell?" He says aggressively, approaching her as well. "Why aren't you off sucking Akechi's face?"

"It’s - That's none of your business, why are you down here alone?"

"I’m pissed, I needed to kill shit. Now why ain't you off on your little date with him?" 

Skull had a hard few days. Since the call with Queen in the middle of the night, he felt like his life was crashing down on him. It got to the point where he felt so mad, that he decided to go and fight lower level shadows on his own. It worked, up until he ran into her. But with her here, and the clear disappointment she seemed to have, he knew something was up. 

"Well we’re not a couple or anything so why do you care who I go out with? You’re the one who yelled at me when I needed you.” Queen fired back, not expecting to let her thoughts slip out at the end. She was still bitter about calling him, even though she knew she shouldn’t have called him at that time. 

“I was half asleep, what did you want me to do?” He shouts. She rolls her eyes, and sees her about to walk off. 

“I’ve been dealing with enough tonight, I don’t need more boys yelling at me that I’m stupid,” Makoto says on the verge of tears. He had a choice to make; he could confess right now, just help her as a friend, or choose to move with his life and end their friendship here. Tonight, he already felt reckless, and with how she was carrying herself, he knew it was a risk either what. 

“Wait, please!” Makoto hears his plea and closes her eyes to consider her own choices: Walking away, or hearing him out. She was keener to listen to Ryuji than Akechi. She sighs, turning around to face him again with her arms crossed

"I know you don’t like him that way.” His voice is a lot softer than before. She allows Johanna to disappear but keeps her mask off. Skull lifts his and walks closer to her, attempting to close the distance. He had to be careful; with her staying where she was instead of moving back, he knew maybe there was a chance.

"But since when do you care who I like?” Queen says, letting him get close to her. They're a foot apart, at most. Neither one of them moves. They both hope for the same thing but don't realize it. Now was the time, and Skull had to be fully honest with her.

“I just…” He trails off, feeling his chest tighten. He didn’t want to mess up and risk everything he wanted with her. “I mean…” But the words kept failing Skull. The idea of rejection paralyzed him. 

“If you have something to say to me, just say it.” He could already feel her drifting away. 

_No, no runnin’ away this time._

"I want you-” He pauses, feeling the stress come back to him. He had to push through. “I want you to be with someone you like, not some random guy who takes his shit way too seriously. And if you’re stuck down here with me instead of up there with him, then maybe he ain't worth it. You deserve to be happy, with a guy that’ll make ya happy."

If there was any anger left in her body, the last of it leaves her body. It was unexpected and sweet, and she felt happy. She thought this was how she was supposed to feel on the date, and instead, she was down here with him. Feeling whole and content with where she was. She didn't need a fancy dinner or a rich boyfriend. She needed him. 

"Ryuji I -" He's tired of talking. 

Instead he gently grabs her face with his hands and kisses her. She's unsure what to do at first but starts to kiss back. Eventually she moves her hands from her sides to wrap around his neck. He lets go of her face and moves his hands to her hips, bringing her in closer. Her fingers weave through his blonde hair, twirling the strands she can. After some time, they pull apart to breathe. She hides her head in his shoulder to ensure he can't see her red face. However, he doesn't let go of her, moving his arms around to wrap around her waist. 

"Shit... you have no idea how long I've been dyin' to do that. I know you probably feel weird and stuff, but I really, really like you." Skull says, allowing himself to speak freely. He brings his hands back down to her hips, pushing her slightly off so he can see her face. She's bright pink, and he can't help but laugh. 

"This was fairly unexpected." She straightens herself out, brushing her hair back in place with her hands. "But to answer your earlier question, we ate a restaurant, and I decided to leave. I couldn't be around him any longer. Anytime I considered something better, you kept coming up in my mind." 

Skull was stunned that it actually worked out. Even with her accepting Akechi's offer, she still didn't like him. She also didn't pull away during this kiss, surprising both of them. Behind Queen, he spots a shadow behind her. He pulls out his gun and shoots it a few times. At this point, many of the shadows this high up we're weak enough to kill with just one nasty glare.

"We should leave Mementos." Skull offers, and Queen agrees. They were close enough to the top to walk back to the entrance within five minutes. 

During the transition back, Makoto remembers her revealing outfit. It's much later now, and she feels the cold autumn air hit her skin. Even though they were inside a building, there were still open doors everywhere. 

"Damnnnn you dressed up like that? You look hot," Ryuji said, admiring Makoto in the dress. It took him a second to realize that she must be cold in her dress, while he was bundled up for the weather. He took off his thicker coat, keeping on a thinner jacket. He hands it to her, and this time, she takes it without question. “S-sorry.”

"Let's find somewhere to sit around here that's a little warmer," Makoto says, walking towards the underground walkway. It's a little busy considering it's a Friday night, but it was easier for the two of them to blend in. They eventually find an empty bench, both of them squeezing in. 

"Since we're being honest, I've been a real dick to you. I got real jealous of Akechi askin' you out and you sayin' yes when you barely know the guy." _May as well get it all out there,_ he thought. 

"I didn't like him either. I knew my sister would, she was ecstatic at the idea of us dating. I think she was blinded by the idea she didn't notice how sad I really was…" 

"So why give Akechi a chance in the first place?” Ryuji asked, confused. If she never wanted to date him, why give him the opportunity to catch feelings in the first place? 

“Because I didn’t care about Akechi the way I care about you. If I never talk to him after this it'd be too soon with everything he’s done. But you? I can't do that, even if we have had trouble the last two weeks” Makoto responds, closing the front of the jacket. It was warm, and while it wasn't enough to fully keep the cold away, it smelled like the cologne she smelled from him sometimes. 

"Yeah I'm sorry about me flaking on our deal." He'd forgotten about it until now, but he didn’t feel like it was going to help either of them to waste her time studying older material. She was a third-year and had much harder material than he did. “But, uh, I’ve been doing good though. I got an A on-” 

Makoto gasps. “You got an A on an assignment?”

Ryuji scratches the back of his neck, “Yeah, it wasn’t a big deal honestly. Somethin’ simple.” She leans over to excitedly hug him briefly. 

“All the work you’ve put in, it’s paying off. I knew if you only applied yourself, you would eventually see a return on your investment.” While she hadn’t studied with him lately, she had to agree that he didn’t need her anymore. If he can get an A after inconsistent study sessions, then he would be fine without her. 

“Yeah, my Ma was real proud… Anyway, I know you’re probably all stressed out because of Akechi, but I meant everythin’ I said down there.” He takes a deep breath in, “Would you go out with me?” Makoto stares at him for a second, processing the night she’s had thus far. 

In the span of a few hours, she’d gone on a date with Akechi, one of the biggest celebrities in Tokyo at the moment. After she realized she couldn’t take it anymore, he insulted her, leading her to break out and run away. Going into Mementos as an escape, she ran into Ryuji, who was also using the space as an escape. After a short encounter, they kissed… and she enjoyed every second of it. 

“What if it goes poorly? I don’t want to lose you as a friend. You see how awkward it is for Akira and Ann right now, what if that’s us in a few months?” 

He shrugs. “Guess we won’t know unless we try. Look, I ain’t asking for you to date me forever, I just want a chance. You make me happy, and I wanna see if I can do the same for you.” She ponders the proposition. Almost every part of her is ready to say yes, but if something like earlier were to happen, she’d be devastated. 

“Let’s make a deal. I’ll go out with you if you promise to keep it a secret - at least for now. And we’re also going to have to sneak around my sister. I’m pretty sure she’s expecting good news when I get home.”

Ryuji scoffs, “Course she is. But don’t worry, I kept up with the other deals, this ain’t any different. You wanna try next Friday? I don’t wanna pressure ya to go out this weekend.” 

“Yes, I’d really like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it only took 16 chapters (with 14 to go), but it HAPPENED. Obviously, this isn't the end of their problems, especially since we're only at the halfway point for chapters, but at long last, we have a confession!


	17. Ordinary Life

The Phantom Thieves continue through Sae’s palace, finding themselves stuck at a barrier. After a short visit to the courthouse to show Sae they could enter her space, the barrier is wide open. Makoto doesn’t think much of the past palace visit, considering they ran into the barrier fairly quickly. The latest one, however, proves to be a challenge in itself. 

As Queen, she found it easier to go into the palace each time. It didn’t exactly remove the physical symptoms she felt, like sweaty palms and mild nausea. Instead, her anxiety is mildly easier. She contributes this to not seeing Sae as often as she expected. As a palace ruler, she kept her distance after the initial visit. Surprisingly, Joker didn’t pry for details either after trying to see if she had been earlier. Whether it was due to his own circumstances or his crazy schedule making him forget, it was better for her. 

What wasn’t better was Crow’s treatment of her. 

Any chance he had to ruin something, he did. At one point, he offers an idea as his own, knowing full well Queen had mentioned it during previous meetings. When both are in the starting lineup, he ensures he kills the ones she has an advantage over and purposely leaves those with psychic damage alive. She finds herself downed more times than she normally would in a palace. 

“Queen, I’m going to move you to standby. Noir, you’re up.” Joker says in the safe room. They weren’t even halfway through the palace, and he was already changing the line ups. 

“We’re not even halfway through, why are you only putting me back?” Queen asks, with the rest of the groups sitting awkwardly around the table. No one knew why she was being pushed so much, but Crow did. 

“You seem to be struggling today, and it’s fine we all have our days -”

“Well tell Crow to stop sabotaging me.” She turns her attention to Crow, who sits at the corner of the table. “Yeah, I see what you’re doing. Quit it.” He smiles, and she knows what’s coming.

“Did you sleep well? I’m going after ones that also have a weakness to my abilities. I fully agree with Joker’s decision. Besides, you’d be more helpful in the back. Focus on healing with Panther.” She couldn’t deny it, they also tended to have weaknesses to curse or bless damage. And with his almighty move, he could take down any shadow he wanted to. Not down them, but at least bring their health down. 

“Let’s move forward, no other changes for now,” Joker says, ending the meeting. With the addition of Crow, the standby team was large enough to form their own team, with four members since Oracle never directly fought. They rarely had to fight against those shadows, but when they did, it was much easier with a full team. Queen hated being in the back, having to deal with Crow charming his way into the front line. She knew it would eventually come to end, with Joker holding a separate meeting without Crow on Sunday night. Joker, Futaba, and Morgana talked about Crow’s lies as a persona user and walked through the rest of the team about a plan to safely get through. Unfortunately, that was still weeks away, and until then they had to pretend Crow’s deal with binding. With Joker’s plan to finish the palace today, she knew she had to deal with it a little longer. 

Once the main team finishes securing a route, they reunite and the large group makes their way back through the palace to the outside entrance. Walking through the same familiar hallways, Queen feels a sense of relief. It was almost over, after the final visit this entire place would disappear. She’d hope all the trauma she had would disappear along with it, but she wasn’t so sure. Her nightmares were less frequent but felt more intense. No matter what, she can’t remember more about her visit, almost like her brain was locking it away for her own safety. Now outside, she hears a shuffle of footsteps jogging up behind her

“Shame you had to get in the way of your team today,” Crow comes up and whispers into her ear. 

“Shut it. What’s your problem, are you still mad that I turned you down and didn’t agree to a second date?” Queen says a little more loudly, attracting the attention of those around her. 

He laughs, choosing to speak up now. “Please, if anything I dodged a bullet with you. Not my fault you turned out to be a _disappointment._ ” 

_Disappointment_   
_Burden_   
_Brat, wasting my time…_

The words echoed in her mind again, bouncing back and forth. She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t do it. Not here, and definitely not now. She couldn’t let him win. Before she can respond, she sees an electric burst hit a few feet away from Crow. She quickly turns out to see Seiten Taisei, Skull’s newly awakened person. He had mentioned it to her beforehand but hadn’t had a chance to see it until just now. Skull looked furious. 

“Apologize to her.” Skull had kept his distance the entire time, not wanting to intervene, but when he called her a disappointment, he knew he couldn’t hold back anymore. His plan was never to attack Crow, but to provide a warning shot. He was deadly serious and would do anything to help her. 

Crow laughs again. “Are you her boyfriend now? The knight in shining armor?” He turns his attention back to Queen. “You couldn’t even wait a week before moving on.” 

“Shut up!” 

“Make me.” Crow summons Robin Hood but doesn’t hesitate to send a cursed attack towards him. Queen jumps in front of Skull, easily blocking the attack. “I see now. All bark and no bite. Tch, you two are a match made in heaven.”

“That’s enough!” Joker barks, getting in between the three of them. “Put away your personas, and stop fighting.” There’s a tense moment before the two comply, placing their masks back on. Crow stomps away, the first to leave the palace. Everyone stands around awkwardly before leaving as well. 

\--

“Ryuji, stay behind,” Akira says. After a short debriefing and deciding to hold off on sending the calling card for a few weeks, everyone is sent home following a tense and false apology between Akechi and Ryuji. Ryuji just wanted to go home, but he knew it wasn’t happening with Akira asking him to stay behind. 

“Look man I already apologized, I dunno what more you want,” Ryuji complained, placing his backpack back on the ground. 

“I wanted to talk to you as a friend, not your leader. What’s going on, I knew Akechi and Makoto had a date but it seemed really tense in the palace. I thought at first it had to do with the meeting we had before, but after you nearly fought, I figured there was something more since you got involved.”

“Man…” Ryuji contemplates talking to Akira about last Friday. He knew he could trust him with anything since he was kind enough to help Ryuji through his own problems regarding the track team. Then again, he explicitly promised Makoto not to tell anyone. He figured if anything, she’d at least tell Haru. Why shouldn’t he at least tell Akira? 

“If it’s too complicated, it’s fine. I just wanted to make sure you two were okay, I know you like her.” 

“Yeah it’s cool. I think somethin’ might happen soon. Somethin’ good.” Ryuji smiled. It was vague enough to not say it, but everything Akira needed to have an idea of what was coming. 

“That’s great, I’m happy for you.” Akira takes off his bag, reaching inside of it. He shuffles with the contents before pulling out a small plastic wrapper. Ryuji didn’t have to guess what it was. He grabs Ryuji’s hands and places it in his palm, “I get a feeling you’ll need this.”

“For real, man? Dude I - it ain’t what you think.”

Akira shrugs. “Just take it. Worst case scenario at least you know what one looks like.” His statement makes them both laugh, before Ryuji decides to put it in his pocket. He looks up at his friend, knowing he probably had plans to use with Ann as well. What happened between them was none of this business, but he still felt the need to bring it up.

“Um, I’m sorry about Ann. I know it ain’t easy losing her like that.”

“I’m not going to hold her back from what makes her happy,” He vaguely answers. Akira puts his backpack back on, and they start walking toward the station. There’s more to it, more that Akira was holding back on. Was there another reason for it? Based on the somewhat distressed look on Akira’s face, Ryuji decides not to press for information.

“Yeah, she seems happier. What about you, man? Seems like you got a certain red-head first year crushing hard for ya.” Akira's eyes bulged out, making Ryuji laugh. Ryuji had noticed in school more recently. Kasumi Yoshizawa, a gifted gymnast and first-year at Shujin, had been vying for more of Akira’s time. Akira seemed somewhat oblivious to it when asked about it earlier, but he hoped maybe he got the hint. 

“She texted me right before we went into the palace today, she wants to meet at the jazz club in Kichijoji. I haven’t responded to her yet actually -” 

“Dudee you gotta go! She’s totally askin’ ya out!” Ryuji was pumped, wanting Akira to have something good in his life again. The break up was rough, and as much as he liked having his best friend, he knew he also deserved someone to be happy with. He wasn’t sure about Yoshizawa, but based on the way she looked at him, she had to be head over heels for him. 

“I’m not sure what to say. I don’t want to imply that this is a date, we’re just two friends hanging out.” 

“Then just say yeah and go! You don’t gotta label it or anything. Besides, who cares if you catch feelings? Just do it!” Akira pulls out his phone, looking down at the messages from her. Ryuji, peering over his shoulder, sees his friend send a simple response back. He apologizes for taking a long time to respond and accepts her offer. Within seconds, she sends back an excited response, asking to call when he gets home so they can work out a time. 

“She seems happy, it’s nice.” He looks down at his phone. Ryuji recognizes the look; it's the same way he looks at his phone whenever he gets a text from Makoto. He smirks, looking at his friend with kind eyes. 

\--

Makoto sits in front of her computer, considering everything she’s felt over the past two months. Her research was short, as it was a quick find. Although, she was in denial of the possibility of her escalating to this point. But no matter what she did, it kept leading back to those four words.

_Post-traumatic stress disorder_

Makoto’s symptoms seem to fit in with at least half of the requirements. She was petrified every time she walked in Sae’s palace (even if it was easier for her now than it was before), and the physical symptoms bothered her to no end. She’d lost some of the passion she had for student council president and school. Her grades hadn’t suffered too much, but it was noticeable to her. The one thing keeping her motivated for the Phantom Thieves was the possibility of going to jail if her identity was exposed. She couldn’t even remember parts of the visit, only certain moments and phrases all tied to Sae. 

Worst of all, the nightmares didn’t stop. Anytime she had a nightmare, it had something to do with the palace. Some of the themes were so consistent, she swore it had to have happened. There was no way for her to know without talking about in detail with Ryuji, but even months later, she didn’t feel ready to ask him everything that happened. 

The website was straightforward with her, stating to avoid self-diagnosing if possible. She wasn’t dumb; she knew it would be truly impossible to know if the first visit to Sae’s palace had done enough to cause her this much stress all on her own. But even just the possibility frightened her, more so because she couldn’t do anything about it until the palace was gone, and Akira was alive at the end of it.


	18. Only If For A Night

At the same time as last Friday, Makoto gets ready in her room for her date. This time, she dresses more casually, feeling like herself again. She doesn't spend much time getting ready, choosing to instead spend her extra time studying until Ryuji texts her. They had texted earlier that week about plans, opting to play billiards and darts, followed by a visit to Ryuji's house to play video games. For Makoto, it was more a matter of learning about the games, since she hadn't done more than play a handful of match-3 games on her phone.

Following a short text, she grabs her purse and walks into the living room. She felt relieved, knowing Sae was not likely to come back until late that night, and Makoto had planned on returning home long before then. She turns off the lights and locks the door. 

Despite Sae not being around, the two had decided to play it safe, with Ryuji waiting for her at the train station. It was a short walk for her, passing by the similar houses along the way. On the walk, she thinks about how much more relaxed she is overall. Even though she was essentially sneaking out on a date with someone her sister might not really approve of, she was giddy with excitement. She had liked him for months, and to finally have a date with him meant everything. 

As she turns the corner, she opens the door to enter the station. Makoto's heart skips a beat when she sees him leaning against the wall. He hasn't noticed her yet, but she could tell he looked nervous. 

"Hey, you ready to head to Kichijoji?" Makoto grabs his hand unexpectedly. She was feeling confident today, and it was something Ryuji loved to see. 

"Totally, let's go!" Hand in hand, they walk over to the platform. It's a short wait, with the train already slowing to a stop by the time they arrive. The two shuffle in, sitting next to each other. It would be a long ride, but they could go directly to Kichijoji from there. Makoto lets go of his hand, adjusting the purse to sit on her lap. 

"It's been a while since we've been there," Ryuji says, stretching his arms up before bringing them back down. "Remember when we used to come here all the time?" 

The Phantom Thieves started going back when it was just the four of them. Over time, the team grew a little too big to bring all together. While they still did reunite there from time to time, it became less common when their group became a household name, and non-existent when Akechi joined. 

"Yeah, I miss going there. It's a nice spot, and the staff seemed to like us." Makoto remarks, watching the Tokyo scenery emerge. They were finally out of the tunnels briefly, passing beside tall corporate buildings before entering Shibuya. 

"I ain't great at darts, but I could definitely kick your ass at billiards." Ryuji jokes. He knew he probably couldn't beat her. From the few times he had seen her, she was phenomenal. Her coordination proved useful with something as skill-heavy as billiards. 

"Oh really?" Makoto says suspiciously, her smiling teasing what was to come. "Then you won't mind a bet then." 

"Sure, what's your bet?"

She playfully tapped on her chin a few times before speaking. "I already know I'll beat you, but if you do happen to win, the second date is guaranteed." 

_Oh shit, it's on._ Ryuji laughed, sticking his hand out to accept her deal. They shake on it. 

"Hope you're free next Friday for our second date then." 

There's a handful of more stops before they finally arrive. They walk through Kichijoji, having to pass by a few shady places to reach the place. When they arrive, they walk up the steps and pay for a session with the table. The employee recognizes them and throws in a free dart game on the house. Despite initially protesting their generosity, they give in and accept. But first, it was time for Ryuji to win that second date. 

"Let's keep it simple for you, how about eight ball?" Makoto says, looking over the pool sticks before picking one a medium-brown one. It had been a while since he had seen Makoto this happy. He attributed it to the date, hoping she was just happy to be free. But man was he ready to win it all. 

"Really coming for me huh? You won't be laughing much when I beat you," Ryuji grabs the only black stick. Honestly, he couldn't really remember how to angle his stick. At a glance, he looked like the type to enjoy playing pool, but really he just liked watching it. 

"I'll break," Makoto says, leaning over the table to remove the barrier. She positions herself at the end of the tables, eyeing the ball accordingly. The white ball flies, breaking up the triangle. On her first hit, she gets two solid-colored balls in. Getting another turn, she shoots another ball in. On her third turn, she fumbles but leaves him in a poor position to gain any points. 

_Welp, there goes my date,_ Ryuji thinks to himself. What was he thinking? Betting their potential relationship on a few games. He has no choice but to go for stripes and hope he can hit enough in. He positions himself based on what he saw Makoto do but misses the stripes entirely. Instead, he pockets the 8-ball. In less than five minutes, he had already lost a game. 

"Shit I'm rusty." He mumbles and looks up at Makoto on the opposite end of the table. She's already setting up the balls for the next game with a pep in her step. If him losing meant she was happy, then maybe it was worth it. After all, she had never said what she got if she were to win. 

"Would you like to break this time?" Makoto asks. Every time he played, he was never the one to break. If it was a large group, it was either Yusuke, Akira, or Makoto. 

"Uh, I feel like I'm gonna eff up this game if I do." She waves him over the end of the table, leaning over the side. She wasn't in front of the ball, instead a few inches away at the end of the table. 

"You see how I'm positioning my arm?" Ryuji copies her stance. "All you have to do is put in just enough power to break it. You don't have to pocket any, although it is a nice bonus." 

Using her stance, Ryuji successfully breaks but doesn't pocket any of the balls in. With this in mind, the game was back on. The game is longer, but Makoto maintains a lead. Towards the end, Ryuji needs to pocket two of his balls, but Makoto is already focused on the 8-ball. He spends the game watching her, getting a better idea of where he went wrong last time. With each move, he improves his stance. Somehow, he amazes himself by pocketing the two balls he needed at the same time and positioning himself with a win. With no effort, he pockets the last ball. 

"Yes! One down, one to go," He celebrates. Makoto laughs at him, already scheming what to do next. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to win or not, since she had a fun prize in mind for herself. Although, he was cute when he thought he had won. Makoto knew what she was doing, and she wanted to let him win at least one game before she decided to win the other or not. 

"Don't celebrate too early, you never know what might happen."

"What are you gettin' out of this anyway? If I get a second date, what's your prize?" Ryuji questioned. She playfully shrugs, ignoring his question. 

For the last time, she goes to break. It's her best yet, pocketing three balls. With that, she decided to take her win. Halfway through, she gives Ryuji one chance to try, but he blows it with only two balls in. From there, Makoto takes the other half and nails the 8-ball in. With that, the balls stay inside the machine, and Makoto is declared the winner. 

"Wow, you really didn't want a second date," Ryuji says plainly. As they put the sticks away, she feels a pang of guilt. 

"You didn't need to win the game to get a second date." Makoto smiles, brightening up his mood. "Besides, I had something a little nicer in mind. When we go to your house, I'd like you to cook your best dish for me. I don't care what it is, but I'd like to see you make something."

Ryuji laughs, feeling better about his loss. During the free game of darts, he thinks about what he can make for her. She didn't know this, but he cooked a lot at home. He loved food, but couldn't afford to eat out all the time. So what better way to eat good food than by learning how to make it at home? 

They get close with their game of 501, but are a few points off from winning. They don't think much of it since their minds are both on the next phase of their date: Ryuji's house. Outside of Penguin Sniper, Ryuji fumbles with his jacket. She goes up to him, giving him a tight hug to keep him warm. 

"I don't think that's gonna keep me warm." Ryuji laughs. 

"Darn, I guess you'll have to put on your coat then." Makoto laughs back. With that, he properly puts on his jacket and they leave Kichijoji. Makoto has to admit she was nervous. While he had been over her house a handful of times, she had never seen his apartment. He had mentioned it was smaller than hers, but she didn't know what that meant. 

The size itself wasn't what worried her. It was being alone with him. Sure, she could joke around all she wanted to, because she was used to being friendly with him. But when it came to romance? She felt a little clueless. Makoto worries about this the whole ride back, trying to keep the mood up as much as possible. The ride feels quicker this time, and before she knows it, Ryuji is pulling his keys out of his pockets and opening up the apartment. 

It's nothing fancy, but she immediately understands what he means. Her living room was the size of his kitchen and the main room combined. The living room was one small couch with a television on the wall and a cabinet beneath it. Further in, there was a little kitchen with older cabinetry and appliances. There's no formal dining table, instead, there's a counter with three run-down bar stools. 

Everything was tightly packed together, but Makoto felt like it was a cozy space. 

"It ain't like your place, but it's home." Ryuji places his shoes next to the door and goes immediately to the kitchen. He wasted no time in pulling out eggs, vegetable stock, and noodles from different locations across the kitchen. Makoto sits on one of the bar stools, watching him work away. She had to admit: he looked really attractive like this, so focused on the task at hand. 

He spends about ten minutes silently preparing stuff before he lets the stock cook itself. Warm from the cooking, he rolls up his sleeves and leans against the counter, directly in front of Makoto. 

"Impressed yet?" Ryuji smirks. 

"Yes actually. I knew you enjoyed a good meal, but you look like an expert. Did your mother teach you?" Makoto asks.

"Yeah, she -" He hears hissing coming from the pot, going to check on it. Their conversation doesn't resume, as he finishes the rest of the meal. He grabs two white bowls from a cabinet, quiet until he plates everything. In the end, he made a vegetarian udon noodle soup. He carefully brings it over to Makoto. 

"Wow, this is fantastic." She exclaims after trying it. "It was interesting watching you, but it's nice to see the effort you put in pays off."

"Thanks, where was I?" Ryuji thinks back to their earlier conversation. "Oh, so my Ma taught me. When I was a kid, I'd watch her, and when I was old enough, she let me start helpin' her out." 

"She sounds like a nice woman." She continues to eat her udon, savoring every bite. 

"I'll introduce you one day - Ah! I mean, if you want to. Not gonna push ya to do anything like that if you don't wanna." 

"I'd love to meet her." Makoto takes another bite, before continuing, "How about your father? How is he?" 

Ryuji stops mid-bite. He swallows, looking down at the soup below him. The last time he talked about his dad, the Phantom Thieves were celebrating their success against Madarame, so of course she wouldn’t know. It had been a while since he had to think about him.

"...He ain't around." He says quietly, now playing with some of the food in his bowl. His appetite quickly disappeared, despite nearly finishing his food. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I didn't know." Makoto sighs, finishing the last of her bowl. She sets it aside, placing her hands on the warm spot where the bowl just was. 

"It's cool, you didn't know. You weren't on the team yet when I talked about it. But uh... my old man was alcoholic, he roughed us up pretty bad. Think I was like 6 or 7 when he finally left, and it's just been us since then. I wanted to get a track scholarship to make it up to my Ma, but I eff'd it up with the whole Kamoshida business. She blamed herself for it, but I was the one who tried to hit him." 

Ryuji wasn't sure why he wanted to let all this out, but he knew if they were going to work, he may as well be upfront about some of his baggage. He had a sad background, as they all seemed to have on the Phantom Thieves. Makoto appreciated hearing about his life because it helped her realize why he acted the way he did.

"Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm sorry you can't change the past, but at least you can control your future now. You're already doing that," Makoto looks over at the fridge, seeing his A- on full display and giggles, "Like that grade there." 

Ryuji fumbles to take it off the fridge, placing it on a counter away from them.

"Uh, my Ma put that up, felt like a little kid when she did it… but yeah, you're right. I love her a lot, she's the best." He finishes the last of his meal and takes both of their plates to the sink.

As he washes the dishes, Makoto thinks about her own life. He speaks so fondly of his mother, but she hadn't even seen her mother outside of a few photos. Heck, she was starting to forget memories with her father. Ryuji finishes cleaning and comes back to his standing position across her. 

"What about you? You live with Sae, and we got sad stories." He asks. 

Makoto bites her lip, "Yes… my mother died when I was a baby, and three years ago my father was murdered on the job. I'm lucky that my sister was already an adult, or I may have ended up in foster care. She's always worked hard, but when he passed, she suddenly had to balance me and her career. I've been applying to several prestigious universities, some even outside the country at my sister’s request. But honestly, I'm not sure what I want at all. I want to help people, honor my father's legacy, make my sister's sacrifices worthwhile…" 

The two stay in comfortable silence before Makoto reaches over to grab Ryuji's hands. He looks into her eyes, feeling more at home than he expected. 

"We'll get through this. We decide what we wanna do, not what some adults want us to do." Ryuji says, smiling at her. Despite a load of depressing information, both of them are happy they feel comfortable enough to do so. Makoto felt after all this time, she still could trust him. 

"So… wanna show me that game you based our team attack on?" She grins, letting go and stepping off her seat. He leads her to a door next to the kitchen, showing his bedroom. While he sets up his console on his television, she takes in the room. 

It's cleaner than she expects it to be, but it felt like him. Of all the things, the one she notices is an impressive collection of games. A majority of them were older, but it was a neatly organized shelf. Makoto approaches the shelf, noting how it was slightly taller than she was. She looks through the titles, not familiar with most of the titles she sees outside of Super Mario Bros. 

"Yeah, I gotta clean some of these out." Ryuji walks up behind her, looking through the cartridges. He picks one out from the middle, "Here, I'll show you the game, it's one of my favorites."

As the game loads, he drags over his desk chair closer to the television for her. He connects a remote and passes it to her. 

"I don't know how to play." He sees Makoto awkwardly grab the remote. While they were evenly matched when it came to working out, he felt amazing being able to teach her something new. 

"Drag the chair closer to the bed, so I can help ya." Makoto shuffles over the chair, now next to his bed frame. 

It takes some time, but Makoto understands the controls and gameplay rules. Going through it, he finds himself stepping in more than necessary. Then again, if he had never played games like this before, he probably would've struggled too. Despite the learning curve, Makoto was beaming. She didn't realize that gaming could provide this much potential. Every new discovery was a win in her head, even if Ryuji said it was an easy find. She felt victorious anytime she did something right and upset when she messed up. Eventually, she sees the moment that inspired their team attack. 

"I see where your inspiration came from. However, a lot of our team attack seems to stem from your own thoughts. You just took a concept and greatly refined it." 

"Yeah, it definitely got the gears turnin'," He responds. She plays for a little longer before they both decide to relax and talk instead. As he puts the console away, she looks over at his bed. She placed the chair back with the desk and sat on the edge. She thinks to herself about Akechi touching her, and how uncomfortable she felt. On the other hand, she was expecting Ryuji to do something but...nothing. The entire time they were together, he hadn't tried to touch or kiss her. All physical contact was initiated by her. 

"Ryuji, why haven't you tried to touch me?" Makoto says. He places the console on a shelf, jumping at how loud the sound was. That question had totally caught him off guard. He had his reasons, but he wasn't sure if she even wanted him to touch her. 

"Uh," He turns around, walking back to the bed. He's flustered seeing her on his bed, since it was something he would've wanted, for obvious reasons. "Honestly? I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable. I didn't know how you'd react, and I didn't know what that asshole tried. Didn't wanna trigger somethin' by accident. Plus I kissed you in Mementos without askin', and I shouldn't have done that." 

It was a much sweeter response than she expects. He comes closer but remains standing next to his bed, still trying to maintain her boundaries. 

"If you're worried about boundaries, it's fine. Akechi didn't do anything crazy, and if you do anything he did, it would be fine with me." Makoto says. 

Ryuji takes the hint and sits down next to her. She shifts herself to lay on her back, her head against his pillow. She normally wouldn't feel this comfortable in someone else's home, but this wasn't just anyone's house. After a minute, he lays down next to her, placing his hands behind his head, elbows up. Shoulder to shoulder on his double-sized bed, they look up at the ceiling. Her mind drifts off, thinking about how she'd love to have someone next to her while she was in her nightmares. 

The nightmares. She hadn't told him yet. 

"You okay? What's on your mind?" Ryuji asked.

"Do you remember the cultural festival, when I told you I couldn't remember a lot of our visit to Sae's palace?" He nods. "Well, I've been having these weird nightmares lately. It's always in her palace, and every time the dream is different. I always wake up terrified in the middle of the night. It's… not fun." 

Ryuji listens to her intently. He puts the pieces together, realizing the one time she called him was after a nightmare. If this was a common occurrence, it had to have been a pretty bad one. He already felt guilty about it before, but now it was worse.

"Shit, that sounds pretty bad...Was that uh, why you called?"

"Yeah. You didn't know it, don't worry. I'll try not to bother you. I just - I needed someone. You were the first to come to mind." 

All the trust she had in him continued to prove itself over and over again. It wasn't a one-time thing, it was a real feeling, and he'd be damned if he didn't keep it up. 

"Next time you feel that shitty after a nightmare, text me instead. I'll meet you halfway." He gives her a half-smile, before going to a more serious tone. "But ain't that the type of shit you should get help for?"

Makoto knew it was coming, he seemed to care too much about her to not mention it. 

"Y-yeah, maybe." Her voice shakes slightly. "I'm hoping when Sae's palace disappears, I'll be better. I can't go back to that experience." 

"Don't mean it can't haunt ya. The track team shit was a year ago, and I still can't run like I used to. I'm okay now but I ain't the same. I'm not sayin' you won't get better, but if you're still havin' nightmares, maybe it's more than just her palace." She had already come to the realization that she may have PTSD recently, she didn’t want to ruin her good mood even further because of her own issues.

"Can we stop talking about this, please?" Makoto cuddles up to him, but he stays stiff. Ryuji loved this, but he was worried. Nonetheless, there was nothing he could do about it right now. It hurt him to listen to it, but it hurt her more. They were already having a good time, but the mood was down with the conversation. 

Slowly, he moves his hand to wrap around her shoulder. His hand lands on her waist, and she adjusts her head to lay on his chest. He could feel his heart beating a mile a minute. All his fears and worries melted away, just by looking down at her face. 

"Makoto…" Ryuji didn't know what to say, but she looked up at him anyway. Her own heart beating, she feels like she can do anything. She could be anything she wanted, meaning she could be confident and take the lead. 

"I want to try something with you," Makoto says, moving herself to be on top of him. She rests her hands on both sides next to his ears, making direct eye contact with him. At the same time, she uses her legs to straddle his hips.

"Uhh I… You sure? Please tell me you ain't just using me." Ryuji wanted this, he needed this. All he could think about was everything that could come out of this. He mentally thanked Akira for even giving him the option to consider it, since he had never even bought condoms before. But if she was just doing this as a distraction, it wasn't the right reason. 

"I like you, Ryuji. I want to be with you, and I think you feel this too." 

"Yeah, I really do."

Makoto lowers her face down to kiss him softly. He finally wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. It's slow, and they both take the time to explore each other's bodies. He's careful with her like he's scared if he does something wrong, he'll break her. 

The momentum picks up, and he's a little braver. He moves his hands down her back, stopping at her ass to pull her in a little differently. Their breaths pick up, both pulling apart at the same time to gasp for more air. 

"I.. you okay?" He caresses her cheek. She was more than okay, she felt like she was on top of the world. It was as if nothing else was going on. She was a normal teenager on a date with a boy she was head over heels for. 

"Yeah, but this has gotta go." Makoto sits up and takes off her shirt. She still had a blue tank top underneath, but it left little to the imagination. Ryuji reaches over to her waist, tugging slightly at the undershirt. With no hesitation, she takes the light fabric off along with her bra. It was the first time she had been shirtless like this in front of anyone before. 

"Shit, you're beautiful." He's breathless, and not because of their make-out sessions. Following her lead, he sits up slightly and takes off his t-shirt. Unlike her, it was the only fabric he had on, leaving his bare chest fully exposed. 

"You're not too bad yourself. Although I will say, that is much better to see this in person," Makoto teases. Coming back down, she flips them over and suddenly he's on top. 

His thoughts were more scattered than before. He was ready to just take off his pants and go, but he wasn't sure about how any of this worked. Shit, their pants were still on and everything. Was it supposed to be, or was he supposed to work around it? Of course not, that’s not how sex works -

"Are you okay?" Makoto asks. Ryuji snaps back, seeing a worried look on her face. "If you're uncomfortable we can stop." 

_Shit, we just started! nope nope nope_

"Nah I just, I keep worrying about you and -"

"What's got you so worked up? I'm fine, I want this. Do you?"

"Yes ma'am." He quickly says. "I just, I dunno I ain't ever done this before -"

"I haven't either -"

"So I just don't wanna eff it up… I'm already effin' it up by making it awkward ain't I?" 

"Oh fuck it." 

Makoto flips him back over and she goes down for his belt. With some adjustment, it comes off, and she pops off the button on his jeans. She looks up at him, waiting for some assistance. When he understands, he takes off his pants, dragging his underwear along with him. Fully exposed, Makoto can't help but laugh. 

"I promise I'm not laughing at you. I just… I'm happy if anyone is going to be my first time, it's you." 

Despite a temporary blow to his ego (that laughter had him worried), her comment was all he needed. The momentum from earlier was back, and he wanted her badly. They kiss passionately again, with Ryuji reaching for her pants to take them off as well. They quickly come off as well, leaving her in her underwear. 

He wasn't sure what porn he saw it in, but he used his fingers to lightly tease her along the cloth. A small moan came out her mouth, and he pulled back afraid. 

"Keep...going…" Makoto moaned, urging him to go on. Ryuji continued, feeling her underwear getting wetter and wetter with time. He couldn't explain it, but it turned him on to be like this. Eventually, she reached for her underwear, slipping it off. 

And the realization hits Makoto. 

She was naked, on top of Ryuji at his house, on their first date. Normally she'd freak out since it was totally out of her norm. At the same time, she was in full control of the situation, and it was something she had chosen to do. She couldn't explain it, but she loved it. 

Grabbing his head, she lightly teased him. The satisfaction was all over his face, and it thrilled her. There was nothing better than seeing him this vulnerable, fully at her whim. Sure, he had a chance with her, but she was planning to fully take advantage of this. She lowers herself down, licking slowly around his head. It's enough for him to loudly moan, something that seems to catch him off guard as well. Not wanting to let him come that quickly, she jerks herself back to reach him. 

They were both sweaty messes, partially from the stress of ensuring they were both comfortable with everything happening so quickly. 

"I got a condom if you wanna try-"

"Get it." Something about her demands sent him into overdrive. 

"Y-yup, gettin' it." Ryuji reaches over to his nightstand, opening up the little drawer. It was right on top since he had recently thrown it in there. Using both hands, he carefully rips the package open and slides it onto himself. It was tighter than he expected, but it was better than the latter. 

Makoto adjusts herself, grabbing onto his member at her entrance. She looked at him for a second to make sure it was fine to proceed. He was a mixed bag of emotions, but she continued on. 

"FUCK," Makoto yells, not expecting the pain in her vagina. She eases herself in, going in more and more until she's able to have him fully inside. She was expecting pain, but this was almost unbearable. Briefly, she considers how people could enjoy this enough to get addicted. 

And the next realization hits her when the pain disappears. 

She starts to move slowly, allowing herself to gently grind on him. Anytime she looks at Ryuji, he seems to have a satisfied look. In reality, he was doing his best to hold back. While he did experience some pain initially from how tight she was, it went away far more quickly than hers, and it felt incredible. He grabs onto her face, kissing her gently before moving his hands to her hips. Using his hands, he tried to keep up with the tempo she was establishing. 

"Ryuji… kiss my neck." Ryuji pulls her closer and goes straight for her neck. He starts on the left side before going to the right. Every kiss he gives, the more the speed starts to pick up. 

"Shit, y-you're gonna make me come." Never in his life has he stuttered as much as he did around her. He felt like he was in the palm of her hands, and with how she gripped his shoulders with her fingers, he was content. 

Makoto stops out of nowhere, going to whisper in his ear. "Then come." She starts the pace over, going slow, and building up the tempo. This time, she feels herself coming close as well. He’s able to mimic the motion, feeling his own climax coming on. Their moans get louder, more frequent, more jagged. It's messy and sweaty. 

She makes a high pitched groan. He screams her name. Either way, it's loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

Makoto pulls herself up and flops herself next to him. They take a second to catch their breath, and Makoto closes her eyes. Everything felt just...right. She kept waiting for something to go wrong, something to stop her. But everything was working out perfectly. 

There was nothing for her to worry about. 

Ryuji slips off the condom, tying it nicely and sticking it back in the plastic wrapper. He tosses it in a bin near his bed and stays sitting up to look for his clothes. Nothing was in a single neat spot, but thankfully his underwear was within an arm's reach. For the first time in what felt like ages, he sees the time.

"You should get going, it's gettin' late." Ryuji decides to fully get out of bed, stretching his body as much as he could. He felt amazing after that, almost like - 

_SMACK!_

"Hmm, nice." Ryuji flips back around to see a giggling Makoto. "We may have to try that next time, I love the sounds.”

"What…" It was an odd feeling. He didn't hate it, but he also imagined himself doing it to her…

"That was great, by the way." Makoto stands up and kisses him on the cheek before looking for her own belongings. She didn't want to leave, but she had to agree with him. Sure, her sister wasn't going to be home tonight, but that didn't mean she shouldn't be home at a reasonable time. 

After a short time of looking for clothes and getting dressed, they walked out of his bedroom and lingered in the living room. 

"So… how did I do?" Ryuji awkwardly asked. "Ya think we can get another one?" 

She hugs him tightly. "If it ends the same way this one did, then of course." She releases her grip a little to make eye contact. "Even if it doesn't, you still have me. I'd love to keep going out with you, Ryuji." 

"Cool, because that was really effin' hot. Not to say the other parts weren't fun, because it was. I just -"

She cuts him off with a passionate kiss. Everything she was wanted was right in front of her. Despite the security of luxury and a career with someone like Akechi, she wanted to feel like her life was worth living. With Ryuji, it was all of that and more. 

Makoto pulled away, going for the door. "How about next Friday again? We can see a movie?" She asks. 

"Yeah, there's this new action film coming out." 

"That's exactly what I was gonna recommend we see," She laughs, pausing before continuing. "Well, I'll see you soon." She opens the door and leaves. 

He rushes up to the door, listening to her footsteps trail off. He waits until the sounds disappear before going back into his room and dialing his phone. There was no way he wasn't going to call Akira about this. 

"Hey, Ryuji, what's up?" Akira answers after the second ring. 

"Duuudeee you're never gonna believe what just happened. I just got off my date with Makoto. Best. Night. Ever." Ryuji excitedly exclaimed as he flopped back onto his bed. 

"Really? Tell me about it."

"So we started out by…" He went on to explain the night. Starting with their visit to play billiards, how she easily won against him. He talks about cooking for her and briefly talks about their conversations. He spends little time on the game, opting to instead talk about how helpful the condom was. 

"Spare me the details, she's like a sister to me." Akira laughs over the phone. "But I'm happy for you. I haven't seen you this giddy in a long time."

Ryuji knew Akira was right. After a stint of problems thanks to their Phantom Thief status, it was nice for him to feel like he had done everything right. There were no real mistakes, no consequences. 

Everything was perfect. 

"Yeah man, I- Oh I think Makoto just texted, I think she just got back… hold on man I gotta read this." 

It's silent for a minute. 

"Is everything okay?" 

"No. We'll talk later." 

Ryuji hangs up and throws his phone across the room, not bothering to turn the screen off. He screamed into his pillow, kicking his legs up and down. He felt tears form around his eyes, but he refused to cry. On the other side of the room, his phone stayed open:

Makoto: After careful consideration, I’ve decided there will be no future dates. Please don't ask me further about the matter, Sakamoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday!  
> You're welcome for the smut and fluff, and I'm sorry for the angsty cliffhanger. I feel like about sums up my writing in a sentence. 
> 
> Also fun fact: this was one of the few chapters that had a title before I started writing it.


	19. Brain and Heart

It was a shitty weekend, to say the least. Ryuji tried to text her back, looking to get some type of answer for what happened. But anytime he tried, she never responded. He couldn't figure out what the problem was. The longer he went without an answer, the more his mind tried to piece things together. 

Did she just use him for sex? 

Did she just want to test the waters before inevitably going back to Akechi? 

Was everything she said...a lie? 

It killed him to not know what was happening, and even worse, he was starting to get angry and sad. Maybe it was just a lie. But why lead him on for so long if he was just going to be tossed aside? 

Sunday night was the worst of it. He stayed up, thinking about everything, trying to find the moment where he could've messed. He did his best, what could have made her that angry, this...distant? His thoughts eventually put him to sleep, and when he wakes up Monday morning, he's determined to ignore her as much as she was ignoring him. 

At first, it's not hard at all. Being a second year, he never runs into her on the floor. He drifts off in class, his thoughts well outside the building. It was the only way he couldn't think about her. The only way he wouldn't show his frustration in class. 

_What the hell went wrong?_

The fix is short-lived, but he takes it out in gym class the following period. He pushes himself, hoping to sweat away all the worries and knots he puts himself through. Again, it does nothing. If anything, it fuels his frustrations. He could take out the anger on a physical level, but mentally, he was getting punched over and over again. 

Before Ryuji knows it, it's the end of the day. Not wanting to go straight home, he hangs out in the courtyard alone. He sits on the bench, laying his feet along the other side. Taking a sip out of the can, he tries to center his thoughts. Before he gets a chance to, he sees her. 

"What do ya want?" Ryuji says coldly. Makoto takes a breath in and seems to hold it over her. Friday night's events are on repeat in her mind, leading to that text. 

"I… I'm sorry." Is all she gets out. He crushes the empty can in his hand and slams it on the table. Pulling himself up, he aggressively throws the can in the trash. 

"You send me a text sayin' nothing we did mattered, leave me on read all weekend, and all ya can say is sorry?" Her eyes widen, but he can't get a good read on them. 

"...I can explain-"

"Can you explain how stupid I felt after that? Makoto I thought you actually liked me -"

\--

_"Hey sis, you're home early."_

_"Care to explain where you've been all night?"_

_"...I was helping a friend study."_

_"Don't lie to me."_

_"...where did you get those photos?"_

_"So you cheated on Akechi."_

_“It’s not like that!”_

\--  
"I thought we had somethin', I thought we'd finally worked through this weird tension we had -"  
\--

_"You're throwing your future away by going after this bumbling blonde delinquent -"_

_"His name is Ryuji Sakamoto and I like him more than I will ever like Akechi."_

_"Then move out. My house, my rules."_

_"You can't do this!"_

_"Then end it with him, before I throw you out."_

_"You're out of your mind!"_

\--

"I just gotta know why, please. Why can't ya give me a straight answer?"  
\--

_"Does this work?"_

_"Yes. Send it to him. Give me your phone, you'll get it back Monday. From now on you'll text me who you're with and where you're going until further notice. And if I see you with that blonde again, I will send you out. Understand?"_

_"...understood."_

_“I’m doing this for your own good, Makoto. We have to win, and we can’t win unless we take advantage of everything that comes our way. Got it?”_

_“...yes, sis.”_

\--  
"All I can say is I'm sorry." 

"Just...go, I can't look at ya anymore."

Makoto cries and runs off. She wasn't sure exactly who had taken those photos of her and Ryuji, but if they were a student at Shujin, then the less time she spent with him, the better off she was. She wasn't sure exactly what she had to gain from seeing him again, besides continuing to risk it all. 

All the confidence from the other night vanished with a five-minute conversation with her sister. The palace… it'd totally warped her sense of thinking. Sure, normally Sae may not approve of Ryuji anyway, but she'd give him a chance to prove himself. She would've understood if she didn't want to date Akechi, and she never would've told her to use him to move up in her career that way. 

Her sister still wasn't there right now, no matter how much Makoto needed her. She ran around the glass corner and straight into the building, her eyes focused on just going to the student council room.

"Mako-chan wait!" She briefly saw Haru standing next to a vending machine, but Makoto kept moving. She ran up the side staircase, hearing footsteps behind her. 

"Not now, Haru." Makoto cried on her way up. She fumbles a little, giving Haru a chance to catch up and stop in front of her. She kept her eyes towards the ground, but Haru ducked her head to get a better view of her face. 

"What happened? Why are you crying?" Her voice was soft and welcoming. Makoto picked up her head as she started feeling somewhat okay again. She needed a friend. 

"Can we go to the student council office? I'd prefer not to talk about my business where others can listen in." Makoto gestured to the staircase and the openness. Haru nodded, and they both calmly walked to the office. Once Makoto unlocked the door and the two entered, Makoto gasped.

"Oh no my sister," She fumbled to clean herself up and took her phone out of her bag. "Can you sit here with me?" Makoto pointed to the table. Haru was confused but complied. She quickly cleans up her face, wiping away the tears. Makoto lifted her phone up and took a selfie with Haru, and typed a short text:

Makoto: Working with Haru in the student council office. I'll be home in a few hours.

Sae: Good. 

With that, Makoto puts her phone away and covers her face with her hands, elbows on the table. She felt lost and alone, even with one of her best friends in front of her. 

"Mako-chan, what's going on? Is it Akechi?" She hadn't really talked to Haru since she updated the girls about her fiance. She was told the same day as the Akechi date, and since then, things have built up to this moment. Unfortunately, she just didn't think about relying on her friends. 

"It's… been a little more than that. I'm sorry, normally the worst of my troubles are schoolwork or the Phantom Thieves, but these past few weeks have just been boys. And it just… it escalated. Sae threatened me -"

"She threatened you? Let's talk, it feels like it's been a lifetime." 

Makoto laughs quietly. "I agree. So, guess I'll start from the beginning… When I went out with Akechi, he didn't really do much. We went out to dinner, the worst of it was he kissed my cheek. I ran out, he chased after me, and I left. He’s so confusing, one second he applauds me for growing a spine and the next he criticizes me for it? The whole thing just didn’t sit well with me.”

“...That is odd. So what happened next? Is he still bothering you?”

“No, he hasn’t texted me back since then, and the incident in the palace. Although, my night didn’t stop with Akechi. I went down to Mementos to try and get my anger out, and I ran in Ryuji. We got into an argument, and well… we kissed.”

Haru excitedly gasps. “Oh my goodness! That sounds like quite a night. But you like him, right?”

“That’s part of the problem. We went on a date last Friday, and it was amazing. We both had a great time, and well, this is where Sae comes in. I want to keep going out with him and see if it works. But somehow, she received photos of us on our date, even photos of us going into his apartment! She knew I had the date with Akechi last week, but she was under the impression I cheated on Akechi when in reality, nothing ever happened. She wants me to ask Akechi to go out again, and then she said I either cut it off with Ryuji now, or I get kicked out.” 

“Was she always like this?” 

Makoto had to consider for a second if her sister’s personality was always this rough, or if it was more recent. Her sister has never been overly loving, but she was never to this extent. She sticks with her original thoughts: This was weird, even for Sae. 

“No, the palace distorted her own desires for success so much, she’s taking it out on me as well. She wanted me to use Akechi to move up my own career for crying out loud. If this is going to be my life until we send out that calling card, I don’t know how I’m going to deal with this.” 

Makoto could feel the tears rolling down her cheek again. Haru looked at her with sad eyes, and she felt bad about having her friend listen to her problems. She felt like all of her problems could have been avoided, and looking back, there are a few ways she could’ve done, but frankly, it all stemmed from her agreeing to go on the date with Akechi. 

“Have you talked to Ryuji yet?” Haru softly asks. 

“I… tried. I couldn’t do it, and I hurt him. You should’ve seen him, he was devastated. All I did was stand there and apologize. I wanted to tell him everything, but honestly, I was scared whoever took those photos was still lurking around. I can’t get kicked out, not when we’re so close to changing her heart.”

“Mako-chan… why don’t you stay with me?” 

“I’m sorry?” 

“Move in with me, stay as long as you need to.” 

Makoto couldn’t believe her ears. She’d only known Haru for a few short months, but she was providing her a way out of her house, and a way to be free for the next few weeks. She was so keen on taking her own life into her own hands, and now when given the chance, why did she hesitate so much? Oh, right, she felt like she was a burden. 

“But why? I don;t want to trouble you.”

Haru smiled. “You’re my friend, and I want to help you. It’s also been quiet since my father’s passing, it would be nice to have someone around again. Please, I don’t want to see you suffer another moment. Your sister is clearly causing you great distress.”

She couldn’t believe she’d forgotten how kind Haru was. The girl who nearly killed Sugimura? That wasn’t her, this was Haru. And now that she was opening up to her again, Makoto felt she had no choice. It would benefit both of them for her to move in, even if it was for a short time. Granted, she’d have to do it when Sae wasn’t around and leave as quickly as possible… yes, it was doable. 

“Okay, I guess I’ll accept your offer.” 

“How exciting!”

“Let’s talk about the logistics first before anything-”

 _Knock knock._  
\--

Ryuji: Dude, you better be free right now because I gotta blow off some steam.  
Akira: Is it something video games can fix or is this more of a Mementos trip?  
Ryuji: Both, but Mementos first.  
Akira: Shit that’s bad.  
Ryuji: Im goin’ in now, I’ll be waitin’ for ya, get here asap.

He puts his phone away and quickly shifts into Mementos mode. Skull was already at the station, he was just waiting for the yes from his friend to fully go in. Entering the distorted area, he paces back and forth on the train platform. His steps are loud against the metal floor. When in the team, his steps are normally drowned out by everything else happening. But alone? All he had was his thoughts and the eerily rumblings of Mementos.

The entrance had stayed since entering for the first time, but the deeper they went, the more bizarre the landscape. It almost felt like a moving, breathing thing. For as reckless as he was, even he knew better than to go in the newer depths alone. It was scary enough going in with the team, he couldn't imagine being that deep in Mementos alone. After fifteen minutes of pacing back and forth, Joker finally appeared. 

“Finally, I was wonderin’ when you’d show. Let’s bounce.” Skull jumped down onto the train tracks. Not hearing footsteps behind him, he looked over at his friend. Joker was still at the top of the platform, keeping his hands in his pockets.

“Something tells me you’re trying to run away from a problem. Taking your aggression out on shadows won’t fix anything.” Joker calmly says. 

Skull rolls his eyes. “Aw come on! I’ve been through enough shit, I don’t need this from you.” Joker shifts his feet back and forth, not budging. Skull didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. If an intense work out earlier did nothing, neither was killing a bunch of shadows. Did he want it to? Yeah, that’s the only reason why he wanted to be down here. But Joker knew him better than really anyone else. If talking it out was going to solve a problem, he would make sure he pushed his friends to open up. 

“Come on, you can talk to me about anything." Joker moves forward, only to sit on the platform. His feet dangle slightly above the floor. Skull couldn't really say no to him. He moved back and sat next to him, hoping this would be a short conversation. "What's up?"

_Nah he knows me, this ain't gonna be a short talk at all._

"Makoto. She dumped me after our date. I dunno what I did! I told ya everythin' that happened, I just.. I dunno man, where did I eff up?" 

"Was it the text message you received during the call?" Skull nods. "Can I see it?"

Skull unlocks his phone, going through his messages to find Makoto's. Shit, he'd forgotten the texts he'd sent… it wasn't anything too bad, just kinda embarrassing for him. But he passes Joker his phone, and after reading it over, he speaks without looking up from it. 

"Something's wrong. I don't think she wrote this." He says plainly, a serious look on his face is clear even through the mask. 

"What do ya mean? It's right there. I tried askin' her about it in school today and all she could say was 'sorry', nothin' else." Joker passes Skull his phone back and looks like he's deep in thought. Whenever that look glazed over his face, Skull knew he was likely to get some type of wisdom. Although, it was weird for Joker to say something like that. How could she not have written it? Finally, he sits up straight and snaps his fingers. 

"Sae. She must've known somehow. Even then, Makoto would never call you Sakamoto anymore." Oh. Right, her sister was off the deep end until they sent the calling card and took her heart. But even then…

"Come on, how could she know? We didn't tell anyone about it, I only told you...Unless-"

"Before you say it, I would never betray you like that. You're my best friend." 

"...thanks man. But still, even if Sae did write it, how come Makoto was actin' so weird like she did write it?" Nothing was connecting. He wasn't the brightest guy around, but even he couldn't make any specific connection between her and their date. She was working that night, so how would she know? 

"I think Sae may have coerced her. I can't think of a real way for her to get that information, but if she wasn't happy about Makoto dating you -"

"-which, I get it -"

"-You're a good guy, don't short sell yourself. Anyway, she may have coerced her into texting you it was over. They are siblings, so I would assume she had to know about the Akechi date as well and was displeased with the results. There's a lot of holes, I know it's hard to believe, but I believe Sae and Akechi have to be connected for her text to mention him. I can't explain how she got it or how Akechi is connected, but I know Makoto is innocent." 

Well… Skull fucked up. He spent a good few minutes essentially yelling at her and making her cry, for her to be totally innocent. The guilt came crashing back down on him since maybe all she wanted to do was just offer an apology for something that was out of her control. How was he supposed to know? Still, he shouldn't have yelled at her like that. She's been through a lot recently, and for her to open up to him so much only to immediately shut it down… 

"Shit!" Skull yelled, the realization of his mistake really hitting him. "There's no way I can fix this, I'm in deep shit. I made her cry and she ran off, when she needed me most I wasn't there for her. I literally told her on our date I'd be there for her." 

"I don't think it's too late…"

"Nah man, I'll just move on, I guess. I don't know how I'm even gonna face her when we all gotta meet up and deal with her sister. There ain't gonna be a good time, it's too late… now can we drop this and beat some shit up?" 

"...sure."

\--

“Hello, may I have a moment alone with Makoto?” 

_Akechi. What is he doing here?_ Makoto froze in her seat at the shock of it. How much had he heard? Did he know what was going on? There were a million questions running through her mind, few she would actually ask. 

“What are your thoughts? I’ll follow your lead.” Haru leans, whispering close to Makoto. 

“Wait outside the door. If anything happens, I’ll shout.” Makoto whispered back. Haru stands up, making sure to leave her bag on her chair. She stares down Akechi briefly before exiting the room, closing the door behind her. Akechi stays close to the door, leaving a large space between them. Any closer and she would have asked him to step back. Somehow, he knew her limits. 

“Come to throw more insults at me?” Makoto dryly said. It was harsher than she expected, but it was true. 

“I came to apologize for my recent behavior, both on the date and at Sae’s palace. I clearly stepped over boundaries I didn’t realize were in place. I’m sorry if you feel insulted, it was not my intention.” Makoto crosses her arms. She knew it was an empty apology, everything he did was for his own well-being. He was selfish and was willing to walk over whoever he could to do it. Why else would he lie about having a persona?

“I see.” Confidence. She had to fake her confidence… Looking weak was not an option here, and this was the one time she appreciated her sister’s tough teachings. 

“I’d like another chance. Please, I’ll make amends.” 

“Ha!” The laugh unexpectedly comes out of her. She’s shocked at first, but the priceless look on his face makes it worthwhile. “There’s nothing you can do. Please leave, Haru and I have much to discuss.” 

“But-”

“No, Akechi. I’m not interested.” She stands up, walking towards the door and opens it wide. Haru stands idly against the wall in front of the door, her widening at the sound of the door slamming against the wall. “You’re going to leave, and never return to the student council office. I’m not playing any more games.”

“You’re going to regret this,” He quietly says, inches away from her face. This up close, she could just how tormented he seemed to be inside, but she wasn't going to date anyone out of pity. 

“If you don’t get out of my face I’ll tell Akira you threatened his second-in-command. He'll kick you off the team faster than you think, and I know you want to take down my sister as much as I do. Go.” She grabs his arm and pushes him out, he slips, fumbling slightly before recapturing his balance. He straightens his clothes out, looking at both of them before walking away. The person she was on Friday? She was back, and she was tired of being pushed around. 

"You know, I was hesitant at first to take your offer, Haru. But now? I'm leaving that house, I'm taking my life back."

\--

Haru: Hello Akira! I wanted to ask you something if you have a moment.  
Akira: Hey, sure what's going on?  
Haru: You and Ryuji are close friends, yes?  
Akira: Yeah  
Haru: Did he mention anything about Makoto to you?  
Akira: He may have said something to me. How come?  
Haru: Mako-chan spoke with me about the text message. Do you know what message I'm referring to?  
Akira: Yeah, Ryuji was devastated.  
Haru: Sae made her write it. Somehow Sae was sent photos of them on their date, and she threatened to kick Makoto out if she continued to see Ryuji.  
Akira: Photos? How would she have gotten that?  
Haru: I'm not sure, but Makoto tried to speak with him about it and it didn't go so well the first time. Now she's not sure if she should give it another chance, she's worried she may have ruined her relationship with Ryuji.  
Akira: He's the same, poor guy feels so guilty about it. He doesn't know what happened, but I knew it wasn't Makoto actually sending that. He's given up too.  
Haru: So… neither of them wants to speak to the other?  
Akira: Yup. It sounds like it's time to get involved.  
Haru: I fully agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger resolved! ~~kinda~~  
>  But thanks as always for the comments, it was cool seeing what people thought was the reason for Makoto's text message :)


	20. Bad Idea

Akira and Ryuji may have spent their time bashing shadows, but Ryuji was excited to go and play video games with him the next day. Still, school just seemed to drag on and on. It didn't help that just being there reminded him of Makoto. Anything he learned in class, he found some way to connect with her. 

All he wanted was to play violent video games and forget. Was that so bad? In his case, no it wasn't, but to be a functioning member of society, he couldn't just lock himself away and play video games all day. Plus his Ma would notice, and he didn't wanna worry her. 

The last bell rings, and the two head for Akira's home at LeBlanc. He found it a little weird that he was still in that attic even after Sojiro told him about Futaba, otherwise known as the reason for him not being allowed in the household. 

Either way, it was a nice space for them to hang out, and damn did he need it. Entering into LeBlanc, Sojiro serves coffee to a blonde woman sitting at the bar. He waves at them, not breaking the conversation with the woman. He can't get a good look at her face, but at a glance, she looked familiar. It didn't matter much to him though, because he was just excited to -

"What the hell?" Ryuji shouts, surprised by the unexpected sight in his room. After coming up the stairs and Akira 'unlocking' his door, he saw her. 

Makoto. There she sat on his couch, a notebook open across her lap. 

"Akira, what is Ryuji doing here?" Makoto asks. During lunch, she'd gotten a text from Akira asking to meet him after school to talk about Sae and how they should best proceed. She had accepted, not really thinking much of it besides the potential Akechi. She wasn't too worried about him, not after their last conversation. It was something she had been looking forward to, since it helped her think in a different way. Sojiro even knew she was coming over and let her go upstairs early. But… why was Ryuji here?

"Okay," Akira turns to Ryuji first, "We're not playing video games," and then looks at Makoto, "And yes we have to talk strategy but closer to the fight, we're still a week out."

"What are you doin'?" Ryuji asked through his fake smile. Akira laughed once before slowly walking backward… and hovering over the door. 

"I'm not doing anything. Haru and I talked, but it should be you two talking. So…" Akira reaches over to a small shelf next to the door and holds up a small brass key. "To make sure you talk and stop being stubborn before it gets out of hand, I've decided to lock you in here. Text me after you both talk because there is a lot to discuss." He swiftly opens and closes the door, the sound of a rustling doorknob following. 

Makoto wasn't sure what to do. It felt like she was alone with a stranger. One who had seen her naked… 

Ryuji couldn't help but turn red. How was he supposed to apologize after thinking she was the one that was guilty this whole time? 

"I-"

"You-"

This was going to be a long conversation. Ryuji sighed and walked over to grab the chair next to Akira's bed. He places it on the other side of the room and sits. The further he was from her, the better he felt. He couldn't afford to get rejected again, in case that's what this was leading to. 

Makoto twiddled her thumbs, trying to figure out how she was going to explain it to him. It was one thing to explain it to Haru. She wanted to be mad at Haru for talking to Akira about her private business, but at the same time, she had given her a chance to explain. A chance to make things better again. 

"I can start." Makoto says. "I got home after our date, and Sae was there. She had photos of us on our date." 

Ryuji stiffened in his seat. "She didn't have any photos of us… ya know…." 

"What do you - Oh!" Makoto profusely blushes. "N-no! Nothing of the sort. The worst of the photos were us entering your apartment. Although I'm sure she made the connections…" 

"Well, at least she ain't got a photo of my ass." Ryuji tries to joke, but when Makoto's face doesn't change, he clears his throat. "Keep goin,'"

"I tried lying at first but it didn't work. She asked me about Akechi, and she was convinced I was cheating on him. I was honest about us, but she didn't want to hear it. She was… so frightening." Makoto wraps herself up in her sweater, almost as though she's trying to hide from the memory. 

"She told ya to text me, didn't she?" The pieces were starting to click in Ryuji's mind. With all the evidence in front of him, it made sense. Her odd behavior, the lack of response, the simple apologies, and her crying…

"She basically wrote it up, and she took my phone for the weekend. Thank goodness I've turned off notifications for the Phantom Thieves chat or this would've been a very different conversation. A-anyway, I wanted to tell you, but then you yelled at me, and I thought it was all over." 

He hurt her. When she needed him most. He just couldn't get anything right… he hated this part. Opening up all over again, it was getting real old real fast. Problems just keep coming up, and they gotta keep apologizing. 

"I shoulda listened to you in the courtyard. I just got so angry, I mean don't gotta repeat all that shit. But I let my anger get in the way, I always got these anger issues-"

"You don't say?" Ryuji tried to fake anger, but they both laughed at her joke. It's a welcome change, raising up the mood slightly from its somber tones earlier

"I'm sorry. I shoulda listened to ya, I shoulda been there for you. Shit, I just can't get this right. I ain't ever been with anyone like this, it's hard." 

"I...agree. This whole situation seemed to have taken a toll on both of us mentally."

"Whatcha doin' at home? Are you just avoiding her?" 

Makoto shakes her head. "Haru helped me pack some of my belongings before she got home last night. I'm staying with her for the time being. Her options were to end it with you or move out. I guess I did both," she awkwardly laughs at the end. 

"At least you ain't stuck with her anymore." 

"Yeah." 

Silence. It's heavy. They both know what's next. They just can't admit it. It's why Ryuji hasn't moved any closer, and why he won't anytime soon. 

"Ryuji, we can't do this right now, can we?"

There it was. The thoughts hurt Makoto but actually saying it was worse. Of course, she wanted him. She wanted nothing more than to rip his clothes off and repeat last Friday. But things just kept coming up, and it was things Makoto didn't think were roadblocks at first.

Morgana leaving, their argument.   
The Akechi date, more arguing.  
Now Sae's controlling nature, even more fighting

Her hesitation, his temper. They couldn't work. Not right now anyway.

"I.. we gotta try." Ryuji knew she was going to say it, because he couldn't. He got so attached to her that when she ripped herself off, or rather when Sae did, he lost his temper. What if he hurt her? What if they just ended up like his parents in the long term? Either way, it wasn't enough for him to give them up. 

"You're temperamental and I have a crazy sister who doesn't know where I am. I had to silence my phone because of the number of calls I've gotten. I told her I left, but it's not enough. And I’m too scared right now to really face her until we take her palace. It's literally not safe for us right now."

"I hate askin' this but I just gotta make sure," He was going to regret this if he didn't ask. "Do you even really like me? Like you ain't just used me for sex because you needed a release?"

"Ryuji!" It was her turn to be mad. She shot up, her hands balled into fists. Despite her fight or flight reaction, it's not like she had anywhere to go. 

\--  
"I'm worried about them. Should we intervene?" Haru asked, a blonde wig sitting next to her. She didn't really have to bring a wig, it was just a nice excuse for her to wear something she had hidden in her closet for so long. Plus, they couldn't find a way for Haru to get involved in the plan but she wanted to be there in case Makoto needed a friend. 

"No, we should leave them. They need to work it out, or else their relationship won't work in the long term." Akira takes a sip of his coffee, sitting across from her in the middle booth. 

"I suppose you're right. Any updates on Yusuke and Futaba?”

Akira laughs. “I’ve been trying to set them up for ages but they’re both too in their own heads to realize their feelings for each other. You’d think with me rejecting both of their invitations to go out, and then recommending they ask each other they’d get the hint.” 

“I see, that’s unfortunate.” Haru taps her chin, “I’ll speak to Yusuke, I believe I can push him in the right direction. Oh, and speaking of relationships, how are you and Yoshizawa?" 

"Wha-"

Haru giggles, "It's fairly obvious, even for me."

Akira sighs. "We’re not official or anything so don’t start telling people. But… it’s been interesting, it’s nice to take things slow for once.”

\--

"I'm not tryin' to make you the bad guy, I'm just worried!" Ryuji holds his hands up defensively. Yup, there was a feeling of regret. "I just gotta know because Makoto, I'm crazy about you." 

Ryuji slowly got out of his chair, keeping his hands in the air and closing the gap. 

"Look…"

"You're strong and independent and you ain't afraid to speak up. You got this weird confidence in alotta parts of your life I don't get but it's hot. You got the prettiest damn smile I've ever seen and you're so effin' smart. Like you're gonna go to college! I just like you, so much." He finally brings his hands down. He's walked about halfway, standing in the middle of the room. "But if you don't feel the same, then we should both leave and just stay friends. The sex was fun and all, but I can't just do that with you."

She just couldn't get it right. He thought after all this, she still didn't want him. Even after the confession and the truth about Sae, he just couldn't trust her. I mean, it made sense. As much as she trusted him, he had no reason to maintain a steady trust in her. 

But she wasn't in it just for sex. It meant way more to her than that. 

"I like...how you really don't care what other people think, how you do whatever you want to because it's your decision, not someone else's. You're so loyal and caring for the people in your life. I see it in the thieves and with your mom, even though I've never met her. As angry as you get, you're the kindest person I've ever met, and you don't take advantage of people. Ryuji, it was never about the sex, it was about you. All I want is you. But..." 

Well, how was she supposed to leave without being with him after this? There were still problems they had to work through, otherwise it was going to be this situation all over again. 

"We can't work," Ryuji finishes her sentence sadly, understanding the deeper meaning behind it. If they could work through their own personal problem, maybe they could work in the long term. And if her confession just now meant anything, then he knew she did truly like him. He wanted to work on their issues together and put in the work now. But she didn’t seem ready, at all. 

"For now, maybe later yes, but not right now. But please don't think for one second that my intention was to use you, because it wasn't," It was Makoto's turn to close the distance. She still kept some space between them, but it was comparable to their first kiss in Mementos. Except they weren't their other-selves as Queen and Skull. They couldn't punch their way through shadows and fix it all. This was the real world. 

"Got it." He stares straight at her lips, wanting to kiss her, take away all the pain he had caused. But he wasn't sure if now was the time or the place, or if she was even okay with something like that. 

"Did we just break up for real this time?" Makoto asked, unsure of their status now. Even before this whole mess, it was a strange relationship. They couldn’t exactly label their relationship as a friendship, because it was more than that. But with this weird ‘break-up’, it was even more complicated.

"Ha, no. But it feels like it, doesn't it?" He laughs. She can't help but laugh as well. When they stop, they both look at each other seriously. There's a lot of unsaid love and mutual respect between the two of them. 

"I'm going to miss you."

"When do we try again?"

"If we both start going towards major changes within ourselves, than mayba after my sister’s palace. Let's see how the aftermath goes. We both know the plan is, but I can't help but get worried about it." 

Ryuji reaches out to touch her shoulders, briefly hovering before awkwardly pulling back. "It's gonna work. And you'll feel better, I know whatever's happenin' with those nightmares suck right now but I promise they'll go away."

Makoto smiles. "I don't think they will, but thank you for staying optimistic...Do you want your sweaters back in the meantime?"

“Keep em’.”

\--

"Looks like they're done talking." Akira reads the message on his phone. Haru excitedly claps her hands together and gasps. 

"Wonderful! Are you going to let them out now?" Haru asks. Akira grins, holding up the key. 

"I never locked it, I just told them I did, speaking of which," Akira stops talking to text on his phone before continuing. "I just told Ryuji it's open. I would never lock my friends like that. Knowing that, don't tell them. I don't think they would've talked unless we made them think that."

Haru winks, "Your secret is safe with me!" 

The two come down the stairs. Ryuji waves goodbye before walking straight out of LeBlanc. No conversation, no other gestures. Just...a goodbye wave? 

"What just happened?" Akira asked, looking over at Makoto. She was standing next to Haru, tightly gripping her bag strap. 

"We talked things out. We both agreed to end things for now. Thank you two for trying to help, I appreciate it," Makoto says, and also leaves through the door. Akira and Haru looked at each other with shocked faces. 

"Well, that didn't go as planned." Akira says, shuffling out of the booth, “Makoto wait!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday :)  
> We're 2/3 of the way done! After this chapter, you might notice the story go a little faster in terms of timing (although its more noticeable around the chapter 25 mark, especially with the longer chapters). 
> 
> Also, ~~shameless plug again~~ , but I have a one shot coming out later this week (aka the part 3 I've been hinting at in the comments) if you're interested in what else is going on with the Phantom Thieves 👀


	21. Do It Or Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Everything is fine  
> Narrator: Everything was not fine

The night before entering the palace, Makoto had to take sleeping pills to fall asleep. 

Even with the pills, her mind was racing. It felt like her life had changed so quickly. Within a week, she had gone on a date with Ryuji, was forced to end things, moved in with Haru, seemingly fixed things with him, only to cut things off again. Sure, it wasn’t a complete fix, but at least they were on speaking terms. Even if things were a little weird right now. It felt her thinking about her new life in Haru’s home and adjustments that came with it. 

Haru woke up early to cook her breakfast, something that surprised Makoto. She figured she likely had someone cooking for her at all times, but she generally avoided calling for assistance unless she knew she had no time. As a result, Makoto would wake up to the smell of a new meal every morning, something she hadn’t had the luxury of in years.

“You sure you’re okay cooking every morning? I feel like I’m bothering you.” Makoto asked one day, grabbing a full plate recently done by Haru. 

“Of course! It’s a great use of my garden, I’ve been working on perfecting my vegetables and herbs, so having another deciding factor is motivating me to do better! I only look for your honest opinion.” Haru excitedly answered. 

And that was her new life. Likely the biggest perk was always having a car ride to school instead of worrying about the train. It wouldn’t be for much longer considering they were deep into their third-year, but it was still an appreciated change of pace. Outside of a few hiccups at school related to being class president, Makoto was surprised how quiet everything was, almost too quiet…

She tried to enjoy the calm before the storm, even if her nightmares didn’t go anywhere. Thankfully, she had her own room and had learned to stop herself from screaming out loud after a nightmare, but it still frightened her. As the days moved closer and closer to the inevitable calling card day, her nightmares became more intense. 

Until finally, the night before the palace fight, after the calling card was sent out, Makoto woke up screaming in the middle of the night. The sleeping pills had done nothing but draw her into a bad dream.

She shot up straight out of bed, barely remembering where she was until her eyes adjusted to the darkness. For a second, she’d forgotten she was in one of the guest rooms in Haru’s home. It was a simple room, nothing more than the basics: bed, closet, desk and chair. Not like it mattered right now, with Haru knocking on the door before letting herself in. She held an axe, seemingly ready to fight. If Haru hadn’t mentioned that she used to chop wood on her balcony from time to time, she would’ve found it very suspicious. 

“Mako-chan what happened?” Haru said. When she noticed it was just Makoto sitting up in bed, she lowered the bat back down to her side. Makoto tries to hide her face with her hands but feels tears already coming down. She couldn’t even remember what the dream was anymore, just that it followed the same theme as all the others. 

“It’s… nothing, just a bad dream,” Makoto fake smiled, hoping she could still tricker her friend into thinking she was okay. After spending the past several months together, it seemed like it was no longer working. Instead, Haru leaned against the door frame, a pensive look on her face. 

“Are you sure? I can see the dark circles under your eyes some days. I was worried but took it as maybe you were stressed at school. But if those circles are caused by waking up in the middle of the night and a lack of sleep, I assume these bad dreams are common. What’s going on?” 

_Ugh, not now…_

“Can we talk about this another time? It’s late, and we have a big day tomorrow.” Makoto was practically begging her friend to leave. With a sad look in her eyes, Haru quietly leaves the room. Makoto slams her head back on the pillow, wanting to fall back asleep. After an hour of tossing and turning, her body finally gives in. It seemed like the problems never stopped. If anything, it seemed like more and more people were getting sucked into them. Haru was one of the last people she expected to need to explain the nightmares. But now? Well, Makoto knew Haru wasn’t going to push anymore than she already had, but it would be better to tell her than have her come to her own conclusions. 

What feels like seconds turns into hours, and her alarm brings Makoto out of her sleep, unfortunately. 

It was Saturday, the day she had been waiting months for was finally here. And yet, she felt empty and nervous. It was the most anxious she had been about entering the palace since the return in late October. She threw on the comfiest clothing she had brought with her, hoping the comfort would pull her out of it. It did absolutely nothing to calm her nerves, and the roaring sounds of the train weren’t making things better. 

“Everything will work itself out, don’t worry!” Haru tried to reassure Makoto on their way there, but it didn't do anything to ease her nerves. If anything, it caused her mind to loop over and over again. The biggest question on her mind: what if Sae tells her team that she came in earlier? Makoto was sure she was blowing it out of proportion, but she never came forward about actually going in, even when prompted by Akira. 

The train slows to a stop and the two walk toward their destination. Every step made her heart pound louder and louder. The noise in her brain overwhelmed her senses. She felt herself getting nauseous again, but she ate light today and hoped to avoid a repeat of her vomiting. 

"Let's go," Akira's voice snaps her out of it, leading her back into the palace. If she felt defenseless as herself, she was surprised how out of it she was as Queen. It had been a few weeks since they last saw her palace. Her recent visits felt better, but she also wasn’t seeing her sister around. Now, she was directly in her warpath. 

“Good luck in there,” Crows whispers to her before walking ahead. His voice felt like nails on a chalkboard after their last encounter. He was likely giddy with excitement over his own plans to take down the Phantom Thieves, but little did he know about their own plans… 

The trek up feels shorter than it should be. It was the same route as always, but her thoughts drive her to think otherwise. She’d never felt so unsure in her life, and she couldn’t explain it. Maybe it really was messing with her brain, but how was she even supposed to fix it? Therapy? Medicine? 

_God now is not the time to think this through._

“Queen?” 

“Huh?” She was in a safe room, the closest to the treasure. The team was around the table, talking minor strategy updates before leaving. Everyone seemed to look at her worried, except for Crow, whose face was harder than usual.

“You’re a total space cadet today!” Oracle exclaimed. 

“Are you sure you’re okay to fight Sae? We can take care of her, you know.” Crow shifted forward, not breaking his sights on Queen. “She is your sister, after all. I’m sure you feel remorse-”

“Oh shut it, we have a palace ruler to take down. Sister or not, I’m going to be there.” Queen barked back. She looked at Joker, who nodded. 

“We should get moving, meeting over.” Joker waves off and everyone shuffles out of their seats. Queen moves ahead to meet Joker. A determined look on his face, his steps seemed heavier than normal. She couldn’t imagine the pressure on him. If he couldn’t convince his sister of their cause, then everything would fall apart. There was a lot riding on a single conversation they weren’t sure was guaranteed to happen. 

“I’m sorry for zoning out during the meeting.” 

“It’s understandable, Haru was the same way right before we took down her father. Are you prepared for anything? We don’t know what her true form is yet.” Akira doesn’t take his eyes off the path ahead. She wondered what was going through his own brain, considering everything he’d been through. Did he have his own nightmares, or did he just go through life as easily as it looked? 

“I think so… There’s only one way to find out.”

“Queen, before we go in there, I want you to be honest with me and you can keep it brief.” He lowers his voice as he picks up his pace, encouraging her to do the same with small gestures. “You’ve entered this palace before the team did, didn’t you?” 

Queen knew it was coming sooner or later. Her only saving grace was his inability to see part of her face beneath the iron mask. But with her wides and fists clenched, she couldn’t run anywhere. She had to face it, whether she wanted to or not. All she gives him is a nod, not wanting to fully explain herself. I mean, how could she? There was so much to say, and yet all she could do was nod. If any of the others heard, it’d lead to questions she wasn’t ready to answer. She already had Noir watching her closely, and now Joker? It just… never seemed to stop. 

“I can explain later.” She eventually says, seeing the elevator doors coming up close. 

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know you; you wouldn’t pass on the opportunity to see something like this first hand as soon as you knew. What worries is how it impacted your life. You’ve been different.”

They file into the elevator, the group's silence indicating their concerns over the boss. No one had to say they were worried; they all knew. When the door opens wide, they're welcomed into a giant roulette wheel. With colors all along the side, it was vivid as the exterior of the palace. It all pointed to a giant monitor on the screen, where _she appeared._

“Sis.” Queen quietly says, wanting to approach her. She steps to the side, making room for the rest of the team to file in. This was it, no turning back. Queen couldn't deny that seeing her sister again like this was… uncomfortable. She felt paralyzed, stuck in her spot. 

"Hey," She feels a hand on her shoulder, seeing Skull with a worried look on his face. "You aight?" 

She was tired of being asked if she was okay. But if people kept asking that, then she would have to act like she was. Put the brave face back on, back to the confidence she felt on and off the last few weeks. And yet when she needed it most it just… wasn't happening. 

"Yes," Queen says simply, forcing her legs to move on. Moving herself felt like she was dragging cement bricks across the floor. She hated feeling chained to herself, but without even speaking yet, Sae had the worst effect on her. 

"At long last, I have you all within my clutches." Sae says on the screen, her smiling face piercing through. "No more wasting time. Now, why don't we begin?" 

With a simple snap, the screen shutters off. The colorful tiles flip back, revealing black and white numbers beneath. It's a mystical sight to see the true wheel reveal itself. It was truly a giant gambling wheel, and they were stuck within her game. Queen wasn't sure where to look, seeing all the colors flip away. 

"A clash of brute strength is simply uncalled for on this stage." Sae appears in person at the head of the wheel, strutting closer to the group. Skull was sick of it, sick of her and everything she had done. Everything he'd seen happen to Queen stemmed from her. After hearing her true thoughts over and over within the palace, he was livid. 

"No more coins or playin' games! We ain't following your damn rules!" Skull yells, readying his mace. 

"Oh you will, there's no more room for negotiation. You will know soon enough -" Sae spends a moment pondering before. She points a finger at Skull. "I thought I told you and my useless sister to bring in a real team. Couldn't even do that?"

 _Shit… This is bad._ Skull pulls back, looking at the shocked faces of his teammates. He wasn't sure what to do and looking at Queen, who was just as frightened, he felt unsure of himself. Was she trembling? He couldn't tell. What was he supposed to do? Keep losing his temper and taking it out on shadows? Right now, it's all he could do. 

"S-shut up! We got here, didn't we? What more do ya want?" Skull barks, his attention turned back Sae, the real problem right now. 

Sae smirks. "I want to play a game." 

Her game is unfair the entire time they attempt to play. It looked as though there was a certain rigged aspect to it, but he wasn't sure what it was until he sent Fox to shoot the glass lid. At Joker's command, he shoots the lid. The glass shatters everywhere, but they finally win a round. It's enough for Sae to fall into her knees, and the team runs over for a hold-up. 

"You were totally cheating!" Oracle yells. "You coward, say something!" Queen sees a purple aura growing more and more around her sister. Looking ahead, the gun shakes slightly in her hands, worried about the true nature seeping out of her. 

"SHUT UP!" Sae yells, and it overtakes her. She's stuck in a black and purple cloud, making the team move back for safety. When the mist clears, they see Sae's true form. It was almost too bizarre for Queen to truly take in, but the image would forever be burned into her mind. Seeing her sister as this monster was too much for her. 

"Cheating? Unfair? This is my world! I should've crushed your stupid little teammates when I had the chance if I knew none of you would've played fair. But if it's a 'fair fight' you want then it's a fight you'll get."

"No…" Queen steps back. She could feel herself developing scratches on her palms from how intense her fists were. Nothing felt right, everything felt like it was going to come crashing down, and she'd be on the front line of it. 

"I'll crush you ‘fair and square’!" Queen feels unusual for a moment but brushes it off as nerves. And yet...something didn't feel right. It wasn't really in her mind, as it was almost a physical sensation like something was very wrong. 

Queen very quickly figured out what it was. Somehow, Sae kept targeting her. Nearly every hit was targeting Queen instead of the rest of the team. She knew Sae hated her, but to continuously attack her… was it a change in cognition? She couldn't determine what was causing the shift. 

For a moment, it felt like everything was back to normal because the attacks became more balanced. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar orb in Crow's hand: a limelight. She gasped, her attention turned over to him. 

"Are you out of your mind?" Queen yells at his general direction, but he only smiles and throws it back towards her. The sensation from before returns was something as simple as a limelight. Joker rarely used them, and when he did, he always asked for permission prior. And yet, the uneasiness she felt was unusual because he never used it on her. Queen wasn't meant to take hits; she was meant to attack the enemy and heal those who did. 

"Stay focused, maybe you'll learn something new." Crow jumps back, adjusting himself to get a better angle to attack Sae.

"What the fuck did you just do?" She hears someone yell in the distance. Queen briefly turns her attention to the voice, but before she can see its source, her vision goes dark. 

\--

"What the fuck did you just do?" Any curse word coming from Joker meant serious business. Skull sees Joker yell at Crow before hearing a loud noise, and seeing Queen fly a short distance. She hits the ground, her body lifeless. He saw it all, but only noticed what was happening at the same time as Queen. He knew Crow was terrible, but to sabotage someone in battle was low, even for him. 

"Queen!" Skull runs over to her, thinking of all the shitty things he wanted to do Crow and Sae. He should've paid more attention to Crow, knowing everything he did. All he could do was hold her lifeless body and hope a reviving item would be enough to get her back. 

"You should've left her here the first time around." Sae slams down in front of them. Skulls jumps in front of Queen's body, acting as a shield. "She's never going to be a winner, let her rot here." Behind her, he could see his teammates preparing an attack. Oracle was providing the others with an attack boost, Fox was charging up, and Noir and Mona seemed to be preparing a team attack. With her distracted, they could take her down. All he had to do was be himself. 

"She's already a winner with us, and she don't need ya to see it." Sae raised her arms for a physical attack, and Skull braced himself for it. Instead, there's a gunshot that hits her hand. Once Sae turns around, she was immediately downed by Fox, who used an intense physical attack on her. Mona and Noir followed with their team attack, and one of Noir's bullets is the final nail in the coffin. Skull hadn't realized he was holding his breath during their entire attack until he let out a deep sigh.

"Panther the life ointment! Fox, Noir get the treasure!" Joker yells. The team splits up, with Fox and Noir heading towards the screen. Panther goes through the bag and comes running up to Skull. She opens the ointment and uses it on her. A few seconds later, Queen sits up and gasps for air. It doesn't take long for her to be back on her feet. She looks around, seeing everyone stand still around her, almost waiting for some type of reaction. 

"I'm dealing with you later," Queen points at Crow, but spots her sister on her knees behind them. She runs over to her sister to speak to her. As Crow is about to move towards them, a new glare on his face, Skull steps in front of him. 

"I'm dealin' with ya now. The hell were you thinkin'?" Skull crosses his arms, his stance strong. He was _done_. The stupid game they had to play the last few weeks was over, and Skull couldn't wait to get rid of this joke. 

"She needed to be taught a lesson, and clearly Sae was the best one to do it." Crow says, his voice unwavering. Joker comes up to them, and stands between the two to stop them before a fight can begin. 

"I think it's time for you to leave, Crow. We're done, Sae is defeated." Skull loved it when Joker had a backbone. Sure he wanted to see good in the people he could, but finally, FINALLY, he was getting rid of him. It didn't even matter if it wasn't a ‘fuck you’ kind of leaving. 

"Fine." Is all Crow says before walking away. There's no fight, no argument, nothing. It was odd, but what was Skull supposed to do about it? All he wanted to do was celebrate. But at the same time… 

"Please… you have to think back to the feelings you had when you first wanted to become a prosecutor. Think about your true justice, Sis." Skull overhears Queen say to Sae. Despite all the names she called her, all the trouble she put her through here and in reality, she was still looking to help her sister out. As much as it troubled her, she just wanted her old sister back. 

"We found the treasure!" Fox yells, bringing back a briefcase. He looks at the group briefly, and Noir counts the people.

"We're missing Crow?" She comments. 

"He's done. We should all be heading out as well-" Joker starts, before being interrupted by Oracle yelling -

"Holy shit that's alotta shadows!" Oracle pulls up her data, the numbers flooding in. It's clear enough for all of them to see the trouble they were in. They knew Crow had a plan up his sleeve, but to trigger this many shadows was a serious issue. 

"The plan isn't changing. Everyone go off without me, stick to your teams," Joker says, holding his arm out for the fake treasure in Fox's arms. 

"Joker this is serious. We don't know how dangerous this new scenario is. We can still leave together." Fox tries to reason, but Joker shakes his head. 

"Trust me, it's going to work out but I need to act as the decoy," His hand remains out, and Fox finally complies. "Watch each other's backs. We'll see each other sooner than we think." 

Joker runs off, and as soon as he's out of sight, the team splits up and moves down separate routes. These routes were established mere days ago, in the little time they had between securing a main route and taking down Sae. With time no longer on their side, Queen didn't have time to fully take in everything that had happened. It's only after their dangerous escape does it start to set in. They aren't given an opportunity to watch from the shadows as they had hoped. Instead, they all leave the palace. However, instead of deleting as it normally does, it stays in place. 

All according to the plan. 

Makoto looks down at her phone before putting it back into her pocket. She looks down at her shoes, trying to figure out the words to say right now. She was petrified, but at the same time relieved? She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, but at the same time, it wasn't everything. There was still something weighing down on her, and part of that was the potential of her new position. 

\--

_"Makoto wait up! What happened in there?"_

_"We just… we decided now wasn't the best time. We keep getting into arguments, and problems keep coming up. It's just not a good time right now for us to pursue this relationship."_

_"I'm sorry to hear that. Haru and I were hoping for a better outcome."_

_"As horrible as I feel, it's for the best. I've been under a lot of pressure, and he understands that."_

_"Do you feel overwhelmed with the Phantom Thieves?"_

_"If anything, it's become a welcome distraction to talk to you about it. As much as I dislike Akechi, the strategy meetings are great for me."_

_"I see… Makoto, we both know the plan when we enter Sae's palace. If something happens to me, I want you to become the leader, keep the peace._

_"You're speaking like you might not make it out alive."_

_"Consider it a precaution. In case I don't make it back, someone needs to keep taking down distorted hearts. You can't stop because I'm gone."_

_"Akira…"_

_"Do you accept?"_

_"Of course I do. But why me?"_

_"You're the only one I can trust to do it. I know you'll be a great leader."_

\--

Right, she had to try to lead in case he was gone for good. When it was announced over text last night, it was all positive. Outside of a small thank you text, Makoto decided to not partake in that discussion. But with him gone for now, they had to move on. Hopefully, it wasn't a permanent change. She wasn't sure how cut out for leadership she was. 

"Alright team, we should all go home," Makoto says, getting everyone's attention. "We made it out, we completed our assignments. All we can do now is hope Akira can successfully complete his. Let's meet at LeBlanc in a few days, I'll text everyone-" 

“I’m not sure how willing we should be to listen to someone who seems to have lied to us,” Yusuke said, approaching Makoto. She felt her face turn pale, her eyes widening from being put on the spot. She wasn’t ready to explain, not here, not now, and definitely not without Akira here. All eyes on her, she was in the spotlight, and they were waiting for answers. 

“I…” She starts, before closing her mouth. Yusuke was right; she did lie to everyone. There was nothing she could say to reduce the impact. 

“We’ll explain everythin’ when Akira gets back,” Ryuji interjects. “We got enough goin’ on.” Ryuji moved to place his hand on Yusuke’s shoulder. He moves away from Makoto, a remorseful look on his face. 

“Yes, I suppose you’re right. I apologize for the sudden outburst, Makoto.” Yusuke says honestly. Makoto was still trying to find the words she had confidently planned, but there was nothing coming out. She could only squeak out -

“It’s fine, see everyone soon.”

The team agrees before almost everyone goes their separate ways. As she sees some of the team preparing to go, she sends a quick text. 

Makoto: Stay behind. 

Makoto lingers for a moment and sees Ryuji do the same. They stay a short distance away from each other, and once everyone is out of view, she goes up to hug him. 

"Oh my god," is all Makoto can get out. The waterworks come out for what feels like the millionth time. She was tired of crying, but this felt like it was going to be the last time in a while. While there were still burdens hanging over her, Sae as an evil palace ruler was no longer one of them. 

"It's okay I'm here." Ryuji holds her tighter, trying to give her the comfort she needed. He was surprised to get the text, especially after their earlier conversation. But after getting sabotaged by Akechi and getting knocked out by her deranged sister, he figured something might've changed. After a few minutes, she wipes away the last of her tears and pulls away. 

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be-"

"I know we're not really supposed to-"

"It's cool-" 

"I needed someone here." 

Ryuji bites his lip. God, she was beautiful. Even as at her worst, the feelings he had for her were strong. He was just head over heels and yet, he couldn't do a damn thing. It helped her, but it hurt him. 

"Makoto, you know I like ya. But if this," he points back and forth, implying her hugging him, "keeps happening, it's gonna kill me. You know I wanna be with ya, but it hurts that I can't do more to help you."

Makoto had expected as much. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to hug him, but she couldn't help herself. But he was right; they had agreed to try and not act this way, and she needed to respect his feelings. 

"I appreciate it anyway, but I understand. I won't do it again." Makoto says sadly. 

"I'm uh, I'm tryin' to work on my issues. I wanted to beat Akechi's ass in there but I didn't. Akira got me this too," Ryuji pulls a book out of his bag, with a generic title addressing anger management. "Apparently it's gonna teach me to not be so angry? I dunno it's kinda dumb, but I'm tryin', I swear."

Makoto smiles, looking at him with admiration. He was giving it his all, and she had to recognize it. If he was trying to do hard, what exactly was she doing? She kept thinking Sae's palace disappearing was going to be enough, but with the weight still there… it was deeper rooted. 

"You're cute when you try." Makoto laughs before pedaling back on her statement. "Er-sorry. Um, I suppose I'll see you in a few days?" 

Makoto sticks out her hand for a handshake. Ryuji knew well she wanted more if she was going for something so distant. He instead pulls her back in for a tight hug, trying to memorize the feeling of her in his arms. When they come apart, their faces are close to each other. He could feel her heart against his chest. It was beating fast, matching his intense emotions. He never wanted this to end. 

"Ryuji you just said-"

"I know. I needed it too." He looks away, ashamed of himself. He wriggles out and straightens himself out. Clearing his throat, he says, "I dunno if ya told Haru yet, but talk to her about your nightmares. She texted me this morning 'bout it, and we never talk like that. She's worried... I'll see ya." Ryuji runs off, leaving Makoto standing alone. 

It was inevitable. She had to talk to Haru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooo boy the comments are not going to be too kind to Akechi I can already tell.   
> ~~I swear he's one of my favorite characters~~


	22. It’s Nice To Have A Friend

Makoto paced back and forth in her room. The night they went into the palace, Sae had sent a single text to Makoto asking to talk whenever she was ready and provided an early apology. Makoto wasn't quite ready to talk to her real sister yet, not without Akira's return. As soon as he was back, she would speak to her sister. But that wasn't what caused her to walk around her room the morning after. 

She was figuring out the right words to explain to Haru everything that had happened over the past few months. While the other thieves seem to understand the need to discuss the topic later on, Haru knew Makoto was hurting. She didn't ask for an explanation in words, but with a look of pity. Makoto knew Haru had no idea of the turmoil, but it was enough for her to sense how sorry she was. 

Makoto also needed someone that wasn't Ryuji to talk about… well, Ryuji. With the words on the tip of her tongue, she goes for the door and walks towards the kitchen. She hears Haru humming to herself, a song Makoto has heard on the radio a few times. She hears a soft hissing, likely coming from a teapot.

_I can still turn around, she hasn't seen me yet…_

No, she couldn't turn around. She had to stop hesitating. It wasn't going to help her to just stay holed away unsure of herself. 

"Haru?" Makoto asks, seeing Haru pour tea into two small cups. She looks from the cups and smiles.

"I was just about to call you for tea." Haru picks the cups up and takes them to the coffee table in the living room. Makoto follows, sitting on the same couch she sat when she first came here. She picked up the tea, taking a small sip of the comfortable drink. She was ready. 

"Haru, I'm ready to talk about my nightmares." Makoto said. 

"Are they related to your visit to Sae's palace? It seems as though based on what she said, you and Ryuji had gone in prior." Haru didn’t the most observant person, but with all the clues there, it was impossible to not make the connection. 

"Ryuji and I went in, around the same time we were going through your father's palace and..." Makoto felt the words get stuck in her throat. She took a deep breath, releasing them, "And something happened. Part of the problem is I don't remember some of the trip. It feels as though my brain is blocking it on purpose."

"Your brain is blocking the memory? How would that work?" Haru looked confused. Makoto real back in her thoughts, rewriting the script she'd made for herself. 

"When I try to remember what happened in the palace that first time, I can't remember everything. I remember seeing the palace for the first time, going in with Ryuji and then…" The nightmares, she remembered them too well. Those were the things she held onto. The words Sae yelled at her, Ryuji's good or bad action, the Shadow's attacks, but every single time- 

"I got knocked out cold. Every time in my nightmares, I always get attacked by something or someone. It changes all the time. I just…" 

"Makoto, you're crying." Haru pulls the tissue box from the center of the table over and passes it to her. Makoto takes a tissue and wipes away the tears she didn't realize were coming down. 

"I'm sorry. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense. I can't what happened inside, I think my nightmares give me an inkling of the truth. Either way, what I remember afterward is Ryuji. He got me home safely. He paid for a taxi and got me into my home. If I didn't remember before and after, my nightmares would've convinced me I was doing it alone." 

"It sounds like he saved you," Haru notes. "I'm glad he was there to help you. As curious as I am about that, I'm more worried about what happened after. These nightmares, you said they're common? Was it only that?"

Makoto clenched the tissue in her hand. It wasn't just nightmares anymore. Actually, she's not sure if it was only nightmares right after the visit. 

"No, every time I went into that palace I felt like I was dying all over again. When it came to my sister, I couldn't look at her for days afterward. Even before she nearly kicked me out, I felt like I was walking on a tightrope. Besides that, I feel like I've lost all interest in everything I do. It's so hard to speak about it. Even this conversation took me hours to think through because I couldn't do it."

Just talking about it was already helping her. There were thoughts she couldn’t quite pull out of her mind until she started talking to Haru. She always had a calming nature about her, which Makoto figured was why they clicked well. While Makoto seemed to always have something going on, Haru took life one step at a time. 

“Hmm, please excuse me a moment,” Haru strolls over to a bookcase along the way. She hovers over a few books before pulling out a large textbook. Makoto watches her flip through the pages before she seems to have found something within. She brings the book back over and hands it to Makoto. It was a psychology textbook and the page Haru had opened to was-

“Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,” Makoto read the title of the section allowed. She remembered looking into it before, but to have Haru assume the same thing was unexpected. The book listed similar concepts she saw online but laid out in a way she better understood. While she didn’t check off every single box, it was well over half the symptoms.

“I’ve been reading psychology books in my free time, so I can better understand what it is we’re doing with cognition. I haven’t quite read this particular chapter in detail yet, but everything you were discussing sounded familiar.” Makoto continues to flip through the pages, skipping to treatment. There were different methods, but all methods involved some form of therapy. Makoto had never seen a therapist before, but she wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea. 

“I was thinking the same thing a few weeks ago,” Makoto takes one last look before she places the book next to her empty teacup, “I can see the benefit of going to see a therapist, I suppose I could look into therapists online that specialize in it.” 

“And you’ll have us to get you through it. I know you’re likely worried because you kept this from us, but when you explain it-” 

“Whoa whoa,” Makoto sits up, her hands up defensively. No one said she had to explain it to her friends. She could barely even get it out to Haru, how was she supposed to talk it through with everyone else? There was no way she could send the same message across to everyone this simply. Even if she could get it out, she had already started crying in front of Haru, and she didn’t want to cry again in front of everyone. 

“Are you worried about how they’ll react? Mako-chan, we’re your friends.” 

“No, I feel as though they’ll ask questions I’m not prepared to answer. I could barely explain everything to you. Maybe…” Makoto looks over at the textbook again, “Maybe if I go to therapy, I can explain it fully in time. But for now, I may ask Ryuji to explain the trip itself when we’re reunited with Akira.” 

Makoto had made a decision, one she actually felt confident with. There was no hesitation in her going to therapy and talking with her friends regarding her struggles over time, but for now, she needed to work on herself. It had been a rough few months, and she was exhausted from living in this situation. If she didn't make any kind of change now, it would likely result in deeper problems she wasn't willing to explore. 

"It sounds like a wonderful idea to me. I'm sorry for pushing you to speak about your issues, I hope you can forgive me." 

"You didn't do anything other than help me, so honestly, thank you." 

"Now," Haru sat back down across from her friend, "If you're willing to discuss you and Ryuji…"

Makoto laughs, "I had a feeling that was coming up." Her face became a little more serious when she considered explaining her relationship with Ryuji. She had come to rely on him, but she wasn't quite ready to commit yet. But as more time went on, the more she wanted to throw caution to the wind. Haru seemed to notice the change in Makoto's stature.

"If it's too much for you right now I fully understand." 

"It's okay, this is easier to talk about. But we agreed to wait until we could sort out our own issues. I've become too hesitant, he has a temper, and I can't see it working until we can resolve those problems individually." 

"Well, what's stopping you two from solving those problems together?" 

"My concerns were realized after Sae had me send the text message. Ryuji flew off the handle and I couldn't properly help out of fear." Makoto hated thinking about that moment in the courtyard, but it was the driving moment. She figured if they couldn't have a real conversation then, what was stopping them from having larger problems in the future?

"I suppose so, but you two talked afterwards no? In order to reach this conclusion, you had to have a mature conversation. Considering Akira and I didn't have to interfere, you two can definitely sort out your own problems."

Haru… Made a valid point. Makoto hadn't really seen the conversation in Akira's room that way. But she was right. They had a mostly civil conversation with no real issues from either of them. They had agreed on terms, and had held themselves to it. Although it seemed like Ryuji was moving ahead, the only roadblock for her was herself. If their relationship ever started again, it'd have to be her initiating it. 

"I hadn't thought of it that way, but you're right. I don't know if it'll work out that well every time though." 

Haru shrugged. "Unfortunately I can't offer much advice past there. But I see the way you and Ryuji look at each other." Haru stands up, grabbing the tea cups from the table. "I don't think you should let this opportunity pass you." 

As Haru walked into the kitchen, Makoto was left thinking about the last phrase. Haru had just said she didn't have any advice, and yet, she offered her a key point: time wasn't waiting for anyone. She'd seen it in the few months wasted over worrying about Sae's palace. Her concerns about her sister's were legitimate, but she spent so much time worrying. She didn't want that to be her and Ryuji, where she suddenly loses him because she didn't act fast enough. They both still liked each other, and she couldn't wait any longer. 

Well, Makoto could wait a day or two. Akira was still missing, and there was no way of knowing if the plan would work or not. Until he was free, she had to lay low. But laying low didn't mean she couldn't text Ryuji… Makoto stood up, walking over to the kitchen herself. 

"Haru?" Makoto said. Her friend turned off the sink and placed the cups on a dish rack. When Haru looked over at Makoto, she says, "Thank you." 

"Of course, you know you can rely on me, as I relied on you when I was in distress," Haru responds. Haru wasn't in the best state of mind back then, but it was uplifting to see she could get through it. 

Makoto walks back over to her room, picking up her phone from the desk. She had a handful of notifications, but nothing pressing. Swiping through her phone, she sees Ryuji's chat. They hadn't really texted since right before the last palace visit. 

Makoto: Hey, as soon as we know Akira is okay, I think we should have a chat.

She waited for a few minutes before he responded. 

Ryuji: You ok? What's up?  
Makoto: I talked with Haru today. I'd prefer not to discuss the matters now, but I'd really like to speak to you soon. In a few days.  
Ryuji: Dang that's awesome, must be good for you to wanna talk. I gotcha, as soon as Akira is out.  
Makoto: Thank you. Another thing... I'd like you to explain our visit to Sae's palace to the team when the time comes. Leave out a few details you deem unnecessary. I couldn't explain it well to Haru, but you seem to remember the event better than I do.  
Ryuji: Anything specific ya want me to avoid?  
Makoto: If I remembered, I would tell you.  
Ryuji: Yeahhh that makes more sense. K, I'll do it, don't worry.  
Makoto: Thank you.  
Ryuji: Anytime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like writing Haru and Makoto in scenes together. I just feel like it radiates wholesomeness every time and we could all use a little more that right now.
> 
> Bit of a filler, bit shorter than the chapters to come, but a break is nice sometimes (especially with all the angst I've been throwing into the abyss)


	23. What's Done Is Done

Makoto woke up the next morning to over a hundred messages in the Phantom Thieves group chat. At the very top of the long chain was a message from Ryuji:

Ryuji: IT WORKED!!

At 1:05am last night, Ryuji was able to happily text his friends the good news. While his death had been announced the night before, he was waiting to see if he'd text them. He knew there was no way to guarantee Akira would text anyone afterwards. And if he really was dead… no, he wouldn't think like that. Around midnight, Ryuji sat on his bed, biting his nails to hear something back. So when his phone vibrated at 1:03am, with a brief message from Akira, he had to share the news. 

Ryuji didn't stay up much later after that, only really sharing the few details Akira had provided. He was staying with Sae for the night until they could safely get him to LeBlanc. It also gave the team time to change their schedules for a Phantom Thieves meeting tomorrow evening.

Not like Ryuji had much planned anyway. But the next day, all throughout his commute and time at school, all he wanted to do was go to LeBlanc and see Akira. Ryuji hated the idea of his friend being in that prison, and as much as he wanted to get angry at them, he'd actually been taking some of the advice from the book. It helped sometimes, but it wasn't perfect. Then again, how much can a hundred pages really fix a bad temper?

At the sound of the last bell, he threw all his stuff into his backpack and started to run for the door. While his grades were good now, his organization skills needed help. As he opened the door and started to run out, he felt himself crash against a body. Papers flew everywhere, and he quickly got on his knees to pick them all up. Ryuji glanced at the name on top, and looked up at a mildly-annoyed Makoto. 

"Oh, nice seeing ya!" Ryuji smiled. 

"I would be saying the same to you if you hadn't made a mess of my paperwork in the hallway." Makoto responded. She took the last of the papers from him, their hands brushing up against each other. 

"S-so you headed to LeBlanc now? He's back," Ryuji felt awkward after dropping all her stuff. From the looks of it, it was mainly just homework. Although he had to admit he was surprised the grades weren't as high as he expected. Not like he'd bring it up with her now, there was a time and a place and it wasn't now. 

"I need to drop off something at the student council office before I go… would you like to tag along?"

"Yeah sure," The two walked over to the student council office. It had been a few weeks since he'd been in the office since they stopped their study sessions. He had done his best to keep up studying like she taught him, but he was struggling with some material lately. 

"How are your classes lately? Any issues?" Makoto opens a filing cabinet near the door, placing different papers in various files. 

"Uh, now that ya mention it, I'm kinda in a slump." He scratches the back of his neck, a tick he knew Makoto caught on to. She finishes putting a few away, and places the last of her paperwork in her backpack. 

"I see. Do you need a tutor again?" Makoto grins at Ryuji. When they had this conversation all those months ago, he had no idea that he would feel this way about her. It'd been a crazy time, and he wasn't sure what he was feeling at the time, but he understood it now. 

"Yeah, English is really kickin' my ass." They're both comfortable in the office. Despite their commitment at LeBlanc, neither of them was making the motion to move and leave the office. After all, it was the two of them in a room alone, with no foreseeable interruptions. 

"I see, I'm no expert but I'm sure I know enough English to help you," Makoto says, moving a stray hair behind her ear. 

"Yeah that'd be awesome." Now would be a good time to ask about her text earlier. "Anyway, whatcha wanna chat about?"

He says Makoto nervously stiffen, her confidence no longer as visible. Shit, that wasn't his intention at all.

"I don’t know if this is the best time or place for this conversation." Her voice is quiet, but she appeared present. He hears breaths deepen, "And we should get going, I don’t want to make the others wait for us. Remember Haru is taking us there?"

Makoto could have brought it up if she really wanted to, but she didn’t want their reunion to take place in the student council office of all places. It would feel odd, and she wanted to talk to her sister beforehand. While she didn’t really care what her sister thought of their relationship, she at least hoped the change of heart would help their tense relationship.

“Y-yeah, you’re right.” Ryuji awkwardly scuffles back towards the door and starts to crack it open. There was so much he still wanted to say, but he didn’t want to push her. Instead, he pulled the door, allowing the noise of the hallway to enter in. Makoto grabbed the last of her belongings and the two went on their way outside.

Ryuji holds the door open, and they walk next to each other back down. Makoto sees a handful of first-year whispers. Months ago, it would have immensely bothered her. It still annoyed her to see people gossip, but instead, she holds her head up high. Ryuji furrows his brows and looks down at their hands. 

"You ain't embarrassed?" Ryuji pondered out loud. 

She shook her head. “Let them talk, we know the truth.” When they started their original deal, she seemed too ashamed to be seen with him that they hid in the student council office. He could see the change in her, just with this simple gesture. When they walked out of the school, they saw Haru and Ann at the bottom of the steps. They seemed to be entranced in their own conversation to see them. 

"Hey, are we taking the car there?" Makoto asked, interrupting their conversation. 

“Yes! Now that you’re both here, we can leave,” Haru answers. The four Shujin students shuffled into the car. Haru went into the front seat, with the other three in the back row. With the doors closed, they were off to LeBlanc. All things considered, Ryuji was surprised to see how calm Ann was with them in the car. She was laughing, holding up a normal conversation with Makoto and Haru. 

"Ann, ain’t you just angry with me and Makoto? ‘Bout the palace shit?" Ryuji asks the question in both of their minds. Makoto is surprised to see him boldly ask, but she was also wondering the same thing. As a result, Ann looks down and fidgets with the bottom of her skirt. 

"The four of us made a group chat separately to talk about it. We all came to the conclusion that if you didn't tell us, then it was for a good reason. We're all dying to know, but we all have our secrets. Yours and Makoto’s just got put on blast. So if either one of you ever wants to tell us about it, or not, we get it."

Makoto didn't know what to say. They had gone through so much as a group. She should've known with time they would understand. Ann’s response was everything she could’ve asked for: understanding and compassion. 

“Thank you,” Makoto said, turning her face to look out the window. They weren’t far from LeBlanc now. The driver pulled up near the cafe, only a short walk from the street. Haru briefly talked to the driver before he went off. The four made the trek, and were the last ones to arrive. Yusuke and Futaba were already sitting next to each other in the booth, and in front of them, Akira. As soon as the four of them entered, the other three stood up. 

“Hey you big bastard!” Ryuji yelled, immediately jumping in for a hug. Akira laughed, returning the embrace. It was one thing to come up with the plan, but it was another thing to see it actually work out in their favor.  
Over the next hour, the team explained their plan to Sae and Sojiro. From the very beginning of Akechi mentioning pancakes to the police falsifying his death as a suicide, the groups managed to explain every detail and answer every question asked by either adult. The entire time, Makoto could see her sister maturely take everything with stride. She wasn’t the same monster she was before, and it showed with the respect she had for their actions. 

While listening to others talk, it was as if all the concerns she had disappeared. Ann was right; everyone was treating her like they normally would. There didn’t appear to be any lingering anger or even pity when she was talking. Everything was slowly starting to resolve itself, and now with her sister actually listening to people, she could resolve their own issues. As things winded down, and with the decision to pursue Shido as the next target, the meeting was adjourned. As Makoto stood up from her seat at the bar, she saw her sister approach her. 

“I owe you multiple apologies,” Sae says, slipping into the seat next to her. “I’m not sure if you’re ready to talk to me, especially after what I’ve done to you.” 

“...I’m ready to listen to what you have to say.” Makoto smiles, happy her sister was willing to have a civilized conversation with her. 

“I’m sorry for pushing you to date Akechi. I don’t know what overcame me to do it, I was so driven by success and ensuring you had your own, I was considered him too highly. I shouldn’t have threatened to kick you out because you decided to not continue seeing him. In retrospect, it seems like you made a great decision.” 

“I don’t think it would have worked out, even if he was an honest man,” Makoto laughs. Sure, she knew everything he had up his sleeve even when going on the date, but they all had an appearance to maintain. She could have said no, but she was better off playing along. After all, they had to lead him to believe they took him into their team. 

“It seems as though it worked out in your favor with the other boy, Sakamoto was it?” By then, Ryuji had left with Yusuke and Akira to eat at his favorite noodle place. She could freely talk about him without worrying about their conversation being overheard. The only other thieves still here were Futaba and Haru, who seemed to be deep in their own discussions in a booth on the other side of LeBlanc. 

“Yes, but we’re kind of on a break right now. We had a conversation not too long ago about our own problems and had decided to be apart until we could work them out. Haru and I had our own conversation yesterday, and she advised me to pursue the relationship anyway.” 

“I would agree with her as well, as long as you’re both comfortable doing so. Just because you may be ready to take the plunge doesn’t mean he is.” Makoto hadn’t considered it that way. She just assumed he was ready, but if he wasn’t, then she just pushed him into something she wasn’t ready to do. He was putting in the work, but that didn’t mean he was ready.  
“Interesting perspective. I’ll consider that when talking to him about it. But sis, does that mean you’re okay if we’re together? I know he doesn’t have the title or an amazing reputation, but he has a kind heart. He makes me really happy.” Makoto felt afraid of rejection. She had every reason to remain afraid since the face she showed in front of the Phantom Thieves didn’t mean she was as understanding with private matters. 

“He seems a little brash, but it’s not my business who you date. As long as he doesn’t hurt you or encourages you to pursue a negative path, then you have my blessing.” 

“Oh I’m so happy to have you back!” Makoto exclaims, swirling slightly in her chair. That was another problem down… the checklist was growing shorter and shorter, even with Shido hovering in the Phantom Thieves’ minds. 

“Now that that’s out of the way, I wonder what your thoughts were on moving back on. I’m sure you’re settled wherever you are, but if you want to come back, you know you’re always welcome.” Makoto hadn’t really considered the idea of going back. Sae was right; she had settled in beautifully at Haru’s over the last week or so. It felt like she was there longer, but counting back the days, it couldn’t have been more than two weeks. 

“I hadn’t considered either option yet. Haru felt weird in her own home without someone else there after her father passed away, so she was very eager to welcome me.” After she said that out loud, she felt like she had known the decision all along. Makoto loved her sister, but she also appreciated the idea of spreading her wings a little early. She would be off to college in a few months, and would likely have moved out based on where she chose to go. 

“It sounds like you both benefit from the arrangement. I love you, but if this is what you want, then I will support you. Likewise, if you change your mind I’ll gladly take you back.” 

“Well that makes one of us; Akira is out as soon as his year ends,” Sojiro says jokingly, wiping down the bar. She had nearly forgotten there were others around listening to them. Makoto looked over at Haru, seeing if she was listening in. However, it looked like Haru and Futaba were still deep in their own discussion. From the looks of it, Haru seemed to help everyone with their own problems. 

“Ha ha,” Sae dryly laughs in return. “We can talk about the logistics of moving the rest of your belongings tomorrow...Anyway, there’s something a little more pressing you should know. Those photographs, the ones I showed you.” Sae pulls out her phone, tapping away until she’s back at the photos. 

The one she opens up shows Ryuji and Makoto right outside of the Penguin Sniper club in Kichijoji. He had his arms wrapped around her waist, and she had her hands on his chest. She was looking away from him, back towards the doorway. Meanwhile, he had his eyes on her. It appeared as though she was laughing at something he had said. The look in his eyes… she’d never seen him look at her that way. She caught glances from time to time, but he looked absolutely smitten. 

_Right, the photographs, focus on him later_

“What about them?” Makoto wasn’t sure why Sae had brought up the photos now. Sae hits back on the photo, showing a few other images she’d seen that night. At the top of the message screen, she saw the name. 

_Of course it was him..._

“Makoto, you should know I got the photos from Akechi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shout out to everyone who called akechi being behind the photos a few chapter ago lol, you know who you are


	24. Love In The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally I don't really recommend listening to the song the chapters are named after because if you want to read in silence or listen to other stuff, you do you. But for the second half of this chapter ~~and trust me you'll know when~~ I'd recommend listening to Love in the Dark by Jessie Reyez.  
> That is all 🥺

It was yet another long week for Makoto. They entered Shido's palace for the first time this week but didn't plan to pursue it seriously until the next trip. It left everyone on edge, but the idea of returning was exciting to all of them. 

And after a long discussion between her, Sae and Haru, Makoto was permanently moving into Haru's home. She did promise to visit Sae often, and while it still made Makoto sad knowing she was moving out for good, she was excited for this next chapter of her life. 

Now, Makoto places the last of her belongings back on her shelf and steps back to admire her work.

"It looks like you’ve settled in," Haru said, looking in through the open doorway. 

"Hm? Yes, it took us a little longer than I had hoped, but everything is in its place. It almost looks like my old room." Makoto notes. Since officially moving in, Haru insisted she switch to the other guest room, which was larger than the other room she was staying in. It didn't require much moving with the things she already had here since she was essentially living out of a suitcase. But now that she could settle in permanently, she felt like she had a lot more space to work with. 

"Oh, I forgot to bring the curtains, I'll be right back." Haru walks off for a short moment, returning with long curtains and a step ladder. While the room was mostly done, the one thing they had left was covering up the windows. Even though they were stories above, Haru still offered Makoto the option to do so. Although, she took it more to ensure her room could be dark whenever she wanted. After a few minutes of trial and error, the curtains are placed. 

"Okay, now I'm settled in," Makoto says. She looks at the time on the wall clock. 2:35pm. They didn't have a lot of time. "Did you get the passes?" 

Haru pulls two badges out from her sweatshirt pocket, handing one over to Makoto. The badge wasn't complex; just a few words stating it was a backstage pass, with a small disclaimer at the bottom stating they did not have tickets. 

"Great, we should get moving, he's on soon."

Makoto had confided in Haru about the Akechi photos, and knew that despite everything that had happened, she needed to talk to him. As much as she wanted to beat him up, she just needed real closure. She didn't expect much, but any answer was better than nothing at all. 

As a result, Haru and Makoto developed a plan to catch Akechi in his dressing room after his latest television interview. Haru used her influence to secure backstage credentials, allowing them to walk around backstage. Despite the passes, they still wanted to be careful to avoid being seen.

Today, he was on at 4:30pm today, giving them about a little over two hours to make it by his room. It was one of the rare times Haru opted to use her chauffeur outside of school, since his interview was on a Sunday afternoon. But the car saved them the time, something they couldn't rely on the train for. After all, Makoto knew she wouldn't have a lot of time to speak to him. If he didn't call security on them, she should ideally have enough time to talk before he was pulled away to his next commitment. 

"I'm estimating I could have around 20 minutes max to speak to him." Makoto says in the back of the car. On the screen in the car, Akechi's interview was on. They both agreed to keep it on mute, using it more to ensure he was still on television while they were stuck in traffic. He was smiling on television, the same charismatic detective as always. Thankfully, they weren't too far from the station and still had some time to spare. 

"Do you think you'll need more than that?" Haru asks. 

Makoto shakes her head, lowering her voice. "I'll be lucky if I get 10. You saw what happened at the palace." 

"I'm surprised you wanted to pursue this, knowing he was seriously trying to hurt you." 

"I need answers. Also, that's why I need you to stay right outside the door. In case something happens, I'll shout for you. I doubt he'll try anything considering we're both fairly powerless compared to the metaverse, but better safe than sorry." 

"Agreed!" The car slows down, and they stand outside the tall corporate building. 

They check in with their passes and step into the fancy elevator. Makoto watches the numbers go up, similar to her racing heart. She needed this, but that didn't make it any easier on her. The door slowly opens, and they see dozens of people scurrying around. Some were moving around with expensive equipment, while others seemed preoccupied with their own conversations. All in all, it was mildly chaotic. A perfect cover. 

"Let's go, we don't have a lot of time." Makoto and Haru walk into the mess, following the general flow of people walking. There was one main hallway, which they found on accident thanks to the flow of people walking. The further they went down the hall, the less people there were. Along this hallway, there was a smaller one connected to it. At the very edge, there was a door with the name 'Goro Akechi' printed. 

"I'll be here if you need me." Haru says, assuming her position next to the door. There weren't too many people, but it was hard to see Haru unless someone purposely came into the hallway. It reassured Makoto that nothing would go wrong. The passes would only get them so far, especially since someone could see her leaving Akechi's room and ask questions.

"Thanks, wish me luck," Makoto knocks on the door. When there's no response, she tries again, knocking a little louder. 

"Can you come back later?" She hears Akechi say from the other side. Makoto feels a chill run down her spine. Despite everything, he still sounded like a normal person. Not like he was one. 

"Akechi, we need to talk," Makoto says, now loud enough for him to hear. She hears some shuffling, with footsteps getting louder with each step, a heavy tired sigh. The door opens, with Akechi in his white button down and black slacks. His top two buttons were undone, and his shirt was mostly untucked. There were dark circles beneath his eyes that weren't there during the interview. Overall, he looked tired, unlike the face he put on screen less than an hour ago.

"What a surprise," Akechi says dryly, looking at her and Haru. "I thought you'd want nothing to do with me after that stunt I pulled with Akira." 

Makoto stood her ground, faking a sad look before speaking. After all, she still had to pretend Akira was dead. 

"I think we have something to discuss. Won't you let me in?" Makoto says firmly. Akechi seems to grip the door tightly, his jaw clenching. A second later he opens the door a little wider, letting her inside. 

"Will you be joining us?" Akechi looks at Haru, and she shakes her head. 

"I'm waiting out here, thank you." Haru doesn't look at him. He bites his lip, and closes the door. Makoto is surprised to see him keep it unlocked. 

His dressing room was much smaller than she would've expected. There's two mirrors, a table, and two chairs along the far wall. There are two black couches directly across from each other with a large glass table in between them. Makoto chooses to sit on the couch closest to the door. In the corner, there's a small bar. While there's no alcohol there, Akechi walks over to pour a glass of water. 

"Would you like some water?" He asks. 

"No." Makoto was likely overthinking it, but she wasn't going to take anything he offered her. His threat at the student council office hadn't sat well with her, and after seeing him willingly use a limelight on her, she had to be on guard. 

"Alright then." He brings the water over and slumps down on the couch across from her. She couldn't explain it, but he seemed off. Almost like he hadn't slept in days. 

"I'm going to cut to the chase here." Makoto reaches into her sweater pocket and holds up her phone. On it, a photo of her and Ryuji, one he had taken. He stares at it blankly before scoffing. 

"She told you didn't she?" Akechi says, referencing Sae. He doesn't make eye contact, opting to look at the water he swished around in the glass. 

"I need you to tell me how you knew, why you followed us and why you used this as blackmail." He puts the untouched water on the table and sits up on the edge of his seat. 

"I was already in the area, there's a jazz club I frequent in the area. I saw you two walking there, and chose to wait outside until I could get the photos. I followed you to Ryuji's home. For Phantom Thieves, I would have hoped you were more aware of your surroundings."

_Ouch, I can’t blame him there._

It was a fair statement, they were out in the open. Granted, neither of them were even considering the possibility because they shouldn't have to. They were two people going out as normal teenagers do. 

"That's how you knew. But why follow us? Why bother wasting so much time on this? It's low, even for you Akechi." She sees his tired eyes turn dark. She wasn't sure what it was, but it felt like he was losing his cool. She had yet to see him as anything besides calm and composed, even when he was in an argument against the other Phantom Thieves. 

"You rejected me. I sent Sae the photos in hopes she would persuade you to give me another chance. When it didn't lead to a text message from you over the weekend, I went to Shujin in hopes of collecting more photographs. But I couldn't find you until I checked the student council office. Of course after the little limelight incident, I feel much better."

All of that… all the fear she felt over her sister, her argument with Ryuji, because he couldn't let her go. It explained his visit to Shujin. It wasn't to apologize to her, it was to collect more blackmail. It was her turn to feel furious. 

"Your unwillingness to let go caused me to leave my home because I felt unsafe. You nearly killed me because I rejected you again in the student council office.”

“Well that sounds like quite the predicament, doesn’t it?” Akechi laughs, but his face doesn’t match his go-lucky tone. 

“You need to get a grip on reality." 

"I have." 

"You - What?" That wasn't what she had expected. The fury was still in his face, she could see it in the way he gripped his pants. His disheveled appearance was likely an indication of something deeper, and she didn't think his 'grip on reality' was what she expected. 

"I'm doing just fine. I've accepted this reality. I truly don’t care anymore if you like or more not; I’ve had my revenge, and I’m moving on. I’m free." 

"You sure don't look like you are," Makoto sharply says to him. He looked taken aback. "You were so pristine in your television interview today, and now that I see you behind the scenes, maybe it's not as black and white as it seems." 

“You know nothing of my life.” 

It’s Makoto’s turn to laugh, “You’re right, I don’t. If I did, you might give me another reason to hate you.”

Akechi looked like he was going to burst, tears on the corners of his eyes. That's when she hears him quietly speak -

"You need to leave. Now."

Suddenly Makoto wasn't feeling so safe anymore. Akechi stands up, grabbing the water. Makoto also quickly stands up and runs for the door. But when she hears shattering, it's not towards her. From the corner of her eye, she sees glass shards on the floor, mixed with bits of a mirror. His hands tightly grabbing his head as he looks into his broken reflection. 

Before she can react, Haru pulls her fully out of the room

"We need to leave now!" Haru says, and the two run back through the hallway. Makoto didn't care about being seen, she'd gotten what she needed. Well, some of it. She admitted she wasn't expecting to see him in such a state, and it would prove to become valuable information later on. They don't stop running until they're out of the building and close to the train station further down the block. They're both out of breath and dripping in sweat, but they felt safe. 

"Holy..shit..that was close," Makoto says in between breaths. They find a vending machine and drink through an entire bottle of water before they seemingly crash on a bench. 

"I heard the glass," Haru says, a worried look on her face. "You didn't get hit, did you?" 

Makoto shakes her head, "No, he hit a mirror. I'm okay."

"Did you get the answers you were hoping for?" 

"Kind of. The timing worked in his favor, he was already in the part of town. Regarding why he did it… turns out he couldn't stop crushing on me. He said he’s moved on and it seems like he’s honest about that? But then he threw the glass-" 

"Well that's immature of him." Makoto wasn't sure why, but Haru's statement had her laugh hard, even if her face was still. Maybe it was the idea of Akechi being immature or just the stress of the situation and using laughter as a coping mechanism. Probably the second one. 

"Yeah, it doesn't entirely surprise me, he seems very all or nothing. While I don't think I got all the answers I wanted, I did notice he is in a state of decay. You avoided looking at him, but it seemed like he hadn't slept in weeks." 

Haru perked up, "What do you mean? Do you think the case is impacting him negatively?" 

"I think there's something deeper happening. I'm not saying anything specific will happen, but we know he's connected to Shido. It would be smart to consider the possibility of a reunion at Shido's palace."

Haru gasped. "We've barely explored the ship yet. We have no way to predict it." 

"If we're fortunate, nothing will happen. But we need to stay on guard in case something does happen. I made the mistake of not telling anyone about seeing Sae's palace ahead of time. I'm not making the same mistake again here." 

Makoto feels her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulls it out, seeing Ryuji is calling her. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey! How ya doing?" She hears him speak on the other line. 

"We're a little frazzled but we're fine. I'll explain later. What's going on with you?" Haru moves closer to Makoto to hear her call. 

"Well, if ya got some time tonight, you wanna hang out? I know you wanna chat... just wanted to see if ya were good." Makoto bit her lip. She hadn't exactly been putting it off… she just lost track of the week. With them entering Shido’s palace, planning the letters of introduction and Makoto moving, she hadn't exactly had a chance to consider Ryuji. Well, no better time than the present. 

"Sure, meet me at Haru's in…" Makoto looks down at her clothing, wanting to change after sweating from the run. "In an hour or two?"

"Sounds good, see ya then." Ryuji hung up, sighing heavily. "Dude, I owe ya one."

"I know," Akira grins. Ryuji was in Akira's bedroom, laying down on his couch. With the phone on his chest, he felt excited. He knew Makoto had been busy all week, so he gave her some time. If it weren't for Akira motivating him to call, he didn't know how long he would've waited. 

"I gotta help ya with Yoshizawa after I get with Makoto," Ryuji sits back up, his phone falling on the floor. He reaches over and picks it up. "Whatever ya need, I gotcha." 

"I don’t understand how all of you know when I don’t even talk about it." Akira looks away, his foot tapping against the floor. Ryuji knew better, his friend was worried about something. 

"Yeah I know, you’re holdin’ out on me, man!" Ryuji stands up, trying to get Akira to look at him in the face. 

"I’m just trying to make this work okay? Just uh, give us some time." Ryuji could tell Akira was really flustered.

Ryuji gasps. "Come on man!" He slaps him on the back, but Akira continues to look awkward. "Don't you like her?"

"I do, but it’s complicated." Akira stands up, pushing Ryuji towards the door. "But that's a conversation for another day. You need to go to Makoto."

Ryuji pressures his heels to slow the pushing. "Come on! Had I known you had this on your mind, I wouldn't have called her."

Despite Ryuji's protests, Akira successfully pushes him to the door. "Look, we're just staying private. There's nothing else you need to know."

"Man.." Ryuji grabs his coat from the hanger, throwing it on. He opens the door and starts to walk down the steps, "I hate you!" 

"Love ya too, Ryuji!" He hears the door close, and Ryuji starts to walk through LeBlanc until he hears Sojiro clear his throat. He was sitting on a tall chair behind the counter, his arms crossed. 

"See ya, boss," Ryuji starts to continue walking, hearing Sojiro respond

"Go get em'." Sojiro jokes. Ryuji rolls his eyes but continues through. He knew Sojiro could practically hear everything in Akira's room if he was around, even if he said he ignored it most of the time. It wouldn't surprise him if he had heard all of his and Makoto's conversation. 

Entering back in the cold, Ryuji started the trek to Makoto's new home. He hadn't been to Haru's place yet, but he knew it was in an expensive part of town. It felt weird considering he'd been to Makoto's old place a few times, and now that she'd move, it could only be an upgrade. He wasn't sure where they were going, or if he was coming inside. On the train ride there, he thought about what to say to her. While talking with Akira, he had come to a conclusion. 

They had to try their relationship. 

Sure, they had their issues, but Ryuji was trying hard, and from what it looked like, she was too. They could work together, they had to work together. It's what he figured helped break his parents up: they never talked things through. They just stayed angry at each other, and it led to his dad becoming abusive. Ryuji didn't want that, and it meant fighting for what he wanted. 

"You got this, you got this." He hypes himself up, jumping off the train. He had to use a map application to walk a few blocks, making sure he was on the right track. He spots a tall building and sees the application mark it as the destination. 

Shit, it's a real upgrade.

Ryuji: So like, do I go inside?   
Makoto: Yes, go to the elevator and press the top bottom. We're in the penthouse. 

Penthouse? Just when he thought it couldn't get any fancier, he stepped into the building. The lobby is filled with a ton of empty space and useless furniture, something he noticed in any expensive building he went into. He admired the view of the outside, seeing everything get smaller the further he got from the ground in the elevator. He snaps a quick photo before hearing the door chime open. 

At first, he's not sure where to go until he sees there's only one way to go. His steps are a lot louder than he wants, and he leaves a slight track from the dirt he'd brought in from the outside. He knocks on the door, not seeing the doorbell. Thankfully, Haru opens the door instead of a total stranger as he expected. 

"Ryuji! It's so nice to see you, Makoto will be out in a moment. Come and sit, I can make you some tea." Haru leaves the door open and goes immediately to the kitchen. 

"Uh, I'm good thanks, maybe next time." He stops her before she goes too far. She smiles, choosing to the stand by the tall windows instead. He felt weird coming inside, but did so anyway. Slipping off his shoes, he felt like he couldn't touch anything in here without breaking it. 

"You can sit if you'd like." Haru gestures to an armchair. 

"Everything looks so expensive, I feel like I'm gonna break it."

"If it makes you feel less nervous, I can take you to her room." Haru says. Ryuji nods. He was grateful how transparent he could be at times because he felt so weird being a place so fancy. None of the other Phantom Thieves lived in anything close to this. Ann was probably the closest, and hers was only a little nicer than Makoto's old place. Ryuji is taken down a short hallway, and Haru stops in front of a door. 

"Thanks Haru."

"Anytime!" She scurries off. He liked her, but boy was she weird. He couldn't ever get a good read on her, but she was pretty harmless. At least in reality she was. In the metaverse… Well, at least he felt safe if she was on his team. He knocks lightly on the door, only for Makoto to immediately open it. 

"Sorry, I got sidetracked. You want to head out?" 

"I'm going out, have fun, goodbye!" Makoto hears Haru yell, followed by a door slam. Weird, Haru hadn't mentioned she was going anywhere tonight… 

_Oh, she must be expecting Ryuji and I to have sex…_

"If you'd like we can stay in my room." Makoto offers. 

"Yeah, at least your room looks the same. I keept thinkin’ I’m gonna break somethin’ in the other rooms." Ryuji steps in, looking at the room arrangement. He was surprised how similar it was to her old room, just larger. 

"I doubt it. I'm fairly confident whatever she bought is indestructible." 

Ryuji chuckles, before scratching the back of his neck. He goes straight to the point, "Listen, I know everything has been kinda crazy, but whatever you wanna talk 'bout, I'm here." 

Makoto bit her lip. The list was longer now than it was when she first texted. He sits down on the bed, both of them on different ends with Makoto staying near pillows and Ryuji at the foot of the bed. 

"Yes, about that… there's something else I need to tell you first. My sister told me who took the photos. It was Akechi." 

"What the hell?" Ryuji shouts. He tightly pressed his lips together, holding back the other yelling he wanted to do. He beats his hand on his thigh a few times before speaking. "Did ya find out why?" 

"Before you panic about what I’m going to tell you, we're here so we got out safely. But earlier today, I went to go talk to him. Haru was with me the whole time." 

"Shit, why didn't ya tell me?" 

"Haru got me the passes, she came with me as back up, and I can take care of myself." She said confidently. He was hurt that she didn't tell him, but seeing her take charge like this reminded him of when she essentially threw herself into Kaneshiro's cave back in June. It was stupid, but it provided valuable information for the Phantom Thieves later on. And without that trip, Makoto would've never joined their team. 

"Ok, but what did he say ‘bout it? How did the guy even know?" 

"It was simply perfect timing. He was going to the jazz club and saw us walking there. He did it because he still had a crush on me, and while he said he was over it, something about him seemed off."

"Off how?" 

"Like he was going insane. I've never seen him with such dark circles beneath his eyes. I'm going to tell the rest of the team next time we meet, but we should be on alert in case we see him in Shido's palace." 

"Shit, that's smart."

She was brilliant. Yeah, it was stupid, but she made it out. He wasn't going to be the one to stop her, because honestly, she could probably take down more people with words than he ever could. And as shitty as it was to hear, it was great having an answer. He'd stopped thinking about it since the palaces got hectic, but in remembering it, he realized something. 

"Wait, did I show you the photos at all?" It was like she had read his mind. 

"Nah, you just told me about it." Makoto flips through her phone briefly. 

"Honestly most of them aren't great, a lot of movement. It stresses me out looking at them. Although there's one photo I asked my sister to send me…" Makoto hands him the phone. He sees them laughing outside of the Penguin Sniper, and he remembers the moment. They were hugging when he made a bad joke related to the name of the business. It was a nice moment, even nicer to see it photographed. He still hated Akechi, but this photo was the one good thing that came out of that mess. 

_She's so beautiful_

"Can ya send me that?" Ryuji quietly asks, passing the phone back. 

"Yes I can," Makoto immediately texts it to him. He makes a mental note to make that his background later. He knew there was something else she wanted to talk about since she had asked him before Sae was talking to them again so it couldn't have been this.

"So let's stop talking about that asshole. What did you really wanna talk about? B-before, when ya said ya wanted to chat." 

"I want to try." She says simply. Ryuji moves a little closer, something she doesn't protest. 

"Whaddya mean?" Makoto moves to sit directly next to him, grabbing his hand. He feels like the moment he had been waiting for was coming, but deep down he didn't want to get his hopes up. After she initiated the idea of waiting, it left him thinking if he wasn't good enough for her, motivating him to work on his own anger issues. 

"I'm tired of waiting and hesitating. I've gotten some good advice telling me that if I really want to try dating you, I should just go for it. Although, I was also told to make sure you were okay with it as well." 

“Foreal?” 

“Yes, for real.”

Ryuji cups her face and kisses her. It's a wave of emotion rushing over him. Excitement because he finally heard the words he was waiting for. Happiness because she was starting to feel well enough to consider this. Fear for the future they might have together, and for going into this kiss too early. He pulls away, looking at her shocked. 

"I-I got excited." He stammers. Instead of pushing him away, she pulls him for another kiss. This time, he feels as though he can let go of negative emotions. Makoto wanted this as much as he did, and it was one of the best things to happen to him recently. 

They pull away when they both clamor for air. He wanted to push her down, and have sex as wild as they did the first time around. But he didn't have a condom, and it wasn't likely that she had one either. 

"I've missed you so much." Makoto smiles, not letting go of him. 

"Me too, it's been a shitty few weeks." She pulls him down, and they lay awkwardly before Ryuji moves himself to lay on her pillow. She wraps her arms around him and lays her cheek against his chest. Unsure what to do with his arms, he uses one to hold her hand and the other to wrap around her shoulders. 

"There's more to say. But I wanted to do good news before the not so good news." He thought Akechi was the bad news, but did this mean this was worse? He couldn't really imagine anything worse than that right now, at least in this conversation. 

"You got anythin' else after that?" He asks. 

"No, after this we can focus on other topics and cuddle because I don't have condoms and I'm assuming you don't either." Well, that was one way to get him excited for their next date. 

"Sounds like we got some catchin' up to do then." He teases, squeezing her a little tighter. Now that they could be together, he was ready for the long haul. 

"I'll follow your lead and be blunt. I believe I have post traumatic stress disorder and am planning to see a therapist after we deal with Shido's palace to confirm it or receive treatment if it’s something else." Whoa whoa, PTSD was no joke. Ryuji felt himself freeze up, not really sure what to say or do after that. He knew it was from Sae's palace, but realistically, what could he say or do besides offer some comfort?

"Shit you right, it ain't good news." He could only do what he did best: joke around. But he clears his throat, making sure she knew he wasn't done. He didn't want to mess up this soon, "It’s for Sae's palace, ain't it?" 

"Yeah. I've recovered a bit since leaving the palace. It feels like my nightmares aren't as bad anymore. However, I need a professional to get me through the rest of it. I can see this taking a few years." _Years… shit…_ Ryuji knew she was in distress, but her off the bat saying it would take years was something else. How was he supposed to help her through this? He couldn’t do much more than offer moral support. Maybe that’s all she needed from him, especially if she was looking for a professional anyway. 

“Anythin’ I can do?” 

“I just need your support, more than anything. There may be times where I want to be left alone, or I may really need you. Are you up to it?”

“Sounds like a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're coming down to the wire, folks. I hope this makes your Monday better because I super excited to post this chapter this morning.   
> ~~also yet another deal remember those lol~~


	25. Turn Off The Lights

At long last, it was time to bring down Shido. The team had just entered the palace, a plan in motion to earn every single letter of introduction they needed. It would require traversing throughout the entire ship, and putting all of their skills to the test. Although, it didn't mean they didn't run into hiccups. 

Prior to entering, the team held its first real strategy meeting. Makoto makes sure she's the first one to speak, talking about her and Haru seeing Akechi for the first time since Sae's palace. It's shocking to everyone at first, but when she explains what happened, it becomes a crucial idea going into the palace. They all know Akechi is related to Shido in one way or another, but they weren't sure how deep it went. Whether or not there was a cognitive version of him was a novel idea. 

"We'll have to keep an eye out. Anything on him will be considered important information," Akira says after Makoto finishes. She feels Ryuji gently squeeze her hand beneath the table. She shoots him a quick smile, before going back to her serious face. They had yet to really tell anyone, but she had a feeling everyone would know before the end of the palace. Their group was too tight-knit for it to not come up in conversation. 

Nonetheless, they had a mission in mind for the day: getting to the first three letters of introduction. They had opted to split the palace into three days done over a ten-day period, with the second day dedicated to the other two letters, and the final Shido fight. If everything went well, they should have his heart well before election day. 

But first: traversing through the nuances of the palace. 

Getting into the dining room was their first real challenge. Nonetheless, they fought their way through and managed to enter the room where they would find their first target, Mr. Ooe. 

Queen looked around the lavish room, seeing many older men and women scattered around. They all seemed too involved in their own conversations to notice a group of masked teenagers enter the room. Her eyes drifted, looking for the target. She spotted him speaking with another man with an empty table next to them. 

"Joker, there," Queen gestures to the empty table. "We should take advantage of that empty table. I can take the lead on that." 

He nods. "Good idea. He seems preoccupied at the moment, so now would be a good time to go." 

Queen speaks to the whole team now, "I'm going over to that table to get a closer look at him."

“Wouldn’t it be odd with just one girl sitting there?” Noir points out.

"I'll go!" Skull quickly jumps in. Before Queen can thank him, he cuts her off, "There's probably alotta good food here right?" 

"You can't get full off of food in a palace," Oracle points out. Queen had just been wondering why he was so excited to join her… I mean, they were dating, but he seemed a little too excited at the chance of food.

“Everyone, wait for my signal. Let’s go Skull,” Queen starts walking towards the table. 

“Don’t gotta tell me twice!” Skull picks up his pace to be right behind her. They sit at the table across from each other, where menus are already placed. He was excited to try anything that was offered here, even if he couldn’t get full off of it. He picks up the menu, noting how heavy it is. Surprisingly, nothing on it made sense. It seemed like everything was written in French or English. Skull gives a pleading look at Queen, who rolls her eyes. She raises her hand, calling over a nearby waiter. 

“I’ll have the sauteed foie gras, a salad garnished with truffles and roasted lamb, please.” She calmly says. The waiter nods, walking away. Queen knew they likely wouldn’t have a chance to eat any of it, but it was important to maintain appearances. If she could look like she knew what she was doing, then it would greatly benefit both of them. Even if Skull couldn’t read the menu. 

“I can’t believe you can order so easily like that…” He comments. She wasn’t living in a high-class situation before, but he was shocked to see how easily it came to her. “You don’t eat like that normally, do ya?”

“Of course not, I’m not interested in any of this.” Queen holds up the menu, shaking it lightly, “I can read, unlike maybe someone I know.”

“Hey, you’re the one datin’ the guy who can’t read,” Skull jabs back. Queen adds a slight smirk to her face. As much as she loved the banter, they had a mission to do. They had to keep their eyes peeled for anything. They couldn’t get trapped by anyone in their first letter. She looks around, noticing how everyone looked the same. Earlier she saw everyone was older, but everyone just looked blank. 

“We must stay focused. Notice anything odd?” Queen notes. Sure, he could stay focused for now. But he was going to get back at her later for that comment. 

Skull looks at the people around him before answering, “We’re kinda young compared to these other guys yeah?” 

“Exactly. They all seem to be major figures in the political and financial world-” Quee stops mid-sentence, her eyes shifting over to the table next to them. Mr. Ooe and another man were standing up, coming in their direction, “Act natural, Skull.”

The two men sauntered over, with the other man standing closely behind the powerful politician. Queen knew a little about him, but not enough to get the information she wanted. She knew if they were to be successful, she had to be cunning and confident. There was no room for error. 

“On whose permission are you sitting here, brats? I wish to dine leisurely, and children like you who’re hungry should simply leave.” His voice is commanding, matching his strong stance. Skull felt the anger boiling inside of him. He was sick of adults talking down to him like that. Without thinking twice, he stood up, ready to take him on. 

“What was that…” Skull glares directly at him but hears Queen clear her throat. He turns to see Queen staring him down just as equally. Right, temper. They had to maintain appearances, and him starting a fight now was not going to help at all. He calmly sits back down, trying to simmer. “S-sorry…”

Queen takes a chance to stand up herself, perfecting her posture. “I apologize for the discourtesy, but might you be Mr. Ooe?”

Mr. Ooe straightens his back. “Yes, and if you’re looking for one of those letters of introduction, you can forget it. I already saw another high-schooler here already, and I said no to them and I’ll say no to you as well.” 

Queen’s ears perk up. They were the only ones in here as far as they knew. Was there someone else in there along with them? Akechi was the only other person who could have known about the palace. But him saying ‘them’ implies either they didn't know who they were, or there was more than one person here. 

"I see. I'm not certain who else has passed through, but we're very interested in Mr. Shido's political ideology. His words resonate with us. I would assume as one of his loyal supporters, we may also be interested in your points as well." 

Skull wasn't certain if he would believe any of what she said, but it sounded good. Although, he was also interested in what Ooe said, but for other reasons. Skull was certain he was referring to Akechi being in the palace, but what reason would he have to come into the palace? If they are working together, why would he want to be here?

"I see, you have quite the tongue for a high school student. I remember hearing of a high school principal actually who kicked the bucket because he tried to leak Shido's name. Had he listened, he could've been on my level and picking the shutdowns himself."

Queen had found her way in, "I see. I'm assuming someone as important as you would pick a high-class official to bring down. Say another politician or executive." 

Skull, on the other hand, was only somewhat keeping up. He wasn't sure what Queen's endgame was, but it was amazing just to watch her talk with such power. 

"Ha! Not quite. Do we recall the subway accident from last April?" 

Skull stands back up, "Was that you?" 

"I asked them to cause a shutdown in the engineer. I knew my rival would be on the train, and thankfully, he passed away as well. Everyone else was just a casualty for the greater cause." 

It was sickening how perfectly fine he was causing a massive accident. Many people had lost their lives that day, and to him they meant nothing. Queen felt the gears in her brain going into overdrive. She had all the pieces she needed. 

"That was very resourceful of you Mr. Ooe. I'm sure my sister, a well-known prosecutor for the city, would be very interested in this information...now, won't you write us a letter of introduction?" Queen says. She watches his demeanor change. He goes from somewhat aloof and laid-back to enraged. 

"Who even are you two?" The man behind him steps back, seemingly calling another man for help. 

"The letter of introduction please," Queen grins. Skull could see the satisfaction in her eyes. She seemed proud of herself for cornering the man. 

"You brats, I'll never write you a letter!" He yells. His tone becomes overly aggressive, his body movements more jagged. Both of them knew what was coming next. 

"Looks like we're gonna have to take it with brute force instead!" Skulls says, cracking his knuckles. Queen calls over the team, and begins the fight against the politician and his two henchmen. 

The politician transforms into a snake-like creature, with multiple heads coming out of a singular body. The shadow is tall enough to nearly reach the top of the room, overwhelming everything else around it. Queen heard people shouting and running for safety, giving the Phantom Thieves the perfect battlefield to forcefully take the letter. 

With Noir in the starting lineup, the Shadow's weakness is found within the first round. Her psychic ability knocks the shadow down, allowing them the opportunity to do their first of many all-out attacks. Joker easily pulls out a persona with a psychic move, giving them another chance to quickly take down the shadow. Skull and Queen spend most of the fight on standby, with Queen pulled in at the last minute to heal Joker. It's not a difficult fight, and it almost feels too easy for the team. 

When defeated, he provides them the letter before turning back and going off. People returned to the dining room as if nothing had happened, something Skull always found a little weird. He noticed it at Sae's palace, but seeing it here too was unusual. 

"First one down folks! You all kicked some serious ass!" Oracle goes around, high fiving the team. She gives everyone a high five before stopping at Fox, and pulling back, "Ah! Toooo slow!" 

"All things considered, I wouldn't celebrate too quickly. Ooe wasn't a cognition." Mona says. Everyone looks surprised. Queen can't help but consider it as well. He was a cognitive being with memories and mannerisms like the real One. However, a cognition shouldn't be turning into shadows. 

"So like a shadow wearing a cognition's skin?" 

"Kind of? There's no way of knowing. Either way, we need to proceed with caution. Shido is clearly a powerful palace ruler." Mona notes. 

"There's something else we should mention," Queen says, looking over at Skull. "Ooe said someone had asked him for a letter already, but didn't specify much. I have reasons to believe this may be Crow." 

"I know you mentioned he may be up to something, but to have it appear so soon is suspicious…" Joker says, trailing off towards the end before continuing, "Like Mona said, we'll keep moving carefully, for the letters and Crow." 

The group readjusted their plan slightly but started moving into the next area. Queen didn't mind starting in the standby team, especially when she was back there with Skull. With Akechi finally gone, they were back down to three members on standby. This time, it was Fox with them. 

"I hope we get moved into the main team sooner. Standing by is utterly boring." Fox says to the two, keeping a safe distance away from the main team. From the back, they were able to see their team turning into mice. 

"MOVE!" Oracle yells, pulling herself out of standby. She runs over to the main team, talking them through their situation. Queen sees an interesting look appear on Fox as he watches them. It was a similar look that she saw in Skull whenever he looked at her. Following his eyes, it looks as though he's only looking at Oracle. 

"Fox, you doing okay?" Queen asks. 

"Hm." He simply says, too deep in thought to say anything. She sighs, and nudges Skull. 

"Ow! What was that for?" 

"Look at him," She hisses at him, pointing to Fox. Ohhhh the girl was Futaba this whole time. It'd been a while since Skull had talked to Fox about his own relationship problems. In fact, the last time he did, Noir was still somewhat fresh to the team. Was he crushing on Oracle all this time?

After a short time, she returns to the standby team.

"Alrighty, Joker said to stay put until they figure out how to get through the little mouse traps. No biggie though," Oracle pulls up her data, looking through the map of the area, "I'm gonna be helping them." She walks over to the edge of the hallway, the furthest she could go without turning into a mouse herself. 

"I'll keep her company," Fox says, starting to go towards her. Skull wasn't having it. 

"Not so fast, buddy," Skull pulls on Fox's collar to hold him back. The two might've been together already, but if they were, he was pretty sure both him and Queen were interested in knowing about it. Especially with the way he looked at her…

"What is it? Oracle may need some support," He says firmly. Queen snorts before pack pedaling with a forced cough. 

"I'm sorry. You just seemed to look at Oracle in a way that's well… like you have feelings for her." Queen shrugs. 

"Well, of course, she's my friend. I have feelings for all of you." Fox retorts. Skull puts his hand on Fox's shoulder and looks at him straight in the eyes. 

"Dude, it's different. You look like you got it bad for her like you're crushin' hard. Like you like her romantically and shit " Skull is blunt with his comments. He knew that was really the only way anyone could get him to fully understand an idea. 

"...I don't know what you mean."

"You literally asked me like a month ago how to know if a girl is crushin' on you."

Fox looks back at Oracle for a moment before sighing. He flips his mask off, placing it on top of his head. He usually avoided doing that unless it was a serious topic. Skull and Queen did the same, understanding why he did it. 

"I'm fairly certain she may have romantic feelings for me. However, I have spent the past several weeks reading books and watching television shows at Noir's recommendation but I don't understand the purpose."

"It seems as though she's really become a matchmaker," Queen laughs. Without Noir initially pushing her to take the plunge with Skull, she may have waited too long to do so. She felt as though Noir had to take some credit in bringing them together. She remembers back to her conversation with Sae, and how Noir and Oracle had their own intense conversation. There wasn't much to consider at the time, but now things were different knowing they likely have feelings for each other. 

"Yes, but those relationship cues are specific to their relationships. I have no way of properly understanding how it would work for her. That's all I've been doing; attempting to analyze her behavior and determine if the feelings are mutual without her knowing." He comments. 

"That is way too much work, it’s way simpler than that," Skull says, stepping around Fox. Queen knew exactly what Skull was up to, and she didn't want him to be the one to do it. 

"Skull you better not-" 

"Hey, Oracle!" Skull yells across the hall. She doesn't answer immediately. "Hey ya little neet, listen up!" Oracle tilts her head back and groans before temporarily shutting down her system. 

"What do you want? You know I'm busy."

"We gotta know. Do ya-" 

Skull is interrupted by Joker reporting back. They had successfully gotten through, and it was now safe for them to continue on without becoming mice. Oracle jumps back on her feet and runs off ahead. The other three put their masks back on. 

"What exactly were you planning on doing?" Queen grabs onto Skull’s arm. 

"Uh…" He scratches the back of his neck, "Nothin' now?"

"Fox, go on ahead we'll tag along behind." Fox nods and goes on ahead. Queen was sure the last thing he wanted was to continue being grilled by the two. She waits until Fox is gone before talking directly to Skull. "What were you thinking? He has to be the one to do it. How would you have felt if Panther asked you in front of our friends if you had a crush on me before we started dating?" 

"That sounds like somethin' she'd do honestly." 

"Yeah…" She had to give him that. Panther was a great friend, but she could be a little enthusiastic at times when it came to love. It helped her relationship with Shiho thrive, but beforehand, it stressed Queen out. 

"But I guess I'd feel pretty shitty about it." 

"Yes, we should let him do the talking… but we can find ways to get them into situations that may start a romantic interaction." Queen flashes a big smile at him. Shit, he loved it when she thought like that. It wasn’t any real trouble, but she walked the fine line recently between getting in trouble and doing things for the greater good. It happened when she basically snuck in to see Akechi, and now in trying to scheme a way to get Oracle and Fox to talk about their feelings. They were in a palace, but it didn't mean he could find her absolutely beautiful.

"Kinda like what we're doin' right now?" Skull grabs onto her waist, pulling her closer to him. Queen figured they would be fine for a few minutes… 

"Maybe, but we both know what we want though." 

She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in for a kiss. The kiss turns into a full make-out session, with Skull letting his hands freely wander around her. Eventually they move against one of the hallway walls, with Queen's back against it. The wall doesn't stop either of them from trying to feel up the other. 

"Skull, Queen, you two okay?" Joker's voice echoes through. They pull away, taking a moment to catch their breath. 

"Yeah sorry, we got held up. We're on our way there now," Queen is quick to improvise. After hanging up, they both laugh before going through the other hallways and meeting up with their friends. As horrible as the Shido was, Skull had to applaud him for his palace. It was one of the nicest ones he’d seen in a while. Everything seemed well thought out and cohesive. Granted, he was aware that Shido was likely messing around with cognition. For all he knew, Shido could have created his own palace. 

Their next target was a former noble, spotted lounging near the pool. It looked like he was relaxing with a butler by his side without a care in the world. He could be spotted a mile away, especially with his eyes wandering to any girl that walked by. They weren’t going to be able to get his attention by walking up to him and just talking; he was too busy admiring women in swimsuits. And that’s when an idea strikes Skull. Not only was it a decent plan to get the letter of introduction, it was a way to get Fox to talk a little more about his own feelings. 

“Alright any other ideas for getting the second letter of introduction?” Joker says, standing at the head of the table in the safe room. Skull’s hand shoots right up. 

“Okay, hear me out,” Skull says, standing up from his seat. “We put the girls in bikinis-”

“Nope”  
“No way”   
“What??”

There’s a small chorus of protests already from the girls. Queen didn’t even want to hear the rest of what he had planned. Anything that involved her not in her suit was already unappealing. She was supposed to be killing shadows, not lounging by the pool. 

“I say we hear what he has to say. Perhaps this won’t be a terrible idea.” Fox says over the resounding no’s. 

“Please, you’re probably a closet perv.” Oracle laughs.

“I’m just saying,” He holds his hands up defensively, avoiding eye contact with her. “I think I understand where he’s going with his plan.” 

“Is your plan more than just the girls in bikinis?” Joker asks. 

Skull nods, “If that noble is only really lookin’ at girls in bikinis, he’s gonna have to talk to ya. Between you four, he’s gotta be into one of ya. And if he gets handsy, just shout and we’ll go full battle mode.” 

Queen had to admit; it wasn’t the worst idea she had ever heard. It wasn’t by any means good because it meant exposing herself physically, but if they could get a letter of recommendation that way without having to fight, they’d save themselves the time, supplies, and energy put into fighting harder shadows. They expected him to also have a shadow as the politician did. 

“I’ll do it if all four of us agree to participate,” Queen says. It takes some pulling and mild convincing, but eventually, all four agree to wear the bathing suits. They take turns listing their sizes, trusting Skull with whatever they were going to wear. Skull is the first one out of the room, basically leading the way to the changing room. There were a few changing booths, all unoccupied. He looks around, seeing a small closet in the corner of the room. He excitedly runs over to pick out the bikinis. 

Upon entering, he sees an entire rack of different sizes. He looks down at the sheet, hoping he can find something in everyone’s sizes. He finds a dotted one-piece for Noir, taking it off from its hanger. Going further in, he finds a frilly pink two-piece in Oracle’s size. She’d likely hate it, but it didn’t look like there was much else in that small of a size. Next to it, he spots a red string bathing suit. It looked small, but he figured it would fit Panther. It was likely he’d be most interested in her. Knowing that, the red one was the best option for her. 

He spends a little extra time looking for Queen’s. It wasn’t because he couldn’t find her size, because he found a few that would fit well. No, he wanted something she’d feel comfortable with, but that he also liked. Could he have gone with something like Panther’s? Probably. Would he still be dating her if he did? Probably not. He decides to go with a simple blue one with a frilly skirt. 

“Alright ladies, should be in everyone’s sizes,” Skull says coming out of the closet. He starts to pass it out to them and doesn’t even finish before he hears a protesting noise. 

“Ugh really? That creep is gonna have his eyes on me for sure!” Panther complains. 

“That’s literally the whole point.” Skull comments. She rolls her eyes before going into the changing room. 

“We’ll be outside by the pool,” Joker says, with Skull and Fox following closely behind. 

Queen looked down at hers. It’s not the worst thing he could have picked for her, but something about it just screamed Ryuji. She steps into her changing room, slipping off the suit. She had never actually taken it off before in the metaverse, but she was surprised how easy it was to do so. It was good to know actually… for reference, nothing else. She slips on the bottom and secures the top’s string around her neck. Walking out, Panther and Noir were already in their own suits. Noir seemed to be busy looking at some of the beach hats on the side, while Panther had an annoyed look on her face near the door. She understood Panther’s initial complaint now. 

“I’m going to kill him for this…” Panther mutters, her arms crossed around her breasts. 

“Yeah no kidding, figures he’d want to get a view,” Queen mutters under breath. She sees Panther perk up. 

“Oh my god please tell me you made it official!” Panther’s tone changes from her earlier disgruntled self to overly eager. 

“I mean, we’ve only really gone on one date but -”

“AH! I’m so happy for you two! The four of us have to go on a double date after we’re done with Shido.” Double date? Last time she did that, she was pretending Joker was her boyfriend. Granted, that was a whole different scenario and she was a very different person back then. 

“S-sure, I’d have to talk to him about it, but -”

“IM GONNA KILL HIM!” Oracle cries out, aggressively pulling back the curtain. Noir returns with a beach hat in a style similar to her black one. With the four together, they walk out the door, seeing the boys talking amongst themselves. When they see them arrive, Skull and Fox both turn slightly red. 

“I was hoping we weren’t going to go with such a simple plan…” Queen sighs. “Are we really going to do this?” She felt butterflies in her stomach. She didn’t want to be fawned over by a creepy nobleman, especially when she was so exposed. 

“Ryuji’ll love it.” Joker says, wrapping his arm around Skull’s shoulder. 

“No! It’s for our plan! Don’t say shit like that with a straight face,” Skulls shouts, a little more loudly than he should. He lowers his voice, “If you guys don’t hurry, he’s gonna go off somewhere.” 

The girls walk ahead, and Skull spends an extra second checking Queen out before turning his attention back to Joker and Fox, who seemed to have his eyes everywhere… except for Oracle. 

“Alright dude, you gotta talk to her,” Skull says, breaking Fox out of his trance. 

“I don’t know what you possibly mean.” Fox objected. Joker stood up straighter, turning to bring his attention from the girls to them. 

“Yeah Skull, what do you mean?” 

“Shit, I forgot she’s like a sister to ya. Our man here is crushing hard on our resident neet.” Skull bluntly says. Joker’s eyes widen, and before Fox can protest, Joker laughs. 

“I’m joking, I knew a long time ago he was crushing on her.” He laughs, before bringing a finger to his face. “Although if you hurt her-”

“I would never hurt Futaba -er, Oracle.” Fox shuts down Joker’s tease. Skull was surprised how fast he was to shut down any implication of hurting Oracle. It was sweet, actually. 

“Have you spoken to her about this yet?” Joker asks. 

Fox shakes his head, “No. As I was explaining to Skull and Queen earlier, Noir attempted to aid my cause with some literature and media but I don’t think it did anything besides provide insight on how others communicate with love.” 

“I think she gave you those so you could figure out your own way of telling her, not so you can copy it.” 

“I understand.” Fox places his fingers on his chin, a thoughtful look across his face. “That does make sense. I’m considering showing her something I’ve created, but I’m worried about her reaction.”

“Just use ya art,” Skull chimes in.

“Yes but I wonder if I can do more than that...” Fox pulls his hand back and snaps his fingers, “I got it.” 

“THIS GUY’S A MOLESTER!” Panther voice comes through. The three of them spring into action, any traces of their earlier conversation erased from their mind. It was more important to make sure their team was safe than discuss Fox’s love life. 

“How dare you set me up like this!” The nobleman yells, the black shadows already appearing around him. The girls are able to easily change back into their outfits, ready for the fight. 

It overcomes him, changing him into a stingray with flashing blue eyes and an elaborate crown. He’s quick to attempt to brainwash the team, thankfully failing most of the time. It takes a few rounds this time to establish a weakness before Joker uses an electric move, downing the stingray. Following the all-out attack, Noir is pulled back and Skull excitedly moves into the front line. He didn’t hear a lot of what the guy said, but seeing him hold onto Panther like that hit a nerve. They had known each other the longest, and even though they argued a lot, he still cared for her. 

The nobleman’s electric weakness is profusely taken advantage of, similar to the previous fight. The only real issue was having Panther brainwashed and attacking the team a handful of times. Once the final blow is dealt, the man transforms back to his original form, now knocked onto the ground. He pulls a letter of introduction, seemingly out of thin air. He hands over to Panther. 

“Two down, three to go. Now tell us: Were you asking Shido for mental shutdowns too?” She presses him for an answer. 

“Contrary to popular belief, gaining wealth solely off of lineage is no longer as lucrative as before. I begged to be placed on this ship, and I asked him to conduct mental shutdowns in exchange for introducing him to wealthy nobles.” He finally says. 

“So this series of introductions is taking place in reality as well, interesting…” Fox notes. 

“Alright, let’s go. We still have one more letter before the day is out.” Joker says. They all take one last look at the nobleman before moving forward. 

“Did you get a good view?” Skull hears Queen whisper in his ear. She had suddenly come up to him. 

"I-Uh-maybe," Skull stammers, caught off guard by her. The truth of the matter is that when he wasn't talking to the others, he was staring at her. He felt lucky to have her, and it was even better knowing that she actually felt the same.

"Good, at least you got something from it. It was embarrassing," She says, starting to walk around him. Skull didn't mean to make her feel bad, but he could hear it in her voice how awkward she felt. 

"Whoa back up, are you okay? I'm sorry, I don't want you thinkin' I did that because I just wanted to see ya in a bikini." Skull says, trying to keep up with her. 

"I know," Queen grabs onto her arm. It looked as though she was trying to hide herself. "It doesn't make it any better. That guy was an absolute creep." 

"He was… but at least he's done. You okay though?" Skull's tone softens. 

"Yeah, I'm just happy it's over," Queen takes a breath, smiling as she lets it out. "You're on the main team so you gotta put in the leg work." She laughs, pushing him slightly to go off ahead.

At the next available safe room, Queen and Panther are swapped, placing Queen in the main team. She looks around at the team, just her eyes generally wandering. When she stops at Skull, he sticks his tongue out at her. 

Unfortunately for them, it meant dealing with being mice again. It was the first time Queen and Skull had to deal with turning into the little creatures, and neither of them enjoyed it at all. It meant becoming small rodents and crawling through tight spaces. It wasn't so nice to be on the main team when you're a mouse for half of it. They could barely even talk to one another out of fear of being stepped on by a shadow. It takes some time, but they make it through and enter the entertainment center. 

The slot machines lineup along the wall. Now fully human, Queen still felt like a mouse. The machines reminded her of Sae's palace, something she'd hope to avoid in Shido's palace. She should have expected as much, knowing it was an entertainment center. However, her body was quick to trigger a flight reaction, with her nausea and sweating kicking in. For once, she feels like she's going to pass out from the anxiety. She could've sworn she heard the sound of casino chips and Sae's laughter blast in her ears. 

"Skull," Queen murmurs. He doesn't hear her at first, until her body hits the wall behind her. "Skull!"

"Hm?" He looks away from the slot machines, seeing Queen in her state. Her face was pale, and she was mildly hunched over. He remembers their conversation about her PTSD, and makes the connection between the slot machines. "Shit, Joker!" Their leader runs over, seeing Queen in her current state. 

"I-I..." Queen squeaks out. Skull immediately pulls her from the wall. 

"I'm taking her to the safe room, get us when you beat the guy," Skull says. Joker nods, calling Noir and Fox onto the main team. Fortunately, they just found a safe room, so the trek isn't long for Skull, but for Queen, it feels like her world is slowing down. She didn't feel like she was in Shido's palace; she was back trapped in Sae's. 

They shuffle into the room, Queen stumbling over to the couch along the corner. Her knees buckle right before, and she kneels right in front of the couch. Her arms and head fall against the sofa. While not intentional, the position was surprisingly comfortable. Still, she was struggling to get her breathing under control. She just kept feeling like she was back in the palace -

Disappointment…  
Useless…  
Brat...

"Shit Makoto what's going on?" Skull closes the doors, running over and crouching next to her. 

"I feel… I feel like I'm at Sae's palace." Queen says between breaths, her voice projected downwards to the ground. She had to get a grip, she couldn't let this ruin the momentum she was building here, but it only seemed like this palace was getting worse and worse. 

"I-I'm sorry," He rubs her back, trying to console her. After a few minutes, she opens her eyes. She slowly moves to sit properly on the couch, taking in the scenery. It was unbearably tacky. She hated all the gold accents, and how it just screamed cruise ship. But it was Shido's palace, not Sae's. She adjusts her footing, bringing one leg up to her chest, letting the other hang off. Her head sits on her knee.

"I didn't think something like slot machines would trigger me like that." Queen says, finally able to get out a sentence without feeling like she's going to pass out. 

"What did it feel like?" He asks. He changes his position to sit on the floor, keeping his eyes on her. 

"It's like… I got transported back to her palace. I wasn't here anymore," Queen sees out the window, looking at the ocean and Tokyo skyline outside. It seemed to be stuck in a permanent sunset, since the sky hadn’t changed since they entered the palace. As horrible as the palace theme was, it was still a beautiful sight she might not experience again in her life. 

"That bad huh? Shit… I wish I could somethin', I can't do nothin' while you're like that." Skull comments. All he could do while she was hunched over was rub her back. He wasn't even sure if it did anything, but she didn't say to stop. 

"You touching me was helpful. It helped to remind me I wasn't alone, or in the palace. I've never had an experience like that, where it's so short but so intense. Thank you for being here with me," 

"Yeah, you got it," Skull smiles. "But damn, I think a lot about that day. I dunno if I ever really told ya that. As shitty as that day was, it meant a lot to me." 

Queen moves forward, bringing her full attention back to Skull. "What do you mean?" 

Skull stands back up, pacing around the room as he talks. "I had kinda been crushing on you for a bit before then, but that experience just made it real. I realized it wasn't just some crush, like I actually wanted to be ya, dating, be your boyfriend, shit like that. I-I know it ain't what you wanna hear, that one of the worst days of your life was a good one for me, but it's true. I probably woulda had the same idea later on, but seeing ya get yourself back up like that, planning everything even when you're down… damn, it was amazing. I-I'm just ramblin' at this point, but I'm glad I was with ya that day." 

His rambling left a lot for her to think about. Yes, it was odd for Queen to consider the experience good in any way, however, hearing Skull talk about it from his perspective providing unique insight. It was a bad experience and she would never want to relive it again, but he saw her for her worth that day. 

"So what you're saying is you realized you really liked me because of that experience? I wish I could properly remember it now," She smiles as she tries to lighten the mood. 

"I mean, I could just tell ya everything that happened. Not now, another time. When we can be just us." Skull responds. 

"By the way, have I complimented your success recently in maintaining your composure? It came to mind just now. I thought you were going to lash out on the politician earlier, but you kept it fairly cool for you." 

"Heh, yeahhhh," Skull scratches the back of his neck, other hand on his hip. "Trust me, I didn't like the dude, but I didn't wanna eff it up." 

Queen laughs. She was starting to feel like herself again, and as a result, reconsiders his short speech. They had yet to formally label themselves, but did he consider himself her boyfriend? It was an interesting idea, and she found herself excited over it. They had essentially everything else, why not just make it official? 

But that would mean she was his girlfriend? That made her even happier.

"You did fine, don't worry. Um, Ryuji?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Do you consider yourself my boyfriend?" 

Skull stops his pacing, his hand frozen on one of the chairs. He thinks back to his rambling. _Shit, I said that…_ He had somewhat considered himself her boyfriend, but they hadn't had that talk yet. Skull knew he had a knack for talking before thinking, and that one definitely slipped out.

"Uhh…W-what makes ya ask that?" 

"You let it slip during your rambling.”

"Ah, yeah.." He felt like he was about to lose it all, but he wanted to fight for it, "I mean, I do, I wanna be your boyfriend, like officially. I wanna take ya on real dates, keep trying out shit the other ain't done before, introduce you to my Ma one day-"

"You don't have to defend yourself. If this is your way of asking me to formally be your girlfriend, I fully accept." 

"Phew," Skull lets out a breath, his hand on his chest. "I didn't know where I was goin' with that. I just wanted to tell ya that I like this, whatever this is," He points back and forth between him and Queen, "enough to make it legit."

Queen slowly stands up, still a little worried from the dizziness of earlier. It's easier than she expects, and after walking the distance to Skull, it's no longer a concern. She comes up and hugs him tightly. 

"It's always been real, even when you were scared it wasn't." 

They hear a knock on the door, and Noir sticks her head through. 

"Hello? How is Queen doing? We just finished getting the third letter, and if it is alright with you, we'd all like to come in to debrief." Noir says with a full smile on her face. Queen thinks Noir may have played a major role in getting the third letter of introduction, but she would have to catch her later to ask the details. 

"Yes, I'm fine now." Queen pulls away from Skull. Noir pushed the door open, and the rest of the group starts to file in. Queen and Skull sit right where they were just now, listening to the few details about the third shadow. 

"Are you alright, Queen? We were all scared you got sick." Joker asked, his face concerned. 

She nods, "Yes I've recovered. I'll need to avoid that part of the palace in the future." 

"Understandable. Thank you Skull for staying behind with her. Alright team, let's talk a little about next time before we go…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I think this is the longest chapter in the entire story? almost 7k (!!) words.


	26. Heads Will Roll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday :) Another long chapter, not quite as long as the last one though.   
> Also, shameless self-promotion: This week is Persona Rarepair week, and so I'll be posting a few Ryukoto stories this week to celebrate it so keep an eye out for some one-shots :)

“H-hi, I’d like to make an appointment with Dr. Maruki. I was wondering if I could make an appointment for the 12th of December? What slots do you have available after 3pm?” Makoto speaks on the phone in the living room. She nods her head, listening to the voice on the phone. Haru is across from her, passing a pen and paper over to her. “Yes, I can do 4:30pm. Is the address the same as the one listed online… okay perfect, thank you so much.” 

Makoto hangs up the phone and jots down the details. After putting it off in part to school and Phantom Thief issues, she was finally able to make a therapy appointment with a clear mind. It was a relief for her to know she could likely talk to someone who could help her through her issues. After the most recent scare at Shido’s palace, she knew it wasn’t going to go away. She was grateful Ryuji was there, but he can’t help her through every single attack she has. 

“Ah Mako-chan! I’m so excited for you!” Haru stands up, grabbing her book bag from the hook on the wall. “I know it’s difficult because you can’t speak of your direct experience with it, but this can really benefit you.” 

“Yeah I know,” Makoto folds up the paper, writing ‘Therapy’ on it before placing it in the middle of the table. She reaches for her own bag placed next to her. “I’m hoping to at least find a good coping mechanism. But for now, we have bigger problems at hand, we should head out.” 

“Of course!” The two friends start their descent down, planning to meet at the Diet building. They weren’t in any real rush to leave since their home wasn’t too far from the building. In fact, they were able to walk and meet their friends within 10 minutes, from the interior door to the fences of the building. 

“Did you speak to him before he left Shujin? Akira seemed to really like him, and I know Ann and Ryuji both went a few times,” Makoto asks Haru. 

Haru shakes her head. “No, but he asked the first day I returned to school if I was interested. I strongly considered it around the time of my father’s passing but I never came around to it. I think with time it will pass more quickly. Changing Sugimura’s heart and removing myself from the engagement was another factor in healing, so when I had the time again, I didn’t think I needed to speak to a therapist.” 

“I see… I’m happy to see you’re recovering. I know it’s not easy to lose your father, trust me.” Makoto sadly recalls her own father passing away a few years ago. He was the only parental figure she had in her life; her mother had passed away when Makoto was very young, too young to remember anything from that time. In retrospect, Haru didn’t exactly have a mother in her life either. It was weird to think about how the two of them became close friends with eerily similar parental backgrounds. 

“This seems like a very heavy discussion before going into a palace.” Haru chuckled, “Maybe we should move into a lighter topic for the last few minutes.” In the distance, she could see Futaba’s orange hair and two tall dark-haired boys Makoto assumed were Yusuke and Akira. 

“Agreed. How is your English essay coming along? It seems like all the third-years were given the same assignment.” 

“I finished a draft last night, but I don’t feel too confident about it. I was planning on having Ann look over it for grammatical structure. How about you?” 

“I’m almost done, I need to rewrite my introduction but it should be done ahead of -” 

“SHUT UP!” Makoto hears Futaba yell. Now that they were close enough to hear the others, their conversation was lost. Makoto sees a blushing Futaba, angrily poking her finger into Akira’s chest. “I didn’t make fun of you when you and Ann -”

“Can we not talk about that in front of everyone?” A nervous Akira spluttered his response. 

“Then quit it, or your secret gets out to everyone!” 

Makoto spotted Ann and Ryuji walking in the distance. With the last of them nearly here, Makoto was ready to get into the palace, partially to avoid whatever bickering she had walked into. She had her own ideas on what the bickering could have come from, but with all the dirt Futaba seemingly had on everyone, she made a mental note to ask Yusuke about it later on. 

“Alright, now that everyone is here, we can head on in. As we all know, today’s plan is fairly simple,” Akira pulls Futaba’s hand away from his chest. “Futaba will talk to the IT president. If necessary, we’ll step in. The cleaner is still a mystery, so unfortunately we’ll be going in blind.” 

“Why not send Yusuke to make a mess? That’ll bring the cleaner out!” Futaba jokes.

“Somehow that sounds like a better plan than Ryuji convincing the girls to dress in swimsuits,” Yusuke comments. 

“Hey! It worked didn’t it?” Ryuji interjects. As much as the bickering annoyed her at times, it was mostly harmless. It was moments like this that reminded her how lucky she was to have friends. 

“Let’s just go in, come on,” Akira waves his phone. The world around Makoto goes from a bright sunny day in Tokyo to the familiar shaking of Shido’s ship. The sun was in its same position, never setting as long as the ship valiantly sailed. 

Thanks to the previous trip, the team was able to go directly to the safe room they last encountered prior. For Queen, this meant trouble. The last safe room they encountered was at the top of the entertainment hall, meaning she would have no choice but to pass through. She had to come up with a plan with the short time they had in this room. Skull sits in one of the chairs, carefully flinging his bat back and forth to avoid hitting anything. 

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Queen leans down to ask in his ear. “I need you to be my eyes when we go through the entertainment hall. I’m hoping covering my ears and not seeing anything will be enough to avoid a repeat.” 

“Yeah, course.” He agrees. As the team starts to leave the room, Skull wraps his arm around her shoulder. 

“Thank you…”

She brings her hands to her ears, trying to use her fingers to block out the noise. Not seeing the machines helped, but she could still hear the sound of casino machines. She tries to focus everything else around her. Skull’s arm slightly trembling. The sound of Oracle humming. Panther’s heels hitting the marble flooring. Shido’s repetitive political messages. There was plenty for her to focus on, but it didn’t stop her from feeling anxious. It feels like an eternity was fit into two minutes. The noise starts to fade, and she hears a heavy door close behind her. The sounds from the casino machine 

“Rise’n’ shine, Queen,” Skull pulls his arm back. Queen’s eyes open, her eyes adjusting back to the intense lights of the hallway. When they adjust, she sees her team looking at her. Right, she never did explain why she felt sick when they entered, or why she had to go in with her eyes closed through the small area. 

“It reminds me too much of my sister’s palace.” She quietly clarifies. “It was too overwhelming last time, I should be fine for the rest of this trip.”

“If you feel sick again-” Joker starts, but Queen cuts him off. 

“I won’t. We should go, we have a lot of ground to cover.” Queen remarks. 

Little did she know how right she was. This latest maze of hallways was the most confusing yet, requiring even standby to contribute to help everyone get out faster. Worst of all, they were back to being mice. No one wanted to be a mouse, except for Noir who seemed to enjoy the idea of a little mouse wearing her hat and mask. When the team successfully makes it through, they’re able to find the information they need to enter the IT president’s room. They now knew exactly where he was, but they couldn’t go in through the front door. 

Instead, they find a side deck and climb along the walls of the ship. Queen was generally indifferent when it came to heights in the metaverse, especially since her first palace was a bank in the sky. This was a little different; even she felt her stomach drop at the idea of falling straight into the water. They weren’t walking on anything secure, meaning if something were to fall, they’d likely have a Phantom Thief overboard. Lucky for her, none of this happens. The team makes it across the various balconies, quietly landing in front of the IT president’s tall windows. He seemed to be in a meeting with two other women, standing on both sides of him. 

“Alrighty, I’m gonna go.” Oracle cheerfully says. 

“Just yell if things get dangerous in there, ok?” Panther asks. Oracle salutes the team before walking in. Fox was the first to be glued to the window, hiding in a spot where the curtain could block his body from view. Queen looked over his shoulder, seeing Oracle hold a conversation with the president. She’s seen nodding before he waves off the two women. Oracle pulls out her laptop, and they return to their conversation. 

“Cute isn’t she?” Queen playfully says to Fox. She wasn’t looking for a specific answer, more a confirmation from her earlier suspicion. He sighs, the heat from his breath slightly fogging the glass. 

“I may have taken some suggestions in expressing my feelings...and it may have worked,” Fox explains.

“Ah shit, congrats!” Skull punches the air. “We told ya she was into you,” 

“Yes I’m aware. May we please change the subject? Unlike some of you, I’m not interested in talking about my private affairs with everyone.” Fox keeps his eyes on Oracle. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? Queen and I ain’t really been saying to anyone it was official-official,” Skull questions. Queen shoots him a glare, “B-but we also ain't denying it.” 

Fox looks back at Queen, “Wait you and Ryuji are dating?” 

“G-guys!” Oracle yells from inside.

They run inside, ready to take him down. The IT president transforms into a fairy-like prince with butterfly wings. The two other women turn into the same fairy with a long green dress. On the starting line, Noir and Queen are excited to see their abilities easily knock down the fairy shadows. The two green fairies are significantly weaker than the IT president and are killed quickly.

With that, Queen could feel the energy coming from Noir next to her. 

"I'll punish you!" She hears Noir shout, adjusting her hat slightly. That was one of the phrases they had established to start a team attack. They hadn't had a real chance to use it in this palace, so it was nice to do it all over again. 

"Hey, you're really strong right now!" Queen nudges Noir, and they split up. Noir runs directly up the shadow, getting as close as possible to him. 

"Pardon me!" She waves her axe around in his face, confusing him. Queen comes in from the side and punches him, followed by a flawless roundhouse kick from Noir. Queen sees the chair on the side and lifts it up. She was surprised how light it is, but slams the chair against the shadow. The breaks into several pieces, different debris going around the room. 

"Noir!"

"Leave it to me. Ready, set-" The two almost fly from one end of the room to the end, landing back with fists against the shadow. The IT president screams, changing back into his original form. God did Queen miss doing team attacks, they were always a nice highlight. 

Oracle rips the fourth letter of recommendation from the IT president's hand, holding it up like a trophy. She hands it over to Joker before grilling the president on any horrible things he's done to help Shido. When he confesses about his hand in the cognitive research, Oracle looks at him as if he had killed a puppy in front of her. 

"You… er! We're gonna make Shido pay for all of this!" Oracle stomps away, back out to the balcony. Queen couldn't blame her anger; when the only connection she still had with her mother was the research that was essentially erased or locked away by corrupted adults, there was a good reason to be mad. 

Alas, there wasn't much else they could do with the IT president, and the rest of the team followed suit. On their way back down, Oracle gets a significant reading. When they trace it to an air duct, they squeeze through the right space. It's not the best situation, but it leads them right to the cleaner. Although if someone had told Skull that Fox would've drawn a tattoo for a yakuza boss, he wouldn't have believed him. 

And yet, less than ten minutes later, Fox was impressing the cleaner with his interpretation of a phoenix. It was a nice drawing, but as a tattoo, Skull wasn't that interested. Somehow, the cleaner is smitten with it. Apparently enough to ask him to become his private tattoo artist. 

"I decline," Fox says. Skull sees the cleaner's darken. It reminded him of when the politician from earlier realized Queen was blackmailing him. However, he felt way more threatened by the Yakuza than some random government guy. 

"Ya cocky bastard, no letter for you then," the cleaner shouts. 

Fox simple shrugs. "We'll just take it by force then. By the way, you're more a feral pigeon than a phoenix." 

The cleaner shouts and his men run off. It's the first time where the henchmen shadows are actively afraid of the main cognition, and for a good reason. When he transforms, he becomes a large muscular creature with a long iron staff. On both ends of the staff are sharp metal blades. 

This fight proves worthy of their final letter. 

On the main team, Queen isn't able to point out a weakness, even after cycling through all their magical abilities. Anytime the cleaner attacked, he hit hard. No one was weak to his curse abilities, but his one-shot kill was terrifying to all of them. At one point, Queen watches him successfully use the ability against Panther. She's pulled away by Noir, and Fox steps in her place. They go back and forth, wearing him down with the abilities they did have until finally, he gives in. It's a somewhat hollow victory, as they were all low on health and sp needed to successfully perform actions. 

Joker takes the final letter of introduction, and the team cheers loudly. 

"We're way ahead of schedule, even with having trouble with the cleaner. We should all go home and rest. Our next step is to figure out the calling card." Joker announces, ignoring any protesting noises from the cleaner. 

"Oh put a sock in it, will ya?" Skull shouts at the cleaner. As they walked away, something was poking at Queen in the back of her mind. She felt like she was forgetting something very important. They had all the letters, and essentially a direct path to the treasure as soon as they made it back down. What else could she be missing… 

_Akechi._

_Where is Akechi…_

"Joker, we still don't know what happened with Akechi. We should ask around and see if we can find more information." Queen slips out, causing the whole team to stop in the middle of a large boiler room. 

"You won't have to look very far." 

That voice… there was no way he could be here. Then again, it made sense to Queen. His connection to Shido, the politician's comment, his hinting during their last conversation. He was likely out for blood. 

"Crow." Joker stares him down. Crow looked as clean as always and yet… the empty and off look was there in his face. If anything, it looked worse to Queen now than it did the first time around. 

"I have to admit, I'm very impressed you lived. Even more impressed your teammates didn't rat you out when they came to see me. But more so, I applaud you thinking you'll get any further than here. I have no intention of letting any of you leave here alive." Crow’s voice is harsh and raspy, as though he had been overworking his vocal cords.

Queen had said he was off, but Skull didn't realize it was this bad. He looked like he was going to drop at any moment. Unless that was his thing now? He couldn't keep up. Either way, he was angry to see him again. A fight was coming, and Skull was ready to fully kick his ass. 

"You're fighting the wrong people," Joker steps forward, holding his arms out. "We can help you. Shido, he got to you too didn't he?" Joker could speak more of Shido than anyone else on the team. Shockingly, Crow maniacally laughs, taking a single step back. 

"Please, you don't know the first thing about Shido. Try being raised by an absolute monster like him after your mother died. All I've been is his bastard child. Do you know how hard I've been working to be loved and adored? Repair my shitty outlook because of his stupid ass? I'm a fucking adored detective now and it's my job to bring down assholes like you."

"Akechi you have to get a grip-" Queen shouts. 

"Shut up! You especially can't say shit about me. You wasted my time!" 

Well… that hurt. _Wasted his time… no, not now, please…_

"We can help you, please just listen!" Joker keeps taking small steps towards Crow. However, Crow wasn't focused on Joker. He was too busy staring down Queen to notice him. 

"We're not gonna get through to him, we need to fight, Joker," Skull worriedly shouts, not taking his eyes off of Queen. He could see her knees tremble slightly, even if she was standing up tall. He couldn't imagine what was going through her mind right now. But if Joker didn't start a fight, Skull was going to if he said one more thing. 

Crow's smile fades into a shock when a psychic attack barely misses his face. Skull looks directly at Noir. She had a serious look, but instead of Milady behind her, there's a larger persona behind her. With intricate details, this could only be Astarte

"I'd like to kindly ask you to shut the fuck up," Noir is clear and concise, but it's too late for words. Crow summons Robin Hood, starting the fight. Joker runs back to join his team, tapping Makoto's shoulder. 

"Fall back, I'm putting Panther back in." He says quickly. She was nervous from his taunts, but she was pissed and ready for a fight. 

"Joker let me-"

"Just trust me. I don't like how he's acting and I get a feeling I'll need you later so stand down," His reiterates. Queen groans, running back to join Mona and Skull in the back. She hated this. She didn't want to fight him after all this, but with how she was being yelled at, it only fueled her to want to kick his ass. 

"You okay?" Skull asks. What else was he supposed to do? She was pissed, and from the looks of it, she didn't want to be back here with them. 

"Peachy." She says with an annoyed tone. She didn’t want to fight later, but she also was trying to calm herself.

"We can help back here, let's watch how he fights." Mona offers. She rolls her eyes, even though she knew the cat was right. Watching him fight now was no different than watching him before. His move set was the same, the magic abilities were still varying between curse, almighty, and bless. There was really nothing worth addressing. 

Until he brings in back-up. 

Crow's launches into a battle cry, summoning two other shadows. The shadows develop a red and black cloud around their heads. These particular shadows weren't new to Queen, but it's not long before they attack her teammates. They weren't supposed to be this strong. 

"He's made them psychotic. That's how he caused the shutdowns." Queen and Mona knew he was behind them, but couldn't figure out the details behind it. While he has them attack, he goes off into a speech about himself. 

"...that's when I discovered the cognitive world.." 

But she sees a familiar red shadow appear around his feet. It flickers for a moment. 

"...suddenly I could be whoever I wanted…" 

It appears again, but this time, she sees a slight change in his outfit. It went from white to a rich black. 

"...but you all had to get in my way…" 

It hits his face, a black mask replacing his red one. Queen gasps, making the connection between Kaneshiro's mention of a black mask to the other information they had. Everything they knew about him was wrong. He was severely holding back his own power while he was on their side. 

"This is bad, he clearly has something up his sleeve," Mona says. 

"...he has two personas." Her thoughts are said aloud, and it sounded crazy, but it made sense. That's how he could go back and forth between Robin Hood and whatever the black mask brought on. She watches Noir land a hard hit against, and he falls to his knees. The standby team moves up, Queen going straight to Joker. 

"Joker he's going to -" 

"AHHHH! I'm gonna fucking kill every single one of you!" Crow shouts. The black outfit is more apparent, replacing his white look. Crow grabs onto his face as if he were removing his mask again for the first time. The red shadows around the others appear on him. He flashes an intense grin when he removes his hand and the black mask is in full display. A new frightening persona stands where Robin Hood once did: Loki. 

"The bastard made himself go psychotic," Skull yells. Queen, still standing next to Joker, watches him analyze all his options in his head. No one was doing well. Even if her, Skull, and Mona were pulled out of standby, they still needed sp. This wasn't going to be a fair fight. 

"Full switch now!" Joker shouts. A full switch was extremely rare. They had talked about it before in case of emergencies. 

A psychotic persona user was the biggest possible emergency. 

"Diiiiiiiie!" He shouts, going straight for Joker. Skull jumps in front, guarding the physical attack. Queen immediately heals him, hoping it would be one of the few times she'd have to do that. Unfortunately, it becomes a trend. If Mona wasn't healing, she was. It was crucial for Skull and Joker to stay alive as they were the only ones able to hit. 

All of his attacks are stronger, the heat of the fight showing on their faces. Queen barely had time to even remember how he yelled at her because of how stressed he had them. No one is able to find an opportunity for a team attack; anytime Queen considers it, she sees Ryuji nearly pass out or is too focused on keeping herself alive. 

He uses brave blade, getting a second chance but after downing Mona. He goes straight for Joker, but Skull again jumps in front of him to block the hit. Queen sees his feet slide back, indicating he barely withstood the hit himself. He couldn't afford a third block like that. Their medicine did wonders for the body, but bruises and cuts still appeared in reality. 

"This is bad, this is bad," Queen mutters while healing Skull. 

The fight comes to a bitter conclusion when Crow finally falls to the ground. His persona disappears, and the mask is returned to his face. 

"Hey," Skull is the first to speak, "You ready to call it quits?" Skull couldn't forgive him for 

"Y-yeah." Crow falls onto his back with eyes looking at the ceiling of the boiler room. 

"Then come with us. We can't forgive you for everything you've done, but we're not going to leave you here to rot." Joker says, sympathy coming through. 

Crow chuckles, "You're all so lucky to have people who truly care about you. I couldn't even do that with my own father or Makoto." He sits up, his eyes looking back towards the other side of the room and his back to the team. "Makoto… I-"

"Seems like there's a problem to deal with here." Another Akechi walks into the room, a loaded gun in his left hand. Queen felt a chill go down her spine. Of course, Shido had a cognitive Akechi here, they worked too closely together to not do that. The cognitive Akechi stops right up to the real Crow and places the gun against his forehead. 

"Wow, that's just like Shido to get rid of me. How do I keep myself alive then?" Crow asks. The cognitive looks up to the team. 

"Kill them. Stand up, and shoot every single one. Save their leader for last." He responds. Crow thinks on it before standing back up. Crow pulls out his gun, pointing it directly at Skull. Queen felt her stop at the thought, but something told her to trust him. He wasn't going to shoot - 

BAM! 

Skull closes his eyes and winces, expecting a gunshot to the head. When he opens his eyes, there's a giant metal wall. Everyone was on this side, except for Crow. 

"You couldn't even do this right, shame." The cognitive Akechi says from the other side. Skull thought for sure Crow was going to kill him and instead, he shot something else? How else would this wall have dropped? He runs up to the wall and bangs on it. 

"Akechi what the hell are ya doin'?" Skull shouts, his fists pounding against the metal wall. 

"Don't get confused. I didn't do it for you, Sakamoto." _Course he wouldn't, I bet the idiot is still in love with my girlfriend._

"I don't give a fuck, we’re not letting ya-!" 

"Makoto and Akira: I'm sorry I tried to kill you two. I-"

There are multiple rounds of gunshots, followed by a deafening silence. Skull feels the cold of the wall against his fists resting against it. He rests his forehead against the wall, tightly closing his eyes. 

"...his signal is gone. He's dead." Oracle doesn't look up from her data. 

Queen couldn't believe what happened. It seemed like for a moment, he may have truly felt remorse for his actions. It felt like nothing was answered, and she just had more questions. What was she supposed to do without ever really knowing him? She couldn't forgive him for all the trouble he had brought into her life, but she would've listened to him. 

"We should get going," Queen quietly comments. There was nothing else anyone could say. She couldn't even understand Skull's reaction. He had to watch the girl he liked go on a date with someone he hated, have his relationship sabotaged, and had a gun pointed to his head. 

"Yeah, it's a long walk back." Joker's voice is sad as well. The team quietly makes its way to the beginning of the ship. 

When prompted, they provide the letters of introduction. Taking the elevator down, they enter a large theater with a Darmura curtain. It was fitting for him to have a stage-like place for his treasure considering how often he was put in this situation. 

"Let's go home." 

\--

"Makoto, Ryuji, I need to talk to you two about something a little heavy," Akira asks. The team had gone to decompress at LeBlanc after an unexpectedly grueling visit. Ann had opted to leave the earliest, feeling tired despite the coffee. Haru was next for the same reason. Futaba was already fast asleep, lightly snoring with her face against the table. Yusuke, who claimed he wasn't tired, was resting on her shoulder. Even Sojiro had opted not to come in after seeing the looks on the team's faces, knowing that whatever experience they had, they needed the space for it. 

The only ones awake at this point were Makoto, Ryuji, and Akira. 

"Dude, I dunno, is this really the best time?" Ryuji protested, maintaining an icepack on his right shoulder. Akechi really did pack a punch, and while he didn't have any visible bruising, his muscles were sore. At Makoto's request, he was icing where he felt the most tender. 

Makoto, on the other hand, stayed quiet. With her mind elsewhere, she wasn’t thinking of anything specific but wanted to think of nothing after getting the overload of information at the palace. 

"It's about what happened in the entertainment center when Makoto looked like she was going to pass out." Ryuji's mouth is agape, and Makoto pulls herself out to bring her full attention to Akira. They hadn't had that talk with anyone together before. 

"What do you want to know?" Makoto ponders aloud. 

"It's been a puzzle I've been trying to solve. You're both fairly quiet about your experience in Sae's palace. I thought it was because you were worried about us getting mad, but after seeing Makoto like that, I knew it had to go deeper. I didn't want to push until after we sent the calling card, now that I know we won't be back in most of the ship. But I feel like I have to ask… Makoto, what's going on?" 

Akira was a smart kid. Makoto wished he would use his brain a little more in school, but using it here was better than not using it at all. It felt like a lifetime ago when she admitted to Akira's suspicions right before the battle. 

"I may have developed some serious trauma after our visit. I've been having nightmares, symptoms of depression, and worst of all I can't remember a portion of the trip." 

Akira furrows his eyebrows. "What do you mean you can't remember? Do you remember, Ryuji?" 

"Yeah, I remember it. But she thinks her brain is blockin' the actual memory of it." He answers. 

"It sounds like PTSD." 

"...It might be. But I have an appointment with a therapist the day after we plan on sending the calling card. I know I won't get any details immediately, but at least I'll get insight on what's happening to me." Makoto bites her quivering lip, hoping to hold back the emotions she felt. "I felt so useless at that stupid entertainment center. I didn't even realize that was a trigger until I couldn't breathe." 

"Maybe we should stop here," Ryuji offers. 

"No, it's okay. Akira can you please get me a glass of water?" Makoto asks. He nods, shuffling out of the booth seat and going over to the kitchen. Ryuji grabs her hand. 

"You want me to talk about it if he asks what happened in the palace?" He whispers to her. Makoto opens her mouth to speak, only to shut it again. She wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to hear it at all. It would help in therapy for her to know what truly happened, but who knows how much worse it'd make the nightmares. 

"Here, I got one for you too." Akira returns bringing them both small glasses of water. Makoto doesn't drink yet, but she wraps her hand around the cold glass. 

"Why'd ya bring it up anyway? You just checkin' in on her or you looking for something else?" Ryuji asked his friend. Akira tapped on the table briefly before flattening his palm on it. 

"Both honestly. It seems like you're doing better compared to a few days ago, right?" She nods. "Which is great. But I also want to know what happened in that palace that was so horrible that neither of you talked about it and she has PTSD." 

"It's not confirmed yet please stop saying that," Makoto asked. Here it comes, the moment of truth. She looks at Ryuji with sad eyes, and he kisses her hand before letting go of it. 

"It ain't a quick story. Maybe we should wake up Futaba and Yusuke, send em’ home," Ryuji notes, his eyes staring at the weird couple. He was happy for them, especially since they both seemed to be so open immediately about it. Akira turns his upper body to talk to them. 

"Futaba, Yusuke touched your action figures again." Futaba jerks up, now awake, causing Yusuke to unexpectedly move the opposite direction. He tries to grip the table but fails, instead of falling headfirst towards the floor. 

"What the hell Akira? He's too busy falling to do anything." Futaba shouts at him. 

"Sorry, just wanted to wake you guys up so you can head home." 

"There was likely a better way of doing that…" Yusuke mumbles. He pulls himself back up, wiping the dust from the floor off of his pants and shirt. "We should go, Futuba. Akira's right, it's embarrassing enough I fell asleep in that position." 

Futaba leaves the booth, "You saying you won't ever sleep with me again then?"

"I-I uh-" Their banter continues as they leave. With only the three of them in the store, Makoto knew there was no beating around the bush anymore. She did want Akira to know about it, but she was also holding herself back from the knowledge. But if she wanted to get better, she needed the truth. 

"So here's what happened…"


	27. New Perspective

Makoto: Do you have plans tonight?  
Ryuji: Not really, what’s up?  
Makoto: Would you like to beat up some shadows in Mementos with me?  
Ryuji: OMW

Makoto puts her phone away. She was already out shopping for supplies for Shido’s fight, but it didn’t feel right to her to go back home immediately. She already had the supplies, so why not feel gratified from destroying some weak shadows? 

Oddly enough after the long conversation with Akira, she felt more motivated to take down Shido. While he couldn’t understand the situation himself, he sympathized with everything they had gone through. For Makoto, it was an opportunity to talk about it with someone else on the team besides Haru and Ryuji. 

More so, it gave her a chance to write down everything that actually happened. 

The entire time Ryuji recounted the true events, she took down detailed notes. At one point, it became hard for her to properly write down everything. Her hand shook, her eyes welled up, and she felt like a blank canvas. She asked him to take over while he explained Sae’s interactions with Makoto, eventually asking for it back while he recounted the fight. She was amazed at how accurate Ryuji’s earlier comment was. Back at the Cultural Festival, he mentioned how without her, they wouldn’t have survived. 

Makoto stands by Central Station, placing the bags next to her feet. She pulls out the notebook she used to write everything down and flips through the pages. The notebook was previously exclusive to analyzing shadow weakness, but eventually became a diary of sorts. Not in the traditional sense, but it was a way for her to write down her experiences in the palaces. She was running out pages, only having a few more blank ones before she’d need a new one. Surprisingly, it felt appropriate that she was running out pages. 

“Yo Makoto!” She hears Ryuji shout in the distance with a big smile. Looking up from the book, she closes it and puts it back into her bag. She picks up the shopping bags with one hand, using the other to enter the metaverse. She watches him transform into Skull, her own transformation taking place

“Let me stash this before we head down,” By the steps, she places most of the bags behind a column. She reorganizes the bags and places some extra items into a separate bag. She takes this with her, jumping down to the all-too-familiar railways. Skull is already there waiting for her.   
Removing her mask, she unleashes Anat. She wasn’t sure the exact moment Anat was awakened, but when she first fought after Sae’s palace, she was Anat. The only explanation she had was talking with her sister after Akira returned. Anat was different from Johanna; she had an attitude she only occasionally saw in Johanna, but she was far stronger than her old bike. While Anat was usually standing during battles, she could also turn into a similar bike as Johanna when prompted. 

“You used to her yet? It took me a few weeks to get used to Seiten Taisei.” Skull asks, running his fingers along the side of Anat. 

“I’m almost there. I felt comfortable fighting with her, and the connection only became stronger the more I used her. There’s still a slight distance, but I think riding her today will close it.” Queen sits on Anat and places her hands on the handlebars. It felt like Johanna had received an upgrade with better materials. 

“She’s still a sick bike.” Skull sits and wraps his arms around her waist. Unlike the first ride, he doesn’t hesitate to press his chest against her back. “Perfect someone as badass as you.”

“You just wanna see how fast she goes.”

“...Maybe. But come on, don’t tell me you ain’t thinkin’ about it either.” Skull moves his arms up to her shoulders, hanging his hands right above her chest. “She probably goes harder than Johanna too. Kinda like someone I know.” 

Queen laughs, “If I remember right, you’re the one who enjoys being the bottom in bed.” 

Skull brings his arms back to her waist, grabbing tightly. “...Maybe,” he murmurs. Over the past few weeks, they’ve learned about each other’s interests. Skull learned she was far more in action films than he realized, Queen learned he liked to read Shōnen and magic mangas in his free time. While these were discovered during different dates they had, each date seemed to end in a similar manner: learning about their bodies. Skull was far more submissive than Queen expected, but it’s not like she minded. When they started having sex again, Skull had bought a twelve-pack, not expecting to already be over halfway through it already. 

“How about we run over some shadows, and then maybe we can try a new type of ride?” Queen flirted. 

“Shit that’s hot, let’s goooo!” Queen revs the engine, and Anat roars to life. She presses down on the gas, and they were off. This high up, the shadows didn’t even try to attack them anymore. They all ran away, avoiding the two as much as possible. Nonetheless, Queen enjoyed the chase. It was satisfying to chase down a weak shadow running from her, and absolutely destroy them by just crashing into them. 

The entire time she was going down, Queen felt like she was really getting to know Anat. All it really took was to ride her through the halls of Mementos. She was significantly faster, but easier to drive. It felt like she was flying through, with the wind pressure hitting her more than she thought. 

They ride for about an hour before Queen stops at a safe room. The adrenaline was starting to wane, so her body ached from sitting in the same position for too long. They get off, sitting in the small waiting booth. Anat disappears and Queen slumps down on the plastic seat. 

"That was awesome! I thought Anat was gonna be a buzzkill when I saw her stand but damn she's just as crazy." Skull cheers, excitedly sitting across from her. He looks at her tired face, "Hey you good?" 

"Hm?" Queen adjusts herself and sits back up. "Yeah, it took more out of me than I expected. I think we should turn around from here after a short break." 

"Damn, I didn't even get to beat up any shadows. Anat really just kills 'em." He complains. Right, she had invited him to beat shadows, but all he had done was ride with her. He likely had his own adrenaline he needed to get out. Eh, she could handle one more floor. 

"If you'd like, we can go down one more floor, walk through it and you can kill some shadows there. I think I can handle one more floor before fully resting," Queen offers. 

"Yeah, let's go!" They go for the stairs, entering the next floor after the safe room. The shadows here didn't run away from them, but they were comparable to what they saw in Kaneshiro's or early in Futaba's palace. It's not an immediate win, but Skull and Queen can hold their own against the shadows. 

They scour the floor for all the shadows. When they turn into a new hallway in the area, it's a dead end. There's a small platform with a stamping section, all part of Jose's game for them. It had been collected long before, but it was a nice place for them to relax before they walked back to the safe room. 

"It's been a long time since we've been here hasn't it?" Queen notes, directing to the stamp platform ahead of them.

"Yeah, time flies don't it? I think you just got your persona when we got here." Skull responds. They sit next to each other on the edge of the platform, their feet dangling below. 

"I was still getting used to this power. I thought you were just another trouble making student back then. Granted in a way, I was right," She chuckles. 

"Hey!" 

"I joined you didn't I? I'm not exactly a law abiding citizen when I'm stealing hearts." 

"That's true… but back to the whole 'trouble maker' shit, I think my teachers are really thinkin' I'm more than just whatever Kamoshida told 'em I was. Like I'm actually doing good shit instead of skipping and getting D's. They kinda got an expectation now. One of ‘em asked me the other day if I'm thinkin' of college or not. To be honest, I didn't even think it was an option for me until she asked me." 

It had been awhile since they talked about school. Skull was maintaining his grades without Queen. They've also learned that it's not easy to study by themselves, especially when they're home alone. But from the sound of it, Queen was sure he was considering his future. 

"Are you considering college? I'd be more than happy to help," Queen states. 

"I dunno yet, I don't think I'm that good at anything that they do at college. Like I can't major in cooking or reading manga." 

"No you can't major in manga, but you could always go to culinary school. I've heard the programs are shorter than the traditional experience. You have the potential to become a great chef. I've seen it in the few times you invite me over and you cook." 

"Damn, I didn't think of that," Skull is pensive. He really thought he was going to end up working at some little retail shop near home for the rest of his life. But if he could get an education and a real job, then he could do more with himself. Really, that's all he wanted now. He was tired of having that reputation, and while it was easier now, it hasn't fully gone away. The teachers he doesn't have still stare at him with pity or mild disgust because they don't know he's doing better than ever before. 

"Thankfully you still have a whole year to decide. Meanwhile, I'm still not entirely sure what to do," Queen had spent the entire year studying for her college entrance exams. She didn't doubt her ability to get into any of the schools she was hoping for, but her major was a big factor. 

"You got the exams for the Japan schools, what about the American colleges?" 

Queen sighs, "I'm still waiting to hear back from most of them but I was accepted into one in California-" 

"Oh shit that's awesome!" Skull hugs her, but over his shoulder, Queen makes an upset face. She pushes him slightly to release herself. 

"I'm going to reject the offer." 

"Why? I thought you said the school's out there were good." 

Queen looks at the breathing walls of Mementos. "I'm afraid if I go to a foreign country and I'm unsure of what I'd like to do. I’d prefer not to be so far from home if I change my mind on what I’d like to study. I know I'd like to follow my father's footsteps and join the police force, but my sister wants me to follow her lead and study law."

"Okay, but your dad was a cop right? If that’s what ya wanna do, then why care what your sister says?" 

"I suppose I’m worried what she’ll think of me," Queen thinks aloud. She knew her sister's expectations, but she also wanted to continue being her own person. Anytime she saw her sister working on cases, she understood the concepts with ease. If she were to pursue law, she would thrive. That didn't mean she enjoyed it. 

"You gotta let it go. No matter what you do, not everyone's gonna be happy, maybe including me. But if it makes ya happy, then who cares?" 

"I'll consider a criminal justice major. Although if I want to be like my father some day, I'll likely have to start intensely working out again so I’m ready for the field." 

"Hey, better for me right? We work out together, and then we do another big calorie burner." 

Queen smirk, jumping off the platform. She stands in front of Skull, placing her hands on his thighs. "That's a great way to change the subject back into something we can both happily partake in." 

She moves forward, lightly kissing his neck. He spreads his legs more and pulls her in. Queen uses one hand to stabilize herself, the other moves to add some friction against his penis. 

"Are you tryin' to fuck in Mementos? Shit I would've brought a condom," He moans into her shoulder. 

"I did say I was buying supplies. That included a small pack of condoms." She giggles, taking her hand off of him to reach for the plastic bag behind him. Inside are a few staples they often took to Mementos, but Queen only pulls out a small 3-pack of condoms. 

"Damn, this is why you're the smart one in the relationship," He slowly drags his hands up her body, stopping at her shoulders. He tries to fidget with different parts of her outfit before realizing he had no idea how to get it off her. She laughs, stopping her own motions to take off her suit. He watches closely, taking notes of how she does it so he can do the same thing in the future. Hopefully. 

Queen unlaces the front, and unbuttons the top strap. She reaches behind her and undoes the back of her suit. Tossing the top layer aside, wears the black and blue skin-tight jumpsuit seen in the rest of her costume. Skull starts to remove his scarf, but as he's about to put aside, she takes it from him. 

"Even before we were dating, I've always found your ascot to be the best part of your look," She throws it around her own neck.

"I should buy one," He bites his lip, going back to remove his coat. 

With essentially nothing but a tank top underneath, he feels the coldness of Mementos. He pulls her back in lightly using the scarf. He normally didn't like being the one in full control, but with his ascot around her neck, he felt another side of him come out. His hands reach for her face, kissing her passionately. While they kiss, she goes for the useless belt on his jeans. The sound of metal hitting the leather is brief, and she goes for the button on his jeans. 

His hands move from her face to her neck, his fingers searching for the zipper. When he finds it, he pulls it down as far as it can go. They pull away for a moment for her to take off the top section of the jumpsuit, leaving herself fully exposed to him. 

"Fuck we shoulda done this ages ago," He groans, reaching out to her. All he wanted was her right now, and with no distractions from the others, he could enjoy himself. 

Everything feels perfect, until they hear the sound of rattling chains. They pull apart, both of them frozen from the fear. It had been awhile since they heard the Reaper's chains in Mementos. The one time they sought him out a month ago ended in a mandatory escape. If the full team couldn't take him out, then the two were asking for a death wish by staying any longer. 

"Listen to me closely," Queen says seriously, "You're going to think about having your full outfit back on and snap. For some reason, it worked for us at Shido's palace. I'll summon Anat, and we're getting the hell out of here." 

"Y-yes ma'am." Skull opens his legs, letting her get out. She snaps, her full outfit returning. It takes Skull a moment to understand the concept, but by the time he gets it, Queen is already sitting on Anat. He jumps on, back in the same position as earlier. 

Queen was worried he was near the entrance and much to her dismay, the sound only intensified the closer they got. She makes a sharp turn, spotting the entrance straight ahead. Flooring the gas, she speeds down the hallways. Skull spends the time acting as a look out. As she passes by the last adjacent hall, he spots the Reaper. By the time he processed what he saw, they were already running up the stairs back to the safe room. 

"Holy shit that was close!" Skull says. He had no trouble running up the stairs, but Queen was a little out of breath. "You gotta pick up working out again to help your breathing." 

"I am working out!" Queen defends. "I'm out of breath because that was exhilarating. That was so reckless of us but that was so much fun." 

"Maybe we can try again next time, in an actual safe room?" He asks. 

"We could always pick it up tomorrow after we take down Shido." She goes up to give him a kiss before summoning Anat again. 

The ride back up was far more relaxing and calm than the ride down. It always was, especially since the shadows only grew weaker and weaker closer to the top. Once they reach the beginning of Mementos again, Queen grabs the stashed supplies and they leave the metaverse. 

Ryuji walks Makoto over to her train platform. Since she moved in with Haru, she was taking a different line to the other side of Tokyo. While it didn't do anything to directly interrupt their relationship, Ryuji was still sad he couldn't sit with her on the train anymore. Even if he joined her, it was too out of the way for him. Checking the time, Makoto notes that a train had just passed by, meaning they had about fifteen minutes before the next one came along. 

Makoto hears her phone go off. Looking at the caller ID, she's surprised Futaba is calling her. A million scenarios go through her head for why Futaba was calling her this late in the day. She answers the phone, and heads laughter coming from the other side. 

"Hey, how are you doing?" She hears Futaba say though laughs. Most of her scenarios disappear when she hears her laughter since it wasn't a serious conversation. 

"Hi, I'm well. I'm waiting for my train to take me home." She answers. Ryuji shrugs, confused as well as why she would call. As far as he knew, Makoto was closest to Haru, not so much Futaba. 

"Is Ryuji still there?" She asks. 

"How did you know… um, yes. Would you like me to put it on speaker?" Makoto asks. There's another laughter coming from the phone, but it's not Futaba's this time. 

"Oh my gosh YES!" 

Makoto makes the mistake of putting the phone on speaker. She hears what sounds like Yusuke talking as well, but she can't hear anything he says. 

"Hey, what's going on?" He questions. 

"PUT YOUR RADIOS ON MUTE NEXT TIME!" Futaba cackles on the phone. 

_What is she -_

_oh._

_Oh no._

"It seems you also forgot Futaba stashed random cameras around on permanent locations, including Jose's platforms. Might I add that you both have very well-built upper bodies." Yusuke finally comes close enough to confirm it's his voice. 

_OH NO._

Makoto turns bright red and takes the phone off speaker. Holding it to her ear, she quickly says, "Pleasedonttellanyonebye." She puts her phone on silent and hangs up. This day wasn't going how she had hoped. Instead of having a nice night killing shadows and having sex with her boyfriend, she was forced to run away to avoid certain doom and there's video evidence of her and Ryuji. “Oh god what do we do?”

"I got nothin', it was hot, and knowing her she'll delete it." Ryuji finally says. He wasn't as embarrassed as he probably should've been considering she had dirt on them. But then again, she clearly had something on Akira and Ann, and no one else had seen it so she has some morals. 

"Ryuji she's a bigger pervet than you are," She gasps, "Oh god they saw my breasts." 

"Ain't you girls seen each other's boobs by now? Especially with what happened at Shido's," 

Makoto shakes her head, “We were in changing rooms, I didn’t see anymore than you did.” She was very careful on who saw her body. Granted, Ryuji was a weird exception to her usual caution since they were all over each other even before they were really together. 

"Damn, I'm surprised it took this long. I saw Akira and Yusuke's dicks the one time we went to a bathhouse. Let me just say, size wise -" 

"Please don't tell me about their penises, I don't want to know." 

"You sure?" Ryuji jokes. 

Makoto thinks about it for a second. She had absolutely no intention of ever seeing Akira or Yusuke's penises, but from the one time Ann had talked about her experiences with Akira, it left her somewhat curious. 

"Fine, tell me." Ryuji gets closer to Makoto. 

"Yusuke, me, Akira. No one's really small, it's more like I'm worried for Futaba whenever they get there."

"Why does that make sense?" Makoto wonders. In a very bizarre way, it made sense Yusuke had the most to offer. Ryuji wasn't a bad size at all… and the fact that she even had to think about all of this was making her feel gross. 

"Dude's for the ego for it." There is a train horn coming deep from the tunnel. The two stand up from the bench. Makoto kisses Ryuji before she steps forward to wait for the train. When she takes her seat and looks out the window, she spots his goofy smile and wave. He doesn't walk away until the train starts to move forward, his eyes still on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a very fun chapter to write :D
> 
> ~~because we all need a bit of fluff and smut in our lives, and I gotta justify that M rating somehow lol~~


	28. A Moment Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~sorry for the first half, the second half might make it up, or not lol~~

Queen got used to palace rulers after she fought Wakaba. It was almost a routine at this point, and while she was afraid of Sae, she was able to hold her own until Akechi threw the second limelight.

Shido was not so simple. Of all the palace rulers Queen had seen, Shido was the worst. Anything before this point was irrelevant.

There were no weaknesses to pinpoint, or any weak spots on him to take advantage of. If anything, Shido was the one analyzing them. His first transformation took advantage of Rage, and when the team started out with two healers, they were essentially useless. Queen found herself enraged at one point, only trying to physically attack his beast. She took a beating but recovered in time to heal herself. When she calmed down, she knew he was starting to weaken, but it was only for the first phase.

Physical attacks were now helpful again, but only Fox was out at the time. Queen was swapped out for Skull, who was able to do far more damage against him then she physically would have. The switch did little for their defenses, as Joker constantly had at least one party member downed because of their weaknesses. He had every possible magical ability at his disposal, and it showed. He was determined, picking up slack where unfortunately the rest of the team couldn’t.

Upon Shido turning into a pyramid, all Joker focused on was charging up his attacking teammates. The pyramid had no weaknesses, but it didn’t show an obvious resistance or nullification to their attacks either. Health items were abundant, but they were starting to run low on sp items. With Joker charging up the team, Fox and Skull were able to damage the pyramid, along with Mona bringing their health back up as necessary.

When the pyramid falls apart, Shido steps out with his arms crossed. He curses the masses out and wastes no time in powering himself up. The entire fight, all of the items they used up, and the exhaustion they felt, had only come from his abuse of the public. They were only really beginning to fight Shido, bringing fear into their hearts.

Literally.

Queen watched as Mona became terrified of fighting or healing. The cat was stuck in its position until Joker had a chance to help him. He was sent back, replaced with Panther instead. At the same time, Noir was brought out in place of Fox, who had been fighting since the very beginning. When Fox stumbled towards Queen, she watched his knees buckle and collapse from exhaustion. In the real world, he would be fine; it was just exhaustion after all, but that didn’t matter

Even without having fear inflicted on her, Queen was still scared watching her teammates out there. She didn’t understand how Joker could withstand everything and fight for so long. Granted, Fox spent a good portion of his fight doing physical attacks, which were far more intensive than the consistent magic Joker used. She watches Skull begin to waver, and it seems like Joker did too because he’s moved to the back for Queen to return again. Her heart was racing, and as she passed a tired Skull, he reached and squeezed her hand before she went off. Shido was nearly down, but she knew it wasn’t over yet.

When it seems like he’s about to stay down, he shrieks, powering himself up again. Queen was confident this had to be it. At least, she hoped this was it. He had so many abilities now, she couldn’t keep up with the changes. With Diamond Dust now under his belt, Panther had to be removed after she was first downed. It was too much for them to keep up with, resulting in a tired Mona coming back to the front line. Although, when he used Thunder Reign, it was clear no one was safe. Queen was counting her blessings that Shido didn’t seem to have a specific attack for her and Noir. He had ones that impacted the whole party, but not as specific as the ones she saw used against Panther and Mona.

The worst for her is Mudoon. Queen doesn’t realize she’s brought down by it until she’s revived by Mona. It's the only move she fails to dodge, and it takes an insane amount of sp to continuously bring them back from the dead during battle. Even Queen could see her own sp finally drop low, forced to reconsider how she wanted to attack. Towards the end, she has no choice but to use her gun and physical attacks to do something against him. They’re basically crawling across the finish line, but after what feels like hours, Shido finally transforms back his normal self. The team approaches him, looking at the sad man that held his head up high mere moments ago. A steering wheel comes down above Shido.

“I acknowledge… that I incriminated you on false charges.” Shido wearily says.

Joker walks up to him, “Atone for your sins; return back to your physical self and confess all your crimes.”

“Ah, I see…” He responds. A brilliant light flashed from above and a ship's steering wheel comes down. Shido looks at it as though it's the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. “But I must… steer this country. If I don’t… who will? I-I-”

Shido grabs onto his chest, falls to his knees, and evaporates. Queen gasps at the realization: Shido had likely died in the real world. But how could anyone have known he was going to lose his heart? Then again, he was a man with many people behind him. There was no doubt he did something to cause his own death. Whether or not he would come back was left to be seen.

“We need to grab the treasure and move now!” Mona yells. He jumps up to grab the wheel, and the team runs back through the doors. The layout doesn’t feel familiar, but they have to go through the hallways. Turning onto a new corridor, there’s water rapidly rising, a clear sign of a sinking ship. In the distance, Queen hears explosions from different rooms on the other side of the ship.

“Holy shit this is bad,” Joker screams. “We’re going to have to find a way to the docks, there might be a lifeboat.” They go down the other corridor, finding a door to an outside hallway. They were at a slant, getting closer and closer to the cold waters below them.

“We’re gonna die!” Oracle freaks out, “I don’t know how to swim!”

“Over there, a lifeboat,” Queen points to a single white boat at the top of the ship. There was a small lever near it, likely the one they needed to reach in order to pull it down. It felt so far away, “Oh god it’s so far, we’re not gonna make it.”

Skull looks back, seeing half of the ship already underwater. He eyes the lever. He knows with all the training he’s done since he joined the Phantom Thieves, he could make it to the lever and get the boat down in time to save everyone else. Whether or not he would make it was a whole other story. But after everything he had been through, all the trouble he caused for everyone, the least he could do was ensure everyone was okay and made it out alive

_Makoto… I’m sorry._

“I got this,” Skull says simply. He hastily grabs Queen, kissing her for what he hoped wouldn’t be the last time. “Hang tight, I’ll grab the boat.” He jumps over the edge and starts to run towards the boat.

“Ryuji wait!” Queen yells, grabbing onto the railing. She reaches out, but barely misses his shoulder.

It was too late. He was too out of reach for him to hear her pleas, too busy only thinking about reaching the lever and releasing the boat. As he ran to the boat, he thought about his life as a Phantom Thief. All the things he had accomplished and the friends he was able to make. He never thought he was worth anything before them, but now? He felt like he was invincible. There was the potential of a future ahead of him if he survived, one with a girl he could see himself being with for a long time. All he needed to do was hold on, pull the lever, and try to live.

Skull jumps, the heat from the nearby explosion slightly hitting him. It wasn’t anything significant, but he could feel how intense the blast was. Grabbing onto any metal he could to help him up, he pushes his legs further. There’s a slight pain in his leg, but it’s nothing compared to the adrenaline he had in him. Jumping, he grabs onto the lever. He watches as the gears turn, and the boat drops down to the water. He tilts his neck back and breathes a sigh of relief. They could get onto the boat and they were going to live. He looks back down and sees Queen helping the others onto the boat. He gives a confident wink and a thumbs up. This definitely made up for his earlier fumbles, at least to him it did.

The boat turns on, and they start to drive towards him, Queen’s eyes solely on him. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world. He couldn’t wait until -

_BOOM_

Skull feels a heat come from below him, and before he can react, he sees a bright white light and -

\--

Queen watched the explosion happen underneath him. Her heart sank to her stomach, the smoke from the explosion hitting her eyes. She shields eyes, looking back up the first chance she gets. There’s only one scenario in her mind this time, and it comes true when she sees he’s no longer holding onto the lever. The rest of the ship explodes, the debris falling into the water. When the smoke fully clears, there’s no sign of Skull.

_No… NO!_

“RYUJI!” Queen cries out, her body bringing her towards the water. She feels hands holding her back, and unfortunately for her, it’s enough to hold her back. She was in disbelief, her mind going into a state of shock. There was too much fire and heavy items falling everywhere for him to realistically survive. In her mind, he was dead already. In her heart, she was holding onto the hope that maybe he was alive. But right now, her mind was the one in charge.

When they return to reality, Makoto drops down to her knees, her fists hitting the ground. She should have stopped him when she had the chance. They could have found another way to get the boat, and he could have lived.

“He didn’t… make it out…” Haru says quietly. She goes down to console a crying Makoto. All she could do was cry, her emotions overwhelming her. After everything they had been through, she lost him. Makoto hears crying sounds come from her friends as well. He was one of the first members of their group, a valuable member in his own way. He couldn’t help with fully understanding the nuances of the metaverse, but he helped them understand their own powers. Makoto was in utter denial, her heart taking over for her mind. But to her, it was more than just losing a teammate, even more than just losing a friend.

She lost Ryuji .

"It can't be," Makoto says through her tears.

"Makoto…" Akira starts.

"He's not dead, he can't be," She cries. Unexpectedly, there's a sharp cry. It's not far away, but it's familiar to Makoto. Her head shoots up, trying to register where the noise had come from. The cry repeats itself.

"That's Ryuji," Akira says calmly. It seemed like there was hope after all. Makoto hastily stands up and runs toward the shouts. He's not far, but she spots his legs around the corner. Ryuji, he lived! She finds him on a patch of grass in front of a nearby building. She goes up to him, thinking how lucky it was that he was alive. When she sees him up close, it's worse than she imagines.

Ryuji lays with his back against the grass, his eyes tightly shut. He only groans, unable to move. Parts of his sweater and pants are burned off, red peeling skin peeking underneath. His face has a cut along the right side of his face, starting at the edge of his forehead going near his ear. Makoto could see clear pain in his face as he continued to moan and groan in pain.

"Oh my god, Ryuji!" Makoto shouts. Her hands tremble as she takes out her phone to call an ambulance. She blanks out when she calls, but the others join her shortly. They surround him, with Akira pulling out a bottle of water. Yusuke and Ann help him sit up. As he moves, his groans get louder and more aggressive. Akira helps Ryuji open his mouth and pours some of the water in.

Makoto hangs up after the call, looking sadly at her boyfriend. He was alive, but with how he looked, she was terrified it would be a short-lived victory. This wasn’t the outcome she had expected. His eyes flutter open and go back and forth to look at his friends.

“That was close right?” Ryuji croaks out, the pain coming through in his voice. He laughs lightly, a weak smile on his face. His eyes focus on a crying Makoto. “What’s this? Your cryin’ face is so not cute.” She can’t help but return the smile. Even when he was in such a bad state, his jokes didn’t stop.

He closes his eyes again, trying to catch his breath. There were likely more injuries they couldn't see. Brushing, internal bleeding, broken bones? She couldn't imagine what he was feeling.

"That was really brave, Ryuji. We only escaped because of you." Akira speaks again. Makoto could see the slight red in his eyes. He had to be holding back his own tears.

"I did good?" He slowly asks. Makoto reaches out for his hand, pulling back right before she gets too close. His hands looked fine, but she didn't know his condition. In the distance, the sound of ambulance sirens grows closer.

"Yeah Ryuji, you did good," Akira answers.

When the sound starts to become deafening, Ann and Haru get up to meet them in the street. They wave down the car, a few paramedics piling out. Two of them drag over a stretcher to bring him along. They carefully lift him, and he winces again in pain. A lone paramedic walks up to the group.

"We need someone to come with him," She asks. Without hesitating, Makoto volunteers. The paramedic nods, gesturing her to follow.

"I'll update everyone, I promise," Makoto reassures her friends before following. She watches Ryuji enter the back of the van, and she steps in. One of the paramedics points to a seat for her to take, where she stays out. In the back, the workers start to look at his vitals. While they check him, Makoto helps with general questions. His name, address, next of kin. She lies about how he got the burns: their group of friends had been firing off fireworks and it backfired. Not the best excuse, but for the burns he sustained, it was believable enough.

As she answers the questions, she realizes it'll likely fall on her to break the news to his mother.

Ryuji, understanding the severity of the situation, asks one of the workers to take his phone out of his pocket and to pass it to her. He tells her she knows the password, but she had never actually used his phone before. When she turns the phone screen on, she's surprised to see the photo Akechi had taken of them as his wallpaper. It wasn't a bad photo, but it meant enough for him to keep it there.

It takes two tries, but she nails the password. 1112, the day and month of their first real date. It was almost exactly a month ago. She would never consider that date their anniversary specifically, but that day was an important one for their relationship: an awkward first time losing their virginities. They'd only really shared their feelings for each other the week before the date, and yet they were both already crazy for each other. Nothing had changed from November to now.

It takes a moment for her to find his mother's phone number, and she enters it into her own phone. She decides to wait until he's gone to make the call. From the little she knew about his mother and his relationship with her, it wouldn't be an easy conversation.

When they arrive at the hospital, Ryuji is immediately wheeled away. She gets one good look at him before he disappears, hopefully to get good news. She wanted, no, needed, his condition to be better than it looked. Makoto couldn't lose him, not this soon, not ever.

Her hands shake as she goes to call his mother. It rings a few times before he hears a soft spoken woman on the other side.

"Hi, Ms. Sakamoto?" Makoto asks. She fakes a professional sounding voice.

"This is her, who am I speaking with?" Who was she speaking with? Does she introduce herself as his friend, girlfriend, classmate? What was going to be the easiest to explain right now?

"My name is Makoto Nijima. I'm… one of Ryuji's friends. He's in the hospital, he's sustained burns from an accident. He was just wheeled away, but I'm going to see him as soon as I can."

"Oh my goodness," She says. She talks to someone else, her hand appears to cover the speaker. When she returns, she answers, "Which hospital are you at? I'm going right now."

Makoto provides the details to his mother. When they hang up, she starts to cry again. She didn't know how long she'd be stuck in this waiting room. When she tries to ask a nurse, she gives little information on his condition or a timeframe on when she can see him again. She takes this extra time to instead update the others.

Makoto: We're at the hospital. I'm not sure where Ryuji is, they told me to wait in the waiting area until he's officially settled into a room. I've called his mother, I believe she'll be here soon as well.  
Yusuke: Thank you for the update  
Futaba: UGH this sucks! Why couldn't we use the meds Akira gets from the weird doctor?  
Akira: Those would have worked if we saw him in the palace after the explosion. Otherwise, it's only really strong painkillers. But keep us updated, Makoto. Thanks for going with him.  
Ann: He'll be fine! I know he’ll pull through.

She's surprised to see Haru not message in the group chat, only to receive a phone call from her moments later. She gets up out of her seat and moves near the door to avoid bothering the few others waiting.

_"Mako-chan!"_

"Hey Haru…"

_"Goodness you sound so sad."_

"Can you blame me? My boyfriend has burns all over his body."

_"Of course not, that's why I called. I knew you would need someone to talk to, otherwise you'd drive yourself crazy."_

Makoto laughs, "You're starting to know me too well."

_"Well you are my best friend, and we live together. I might know you better than Ryuji does."_

"Okay but don't tell him that, let him think he knows everything. I hear boys love that."

Makoto sticks her head forward to look out the tall windows next to the door. She's not sure what Ryuji's mom would look like. She'd like to imagine she had the same blonde hair he did, but it would be odd for his mother to have dyed her hair as well. No one stands out.

_"I know I haven't been with the group as long as some of you, but I've seen a change in him since you two started dating. You bring out the best in him."_

"What makes you say that?"

_"He seems happier, almost like he has a future. I overheard him and Akira talking about college recently. College!"_

"Yeah we talked about it last night. I don't think he’ll pursue a traditional study, but he's definitely motivated to do more than simply graduate.”

She sees a woman fling the door open, going right up to the help desk. The woman was wearing a work uniform, with strands of black hair falling out of a mostly neat bun. Makoto has a feeling this was the woman she was waiting for.

"Haru," Makoto lowers her voice, her eyes on the woman, "I think Ryuji's mom just walked in. I'll talk to you later."

She hangs up, and stands behind the woman while she waits for her to finish. When she turns around, Makoto gets a better look at her face. She had a few lines around the edges of her eyes, but otherwise, she looked much younger than expected. She could see Ryuji's kind eyes in hers.

"I'm sorry to bother you, are you Sakamoto-san?" Makoto asks.

She's confused for a moment before she raises her eyebrows. "You're Nijima, yes?" Makoto nods, and his mother gives her a hug. It catches her by surprise. They'd just met, and she was already hugging her.

"I don't understand," Makoto awkwardly says. The two go and sit next to each other in an open row.

"My son is very important to me, and from the looks of it he's important to you as well."

If only you knew how much he matter to me.

"Yes, I volunteered to come with him in the ambulance, but he has other friends rooting for his recovery as well. I believe as soon as I text them that they can visit, you'll see them as well." His mother smiles.

"I haven't had a chance to see many of his friends, he's told me about many of them but I've only met Akira. He's like another son to me at this point." Makoto had only spoken Ryuji's mother for a short time, but she knew she liked her. She was already hardworking and clearly cared for her family, so friendly with Makoto already.

"Sakamoto?" The nurse at the front desk calls, "Ryuji Sakamoto is settled, you may follow me to his room."

"Come with me, we'll see him together," His mother says. Makoto follows down a cold hallway. She wasn't sure how long she was waiting in that room before his mother came, especially since they had such a short time together. The further they go, the more time Makoto has to worry about his condition. She passes by several rooms, each with different names attached to the outside. Finally, she sees his name on the door. The nurse knocks briefly, making sure it's safe to go in. She peeks her head inside before opening the door all the way.

There Ryuji was, in all his bandaged glory. A different nurse finishes wrapping a bandage around his arm, cutting and securing the ends. He almost looked like a mummy with all the white bandage on him. From the looks of it, he was fast asleep. The nurses leave the room, leaving the two of them with the doctor.

"Hi, I presume you're Ryuji Sakamoto's mother? Nice to meet you I'm Dr. lto. Quite the scare wasn't it?" The doctor speaks to his mother. Makoto slightly hides behind her, acting like a fly on the wall.

"Yes, what does he have? I was told he had burns?"

The doctor nods, "Yes, he sustained second degree burns along his arms and legs. The cut on his face is mostly superficial so that'll heal in a few days. Upon further inspection, we saw bruising along his ribs as well, but there appears to be no internal bruising. He'll be uncomfortable the next few weeks until it all passes. We’d like to keep him here for a few days just in case, but he will recover."

"Can we stay here with him?"

"Yes, I have other patients to see so please excuse me. If you need anything, use the nurse call and we'll be back over." The doctor is the next to leave the room.

Makoto rushes over to the side of the bed to get a better look at him. His lower body was underneath a light blanket, but she could see his upper body well. He had been changed into a hospital gown. The cut on his face was already looking better, although knowing him, she'd thought he'd like the idea of a cool scar on his face if it stuck around.

"Oh Ryuji…" His mother's voice is soft, nurturing. She runs her fingers through his hair, brushing back the strands of hair. "What exactly happened?"

Right, back to the lie. "We were lighting up fireworks. He got too close, and it hit him. I'm not sure about the bruising, that might be from the impact."

She laughs, "Sounds like him. I'm just happy he's okay." She settles into the chair next to the bed, across from Makoto. "How did you two meet by the way?"

Makoto would never tell her the truth. How else was she going to explain that she was investigating their group because of a connection to the Phantom Thieves? Even more so, because of their dealings with Kaneshiro's group? No, she had to keep lying.

"We're both students at Shujin. I started tutoring him-"

She gasps, "Oh you're her! I can't believe I didn't make the connection sooner. The name had slipped my mind but my goodness! I feel like I already know all about you and we've only met. I must thank you for everything you've done for him."

At least Makoto could sleep easy knowing Ryuji talked about her to his mother. For obvious reasons, Makoto couldn't really do the same with her sister until recently, but it seemed like he had been talking about her for awhile.

"Oh, I didn't realize he talked about me," She feigned surprise. Of course he would say something, he loved to talk. "I assume it hasn't been long."

"He mentioned getting tutored in June, but I swear he has been in love with you since September. I know I shouldn't be telling you this, but I don't think he'd admit it himself." Makoto could see where his chattiness came from.

Looking back, she wasn't sure what happened in September at first. Going through her mental calendar, she recalls the Hawaii trip was in the first half of the month. They spent the night talking to each other, and he'd given her his jacket to keep warm. He walked her home, called her cute. She had partially brushed it off as a nice gesture since not long after, she thought he was a playboy. But clearly it was more than him being nice.

"I didn't realize it went that far back," Makoto thinks aloud.

"I know this isn't the best way for us to meet, but I do know you're dating my son," Makoto opens her mouth to protest, but his mother raises her hand up, "It's okay, I know you probably said you were a friend because we hadn't met yet."

Makoto felt her body get warm. She was sure there was no blush on her cheeks, but she was nervous. "I-I'm sorry. I know these are less than ideal circumstances."

"He's going to be fine. Now that we know his condition, why don't we go down to the hospital cafeteria? I do want to speak with you, but I'd also like to let him rest without hearing us chatter on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon time:  
> It's really hard for me to believe that Ryuji would get out of the palace without a scratch, but I don't think he'd die from it ~~even though in my first play through I was ready to bawl over his death~~
> 
> Edit: 12/17 - small edits to formatting, Haru and Makoto's conversation should be formatted better, missed it in the upload originally.


	29. You Are In Love

Makoto and Ryuji’s mother enter a small cafeteria near the entrance of the hospital. There aren’t too many options, but they both settle on something small to fill their stomachs. Sitting near the windows, Makoto takes small bites out of her meal. She’s too nervous to do much more than that. While she was ecstatic to see Ryuji was okay, she was still worried about him. There was also meeting his mother in these circumstances. Ideally, she would have been invited over by Ryuji and met his mother there, perhaps over dinner. But reality doesn’t always work that way, especially when you live a double life as they did. 

Wait, what was she supposed to call his mother? She didn’t know her name and not addressing her in any way would be odd.

“How would you like me to address you by the way?” Makoto asks. His mother perks up from her meal. 

“I get called a lot of things, but you can call me Kiko.” She responds. Like mother like son, she seemed indifferent to the basics as well. 

“Kiko, is that your first name?” 

“Yup, never been much for the fancy titles,” Kiko takes a bite out of her meal. Kiko. Makoto had a name now, making her feel much better. It’d take some getting used to, but she could get used to it over time. She’d have to if she and Ryuji dated for a long time, which obviously Makoto was hoping for. 

“I see,” Makoto pauses. “Thank you for being very kind by the way. I was worried about meeting you for the first time and these circumstances intensified the feeling. After all, I haven’t given you any reason to be kind to me.” 

Kiko takes the last bite of her meal, setting the tray to the side. She rests her elbows on the table and laughs, “Uh, yeah you have. You got Ryuji to take school seriously, you’re dating him, and you’re a good person. This is the happiest I’ve seen him since he started hanging out with Akira.” 

The statements surprise Makoto. Then again, her surprise surprised herself. It was a weird feeling, but clearly confidence took time. She was able to get there with the Phantom Thieves, but she had to trust that sometimes strangers will think well of her before they meet her. Then again, how much of a stranger was Kiko if she seemed to know about her? 

“...thank you,” Makoto says, the only thing she’s really able to say without putting herself down. She could do it mentally, but she didn’t want to make that type of impression on his mother. 

“Now Ryuji has told me a lot about you, but I wanted to hear some of it from you. Are you okay at home? He mentioned that you moved out recently.”

“Oh, he did?” Makoto feigns surprise. _Of course_ he would mention that, it was a big part of her life recently, and it impacted him indirectly. His mother probably asked when his commute back home took longer than before. 

“Yeah, but he didn’t give a lot of details. I don’t want to poke my head in if you don't want to share, but if you need help with anything I’m here.” 

“It’s okay,” Makoto reassures. She felt like she could talk to Kiko about her problems, either because she reminded her of Ryuji, or Kiko already felt like the mother figure she never had. Unfortunately, she would need a lot of context. While Makoto wouldn’t share everything, she could share enough for her to understand. “It’s just my sister and me, our parents both passed away. She’s a prosecutor and we argued a lot for a few months. Eventually, she became very controlling, and a mutual friend of ours, Haru, had the space to take me in. We reconciled, but I decided to stay with Haru permanently. I think it’s been over a month now? We’ve adjusted well, and I was planning to move out for university anyway so it works out.”

Kiko’s eyes soften, “Oh I’m sorry about your sister, as well as your parents. But your friend sounds like she’s a keeper. You always need people like that in your life.”

Makoto thinks about the earlier call with Haru. She was always there for her, even when she wasn’t ready to open up. She’d have to thank her properly later. With Christmas around the corner, she could buy her something nice to thank her. Kiko’s phone dings and she reads the message on her phone. She rolls her eyes and picks up her tray. 

“I gotta go back to work. I told my boss I’d see Ryuji and head back. Do you need a ride back home?” She considers it for a moment before remembering she still had Ryuji’s phone

Makoto shakes her head, “I have to head back up and return Ryuji’s phone. He gave it to me so I could find your phone number and I forgot to return it.” 

“Wow, trusts you with his phone too? I knew it, he’s in love.” They stand up, placing their trays in the respective bin. Makoto walks Kiko over to the door. “If he wakes up while you’re there, can you tell him I’ll pass by tomorrow morning?” 

“Of course. Thank you again,” Makoto holds her hand out to shake. Kiko looks at it and takes it, but pulls her in for a hug instead. 

“Come on, you’re basically family now. Remember no fancy shit.” Kiko lets go and waves Makoto goodbye before heading off, Makoto walking back to the room. As short as their initial meeting was, Kiko had certainly given her a lot to think about. 

For one, Kiko was so quick to take her in. Yes, she knew some things about her, and she had to figure out what those things were over time. But she gave her a hug, offered her a ride home, and already asked her to call her by her first name. None of it felt fake or ingenuine. Even with her son in the hospital, she was so kind and lax about everything, almost the opposite of Ryuji whenever he got angry. Then again, she didn’t see Kiko lose her temper and hoped she never would. 

The other thing on her mind was how laid-back she was about how much he liked her, using the word love twice. Could she have been exaggerating? She could have. But Makoto saw love as something reserved for a long relationship. She couldn’t ever see herself loving Akechi when she went on that one date, but when it came to Ryuji, things were different. She couldn’t say for certain if she loved him or not yet, it was too soon to tell. But she knew the longer she stayed with him, the more certain she could be of her emotions. If he was in love with her, she knew he’d never tell. At least not yet Despite outward appearances, he was more submissive in their relationship. Neither of them minded it though. 

Makoto steps into Ryuji’s room. She tries her best to stay quiet, seeing he’s still asleep. When she places the phone on the small table next to his bed, the sound is louder than she expects. His eyes flutter open, and he turns to the noise. He looks like he processes what’s going on for a moment before his eyes look awake. 

“Makoto?” Ryuji says. She takes a sharp breath. 

“Hi, I just wanted to return your phone. I’m sorry for waking you up. I’ll let you sleep.” Makoto says softly, already turning her body away. 

“Wait,” She hears him say. Her back was already to him, and she looked over her shoulder. He had a lonely look to his face. “Stay, please.” 

Seeing him like that made it hard, but she couldn’t just leave him. Not when he asked her to stay. She pulls the chair Kiko had sat in earlier closer to him to sit. He seems to struggle, but he manages to pull his hand up and rest it on hers. His touch felt better now than it ever had before. 

“How do you feel?” Makoto asks. 

“Like shit,” He yawns, “They said it was better than they thought at first but pretty sure they jacked me full of meds.” 

“You needed it. I didn’t get the best look at your burns before we came, but from the little I saw, I’m not surprised.”

“I ain’t either.” He chuckles, “When they were puttin’ on the bandages, I saw it. But ya know what? It was worth it.” 

“Don’t say that you could have died,” Makoto chided. She couldn’t think of any reason for him to be okay with this reality. Him in a hospital bed, likely bedridden for the next few days. 

“Nah, can’t get rid of me that easily. It hurts, but the rest of you didn’t get hurt. If somethin’ happened to you or Akira or the others, I never woulda forgiven myself… Besides, not a bad way to go, dying in an explosion because of Phantom Thief shit.” 

She remembers the bruises on his chest when he seems to struggle to breathe. Talking must’ve hurt him, but here he was, chatting away as nothing had happened. She knew he had a point, but she couldn’t set aside the idea of him dying for them. He highly valued being a Phantom Thief, she’s known that since they first met, more when he and Morgana argued months ago. But she didn’t realize he valued it enough to risk his life. Granted, the combination of saving his team and his pride as a thief played a role in it. 

She couldn’t argue with the logic, not when he was firm on his stance. 

“Just please try not to do that again, it was hard enough thinking I had lost you for those few minutes. It was great seeing you lived, but god when I saw you laying on the grass there, I thought I was seeing your last moments.” Makoto sniffled. 

Ryuji sees the sadness and suffering in her face. Since the explosion, he hadn’t had a chance to really think about what happened. He remembered feeling the worst pain of his life, and using the last of his strength to get out of the palace. By the time he had gotten out, he felt the burns all over his body. It wasn’t like anything he’d ever felt when leaving a palace before, but he’d never left in such bad shape. Normally they healed up before they left so it never would’ve been this tough on their bodies. He didn’t even feel anything besides pain until he saw Makoto again. 

His physical pain hadn’t started to pass until the nurses and doctor helped him with his burns. They talked like he was going to die, but he didn’t have the energy at the time to talk back to them. It was only seeing her again that made him want to talk, and as a result, think about his decisions. He did still think it was worth it because everyone else made it out alive. Seeing everyone surrounding him earlier was the confirmation he needed. But as Makoto pointed out, there were darker repercussions. 

Ryuji could have suffered from more severe burns. He could’ve lost his hearing or broken bones in the fall. If the explosion were any closer, he could have died. Before he became a Phantom Thief, he might’ve not cared about dying. But after meeting Akira and fighting Kamoshida, his life had a purpose. He was able to help stop rotten adults from taking advantage of others and made friends along the way. He started dating Makoto, who liked him for everything he was. Everything he’d worked for over the past year would’ve been gone, and those close to him would’ve suffered the consequences of his actions. 

“You’re right, it’d suck if I were in your shoes.” Ryuji acknowledges. “I just… I dunno, I didn’t think I’d almost die doing that.” 

Makoto sighs, “I know you didn’t, you were trying to save the team. I’m sorry for getting upset. Let’s move on from it. We can talk hypotheticals but it won’t change what happened.” 

“Yeah…” He trails off, before he starts again, “Were you here earlier with my Ma? I thought I heard her but I was too tired to say anything?” 

“Oh you were awake?” Makoto bites her lip. It’s not like they were talking about anything serious, but she was hoping he was asleep through it. After all, she was awkward enough when Kiko confessed she knew they were dating. “She had to go back to work but she said she’d be back tomorrow. I don’t think she knew who I was at first until I told her.”

“Heh, no. Pretty sure she knew as soon as she saw ya. Just didn’t say it to embarrass ya.” His eyes drift down from her face to her body. Makoto is confused for a moment before looking down at herself. She was wearing black leggings, his sweater - OH. It was the sweater she’d gotten after they left Mementos when they had their first kiss. She had started wearing it after they started dating because it was comfortable and reminded her of him. With everything happening, she’d forgotten she was even wearing something of his, something his mother would recognize… 

“Well that’s embarrassing, why wouldn’t she say anything? She was already joking around with me.” 

“Dunno actually, but she likes ya and that’s all that matters to me.” Ryuji gives her a half-smile. He was sure they talked about other things in the cafeteria, but from the small bit he heard, his mother was already getting along with his girlfriend. It wouldn’t surprise him since he’d told his mother about her. How she was smart, kick-ass, caring. Anytime he talked about her, he saw his mom light up. He didn’t know if it was because Makoto was his first girlfriend or because she saw him happier with her. It didn’t matter, because his mom was happy. 

Makoto smiles at him, “Yeah, your mom was really nice. I could see where you get a lot of your personality.” 

“You just met her, wait until I’m better and she can crack the real jokes.” 

They both laugh. It would take some time, but he would get better. She was already feeling better about his condition just from talking to him. Letting go of her hand, she stands up and gets close to his face. Her hand on his cheek, she leans down to kiss him. Confused, it takes a second for him to kiss her back. He wanted to hold her tight, tell her that this wasn’t going to be forever. But he could barely move his arm without feeling some type of pain. It’s a short kiss, but it tells Ryuji everything he needs to know. They were going to get through this. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter is kind of an epilogue, kind of not?   
> I might also post it later this week instead of waiting for Monday. We'll see :)


	30. I Was Made For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uploaded early, I was too impatient to wait for Monday 🥺  
> Also I wanna dedicate this last chapter to the Ryukoto discord server because they're the absolute best.

Ryuji spends the next week in the hospital. While his burns are painful at times, it responds well to the medication. After a week, he finally sees a noticeable improvement; his burns heal faster than he expects them to. It still annoyed him to have the nurses coming in every so often to apply the same freezing cold cream a few times a day, but it was worth it in the end. 

It wasn’t as bad as he expected overall, especially with his friends coming to visit him every day. All of his friends couldn’t come to see him at the same time because they were too big of a group, but seeing them over the course of the first day raised his spirits. It was even better seeing Makoto and Akira come once a day. Makoto would bring his homework, much to his dismay, but it was still a great excuse to see her. Since Akira was still technically ‘dead’, she brought enough for the two of them. It reminded Ryuji of a simpler time, back when Makoto was really just his tutor and teammate. 

But with the three of them together, it was never just school work. The conversations were long and memorable. Some days it was simple: school was a little more boring without Akira and Ryuji causing chaos in the hallways. Some days it was more complex: The Phantom Thieves were waiting on Shido’s reaction and passed the time by completing the pile of Mementos missions they’d received after Sae’s palace. On the night before Ryuji was discharged, over a week after he was initially brought in, they had a heavier conversation. 

Shido had confessed, and nothing had come out of it. He was still highly respected in the city, and the consequences were starting to show themselves.

“We were talking about going into the depths of Mementos. We think whatever is happening with the public, could be solved by investigating what lurks down there.” Makoto says. With Ryuji missing in action, he was behind on everything going on in the world. He wasn’t watching any news channels while at the hospital (not like anyone could blame him with everything going on), but it meant he didn’t understand the current situation as well as they may have. 

“When are you guys going?” Ryuji asks. He was no longer lying in bed as often anymore. He sat up and moved around whenever he could. Not working out for over a week left him yearning for some type of movement.

“Saturday. With finals going on, I’m not making anyone go down there right now.” Akira responds. It looked like neither of them had slept much, which didn’t surprise him. Ryuji had been given an excuse for his finals, having to complete them when he returned to school fully. With the team agreeing on Saturday, that gave Ryuji days after he was discharged to make sure he could recover. He was pissed about Shido getting a pass and if going down to Mementos was going to save everyone, then he was in. 

“Wait, Christmas Eve?” 

Akira nods. “The public will be distracted, and we should be able to slip through Mementos without fighting too many shadows on the way.” Ryuji couldn’t argue with that logic. He saw what happened when it rained or when there was too much pollen; Mementos was a mess whenever the public was too. With the public keeping busy with the holiday, the shadows were going to keep their distance.

“I’m going,” He points at Makoto, “I know you probably don’t want me to go because I’m still healing and shit-” 

“Actually Ryuji, that’s why we’re here,” Makoto responds. “We want you to come with us.” 

Ryuji fist bumps the air. “Hell yeah! I can’t wait to kick some ass.” 

“Not so loud!” Makoto scolds. Ryuji makes a face before toning himself down. Akira grabs his belongings and heads for the door. 

“Where you going?” Ryuji asks. Akira eyes get wide, a slight pink crossing his face. What did he need to blush for? Unless… “Yo, is it Yoshizawa?” 

“Oh Ryuji, I forgot to tell you!” Makoto says excitedly. “They’re actually interacting at school. I’ve seen them holding hands and hugging in the hallways between classes.” 

“Only because she convinced me to start being a little more...open. Otherwise, I would’ve kept us a secret.” Ryuji couldn’t blame the guy. When Ann and he broke up, they didn’t talk for days. It was awkward enough just being around the two of them, and it’s not like either of them could simply stop being Phantom Thieves. It didn’t surprise him that he didn’t know about the recent development, and that Akira had kept it top secret. 

“Dude finally! Are you guys like official-official or just dating?” Ryuji smirks. 

“Would you look at the time?” Akira looks down at his wrist, where there’s no watch to look at. “It’s time for me to go. See you tomorrow!” Akira rushes out, a small gust of wind following behind him. One of these days, he was going to have to teach his friend how to just answer questions. For someone who seemed to get girls swooning over him so easily, something Ryuji was initially jealous of, he was so weird. 

“They’re very official but aren’t saying anything,” Makoto whispers to Ryuji, smiling at her boyfriend. The entire time he was at the hospital, he had been racking his brain on what to get her for Christmas. He had a pretty small window to realistically get her anything big, plus they had only been really dating for a short time. How much was okay to spend?

“Damn, can’t wait till I get back to school then.” Ryuji laughs. 

“What time are they releasing you tomorrow?” 

“I think in the morning, my Ma is gonna come get me. She ain’t been here much because of work, but she took the morning off tomorrow. I think we’re gonna get breakfast.” He missed his mother, but he understood why she couldn’t be here as often as he would’ve wanted. It was a miracle enough that she was able to get the morning off and spend that time with him. 

“You know she asked me to go Christmas shopping with her yesterday? She already really likes me and we only met a week before.” 

“I hyped you up, course she’s gonna love you. She’s gonna invite you to dinner soon after I’m out so be ready for that.” In their last conversation, Ryuji and his mom had talked about Makoto earlier. She wanted to get to know her properly without having Ryuji in the hospital. He liked the idea, but he had to make sure she was okay with it. He didn’t want to put her on the spot that way, especially with everything that had happened. 

“That sounds nice actually, I’d love to.” Makoto smiles, before getting more serious. “I have therapy tomorrow afternoon but I’ll try to pass by your apartment after to work out the details with your mother.” 

Makoto’s first therapy session was a stressful one since Ryuji’s burn was the day prior. She spent half of the time explaining her relationship with Ryuji and the other half regarding her sister and those traumatic experiences. Dr. Maruki was very kind and understanding of her situation, even if he didn’t know the full scope of the details. It was a chance for her to get everything out there to an unbiased third party, someone who didn’t have a direct stake in any of the relationships. While the first session didn’t provide much in terms of support, she knew she had to set a foundation for future sessions, including tomorrow afternoon. 

“How was that?” He asks, genuinely curious about it. The one time he saw Dr. Maruki was okay, but it wasn’t really for him.

“Good I’d say, I had to explain parts of my life so he could understand where to start. I think tomorrow should be enlightening now that he knows about it.”

“How did you explain going into your sister’s brain?” He laughs. 

She smiles, “That was tricky. I explained it as though it happened in reality. I think he may see me as a little crazy, but the alternative is just as crazy.” Makoto tried to explain it as though Sae had caught them outside without her permission. There were some glaring holes in her story, but she figured Dr. Maruki wouldn’t look for it too deeply, hopefully. There was only so much that could be explained without revealing the metaverse. 

Ryuji looked out the window, seeing the sun almost completely set. “You should go soon, ain’t you gotta study for finals?” 

Makoto gets up, “Yeah, I don’t have too much to worry about but there’s some material I’d like to review… See you tomorrow?” 

“See ya,” Ryuji and Makoto close the gap, sharing a quick kiss before she leaves. He takes the extra time to really think about a gift. A few minutes after she leaves, the idea comes to him. 

\-- 

Makoto knocks on the door. Ryuji texted her earlier today that he had returned back to his apartment, but with finals and her appointment, she didn’t really get a chance to think about it. So now, the night before the last day of finals, Makoto had opted to not study. She knew Ryuji may find it surprising because she was very studious, but even without studying this whole week she’d still nail the exams. She wasn’t worried about missing one night, especially right before winter break. Kiko answers the door. She was wearing a convenience store uniform, one she’d seen in a small chain around town. She grins and opens the door wide. 

“Ah Makoto! Ryuji told me you were passing by, come in!” She excitedly says. Makoto steps back into the apartment. The last time she was here, she and Ryuji were up to very different things, things she wouldn’t talk about with Kiko. She recalls it as a few days before the Shido fight, before everything went downhill. 

There wasn’t much in terms of Christmas decorations outside of a small tree in the corner. Haru absolutely adored Christmas, so their place was decorated to the nines. It was glitz and glamour, but it felt like she was at a retail store. It wasn’t bad, but coming to Ryuji’s mostly normal apartment was a nice change of pace. 

“Is he around?” Makoto asks, noting the lack of Ryuji. 

Kiko shakes her head, “He went out, he texted me he would be back soon. Do you want some tea? I made some.” Makoto nods, slipping onto the barstool. Kiko places a small cup in front of her, which Makoto eagerly drinks. The past few days had been pretty cold, so any opportunity she had to get warmer was appreciated. Makoto sees Kiko preparing a packed lunch, putting items into an organized bento box. 

“Are you heading out? I could always come back another time.” Makoto hesitated. As nice as Kiko was, she didn’t want to make her uncomfortable with the idea of her being home alone with her son. They were dating, so things were bound to happen. 

“Nonsense, I remember being your age and wishing my parents would leave me alone with my boyfriend. I don’t know where you’re at in your relationship with my son and I don’t want either of you telling me. Just in case, I’ll just tell you the same thing I told him: I was way too young when I had Ryuji and I’m still too young to be a grandmother, so use protection.” 

Makoto looks down at the tea, averting her eyes from Kiko. At least she was upfront about her stance, but it didn’t make it any easier for Makoto. They were very active, way more than Kiko would care to know. She definitely agreed that Makoto was too young to be a mother, and while she didn’t know how old his mother was, she assumed she had Ryuji when she was around her age. 

“D-don’t worry!” Makoto stammers, her voice higher than normal. Her nervousness makes Kiko laugh. 

“You can relax, I won’t bug you about it from now on.” She responds. Makoto hears the sound of a key in the door, and Ryuji enters holding a small shopping bag. When he sees Makoto, his eyes light up. 

“Hey! I thought you ditched me today,” Ryuji jokes, locking the door. 

Makoto shakes her head, “Sorry, I lost track of time and forgot to respond to your messages.” 

Kiko finishes packing her bento box and goes to grab a coat hanging on the wall near the door. Ryuji furrows his brows, looking over at Makoto before looking at his mom again. He knew his mom was leaving in part to a last-minute shift change, but it didn’t look like Makoto was leaving either. 

“Uh, Ma?” He asks. 

Kiko quickly slips on her boots and waves them both goodbye, undoing the lock Ryuji had placed. Just like that, it was Ryuji and Makoto alone in the apartment. It’d been a while since he had time with just Makoto in somewhere that wasn’t a hospital room, but he was surprised about how his mom left like that. They had a talk earlier about him and Makoto but didn’t expect her to _actually_ do it.

“Did she talk to ya about…” Ryuji trails off.

“Yeah…” Makoto clears her throat, “At least she trusts us right?”

Ryuji grins, going over to hug her. “Yeah she trusts me way too much now. How was therapy?”

“It was...good. He said he wants to keep talking to me before formally diagnosing me with PTSD, but he said some characteristics I seem to show line up with it. Things like not remembering the event, my nightmares, and being triggered in Shido’s palace. Of course I lied about the details. It was interesting, both to me and him, that the sound of slot machines was more trigger than when Akechi repeated what my sister said.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well,” She places her hands on her thighs. “The consistent theme in my problems stem from my sister, so while it does hurt to be called… well, you know… it doesn’t phase me the same way the slot machines did. I mean, I can say the words ‘slot machines’ and nothing happens but the moment I’m surrounded by them, it’s so overwhelming.”

“Hm, that is weird. You okay talkin’ bout this?” Ryuji is cautious, not wanting to upset her. 

“Yeah, if anything I’m happy you’re asking about it. It means a lot to me,” She reaches over, lightly squeezing his hand, “It’s not the easiest thing to talk about, but having you here really helps me.” 

“‘Course, I’m glad ya can trust me.” 

Makoto smiles, “On a lighter note, your mom and I didn’t get a chance to talk about the dinner so we’ll have to do that soon.” 

“Oh! Wait!” Ryuji says, clearly remembering something. “Close your eyes!” He moves her hands up to her eyes to block them. He goes back to the shopping bag and pulls out a wrapped gift. He was lucky that he found a place that had a small stand for wrapping, otherwise, he wasn’t sure what to do to make it look nice. The wrapping is a simple matte red with a golden bow on it. It was a little early, but with them planning to go into Mementos on Christmas Eve, he wanted to make sure she had a chance to get a real gift. 

“What’s this about?” She laughs. He pulls her hands off her eyes, holding the small present in his other hand. 

“I gotcha something a little early. It ain’t much, but I dunno how Saturday is gonna go. So in case we don’t get a chance…” He hadn’t exactly thought about what he wanted to say. But she seemed to get the hint when she took the gift. She couldn’t really tell what it was, but looked at the notebook like it was precious. Ryuji wasn’t sure what to get, and even when he had come up with something, he didn’t feel like it was good enough. He’d gone to the shops as soon as they got back, spending hours looking at his options. 

Makoto unwraps the present, revealing a notebook. The cover was a modern version of the high priestess tarot card, using gold lines to create the image of a woman sitting on a throne. On the back, there’s a delicate sun with rays extending out. She gasps. She had just been thinking about needing a replacement for the notebook she’d been using for the Phantom Thieves. Flipping through the book, the pages feel strong. In the bottom corner of the back cover, she sees ‘you’re amazing, don’t forget that -Ryuji’

“Oh my god Ryuji…” She says. 

He opens his mouth, “Um, is it bad?” Her reaction was hard to read, with just a gasp and her saying oh my god. It could be good or bad, but his mind went straight for bad. 

“I love it!” 

“Shit you scared me,” He lets out a sigh of relief, “I thought maybe -” 

Makoto doesn’t let him finish, putting the book on the counter and kisses him. It’s the same kiss as always, and that’s why it's perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a context about this story/me:  
> I used to write fan fiction back in the day for some television shows under another username and fell out of it for a few years because life got in the way. Then I started playing Persona and the motivation to write came back.
> 
> I started writing this in early May after I saw their showtime and started shipping them hard. I proceeded to write the whole thing over the course of a month and published the first chapter a day after my birthday in June (mini gift to myself lol)
> 
> I wasn't sure what kind of reception it'd get, I kind of thought it'd get ignored because they're not a super popular ship? But I was absolutely blown away by the response. I'm happy people enjoyed this, along with the other fics that are part of this series. So thank you to everyone who's commented and left kudos. Also the lurkers who kept coming back to my story, I don't know who you are but I still appreciate you very much :)
> 
> Couple notes: 
> 
> -Part four of the series, a one-shot about Haru, is up now. It's called The Pink Phantom. If you want a short fun fic about Haru giving love advice to different Phantom Thieves, check it out
> 
> -There's one final story to this series, which will cover the third semester/royal portion. It's got a little twist that isn't exactly unique, but I hope people enjoy my spin on it.  
> I'm almost done writing it, and I'm pretty pleased with how that one is coming out. But it's going to be a _long_ fic. Like, I'm 200k words in and I'm planning to write at least another 50k. I'm hoping to start publishing that sometime in January. 
> 
> Thank you <3 - Erika

**Author's Note:**

> Where to find me:  
> [Tumblr](https://watercolor-woman.tumblr.com/)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/watercolorw0man)


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